It can be fun to get together with your single friends and compare your dating experiences. I blog about it, and when I was single, bad dates provided some pretty great ideas for posts!

But after a while, all the awkward and disappointing dates can get you down, especially when you commiserate with friends. In fact, you might be at the point where you don’t want to get together with friends at all, because the date bashing sessions can feel tired or depressing. You might wonder if dating is this way for everyone, or if there are any good men left.

Well, don’t worry – with over 50% of the American population who are single, and many more around the world, you can meet some pretty amazing people. You just have to keep perspective, which can be hard to do if you keep revisiting dating problems with your cynical friends.

There are different ways that your friends can influence your thinking and overall outlook on dating:

They stereotype.

Be careful of anyone using language like “all men are players,” or “nobody is looking for a serious relationship.” These blanket statements aren’t true, and worse, they are influencing how you think about your dates.

What you can do instead:

Approach every new person as a blank slate – assume nothing. Instead of believing your friend’s advice that men on Tinder are only looking for casual sex, take a different attitude. There are plenty of guys out there looking for relationships – you just have to put it out there that you are, too. If you're not finding it on Tinder, try a different app, or take a class, or join a running group. There are so many ways to meet new people - take advantage.

They encourage you to join in the rant.

It might feel good to get those bad dates off your chest, but then what? Usually, you all leave feeling a little more cynical about your dating prospects.

What you can do instead:

Rather than joining in the men-bashing, try thinking of positive things to say about the men in your life who you love, like your brother, cousin, or a good friend. It’s important to remember that dating is a process, and you’re not going to click romantically with everyone. But that doesn’t mean the men you date are bad people – they just aren’t for you.

They get quiet if you have a good date.

Did you have a good date, but nobody wants to hear about it? Or maybe they pick your date apart, looking for what’s wrong. Either way, this is not a good feeling, and can kill that good first date buzz.

What you can do instead:

Try mixing it up with your single friends and invite a friend or two who are in happy relationships. Sometimes it helps to get a little perspective. Dating can be exciting, too when a new relationship is starting to bloom. It's good to remember that it’s okay to be excited and hopeful. Yes, you might get hurt, but you also might find love. The risk you take is always worth it.

Much has been written about the May-December romance. We call women who date older men gold diggers. We call men who date younger women sugar daddies. And let’s not forget about the cougars and their cubs.

There’s something about an age gap that both fascinates and repels us. EliteSingles recently conducted a study to find out why, and found that many of our stereotypes are based in fact.

The dating site analyzed the upper and lower age search limits of more than 450,000 of its members for the answer a burning question: what age difference would you accept in your partner?

The stereotype of older men seeking increasingly younger partners proved true. Men aged 60-69 indicated, on average, a desired partner age of up to 11 years younger than themselves. And the other end of the spectrum? Brace yourself: the oldest they would accept is a partner just 1 year their senior.

It stings for older women, but before the mature ladies completely lose faith in humanity, younger men throw a twist into the story. Guys aged up to 30 prefer to date women who are older, rather than younger. Between the ages of 20-29, many men indicate a preference for a partner 3-6 years older than themselves. 

EliteSingles Partner Psychologist Sam Owen believes that ‘’the finding that men aged 20-29 prefer older women rather than the suspected ‘younger model’ is likely indicative of the change in gender roles in modern society towards more equality between the sexes. Young men nowadays probably also recognise that older women are adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities (career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances, socialising), which makes them intriguing and attractive and a more secure option.’’

Women may not be as keen on playing the cougar as men are on playing the cub, however. The data from female users suggests that women across the board prefer to be the younger half of a relationship. Women over the age of 50, for example, would ideally like a match who is 6 years older than their own age. And there’s little wiggle room in the other direction - anyone more than 5 years younger is deemed too young.

Younger women not only echo the sentiment, they amplify the interest in older men. For 20-29 year olds, the average age difference desired was up to 10 years, while women aged 30-39 sought a partner up to 8 years older. Women in their twenties weren’t interested in men more than 3 years their junior.

For more information on this dating service which conducted the study you can read our Elite Singles review.

