What Happens When Women Agree With Compliments Men Give Them Online?

Communication
  • Friday, June 05 2015 @ 10:26 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,731

If you've spent any amount of time using dating sites or apps, you've come across this issue: the one-line compliment intro. “You're amazing.” “You're beautiful.” “Ur so hot.”

You've either received these messages, sent these messages, or read dating advice that warns against them. They're not the worst opening lines – it gets far stranger and more graphic – but they're hardly the most inspiring.

So what's a woman to do when she receives one? If you're Claire Boniface, a 20-year-old college student, you simply start agreeing.

She posted on Tumblr that she's “doing a social experiment” she simply calls “agreeing with boys when they compliment you.” Instead of expressing gratitude when she received praise, she politely agreed with the sentiments. You can probably guess how it's been going.

Responses are often negative, with men retracting their original compliments. Boniface told The Huffington Post she thinks the negative reactions have "a lot to do with how some men believe that they have the power to tell women what they are, without considering that women have already acknowledged this themselves."

"They don't know what to do when a woman isn't grateful for their comments and so they take away the compliment as if this will change anything," she added.

Gweneth Batemen, an 18-year-old from the UK, shared Boniface's Tumblr post on Twitter and encouraged her followers to consider what it says about the way women are treated on the internet. She began responding to complimentary messages in a similar fashion, and also received hostile results.

"Many responses state how 'vain' and 'conceited' I was for agreeing with their compliment which I found baffling," Bateman said. "Why give me the compliment in the first place if you didn't want me to believe it?”

Even though Batemen attempted to continue the conversations – either by asking how the other person was doing or even by returning the compliment – she still received belligerent replies.

She speculates that some men feel women should base their self-worth off the opinions of the opposite sex, so “as soon as a woman realizes that she's awesome without their help they get incredibly angry."

On Tumblr, 22-year-old student Katie Smith added: “For many men, beauty, coolness, [and] desirability are gifts they alone can bestow upon women. They get baffled, even aggressive when you show you’ve known you possess those things all along.”

It's ok for women to doubt compliments they receive, but they're considered rude or vain when they actually believe what they're told. Anyone else see something wrong with this? Experiments like these won't fix the issue, but spreading awareness is a step in the right direction.

Hilary Duff May be Making a Tinder Dating Reality Show

TV Shows
  • Thursday, June 04 2015 @ 06:56 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,408

Single celebrities have not been shy to admit that they are on Tinder. Stars like Lindsay Lohan, Chris Pine, former Miss USA Nana Meriwether and Mindy Kaling have all been spotted on the popular dating app. The latest celebrity to check it out is recently divorced single mom Hilary Duff.

Duff shared her fascination with Tinder on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show, admitting that she wasn’t sure what to make of the dating app at first, but she told her girlfriends after helping them swipe left and right on a few of their matches, she wanted to join. They protested, but Duff insisted it would be fun.

Turns out, it has been fun for her – she was recently spotted on a date in a bowling alley, and later in the week getting pizza with the same guy. Apparently, a man she met on Tinder.

Rumors are swirling that she signed up with Tinder to film a new dating reality show, one that follows her around on her various Tinder dates. According to The Daily Mail, film cameras were present when Hilary and her date went to dinner, but the crew left when they went to a bar.

Hilary went into some detail about her date on Seacrest’s show. “We went bowling so we didn't have to talk too much, but we did talk a lot actually,” she said. “He was cool. He brought a friend and I had some friends there. He used to be in editing for reality shows. Now, he's an actor and he just wrote a play. He's an interesting guy. To be honest, I don't really want an actor either … I think he has a few jobs.”

'I'm just a Tinder animal!' she joked. 'I had my Tinder training wheels on for my first date. Now it's smooth sailing.'

Duff’s latest project is a co-starring role in the series “Younger” alongside Broadway star Sutton Foster, where she plays friend and co-worker to Foster who is trying to pass herself off as 26 to keep her job. Duff hasn’t announced whether there is a dating reality show project in the works.

Duff assured Seacrest during her interview that whoever she dates has to be accepted by her son Luca, who she described as a “Mama’s boy.”

According to TMZ, she has swiped right on 9 guys so far since she joined a few weeks ago. Now we just have to wait for the show to launch.

