New Study Finds Daters Prefer Savers Over Spenders

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Have you always envisioned the perfect guy to romance you with grand gestures like exotic trips, expensive jewelry or dinners at fancy restaurants?

Turns out, most singles would rather you have a savings account and a 401K.

According to a recent study from the University of Michigan Ross School of Business, savers are viewed as more attractive dating material than spenders. Researchers gathered existing studies and conducted a series of experiments asking participants to rate the desirability of different dates. They concluded that as long as the urge to save isn't extreme, the perception is that savers possess greater self-control, which increases their romantic attractiveness.

And saving habits are thought to lead to other good disciplinary practices as well, like working out and eating healthily, according to the study. So daters who care about saving money might be perceived as better looking and more physically attractive, too.

Researchers were quick to note the context in which they conducted the study, since the economic climate in the U.S. has been depressed compared to before the recession began in 2008. This could affect the priorities of singles, who are looking for someone who is more cautious and less flagrant when it comes to trying to impress a date.

The study notes that: "We observed this pattern in the shadow of the Great Recession, a time in which people who chronically spend may be viewed as especially irresponsible. Whether savers continue to be preferred in times of economic abundance (when active saving is less necessary for financial survival) is an important open question."

This isn't the first bit of news to tie economics to dating preferences. An article in the New York Times earlier this year noted that a person's credit score is a very important factor in deciding whether or not to date someone. "Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease test," said Manisha Thakor, the founder and chief executive of MoneyZen Wealth Management, in the Times article. "It's a shorthand way to get a sense of someone's financial past the same way an S.T.D. test gives some information about a person's sexual past."

And a survey last fall found that more than 25% of adult daters have used a coupon on a first date, and 73% of those surveyed said they would continue to date a coupon clipper.

It seems most daters are on board with saving pennies, so there's no need to impress him or her with over the top gifts or gestures. Impress her with your credit score instead.

4 More Truths About Online Dating

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Remember what I said previously about the secret realities of online dating? Well, there's more where that came from.

If you want to make it through the online dating jungle with minimal fatigue, minimal heartbreak, and maximum fun and success, add these 4 truths about online dating to your list:

  1. My dad's advice was right: You can please some people some of the time, but you can't please all people all of the time. There are some people who just won't be interested in you. And that's ok. (I sucks at first, but then it's ok.) You can't let it get you down or put you off online dating (or, if you're feeling really melodramatic, dating in general) forever. There are plenty of fish in the sea, even if that's not the site you're using.
  2. As Dr. House would say, Everybody lies. It would be nice if it wasn't true, but we are never going to live in a world where everyone is honest, all the time. In fact, there's a good chance you're not honest all the time. You could say that everyone who stretches the truth is a jerk, but I think that's doing them a disservice. The question is: Why did they do it? Were they actually trying to be malicious, or is there a much less devious explanation? If they just needed a little help getting their foot in the door, consider cutting them some slack. That foot might be attached to someone awesome.
  3. An online dating profile isn't as deep as you think it is. Every online dating site swears its profile goes more in-depth than any other site, or that its matching algorithm is more complex and accurate than any of the competition. Yes, dating services are constantly trying to improve the experience, and as online daters we try our best to create multifaceted pictures of who we are in our profiles, but the reality is that it will only ever be a one-dimensional representation of who we really are. Try to remember that what's on a person's page is just the tip of the iceberg.
  4. Rules are definitely meant to be broken. A more appropriate name for this one might have been "Rules? What rules?" There are none anymore. You're probably abiding by all kinds of principles you think are important that really aren't. Email whoever you're interested in. Ask someone out if you want to meet them in person. Stop playing coy and forget about gender roles. Online dating is the perfect time to throw caution to the wind and take a flying leap out of your comfort zone.

Why You Didn’t Hear Back

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You could be the best-looking person on this planet, but I guarantee even you have had this problem at least once: you didn't hear back from someone you were interested in.

It blows, right? You spot the perfect online dating profile, and you think "YES! I barely know anything about this person, but it's obvious we're going to fall in love and get married and be together forever!" [Note: Do not actually have this reaction to people you have never met. It's creepy.]

