Why You Keep Meeting the Wrong Guys

If there’s one complaint I hear from single women more than any other, it’s “why do I keep meeting the wrong guys?”

Before you completely give up on dating and delete all those dating apps, it’s time to take a step back and do some self-examination. This isn’t meant to be critical, it’s meant to help you take a real look at how your life has been unfolding so far, so that you can make some changes for the better.

I know a lot of women who are very successful in their careers but have had no luck in dating. They are attracted to the unavailable types, whether it’s a married man, a man who is distant or aloof, or a man who can’t seem to get his financial act together enough to be in a real relationship. None of these scenarios is good, but too many women fall back on the wrong relationship with the wrong men because they are afraid of being alone, or worse – never finding someone at all.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. Love is out there for all of us. The key to finding it is having enough self-love to see the kindness and love in others.

Are you distrusting of people, and of men in particular? Did your last boyfriend cheat on you? Are you weary of trying to love someone because you’ll only be hurt again? These are destructive thoughts that keep you beholden to the exact kind of guys you don’t want – the ones who make sure these scenarios are carried out.

Instead, we have to develop a fresh perspective on dating and what is possible, and we have to start changing our behavior. While you might only want to go for the guys with whom you have immediate chemistry, or the ones who seem the most familiar in terms of your “type,” the kind of guys who would make good boyfriends usually aren’t the “love at first sight type.”

Here’s what a nice, kind, loving relationship looks like: there is mutual respect, kindness, compassion, honesty and yes – fun. And there are guys out there who embody all of these qualities, and you can find them.

But here’s what you need to do first: you need to cultivate these traits within you, and for you. What I mean by that is, instead of getting mad or frustrated with yourself because you haven’t found the right guy, try instead to forgive yourself. Treat yourself like you would a best friend, with loving compassion. Tell yourself that you have made mistakes, but this doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of love. You have love, compassion, kindness, honesty and fun to give someone else.

When you cultivate in yourself that which you want, you are more likely to attract it to you. When you are kinder and more loving to yourself, you will find men who are more kind and loving to you.