Why You Didn’t Hear Back

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You could be the best-looking person on this planet, but I guarantee even you have had this problem at least once: you didn't hear back from someone you were interested in.

It blows, right? You spot the perfect online dating profile, and you think "YES! I barely know anything about this person, but it's obvious we're going to fall in love and get married and be together forever!" [Note: Do not actually have this reaction to people you have never met. It's creepy.]

Then you send a message to them and wait for their gushing response about how great it is that you've finally found each other. But it never comes. And you're left wondering why someone you thought was so perfect doesn't think you're perfect, too.

Buck up. Grab some Ben & Jerry's. And let's settle in for a little life lesson. Here's why they didn't get back to you:

  1. They can't. Many dating sites allow both paid and free members to join, but only allow paying members to view and/or send mail. Don't take it personally if your love interest simply couldn't see or respond to your message.
  2. They're drowning in a sea of messages. If you think a person is awesome, there's a good chance other people also think they're awesome. The cream of the online dating crop is inundated with emails - maybe even triple digits per day - which makes it pretty much impossible to respond to everything. Your message may just have slipped through the cracks.
  3. Your message wasn't up to snuff. Did you include an attention-grabbing subject line? Did you send an obvious cut-and-paste message? Did you ask an interesting question, include a witty joke, make a thoughtful reference to their profile, or otherwise do something that encourages interaction? Take some time to learn what kind of emails get opened and responded to.
  4. Your photos aren't working for you. First of all: do you even have a photo? If you don't, that's the first thing to fix. If you do, do you have more than one? You should. And if you have that under control, evaluate your photo album with a critical eye. Do they actually show you at your best? Do they represent you well? Do they paint you in an interesting light? What stories do they tell?
  5. Your profile is harder to get through than War and Peace. Maybe you have a snooze-fest of a personal essay. There's no excuse for a poorly written profile. And there's plenty of advice to be found online that will help you create something unique and enticing.

Meet GOWiNGiNG, The New Double Dating App

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I'm twenty-quietly-mumbles-a-second-number, so I'm practically bound by law to try out every new app that hits the market. Tinder still seems to be the big one taking the Millennials by storm, but the latest mobile dating experiment to cross my path is GOWiNGiNG, an iOS app that calls itself "the double dating app for everyone."

Ok, I'll bite. Why not?

GOWiNGiNG officially launched in the iTunes store last month, and claims to be the "first mobile/social double-dating app of its kind." I have a hard time believing that, but whatever...I'll go with it. The point is obvious: meet new people without the pressure and awkwardness that usually comes with meeting strangers.

Users can invite their friends to download the app for free and become their WingMen or WingGirls via Facebook or email. If they're more interested in meeting new people (or just don't have any friends), users can also use the app itself to find a WingMan or WingGirl. They can then search for local men or women to take on dates together with their newly-acquired wing. Even those who are already in relationships can take advantage of the app, by using it to find other couples who are looking for double dates.

Here's what the founder, Robert Jaggers, has to say: "I've found that there are so many people who really want to take advantage of dating websites and meetup app technology, but they're a little leery of going out on solo dates with a stranger. That's understandable, and that's why I created GOWiNGiNG. It's a more social, less intimidating and more fun way to date, and it's ideal for anyone who's shy or anyone who just knows they really shine when they have their best friend around."

I can get on board with that. What I can't get on board with is the ridiculous stylization of the name: GOWiNGiNG. Was that awful capitalization really necessary? Does it somehow get the point across better than "GoWinging" would have? I seriously doubt it.

I can't say I find the site much more appealing, either. The cheesy stock photos are not doing it for me, nor is the equally-cheesy logo that looks like it was nabbed directly from a wannabe pickup artist's website.

I hate to judge a book by its cover, because for all I know the app is great, but as an Android user that's all I have to go by at this point. And my hunch is that Grouper and Tandem are doing the group meetup thing way better.