Then you send a message to them and wait for their gushing response about how great it is that you've finally found each other. But it never comes. And you're left wondering why someone you thought was so perfect doesn't think you're perfect, too.

Buck up. Grab some Ben & Jerry's. And let's settle in for a little life lesson. Here's why they didn't get back to you:

  1. They can't. Many dating sites allow both paid and free members to join, but only allow paying members to view and/or send mail. Don't take it personally if your love interest simply couldn't see or respond to your message.
  2. They're drowning in a sea of messages. If you think a person is awesome, there's a good chance other people also think they're awesome. The cream of the online dating crop is inundated with emails - maybe even triple digits per day - which makes it pretty much impossible to respond to everything. Your message may just have slipped through the cracks.
  3. Your message wasn't up to snuff. Did you include an attention-grabbing subject line? Did you send an obvious cut-and-paste message? Did you ask an interesting question, include a witty joke, make a thoughtful reference to their profile, or otherwise do something that encourages interaction? Take some time to learn what kind of emails get opened and responded to.
  4. Your photos aren't working for you. First of all: do you even have a photo? If you don't, that's the first thing to fix. If you do, do you have more than one? You should. And if you have that under control, evaluate your photo album with a critical eye. Do they actually show you at your best? Do they represent you well? Do they paint you in an interesting light? What stories do they tell?
  5. Your profile is harder to get through than War and Peace. Maybe you have a snooze-fest of a personal essay. There's no excuse for a poorly written profile. And there's plenty of advice to be found online that will help you create something unique and enticing.

Meet GOWiNGiNG, The New Double Dating App

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I'm twenty-quietly-mumbles-a-second-number, so I'm practically bound by law to try out every new app that hits the market. Tinder still seems to be the big one taking the Millennials by storm, but the latest mobile dating experiment to cross my path is GOWiNGiNG, an iOS app that calls itself "the double dating app for everyone."

Ok, I'll bite. Why not?

GOWiNGiNG officially launched in the iTunes store last month, and claims to be the "first mobile/social double-dating app of its kind." I have a hard time believing that, but whatever...I'll go with it. The point is obvious: meet new people without the pressure and awkwardness that usually comes with meeting strangers.

Users can invite their friends to download the app for free and become their WingMen or WingGirls via Facebook or email. If they're more interested in meeting new people (or just don't have any friends), users can also use the app itself to find a WingMan or WingGirl. They can then search for local men or women to take on dates together with their newly-acquired wing. Even those who are already in relationships can take advantage of the app, by using it to find other couples who are looking for double dates.

Here's what the founder, Robert Jaggers, has to say: "I've found that there are so many people who really want to take advantage of dating websites and meetup app technology, but they're a little leery of going out on solo dates with a stranger. That's understandable, and that's why I created GOWiNGiNG. It's a more social, less intimidating and more fun way to date, and it's ideal for anyone who's shy or anyone who just knows they really shine when they have their best friend around."

I can get on board with that. What I can't get on board with is the ridiculous stylization of the name: GOWiNGiNG. Was that awful capitalization really necessary? Does it somehow get the point across better than "GoWinging" would have? I seriously doubt it.

I can't say I find the site much more appealing, either. The cheesy stock photos are not doing it for me, nor is the equally-cheesy logo that looks like it was nabbed directly from a wannabe pickup artist's website.

I hate to judge a book by its cover, because for all I know the app is great, but as an Android user that's all I have to go by at this point. And my hunch is that Grouper and Tandem are doing the group meetup thing way better.

5 Truths About Online Dating

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Dating under any circumstances can be an exhausting proposition, but when you throw an online dating service into the mix it can be totally draining. Fine-tuning your profile, keeping your photos updated, sending and responding to messages, weeding out potential dates from potential axe murderers, awkward first time face-to-face meetups...sure, it's fun, but it also takes a lot out of you.

