Let’s face it – dating today is elusive. People are meeting new potential dates all the time with the popularity of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr. It’s no wonder that commitment is hard to come by – even for just one date.

Have you ever experienced the “fade” in dating – some call it ghosting – where the person you’ve been seeing suddenly disappears with no reason or explanation? You might have thought things were going great. Maybe you were looking forward to the concert you were going to invite him to, or perhaps you were fantasizing about a future relationship. After all, he was really into you, or so you thought – why not get excited?

But then, inexplicably, your texts and calls went unanswered. Maybe you only went out a few times, but you were starting to get emotionally invested. It’s only natural to want an explanation – to understand why this person you thought was so interested didn’t choose you.

But think about it – you’ve probably been on the other side of this relationship, too. Maybe you started dating someone and it was fun for a while, but you decided as time went on that you really weren’t into that person. Or maybe you decided you didn’t want a relationship that quickly – that you’d rather keep dating. Or maybe you weren’t over your ex and your date had become a nice distraction. Unfortunately, you weren’t as into him as he was into you.

Did you pull the fade on him?

If you’ve only been out a few times, or you never really established what your relationship is, then it’s difficult to know what to do when that person disappears. After all, you weren’t “together” – at least not in any committed sense. So what’s the problem, and why are you so upset over a relationship that wasn’t “real”?

The problem with this thinking is that it’s misguided. Even if you haven’t had “the talk” with someone you have dated, if you have developed feelings, then it can be just as devastating as a real break-up. This is why it’s important to not pull the fade.

Instead, honor and respect the person you’ve been dating by letting her know you aren’t interested in a relationship. It might hurt to be blunt, but it will help the other person move on more quickly and easily. After all, wouldn’t you want to know?

It’s important to be clear in this age of elusiveness in dating. It will create more open and honest relationships in your life. Don’t pretend to be friends or continue to hook up with someone you aren’t interested in. Make a clean break. Allow him to move on, too.

Here’s the scenario: you’ve been dating an incredible guy – kind, funny, smart – and it seems the two of you have hit it off. You imagined your future relationship – taking vacations, moving in together. You’re smitten, and it seems he is, too. However, he told you that he broke up with his girlfriend a couple of weeks before you met. He claims he’s over her and wants to see where your new relationship is headed, but you have your doubts.

His confession has put a damper on your relationship, or at least how you feel about it. Maybe he’s telling the truth – that he has moved on – but you have a nagging sense that you might be a rebound for him.

How do you know for sure? Are there signs?

The development of any relationship can be tricky – there are no guarantees, which is why you have to take your chances from time to time if you feel the desire to be with someone, to see where the relationship goes no matter what. This could be one of those times to take the risk and put your heart out there – it is up to you to decide.

While it’s important to throw caution to the wind, it’s also good to pay attention to warning signs. Here’s how to tell that he might not be over his ex:

He pushes your relationship forward faster than you want. There’s nothing wrong with a man who is excited about you. But if he wants to charge ahead when you would rather take things a bit more slowly, he might be avoiding his own grieving process. Every broken relationship requires healing time – he might have done this while he was in the relationship, but maybe not. If he’s serious about you, he will respect your timeline without feeling the need to get serious so quickly.

He is hot and cold. Does he sweep you off your feet one day, and retreat into silence the next? If you have a hard time keeping track of his moods or when you can reach him, he’s obviously distracted. This likely means he’s still dealing with the pain of losing his old relationship, or that he is scared to move on to a new one with you – and possibly get hurt again.

He is set in his relationship ways. It might be difficult to notice right away, but pay attention to his habits when you are with him – for instance, does he communicate with you, or just tell you what he wants to happen? Does he criticize your taste in decorating or how you cook because it is different from what he’s “used to?” Does he assume you want to do the things he wants to do? If he is already carving out your place in the relationship, it’s a red flag that he is trying to recreate his past relationship. Start from a new place and compromise, or consider that he might not be ready for a relationship.