5 Truths About Online Dating

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Dating under any circumstances can be an exhausting proposition, but when you throw an online dating service into the mix it can be totally draining. Fine-tuning your profile, keeping your photos updated, sending and responding to messages, weeding out potential dates from potential axe murderers, awkward first time face-to-face meetups...sure, it's fun, but it also takes a lot out of you.

Dating fatigue is a reality for any dater, but it's especially common for active online daters. Don't let it get you down. To keep online dating feeling fresh, even when it's starting to feel more like a chore than a choice, remember these 5 truths:

  1. You are not alone. Whatever you're going through, I guarantee that plenty of others are going through it too. Everyone, male or female, has had online dating moments that get them down. You are neither the first nor the last to not hear back from someone you were interested in, or to feel like you're only getting messages from people you would never want to date.
  2. Rejection isn't such a bad thing. The more it happens, the more comfortable it becomes. Maybe it will make you realize that great people have been hiding in plain sight. Or maybe it'll teach you a better way to approach dating. Or maybe you'll learn something new about what you actually want and need in a partner. And at worst, you can think of these cheesy words of wisdom: every rejection puts you one step closer to the person you're actually meant to be with.
  3. It's rarely personal. Yes, maybe you sent someone a message and they thought "Ew, I would never date that person!" but it's way more likely that their lack of response had nothing to do with you. They could be sick, traveling, in the middle of a personal crisis, crushing on someone else, recovering from a breakup...the possibilities are endless, and none of them are personal.
  4. You should be honest, but you shouldn't be a jerk about it. I'm always a strong advocate of being honest, but it doesn't have to be the kind of honesty that is prefaced with "brutal." Be diplomatic about it. You can be up-front about not being into someone, but you don't have explain in gory detail why you're not interested. Play nice.
  5. You have nothing to lose. Someone awesome viewed your profile, but didn't contact you. Should you just write them off as uninterested? They might be, but why not send them a message and find out for sure? Maybe they're just shy, or intimidated by your profile, or were too busy at the time to send an email. If you think they're worth knowing, it's definitely worth it to reach out.

Related article: 4 More Truths About Online Dating

2013 Dating Sites Reviews Choice Awards

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2013 is quickly coming to a close and you know what that means! It is time for the Dating Sites Reviews Awards. 😉 Our poll for the Single’s Choice Award just went live and you now can go ahead and vote for the top free and paid dating service (2 poll questions). Of all the awards we give out this one is the most important as it is decided on by you. We have used and reviewed all these dating services but our visitors recommendation is what counts the most.

This year the Single Choice Award for the first question has 8 popular dating sites for you to choose from when selecting your favorite paid service. The second question about your top free site contains 7 options. In the last few years free dating sites have been moving away from earning money by just displaying ads. Most of these “free services” do offer a paid component. To be considered free to us here at Dating Sites Reviews the service must allow a member to be able to create a profile, search for matches and to communicate with other members by email and at no cost to the member. If any of these features are compromised by a pay wall we do not consider them free (no matter how often they use the word on their homepage). If you like you can now go ahead and cast your vote:

This poll is closed for voting.
2013 Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award

1/2: Which PAID dating site would you recommend for the Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award?

Badoo 10.40%
Chemistry 8.04%
Christian Mingle 13.48%
eHarmony 15.37%
How About We 12.53%
Lavalife 8.98%
Match.com 20.57%
Zoosk 10.64%

The next part of the Dating Sites Reviews Choice Awards is the Editor's Top Picks Awards. The recipients of these 8 awards are determined by the Editor’s. Here is the complete list of categories for the Editor's Top Picks Awards:

  • Top Pick - Overall
  • Top Pick - Innovative
  • Top Pick - Match System
  • Top Pick - Christian
  • Top Pick - Senior
  • Top Pick - Wealthy
  • Top Pick - Sexy
  • Top Pick - Free

For a service to garner an award in one of these categories they must be already reviewed by Dating Sites Reviews. Depending on the category a number of different factors are used to determine the winner for the year. Some of the criteria includes how popular the service is (by total unique visits, number of active monthly members, etc…), how satisfied members are with the results, and what new useful features have been released in the previous year.