Dating fatigue is a reality for any dater, but it's especially common for active online daters. Don't let it get you down. To keep online dating feeling fresh, even when it's starting to feel more like a chore than a choice, remember these 5 truths:

  1. You are not alone. Whatever you're going through, I guarantee that plenty of others are going through it too. Everyone, male or female, has had online dating moments that get them down. You are neither the first nor the last to not hear back from someone you were interested in, or to feel like you're only getting messages from people you would never want to date.
  2. Rejection isn't such a bad thing. The more it happens, the more comfortable it becomes. Maybe it will make you realize that great people have been hiding in plain sight. Or maybe it'll teach you a better way to approach dating. Or maybe you'll learn something new about what you actually want and need in a partner. And at worst, you can think of these cheesy words of wisdom: every rejection puts you one step closer to the person you're actually meant to be with.
  3. It's rarely personal. Yes, maybe you sent someone a message and they thought "Ew, I would never date that person!" but it's way more likely that their lack of response had nothing to do with you. They could be sick, traveling, in the middle of a personal crisis, crushing on someone else, recovering from a breakup...the possibilities are endless, and none of them are personal.
  4. You should be honest, but you shouldn't be a jerk about it. I'm always a strong advocate of being honest, but it doesn't have to be the kind of honesty that is prefaced with "brutal." Be diplomatic about it. You can be up-front about not being into someone, but you don't have explain in gory detail why you're not interested. Play nice.
  5. You have nothing to lose. Someone awesome viewed your profile, but didn't contact you. Should you just write them off as uninterested? They might be, but why not send them a message and find out for sure? Maybe they're just shy, or intimidated by your profile, or were too busy at the time to send an email. If you think they're worth knowing, it's definitely worth it to reach out.

Related article: 4 More Truths About Online Dating

2013 Dating Sites Reviews Choice Awards

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2013 is quickly coming to a close and you know what that means! It is time for the Dating Sites Reviews Awards. 😉 Our poll for the Single’s Choice Award just went live and you now can go ahead and vote for the top free and paid dating service (2 poll questions). Of all the awards we give out this one is the most important as it is decided on by you. We have used and reviewed all these dating services but our visitors recommendation is what counts the most.

This year the Single Choice Award for the first question has 8 popular dating sites for you to choose from when selecting your favorite paid service. The second question about your top free site contains 7 options. In the last few years free dating sites have been moving away from earning money by just displaying ads. Most of these “free services” do offer a paid component. To be considered free to us here at Dating Sites Reviews the service must allow a member to be able to create a profile, search for matches and to communicate with other members by email and at no cost to the member. If any of these features are compromised by a pay wall we do not consider them free (no matter how often they use the word on their homepage). If you like you can now go ahead and cast your vote:

This poll is closed for voting.
2013 Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award

1/2: Which PAID dating site would you recommend for the Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award?

Badoo 10.40%
Chemistry 8.04%
Christian Mingle 13.48%
eHarmony 15.37%
How About We 12.53%
Lavalife 8.98% 20.57%
Zoosk 10.64%

The next part of the Dating Sites Reviews Choice Awards is the Editor's Top Picks Awards. The recipients of these 8 awards are determined by the Editor’s. Here is the complete list of categories for the Editor's Top Picks Awards:

  • Top Pick - Overall
  • Top Pick - Innovative
  • Top Pick - Match System
  • Top Pick - Christian
  • Top Pick - Senior
  • Top Pick - Wealthy
  • Top Pick - Sexy
  • Top Pick - Free

For a service to garner an award in one of these categories they must be already reviewed by Dating Sites Reviews. Depending on the category a number of different factors are used to determine the winner for the year. Some of the criteria includes how popular the service is (by total unique visits, number of active monthly members, etc…), how satisfied members are with the results, and what new useful features have been released in the previous year.

This is the seventh year for our awards. Starting in January of 2014 we will start revealing the winners (about 1 a week) and finish up by Valentine’s Day on February 14th. You can take a look at last year's winners by browsing our Dating Site Awards topic or by visiting our Award Winning Dating category.

Related items: Poll - 2013 Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award.