Single Man, Married Man – a new book written by a group of men specifically for single women – proclaims to offer brutally honest advice for women who are looking to get hitched.

The book has outraged many feminists, and for good reason. Some of the advice offered in the book includes this as fact: “all men” want to get married – if they tell you otherwise, they are “lying.” Another piece of advice from one of the book’s single authors: “No matter where a woman is in life, she should always be able to cater to her man’s needs.” A divorced co-author advises that when a man gets his ego stroked, he will be more inclined to love you.

The book also offers reasons why a man you are dating isn’t taking the relationship to the next level – namely, that it’s your fault. One author writes: “It takes a lot to hold their attention, and men tend to lose interest in romantic partners when they stop being, well... interesting.”

In other words, women need to start giving more massages, complaining less, and stroking their guys’ egos a lot more often. Then they will more likely convince their men to put a ring on it. (Speaking of Beyonce, one of the writers even suggests keeping Destiny’s Child’s “Cater 2 U” on repeat on your playlist).

The book is certainly gaining a lot of attention in the press because of its apparent sexism, and its authors maintain that it is “brutally honest” because they want to help women. Two of the main authors spent three years interviewing more than 300 men online and in person to arrive at their conclusions, so they stand by them.

So what does this mean? Should women take a step back and consider catering more to the men in their lives? Or should the guys who authored this book admit that creating a controversial book would help them sell more copies?

The truth is, no matter how many people you interview, or how much research you do, or how many coaching sessions you conduct, dating is still mysterious and fickle for everyone. Some tactics work with some people, others don’t. Some people have chemistry together, others don’t. You can’t force a relationship to move forward if that’s not what it is meant to do. There are no tricks. Dating is much more nuanced and individual. Blanket advice of how each gender should behave doesn’t really move the conversation – or the dating scene itself - forward.

So as much as we take dating advice from many sources, we should also be discerning. If something doesn’t feel right to you, pay attention. If you’re working too hard to try and “make things work” with your current love, maybe it is time to let go. To find out more about the book "Single Man, Married Man" you can check out the authors website.

Story time: I once knew a couple with an elaborate story about how they met in a bar in New York City's East Village. Except none of it was true. They had actually met on a dating site, but were too embarrassed to tell people – even most of their friends – that they'd met online.

It always baffled me. Are we really still having this discussion? How is it possible that the infamous online dating stigma is still clinging to life?

Despite the fact that most people have tried online dating and/or know someone who did, it appears there's still something of a dark cloud hovering over it. And it's ridiculous. It's time for a big wind to blow through and send that cloud packing.

Thing is... you're the wind. We all are. That cloud isn't going anywhere until we take a stand and send it on its way. The next time someone asks where you met your partner or whether you've ever tried a dating service, it's your responsibility to be honest. Here's why:

• Because you did. Let's just start with the most obvious reason, ok? You did it. Own up to it like the adult you are. The only reason you should ever need to be honest about something is because it's true.
• Because it shouldn't matter what other people think. Why devote time to worrying about what your co-worker thinks when you could spend that time being in love with your awesome partner? Hello, priorities. Own who you are and own your decisions.
• Because everyone is doing it. Maybe they aren't all being upfront about it, but they're all doing it. They've at least tried it, when they were drunk and curiosity got the better of them. If it's everyone's deep dark secret, it really shouldn't be anyone's deep dark secret. We all have a responsibility to get over our embarrassment.
• Because there are way more embarrassing ways to meet. Meeting online is a smart, sane option in 2015. There are way crazier, way stupider, way more embarrassing ways you could have met your partner. I won't specify, but I'm sure your imagination can fill in the blanks with some pretty deranged stuff.
• Because all you need is love. By which I mean, you have found someone amazing and you love them – that is the most important part of the story. What could possibly trump that? Almost anything flies (even most of the stuff you came up with for the last point) when the end result is people in love.

Cloud, your days are numbered.