Tinder might be the dating app giant, but other dating apps are seeing success by catering to specific market needs that don't involve endless swiping.

Last month at Tech Crunch Disrupt, a panel of dating app CEOS gathered to discuss the industry, trends, and how things are changing – they think for the better. Specifically, the talk was given by three female CEOs about how women are changing the dating app game: Whitney Wolfe from Bumble, Dawoon Kang from Coffee Meets Bagel, and Robyn Exton of Her.

One thing to note: while these are all dating apps, they made sure to point out that their focuses and application are different. Bumble is a female-centric dating app similar to Tinder and free to use, although the company is looking for ways to monetize the app without resorting to all-paid memberships or advertising. Wolfe says that they have noticed an interesting trend among users: that they are looking for friendships, too. Right now, Bumble’s platform allows you to look for friends as well as dates, but soon they will be rolling out a feature that includes finding groups with similar interests.

Coffee Meets Bagel is an app that stresses quality over quantity, allowing only one match per day, and giving the users only twenty-four hours to accept a match. Kang is focused on the success of the matches, which she says only helps other people spread the word about the app. She is rolling out a paid feature that lets daters use an A/B test to see which photos they should put on their profile. Right now, users can also pay for a premium membership, which includes more matches and other incentives.

Her is aimed specifically toward female dating in the LGBTQ community. Exton points out that they have been lucky to be able to focus on one gender when studying patterns for dating and befriending people over the app. The app offers users a community – with news of local events, social networking, and dating applications.

All three CEOs agreed that a more nuanced approach to features is the key to an app’s success, designed to benefit a specific group of users, whether that is women, same-sex daters or people looking for friendship.

Despite the popularity of Tinder and our swipe-happy culture of dating, there is still room in the market for other players – even new apps. Most people (while they do still use Tinder) are looking to other apps to help fill a need that they feel Tinder isn’t serving. Whether daters have concerns about security, or are looking for an app that offers more than photos, or look to a niche market (like Farmer Dating) to satisfy their particular requests for mates, many more apps are launching and some are seeing success.

Competition, no matter how saturated the market, is always good for the consumer.

Mixing politics and dating isn’t always the best idea, but one thing’s for sure: politicians want to encourage young people to vote and be politically active. So what better way to connect with them than on their own turf?

At least, this is the thinking behind UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s latest move. He joined Tinder last month, not to date, but to connect with millennials, who are a target voting market. He met with leading tech companies earlier to try a new approach that would engage young voters.

Reports claim he has joined Tinder to encourage young people to vote in the EU referendum, amid fears many aren’t registered. The plan with Tinder is that Cameron will place advertisements that resemble dating profiles as part of the electoral registration drive.

Does this seem deceptive to people on Tinder who are looking to meet dates, not to engage in politics? Perhaps, but this isn’t the first time dating apps have gotten political.

Earlier this year, Swipe The Vote asked Tinder users 10 questions designed to assess their political preferences for issues like same-sex marriage, immigration and fracking. And when Bernie Sanders supporters on Facebook noticed a trend of Bernie fans looking to meet each other, a new dating site called Bernie Singles was born. Now, there’s even a dating app for Trump opponents called Maple Dating, which offers eligible Canadian matches to Americans who want to leave the country.

So what does all this mean? Are dating apps getting more political? Should dating and politics mix? It’s murky ground, but one thing is for sure. Politicians wanting to capture the attention of young voters have to think outside of normal ad campaigns. And if setting up a dating profile on Tinder works to engage your audience, then why not meet them where they are?

Bumble has gotten in on the political action, too. It now allows its users to declare which Presidential candidate they support, and to filter those who disagree accordingly. JSwipe also has features that let you filter according to political persuasion. And while most daters are willing to date across party lines, they have their limits. The polarization of American politics is getting more personal, where people who are staunch supporters of particular polarizing candidates – like Trump – or specific issues, like those that deal with LGBTQ laws – do not want to date those who disagree with them.

So where does that leave us? Dating culture reflects our shifting values and politics, so it’s only natural that in a controversial Presidential election season, we become more engaged in political discussion. But hopefully after November, you can date a little easier.