This is the seventh year for our awards. Starting in January of 2014 we will start revealing the winners (about 1 a week) and finish up by Valentine’s Day on February 14th. You can take a look at last year's winners by browsing our Dating Site Awards topic or by visiting our Award Winning Dating category.

Related items: Poll - 2013 Dating Sites Reviews Single's Choice Award.

Most People are in the Dark About What Caused Their Break-Up

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Have you ever wondered why most people break up? Cheating seems a likely (and most would say justifiable) reason, but what about arguing over finances, or simply falling out of love?

According to a recent poll conducted by DatingSitesReviews.com, it turns out most of us don't even know why our previous relationship ended. Out of 284 voters, almost 23 percent claimed they had no idea what caused the break-up. This came in ahead of the 20.7% who claimed that their relationships ended because their partner cheated (along with 1.4% who claimed they were the ones cheating). And almost 20% said that they just "fell out of love."

Surprisingly, money didn't factor in to many causes of break-ups among readers, nor did work-related issues. In fact, they were the least popular reasons for breaking up (each about 2.5%).

It seems most of the people surveyed are still in the dark about their previous relationship and what caused it to end. This would indicate that they are still seeking closure, and that they haven't been able to obtain that from a partner.

Break-ups can leave us devastated and confused, especially when we are the ones left, and we didn't really see it coming. But maybe there were some red flags along the way that you didn't notice. Did he noticeably pull away, or was he always busy at work and not so available? Or did he shy away from having serious conversations about where your relationship was headed? Or did he just disappear and stop calling altogether?

You might never know what happened between you, and that's okay. What's more important is your ability to deal with your pain and grief over the relationship and move on to a healthier one in the future.

If you have dealt with infidelity, whether your partner cheated or you did the cheating, it's also important to note what circumstances led to it. Was there a lapse in communication? Was there a lot of jealousy? Were you happy in your relationship or was there something missing? The more honest you can be in identifying the problems that were already there, or even how your partner treated you, the more likely you'll avoid the same pattern of cheating in the future.

Causes of break-ups in the poll were as follows:

Causes of Relationship Breakups

1/1: Why did your previous relationship end?

I have never been in a relationship 6.34%
He or she was unfaithful 20.77%
I was unfaithful 1.41%
Amicable separation 5.99%
Drifted apart / Fell out of Love 19.72%
Fought about money 2.46%
Work kept us apart 2.46%
Irreconcilable differences 17.96%
Not sure of the cause 22.89%

The poll was taken by readers of DatingSitesReviews.com.

Fall in Love with eHarmony Free Communication

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We Just got word that eHarmony in Canada and the United States will be having a free communication weekend starting Thursday, September 26th and ending Sunday night on September 29th. This 4 day event allows members to create a profile, view your matches, and communicate with those matches through the guided communication process and email.

Summer is almost over and with the season change comes new optimism for love. This makes it an ideal time for new singles interested in trying online dating to check out a popular service for free. eHarmony is designed to foster long-term relationships between it's members. They do this by having carefully chosen profile questions that are based on 29 dimensions of compatibility. While there are a lot of questions which take the average person about 40 minutes to answer it is recommended you take your time and answer each question to the best of your ability. The answers to these questions are then used by eHarmony's super secret 😊 matching algorithm to generate you a list of high quality matches. Once you review your matches your job is to then select the ones you like on a personal level and then start the communication process with them. Free communication at eHarmony during this event does not include photos in profiles, secure calls over your phone, or skipping the guided communication process.

For more detailed information on eHarmony you can read our review. The last free eHarmony communication weekend was the September long weekend (see Story).