Adult Dating Website Latest Target for Hackers

Adult FriendFinder
  • Wednesday, June 03 2015 @ 06:42 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,754

The hacking of large company databases for personal and compromising information is on the rise. First it was giant retailer Target, then entertainment studio Sony, followed by a few of the major insurance companies - and it has been reported that as many as 200 companies have been hacked in the last few years, its victims their own customers and employees.

But this week, in perhaps the most personal of the recent data hacks, dating website Adult Friend Finder (a service for those looking for casual friendships and sexual hook-ups), has announced that its customer data has also been breached.

Channel 4 News in the UK has reported that the personal information of 3.9 million of AdultFriendFinder.com’s members was discovered in an online forum for hackers, including users’ sexual preferences, e-mail addresses, dates of birth and, in some cases, whether they were looking to cheat on their spouses. The company has notified law enforcement agencies, but said that no financial or password information seems to have been stolen.

AdultFriendFinder is different from traditional dating sites in that the information people provide is much more personal. When a user signs up, the services asks him/ her to detail his interests and, based on those criteria, matches people for sexual encounters. The site, which boasts 64 million members, claims to have "helped millions of people find traditional partners, swinger groups, threesomes, and a variety of other alternative partners."

So customers who joined the website to anonymously post their sexual preferences for hook-ups might now face being exposed to family members, co-workers, bosses, and even spouses or partners, compromising their personal lives.

One controversial hacker took advantage of the now-exposed data to identify over Twitter and personally name four different men who were using the dating site – including one who was married. Because the data is now accessible to anyone, many more people could be publicly shamed as a result.

According to CNN Money: “The breach was carried out by a hacker who goes by the moniker ROR[RG]. In an online hacker forum, he said he blackmailed Adult FriendFinder, telling the site he would expose the data online unless the company paid him $100,000.”

"Until the investigation is completed, it will be difficult to determine with certainty the full scope of the incident, but we will continue to work vigilantly to address this potential issue and will provide updates as we learn more from our investigation," FriendFinder's statement said.

According to The Wall Street Journal, researchers noted that as awareness of the breach spread on Friday May 22nd, more copies of the files were appearing online, meaning more people potentially had access to the data.

China Shuts Down Over 120 Dating Websites For Violations

China
  • Tuesday, June 02 2015 @ 06:44 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,302

Dating in China just got a whole lot harder. The country's internet regulator, the Cyberspace Administration of China, has closed down 128 online dating sites suspected of violating regulations and supplying false information.

The websites were shut down for a lengthy list of allegations, including organized prostitution, disseminating pornographic images, promoting vulgar content, allowing user information to be distributed illegally, and not having complete sets of registration records.

This crackdown comes after the CAC joined forces with several government agencies – including the Ministry of Public Security, the All-China Women's Federation, and the Ministry of Civil Affairs – to conduct a clean-up operation. The offensive began in February, driven primarily by tips from the public. Users are still encouraged to report illegal websites through hotlines, e-mail or mobile apps.

"The operation has achieved a good result. It acted as a deterrent to violators and also had positive impact on the industry's development," said the CAC in a statement. With the way paved, the plan is to create guidelines to ensure dating sites provide fair and honest service.

Other dating services have expressed support, saying the new policies will be good for the industry's long-term development. Wu Linguang, CEO of leading Chinese dating site Jiayuan.com, has come out in favor. The CEOs of Baihe.com and Youyuan.com have also both expressed support for the campaign.

Aside from targeting prostitution and fraudulent practices by service providers, the CAC's crusade tackled the issue of authenticity. Some services were accused of failing to enforce controversial 2012 regulations requiring users to give their real names and national identification numbers upon registration. These sites have been asked to enforce real-name registration to protect users against dishonesty and scammers.

Some believe these are advantageous moves that will help maintain a fair and competitive online market, and improve legal consciousness. Others are less convinced by the ostensible motives.

Chinese internet users have poked fun at the crackdown and questioned its intentions. Critics claim campaigns purporting to safeguard moral standards and related laws are merely a pretext for political censorship.

This is not the first time China has made such a bold move. Last year, in a similar effort to stamp out prostitution and pornography, the country closed nearly 1.8 million social networking and instant messaging accounts.

Not the first time, and likely not the last.