For more on this dating app you can read our Tinder review

Our unique perspectives are not only shaped by our experiences, friends, and family, but also by how we perceive the world. You know that little voice in your head that likes to boss you around, or tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing?

That’s your inner critic, and it likes to hang in the background, reminding you of what is “right” – and how you might have screwed something up. In fact, you probably don’t even realize it’s there – it has become such a constant part of your life.

This little voice is constantly assessing, judging, and advising you. On the flip side, that same little voice is also judging other people you come across – what they are wearing, what they say, how they come across, or even how they are living their lives. This is especially true when dating. If you want to find a partner, you can count on the fact that your inner critic has a say.

We all want to be free to live our lives without judgment or criticism, but often, that judgment we feel comes from within. When you find yourself judging someone else, chances are you are assuming the other person is judging you, even if they aren’t. This is especially true in dating.

You’ve likely been on dates when that inner critic is talking and taking control. Perhaps it points out all of your date’s flaws – his receding hairline, his clothing, the way he speaks, or maybe even the drink he orders. But while you might think it’s a good thing to notice potential issues to minimize any looming disaster, or to avoid wasting time with someone who isn’t right, that little voice is pulling you away from the moment. It is cramping your freedom and fun.

And if your inner critic has picked apart your date, chances are it is unleashing on you, too. It might ask why you are talking so much, or what a mistake you made by choosing a certain restaurant to meet, or even criticizing you for wearing your boots instead of a pair of heels. It’s exhausting.

So how do you ignore that inner critic? It’s not easy – we often fall back into familiar patterns without realizing it. The important thing is to pay attention, and recognize when that inner critic starts talking. You can tell when this happens, because it sounds something like this:

• He has a weird laugh
• She keeps interrupting me
• Why would he pick this place? The food is awful.
• She’s not my type

When you hear the voice start to criticize your date, take a deep breath and let it go. Focus on something you find likeable or attractive about your date. If nothing else, suggest taking a walk together for a change of scenery. Bring yourself back into the present moment.

Not every date is going to be great, but if you stop letting your inner critic take control, the whole dating experience will be much less frustrating, and much more fun. 

Fresh off the news that BeautifulPeople.com had been hacked comes another tale of privacy violation. This time, Fling.com is the victim of the breach.

International Business Times reports that tens of millions of credentials were stolen from the adult dating website and put up for sale on the dark web. The information allegedly includes usernames, plain text passwords, email addresses, IP addresses, gender, sexual preferences, and date of birth records. It appears that some of the accounts belong to Fling administrators.

According to the hacker responsible for the breach - who goes by the pseudonym ‘peace_of_mind’ - the data dump contains more than 40 million Fling.com records. It’s currently on sale for 0.8874 bitcoins, which is worth approximately $411 at the time of writing.

Vice Motherboard obtained a sample of the data from the hacker. The individual to whom the Fling.com domain is registered then confirmed its legitimacy.

“We take internet security very seriously,” he wrote in an email to Motherboard. “Our site is free to join and we do not store any credit card information. We've investigated the sample data and it is from a breach that happened in 2011.”

Motherboard also shared the sample data with security researcher Troy Hunt, proprietor of the breach notification website “Have I Been Pwned?” Using HIBP, Hunt discovered and contacted two victims of the Fling breach. One confirmed their full password in the sample. The second claimed they had no recollection of joining the site, but said the beginning of the password was something they have used in the past.

On the bright side, some of the email addresses in the sample did not appear to belong to any Fling accounts. Motherboard tested 101 addresses and found that only 61 were already in use.

Additionally, some of the accounts included in the data may have been disabled prior to the breach. “Accounts in the sample were also flagged with settings such as ‘admin_disabled,’ ‘user_disabled,’ or “active,’” writes Motherboard. “However, these flags seemed to have no bearing on whether an email address was already in use or not on Fling.”

Continued investigation provided further reason to believe that not all the accounts for sale are valid. Motherboard found that accounts can be created on Fling without clicking a verification link sent to an email address. They also found that Fling passwords are required to include numbers, though many passwords in the sample data only contained letters.

To be on the safe side, anyone who has used Fling.com should change their password - particularly if it has been used for more valuable services, like an email account or bank account.