I'm the optimistic sort, but in the face of online dating, even my normally unshakable optimism can start to quiver.

It's not that online dating is bad – far from it – but it isn't always easy. If you've been slogging through dead-end date after dead-end date, online dating might feel like a quick fix for a dull love life. You basically just put up a profile and go shopping for a significant other, right? How hard can it be to swipe until someone tickles your fancy?

Optimist Me says you might get lucky. You could come across someone who's perfect partner material right away and be an instant online dating success story. On the other hand, Realist Me knows those stories are rare, and you'll probably have your fair share of dating fails before you meet your dream date.

The hard part is not getting discouraged when you're in the failure stage. If there's anything that guarantees you won't be an online dating success story, it's giving up on online dating. It will have its hard moments, but it will also have its rewarding ones. Set your expectations accordingly by accepting these 4 online dating truths:

1. Eventually you will run into someone you know. Even in a big city, this feels like an inevitability. It could be a Facebook friend. It could be a co-worker. It could even be a sibling. Try not to feel too awkward and move on. It's pretty much a fact of modern life that this will happen and everyone just has to get used to it.
2. You will be ghosted. You've met someone you're into. You share a few messages back and forth, things seem like they're going well, and then... the person disappears, never to be heard from again. Is it polite? No. But is it the price of doing online dating business? Yes. It will happen, and when it does, you have to let it go and move on.
3. Photos will lie. Everyone knows this is a risk with online dating, yet we still act surprised when it happens. Most people online are genuine, but there are plenty who use filters, strategic angles, careful lighting, and years-old photos to appear younger or more attractive. You'll get burned at some point, and the only response is to pick yourself up and carry on.
4. A 99% match could be meaningless. Fancy algorithms sound like the key to Dating 2.0, but at the end of the day it's just guesswork. No algorithm (yet) gets it right all the time. Chemistry just isn't quantifiable. Dating sites do the best they can, but don't let it get you down if a person you thought was perfect on paper doesn't hold up in person.

Are you on Tinder? Chances are, you’re also a member of a traditional online dating site – and many of you are paying for the service. According to a recent survey by Global Web Index, 70% of Tinder users also use an online dating site – and the majority are accessing all dating sites through their phones (58%).

Tinder has changed the online dating market in a big way – more people are participating, simply because Tinder has helped online dating lose its stigma by providing a low-intensity, game-like experience. It’s much easier to swipe left and right according to potential matches' looks, and have Facebook and Instagram photos populate your profile without having to do much. It takes the pressure off of the whole experience, plus it’s free unless you upgrade to Tinder Plus.

However, many people who use Tinder want to add to their online dating experience, and therefore join paid sites like Match.com along with other online dating sites, paid or free (although most free online dating services are moving to a tiered premium service model to create more revenue).

Global Web Index found some interesting statistics in their study – including the fact that 31% of those surveyed used an online dating site in the last month, but only 1% used Tinder. Six percent used a location-based dating app, which means people are looking for other alternatives to Tinder, even in the dating app market.

Obtaining revenue from Tinder Plus could be an obstacle for the company. According to Global Web Index, only 14% of online dating site users as a whole pay for a service, while 24% of Tinder users pay for an online dating site (which makes it seem likely they wouldn't also pay for Tinder). And more than a third of dating app users say they use ad-blocking software, which means premium services like Tinder Plus have to come up with compelling features to attract paying clients, in addition to promising an ad-free experience. Perhaps this is why the company is placing limits on its free service, restricting the number of profiles a user can look at each day – to get people to invest in the paid service.

One last interesting statistic from the study: men outnumber women on Tinder 6 to 4, so ladies are definitely at an advantage using the app. However, although half of Tinder users are single, a substantial amount (30%) are married, and another 12% consider themselves in a relationship – even though they are on Tinder.

So if you decide to use Tinder, it’s a safe bet that your online dating experience will be enhanced if you decide to invest in another service as well.

Luxy, a new dating app for rich people, seems to like provocative gimmicks to attract new users to their service. First, they launched their app in 2014 describing it as “Tinder without the poor people.” Now, they have taken their brand to the next outrageous level by offering $3.4 million to rename the celebrity enclave of Hidden Hills, California after their own app – Luxy, U.S.A.

Hidden Hills is an exclusive suburb of Los Angeles, home to celebrities Jennifer Lopez, Miley Cyrus, and the Kardashians. The app is trying to tie in its own service with the rich celebrity lifestyle.

According to an article in CNN Money, the app so far has 135,000 active users, including its latest member – an actor from Californication. (Luxy is apparently using this bit of celebrity news to help promote the app, too.)

To qualify to use Luxy, members must prove they make at least $200,000 per year – by providing income tax statements.

At this point online dating is pretty much inescapable. It seems like everyone has tried it, or knows someone who tried it, or has at least thought about it. For some of those people it's intuitive. For others it's... not.

Let's get this out of the way first: it's totally ok if you don't “get it” immediately. There's a learning curve, and learning means taking a few tumbles before you can run a marathon. An online dating marathon. Or something (just go with it).