Dating app Clover analyzed data from 200,000 users of its service to find out where people like to go on a first date. Not surprisingly – Starbucks Coffee Chains took the number one spot.

What was surprising about the study was that bars and other popular coffee shops didn’t really figure into the top choices. According to Clover, their users chose restaurants overall, though perhaps meeting for a drink at a restaurant is preferable for most first dates instead of the local bar. After all, if it’s going well – then you can just move on to dinner.

But as it turns out, well-known chain restaurants are among the most popular places to meet a date, as opposed to a local café or even a bar. (It doesn’t pay to be a little more creative.) Chains including In-N-Out, Olive Garden, and Red Lobster are among the top 30 places to meet a first date, according to Clover. Chipotle claimed the number two spot behind Starbucks, beating out Cheesecake Factory at number four and Peet’s Coffee and Tea at number fifteen.

Women differ from men by where they would like to meet for that first date. Fifty-two percent would rather meet at a coffee shop, as opposed to only 35% who prefer to meet at a restaurant. Perhaps because they don’t want to get stuck for a meal that could take hours with someone they aren’t especially attracted to. On the other hand, men are far more willing to take their chances, or at least enjoy a good meal as long as they are on a date. Fifty-one percent of men prefer to meet at restaurants, as opposed to 31% who prefer coffee shops. Surprisingly, neither men or women find bars to be good first date places. Only 18% of men and 13% of women would choose to meet at a bar.

While Starbucks far outweighs any other coffee shop on the list when it comes to preferable meeting places, restaurants do tend to differ according to age. Eighteen to twenty-four year-olds, typically with the lowest discretionary income, chose Chipotle as their number one choice. Twenty-five to thirty-four year-olds preferred Cheesecake Factory, while 35 and older chose The Olive Garden.

It should be noted that Clover is an “on-demand” dating app, which allows users to select a nearby location through the app to meet for a first date. The data was gathered through user preferences in the app.

Ah, the much-maligned hookup app.

It gets a bad rap. Naysayers act like “hookup culture” is a recent phenomenon, like having smartphone access to hundreds of possible dates suddenly made people want to have casual sex with each other.

It sounds silly when you think of it that way, doesn't it? The hookup app didn't make people more inclined to hook up, it just made it more efficient.

We talk about tools like Tinder in a very specific way. The media says they've “revolutionized” how people date and mate. “But,” Mic notes, “what we call modern might not be so new.” The Tinders of the world wouldn't exist if it weren't for one “humble predecessor” that started it all: Craigslist.

Cragslist got its start in 1995, as an email mailing list in San Francisco. It wasn't long before it became more than a marketplace for products and services. Soon it was connecting individuals, spurred on by the opportunity for free, uncensored, and anonymous connections. The site's sparse layout, faceless profiles, and near-endless options made it a perfect destination for those looking to explore.

Craigslist created a uniquely candid atmosphere. Openness between strangers was encouraged. Users felt comfortable sharing their deepest, darkest desires – maybe things they hadn't even acknowledged to themselves. It was, and still is, a place to get honest with yourself and honest with others. Users can be fully themselves, the ultimate freedom.

Like the so-called hookup apps, Craigslist is about more than just sex. Out of that vulnerable environment springs actual emotion. Something casual can lead to dating and even marriage. The basic premise of CL's “Casual Encounters” section and a hookup app is the same: “connect people who might not have met otherwise and facilitate real-life meetups for sex or dating.” In that sense, Craigslist is the ancient ancestor of every dating service we have today.

Now Craigslist is a fish in a much larger ocean. It's lost a significant portion of its audience, who have turned instead to the booming dating market and its enhanced technology. Image-centric profiles and geolocation tech make it easier than ever for users to quickly connect in person.

That being said, Craiglist has yet to lose its appeal. While other dating services become progressively less private, Craigslist retains its strong sense of anonymity. That's an invaluable commodity in a world that increasingly shows little regard for privacy.

For more information on the original hookup app take a look at our Craigslist review.