A recent article in the Boston Globe discussed the disappointing journey of online dating. Many single people start the New Year off by setting an intention to find a partner – so they sign up with an online dating site. And after a few weeks or even months of effort, they are exhausted and ready to throw in the towel on dating altogether.

In other words, they are burned out from dating.

If you’ve ever done online dating, you will know what dating burnout means. Often, when you sign up with a new dating website or download a new app, your expectations can be high that this time it will be different. This time you can meet someone special. But then, after a few bad experiences or lack of chemistry or matches, it’s easy to become frustrated and think that online dating will never work.

Online dating is tough if you aren’t finding the right person, but should you always point your finger in blame when things don’t work out? There are more singles than ever in the U.S. – roughly 50% of all adults, so it’s not that there are “no good ones left.” But if you are experiencing dating burnout, it is hard not to believe it.

It’s important to look past all the bad experiences, and try to start each date on a clean slate. This isn’t wishful thinking, it’s what is required if you want to move from a negative place to a more positive place – because the first rule of dating is that you attract people of the same attitude to you. How can real chemistry happen if you aren’t willing to approach a new date with fresh eyes, even after a hundred bad dates?

I’m not saying dating is easy – far from it. But nothing in life worth having is easy. Nothing really valuable comes because we can order it off a menu, or a dating app. Instead, it comes from the work we put in. It comes from our mistakes, which help us to learn what works and what doesn’t.

If you want a true partner, it might happen through online dating, and it might not – but you have to be ready to wipe the slate clean each time you meet someone new.

So online dating isn’t the problem. If you want your dating life to change, you first have to examine yourself and see where you might be holding back from others, or how much you might be judging. Not everyone is going to be Mr./Ms. Right, but you will have a better time when you let go of what you can’t control (other people) and take control of what you can (you).

Peace and love for 2015! 

With over 29 million members, a buzzed-about blog, a #1 dating app, and more than 14 million followers across the social sphere, it's safe to say Zoosk knows a thing or two about online dating.

Using their dating expertise and data gathered from studying nearly 4 million messages and 430,000 profiles, the gurus at Zoosk curated the hottest trends of 2014 and made a few predictions for the new year.

Which online dating trends left us lonely in 2014 and which ones got us (digitally) hot and bothered? What does 2015 have in store? Check out Zoosk's infographic here, and some highlights below.

Messaging

In 2014, singles were least responsive between 2pm and 3pm, presumably because they were either deeply entrenched in work or snoozing off a post-lunch food coma. Men were most active in the morning, between the hours of 9 and 10am. Women, on the other hand, were night owls. The majority of their interactions occurred between 10 and 11pm.

Prediction: Moving into 2015, Zoosk predicts that our 'always on' culture will result in instant interactions all day, every day.

Photos

2014 saw a bunch of trends where photos were concerned. For men, outdoor photos increased messages received by 19% while selfies decreased messages received by 8%. For women, the trend was reversed – selfies increased messages received by 4%, while outdoor photos decreased messages received by 40%. For both men and women, posing with a friend or animal proved problematic, but full body photos increased messages by a whopping 203%!

Prediction: Duck face and bathroom selfies are out, along with mirror photos. Enlist a friend to take your full body shot instead.

Profiles

Honesty reigned supreme for men in 2014. Profiles that included “divorce,” “separate” or “my ex” received 52% more messages. On the other hand, sharing too much too soon scared off potential dates for women. Profile mentions of “divorce,” “separate” or “my ex” received 4% fewer messages.

Prediction: Zoosk predicts we'll all be over surprises in 2015. More and more daters will rely on technology to verify user authenticity.

Technology

Traditionally, online dating has rested on a foundation of surveys. Some are longer than others, but the end goal is always the same: categorize daters based on (possibly meaningless) questions. 2014 was no exception to the trend.