Some of those tumbles you'll have to take on your own, but here's a quick guide to getting it right with as few scrapes and bruises as possible. Avoid these all-too-common online dating mistakes:

1. “Hi” is not a conversation starter. “How are you?” isn't either. And something obscene most definitely isn't. A conversation starter is supposed to – breaking news – start a conversation, which one boring word or easily answered phrase most definitely won't do. Pick something you found interesting in the profile and ask specifically about that.
2. 2^nd grade spelling tests do matter. Yes, they were a pain when you were a kid, but you took them for a reason. Not knowing the difference between “your” and “you're” as an adult is not a good look. Brush up on grammar rules and spell check before you send anything.
3. Try, try again does not apply here. If at first you don't succeed, it's probably a sign. You might be able to get away with one follow-up – it is possible your message got lost, or that its intended recipient was too busy to get back – but don't relentlessly message someone who doesn't respond. As Elsa would say, let it go.
4. While you're at it, don't get nosy or rude about a lack of reply. No one owes you an answer. In a perfect world we would all be brilliant communicators, but sometimes silence is all we've got. Don't ask why they didn't write back, and don't harass them about it. Accept it and move on.
5. It's not all about you. It's not not about you, but it's not all about you. What it is about is balance. On one hand, there's something in particular you're looking for – you have wants and needs that should be met. On the other hand, so do the people you're trying to date. It's ok (and encouraged) to share things about yourself, but you also have to ask about the other person. Selfishness is not sexy, period.

That should get you started. Now tumble away.

Creativity is hard. I get it.

I stare at blank pages every day and have to turn them into useful, compelling content. It's always intimidating, but the fact that it's a daily routine makes it increasingly less stressful all the time.

Then there's your online dating profile. It also requires creativity and compelling use of language, but it's not a skill you're practicing every day. You do it once, with occasional revamps when something isn't working, and that's it.

So, yeah, there's pressure. And sometimes the easiest way to avoid feeling that pressure is to stick with what you already know, and apply formulas you think have already been proven. The problem with using that approach to your online dating profile is that, pretty soon, every profile you scroll through will look like all the others. They become one big blur of trendy, but ultimately dull, buzzwords.

You've probably already noticed certain words and phrases keep popping up in your matches. Everyone is “spontaneous” and “laidback” and “up for an adventure.” We love to travel. We couldn't do without our friends and family. All those things might be true, but this is also true: they're drop dead boring. They're essentially the modern equivalent of saying you like long walks on the beach.

You think you're describing your personality, when what you're actually doing is saying “I have no idea how to describe myself” (or maybe even “I don't know myself”). The buzzwords are making you less nuanced and unique than you actually are, because their ubiquity means they've lost their meaning.

Here's what you need instead. Researchers from Barts and the London School of Medicine and the University of North Texas found that the most successful dating messages directly address someone's personality, so you need to make sure your profile is full of that personality. It's your job to pack it with conversation starters so potential dates can send you interesting, thoughtful messages. If you don't, your inbox will be a sea of “Hey” and “Hi there.”

Remember that your profile is meant to represent a living, breathing, complex human being. Provide context and get specific. If you say you're up for an adventure, mention a wild exploit you're hoping to cross off your bucket list some day. If you're into travel, mention your favorite destination and explain why. If you want to go for drinks, say you're a sucker for gritty dive bars with metal music.

At the end of the day, no one is dating your profile. They're dating you – so share the stories that make the person behind the screen come alive.

This month, eHarmony and Match.com both announced the release of new dating apps available for smartwatch users.

According to eHarmony, 50% of new users come to its service via their mobile devices, so the company has made a push towards more mobile-friendly technology; part of that initial push includes their dating app being accessible through wearable technology – specifically Android Wear and Samsung Gear S devices.

Not to be outdone, Match.com is launching its own dating app – but for the Apple Watch instead. Match’s new dating app for wearable technology joins Coffee Meets Bagel’s app, the first dating app to announce its availability on the Apple Watch.

Match’s app for Apple Watch is clean and visually based. It works through three basic steps: “Glances,” which provides a quick look at your app and how many matches you have in the queue; “Discover” which allows you to accept or reject a match alongside his/her photo, much like Tinder; and “To send a message,” where once you touch the profile, you can choose from one of the message options or tap the microphone to use voice-to-text dictation to compose your own email.

eHarmony’s new app is a little more complex, as the service is known for matchmaking and their longer communication process rather than for quick swipes to accept or reject a photo. Both the Samsung Gear S and Android Wear smartwatches will display notifications that are synced with the eHarmony users’ phone. When a match sends a communication, the member receives a push notification to their phone and an “enhanced” notification to their smartwatch. The enhanced notification includes the match’s name, age, and location, as well as their primary photo and personal message sent through eH Mail. Users are also informed when they receive a “smile” or questions sent using the company’s Guided Communication options. The member can then select Open Profile, which will open the eHarmony app on the connected Android device, and load their match’s profile.

“Mobile represents a huge opportunity for us to capture new market share and broaden our impact and we are seeing this happen at an accelerating rate in recent months,” said Armen Avedissian, Chief Operating Officer, eHarmony. “New entrants in the online dating category are helping drive interest in eHarmony, while taking market share away from competitors. Combine this circumstance with eHarmony’s powerful brand and industry-leading outcomes and we have the perfect recipe to grow substantially. We are pleased to announce these new releases.”

eHarmony and Match dating apps for smartwatches are available now in Android and iTunes stores respectively.