After a long stint off the dating scene, you're bound to feel a bit rusty. You're torn.

On one hand, you're itching to get your man about town status back. On the other, you're secretly scared you don't remember how any of it works.

Whether you're divorced, widowed, dumped, or embracing singlehood by choice, these tips will get you back in the online dating game.

1. It may take longer than anticipated. You're raring to go because online dating feels fresh and fun. Your date may not feel the same way. Online dating may take a back seat to her busy life, so relax and don't let your head get carried away with negative thoughts if she doesn't respond right away.
2. You may not actually speak before meeting. Back when you were courting, before your last relationship, it may have been customary to get to know each other over the phone. Those days are over. Phones are for everything but phone calls now. Between an online dating site's messaging function and texting, it's highly likely (and perfectly acceptable) that you won't speak until your face-to-face meeting.
3. She probably won't want you to pick her up. It's almost hard to believe that was once a thing. Now, no woman you meet online (unless she has complete disregard for her safety) will want you to meet her at home. Most online daters are trustworthy, but enough aren't that women have to take security seriously. You will most likely meet in a mutually agreed upon public place.
4. Don't bring a present. In a romantic age gone by, it was customary for a gentlemen to bring something for his lady friend – a bouquet of flowers, perhaps, or some other small token of affection. These days it will probably get you dumped before the date even starts. It's too much too soon (and may come off as creepy or sleazy).
5. Don't be surprised if she offers to go Dutch. Plenty of women offer to split the check with you after a date. What you do with that offer is up to you. Just don't make the mistake of thinking it's emasculating or means she thinks you aren't capable of paying. It's a positive – she's independent, capable of taking care of herself, and doesn't consider you a walking wallet.

Some things, on the other hand, never change. It's still polite to follow-up after a date (try a text instead of a call). If all went well, you'll have an open invite to plan the next one. If not... well... no means exactly the same thing now as it did years ago.

The great thing about online dating (well, one of many) is that it can connect people from almost anywhere in the world. The not-so-great thing is that, eventually, one of those people is bound to be someone you wish it wasn't.

A big city seems surprisingly small when swiping leads you to an ex, or a co-worker, or – squick – a sibling. As soon as that familiar face pops up on your screen, the buffer of anonymity you thought you had shrivels up and expires.

Once upon a time, part of the appeal of online dating was the privacy factor. It felt safe. Looking at photos and a profile kept you one step removed from the real human on the other side, making vulnerability easier and rejection less painful.

Now, with more and more people turning to dating sites and apps, you're increasingly likely to run into someone you recognize. Or worse, someone who recognizes you. Kiss that safety net goodbye.

Some dating services are taking steps to ease the awkwardness. Grindr allows users to set geographical constraints and block other users. On JSwipe, users can turn off the ability to be seen by or match with Facebook friends. On Tinder, a simple swipe left means that person will never appear on your feed again.

OkCupid has plans to take things a step further, with new features set to roll out in the upcoming months. One will allow a user to hide their profile from all users by default. It will only be seen by people they actively “Like” or send a message to. The other feature adds the option of connecting a Facebook account, so all Facebook friends are immediately blocked on OkCupid.

While some are fiercely protective of their privacy, others are taking the opposite stance. A handful of Tinder users told The Daily Beast they swipe right on familiar faces as a friendly hello or a way to reconnect platonically with old acquaintances. Some even admitted to using dating apps and sites to keep tabs on exes. Just imagine the trouble location-based apps could get you into under those circumstances.

If the question is “Is online dating – and social media in general – bringing an end to anonymity?” the answer has to be yes. But if the question is “Does it matter?” the answer becomes more complex.

There's no doubt safety is important. Certain info doesn't belong online because it puts you at risk. But beyond that, what's the issue? Insecurity? Vulnerability?

The world will be a better place when we don't feel insecure or ashamed about wanting a relationship, and seeing as vulnerability is key to any strong romantic foundation, perhaps it isn't something to be feared after all.