We hear a lot of daters complain about how tough it is to find a boyfriend or girlfriend. Because there are people who casually date over apps, behave badly with each other, or mislead their dates, it’s discouraging to think about finding a serious relationship. Many of us paint men and women in broad brushstrokes – good or bad.

But this is simply not accurate.

Instead of stereotyping someone else as the "bad guy" or falling into old patterns when a date doesn’t work out, or getting discouraged that there are “no good ones out there,” change your perspective. There are ways to tell if a guy is boyfriend material before you get your heart broken:

If there’s one complaint I hear from single women more than any other, it’s “why do I keep meeting the wrong guys?”

Before you completely give up on dating and delete all those dating apps, it’s time to take a step back and do some self-examination. This isn’t meant to be critical, it’s meant to help you take a real look at how your life has been unfolding so far, so that you can make some changes for the better.

I know a lot of women who are very successful in their careers but have had no luck in dating. They are attracted to the unavailable types, whether it’s a married man, a man who is distant or aloof, or a man who can’t seem to get his financial act together enough to be in a real relationship. None of these scenarios is good, but too many women fall back on the wrong relationship with the wrong men because they are afraid of being alone, or worse – never finding someone at all.

You've been told not to judge a book by its cover, but let’s face it: online dating is one big library and you have no intention of reading most of the books. You'll barely spare a glance for the description on the dust jacket.

It doesn’t stop at online dating. You’ve judged professional contacts by their headshots on LinkedIn. You’ve judged your partner’s exes by their Instagram pics. You’ve even judged strangers who disagree with you in the comments section by their chosen profile photos.

Pictures on social networks are users’ opportunity to present themselves and to affect how others judge them, but can a picture tell you anything about who a person really is? Are our judgements accurate?

Getting started with online dating has never been simpler. Where once new users had to fill out lengthy profiles and answer extensive questionnaires, apps like Tinder are increasingly relying on bare-bones profiles and social media integration. Now all a new user has to do to start swiping is sign in with Facebook.

Voila! Your pictures are instantly imported and profile details are already filled out, so you can get straight to what you came for: mindless swiping and superficial judgements of profile pics.

Press pause. Just because you can start dating in 5 minutes doesn’t mean you should. Mastering the art of online dating takes time, effort, and patience (words no one likes to hear in an era of binge watching television and 1-hour Amazon deliveries).

If you want to date with the greatest chance of success, and the lowest likelihood of burnout, you must do these four things before joining a dating app.

When we think of romance, most of us think of scenes from movies or luxurious vacations. What woman doesn’t like getting all dressed up as she waits for her man to take her for a romantic dinner by candlelight, or whisks her away on a weekend getaway near the beach?

While these scenarios are great, they are also expensive, stressful, and a little bit cliché. Instead of impressing your date with how much money you can spend on her or what impressive vacation you can take her on, try thinking a little more creatively. There are plenty of ways to be romantic on a budget, so you don’t put such a dent in your wallet.

Following are some ideas:

It’s no secret that women tend to fare better in online dating than men, at least as far as opportunities. Women receive far more messages and matches compared to their male counterparts, which can be frustrating for guys who are looking for something more serious than a hook up, but can’t seem to get to a match, let alone a first date.

But to be fair, women don’t have an easy time online dating either. They receive many more unsolicited and even offensive messages and texts, including inappropriate photos and abusive or threatening messages, which is why they have to be more selective in who they communicate with.

So, the gap between men and women in online dating has grown even wider, especially with dating apps like Tinder where men can “mass swipe” right on women, hoping to increase their chances of meeting someone special, while women's inboxes are flooded.