Prediction: Online dating will be about the opposite of “Do what I say, not what I do” in 2015. Instead of relying on your self-reported answers, dating services will increasingly learn your preferences based on your actions.

If you are among the 150,000 Tinder users in Ireland, your chances of finding a match are only one in a hundred - or about 1% - according to a new study.

Researchers for Ipsos MRBI, who surveyed people living in Ireland who say they use Tinder, discovered that dating app users’ chances for finding someone they click with are not that much greater than randomly meeting people at bars and pubs. In fact, the odds may be less favorable with apps, likely because there is the perception of browsing through a seemingly infinite number of eligible singles each time you log on to the app, making commitment seem unappealing. The more choices you have, the less willing you become to settle for just one person.

There is an addictive quality to apps like Tinder, according to its own figures. The average Tinder user spends between an hour and 90 minutes using the app every day, logging in 11 times. There are also an estimated 50 million active users of Tinder, compared to 864 million active Facebook users and 300 million active Twitter users – proving that the dating app has as much power to hold users’ attention as the major social media platforms.

Part of the reason for its low percentage of matches might be Tinder’s demographic, at least in Ireland - preferred mainly among fickle twenty-somethings who log on to the app several times a day. Only 12% of Irish Tinder users are between ages 35 and 44, and for those between 45 and 54, the number goes down to 3%.

Men are also less picky than women when it comes to saying yes to a dating app match. According to the study, they are three times more likely (46%) to swipe “like” on a woman’s profile whereas only 14% of women say yes to a man’s profile. The study also shows however that women invest a little more thought and time - women spend 8.5 minutes reading profiles on Tinder each time they log in, compared to a man’s 7.2 minutes (which are spent swiping).

So what does this mean for daters? The U.K. might not be much different from Tinder users all over the world. There is an accessibility and ease to the app, which has made it extremely popular and given its users a lot of options when it comes to meeting new people. But just like flipping through magazine pictures, sometimes it’s easier to just look at more photos than to reach out and contact someone, even if you find them intriguing. The real test is – can Tinder translate to real-world relationships?

Maybe your chances are about the same on Tinder as they are at your local bar. But until you reach out to try and meet in real life, you won’t know.

You think I'm insane, right?

There's no possible way there could be one day that's better for online dating than all the others. That's just crazy.

Except it isn't crazy. It's a real thing.

Online dating is there for you all year round, but there's one window of time each year that's more active than any other. Match.com and Plenty of Fish – two of the biggest dating companies in the game, so rest assured they know what they're talking about – say that the single most popular day for online dating is (drumroll please):

January 4.

And it gets even more impressive than that. They've even narrowed it down to an exact time period. (Are they sorcerers over there?) Roughly 5pm to 8pm are the magic hours in which the largest number of people sign up, log on, and start searching for online love. If you're still skeptical, Zoosk backs the estimated timeframe up. In 2014, its most trafficked time was the Sunday after New Year's.

Across the board, online dating sites see a huge boost in action between New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day. And it's not hard to imagine why. There's an obvious seasonal sentimentality that takes over during that time, and its natural manifestation in the techno-obsessed 21^st century is online dating.

Although the exact reason is unclear, we can easily speculate. The new year is a time for a fresh start, for new goals, for making positive changes. For many people, those things mean a renewed focus on finding love – and what better way to kick your love life into gear than joining an online dating site?

On the other hand, the holiday season is a notoriously lonely time, and that could also explain why online dating sites see a serious boost in action. Hitting a low point could be the motivator needed to finally try out online dating after all.

Interestingly, it's not just online dating that feels the effects of the holidays. The Washington Post reports that researchers have also observed a post-holiday spike in searches for porn, and that “a 2012 study by Facebook’s data team found that people are far more likely to change their relationship status in January or February than they are at any other time of year.”

And lest you think this is merely an online phenomenon, a study also found that “the holiday season tends to see a jump in both condom sales and conceptions.”

So what are you waiting for? The time is NOW.