Zoosk May Be Down, But It's Not Out

Zoosk
  • Monday, June 01 2015 @ 06:42 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,748

It's been a year of bumps and bruises for Zoosk.

After reaching 26 million users in 2014, the online dating network announced plans for a $100 million IPO. It was major news, but now Zoosk has submitted a regulatory filing to withdraw its plan to go public.

In an email to VentureBeat, Zoosk chief executive Kelly Steckelberg offered the following explanation:

“Since the time we filed, the market condition around comparables that would be used to help value our company, like Angie’s List and Care.com, have not performed well. While the overall market might seem receptive to a public offering, subscription businesses have suffered.”

The canceled IPO isn't the only wound Zoosk has suffered recently. The company's founders, Shayan Zadeh and Alex Mehr, abruptly handed over executive control to former CFO Steckelberg at the end of 2014, leaving some to wonder what happens when a founder-led company loses its founders.

In the wake of those major developments, Zoosk implemented a new strategy focused on its customer base and on attracting fresh talent behind the scenes. The company reduced its workforce by approximately 15 percent to better align with its new strategy, leaving morale at an all-time low. The company was in desperate need of reevaluation.

Vice President of Marketing, Carol Mahoney, worked with a team of 3 human resources professionals to identify four areas of improvement. First, to serve customers better. Second, to boost engagement of employees. Third, to get clear on the company's vision and mission. Fourth, to achieve sustainable growth.

According to CIO.com, Mahoney found that transparency was a key issue. Employees were desperate to know what was happening in the midst of such upheaval and sought open communication from top-level executives.

"We realized we had to over-communicate about everything that was happening to make sure people knew we cared about their fears and their anxieties,” Mahoney says. “Now, we talk about our profits, our subscription base, hiring, attrition -- everything. People need to trust that we're honest about the ups and downs of the business if they're going to stay.”

Zoosk also highlights company culture to set it apart from the fierce competition in its native San Francisco. Dogs are allowed in the office. Weekly happy hours are hosted with beer on tap. Employees are encouraged to volunteer in the city's most disadvantaged areas. Three-day hackathons are held to develop new ideas.

Although Mahoney says there's still work do be done, she's feeling positive about the future. “We've made huge strides and we're going to be stronger than ever because of the emphasis we've placed on retaining our talent," she says.

Will Grindr Soon Be Up For Sale?

Grindr
  • Friday, May 29 2015 @ 06:37 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,740

Infamous hookup app Grindr may quietly be looking for a hookup of its own: a hookup with a buyer.

Word on the street is that the LA-based company has hired Raine Group LLC to advise on a possible sale. Bloomberg reports that “the sale process is early and no deal is assured,” so for the moment Grindr is keeping details under wraps.

Joel Simkhai founded Grindr in 2009 with $5,000. Since then, the explosively popular app has gained more than 5 million users in 192 countries. It claims to be the biggest male mobile social network in the world, and has become a bona fide pop culture phenomenon.

Oddly, despite its meteoric rise to the top of the gay dating app heap, Grindr remains self-funded with no outside investors. Revenue comes from a premium subscription service called Grindr Xtra, a paid upgrade that offers increased functionality and eliminates advertising for $12 per month.

In 2011 Simkhai launched Blendr, a dating app for both men and women that uses similar geolocation technology. So far it has yet to soar to the heights reached by its predecessor.

The problems Grindr and Blendr currently face are not unique. The dating industry is massive and cutthroat. Research by IBISWorld found 3,924 dating services in the US alone, which add up to revenue of about $2 billion. Competition is in ample supply, and it isn't easy for paid services to go head-to-head with free options.

The business model itself offers a special set of challenges. Dating services struggle to retain customers and sustain revenue growth for an amusingly obvious reason: because ideal use of the service means no more need of it. A success story ends in finding love, settling down, and never needing to date again.

A short-term solution to the problem, at least for Simkhai himself, is a sale. IAC (InterActiveCorp) could perhaps be a likely buyer, as it controls the majority of the online dating market in America through ownership in platforms like Tinder, OKCupid, and Match.com. Grindr would be a powerful addition to IAC's already-powerful lineup.

It is not known how – or even if – a sale would impact users, but it's probably safe to assume drastic changes aren't on the way for an app that's already had so much success. Although with more money and muscle behind it, who knows how much growth could be in store for Grindr?

Page navigation