Types (Niche)

There’s no doubt about it: online dating has become even more popular, and at the same time, more frustrating than ever. Believe it or not, there is a correlation between the two.

Dating apps work very similarly to a game. You swipe left and right, amassing lots of matches to your dating bank account, and feeling great. More people, more possibilities. But in reality – how many of your matches are you actually going out with? How many send you messages, and how many respond to yours? Unfortunately, more often than not, the numbers are low. (Or worse – female daters tend to be the recipients of unwanted and aggressive texts.)

So what do we do with this information? Do we declare this to be "the end of dating" along with The New York Times? Do we delete those apps from our phones, as one writer for website Bustle has declared she will do?

You do have the option to drop out of online dating altogether, but I would argue for keeping it a part of how you meet people to date. Dating apps are here to stay, so it's time to embrace them. But we also need to learn how to date - in real life.

The problem doesn't lie with dating apps per se - technology in general is changing how we behave and interact. People are spending more time updating and commenting on their social media accounts than they are having actual conversations or meeting up with people IRL. Take a look at any bar or restaurant, and inevitably you see a group of people at a table, and none of them are talking to each other – they are staring at their phones.

There is an element of social anxiety that comes along with dating, but our phones are giving us an easy way out, rather than learning to overcome this anxiety. It’s much easier to drop a conversation online than try to think of something witty to say. And the thought of making small talk on a first date for half an hour can terrify many young daters who have grown accustomed to safely hiding behind their phones.

Instead of complaining about the technology, it’s time to do something about what we would like to see in the dating world. Ask someone out on a real date. Pick up the phone and have a conversation, don’t just text until one of you drops off. And if you don’t get a response? On to the next.

Most people want to find a connection to someone else. Online dating provides a way to meet people, not a way to actually date them. Instead, the search for connection is totally left up to us – a scary thought. (Why can’t we just blame the dating apps for peoples’ behavior?)

If you want your online dating experience to change, you first need to change your own approach to it. Don’t endlessly swipe. Talk to more people over the phone or in person. Look them in the eye when you are having a conversation. Don’t become distracted by your phone, or lean on it like a crutch when you get bored. Learn the art of making conversation, of flirting. Practice it!

There’s no shame in asking someone out, and to follow through and go on a real date. In fact, it’s the only thing that will lead to a real-life relationship.

Ashley Madison, the notorious dating website for married people, has been immersed in scandal since the company’s database was hacked a few months back. First, the hackers threatened to reveal users of the site, and then, it was discovered that most of the 5 million women registered on the site (a fraction of the number of men registered on the site) were actually linked to fake email addresses set up by employees of the website.

Now another potentially damaging piece of information has been uncovered by The Toronto Sun. Apparently, Ashley Madison’s parent company Avid Life Media, which owns several other dubious dating sites such as Cougar Life, The Big and the Beautiful, and Established Men, have been hiring attractive women to pose as founders of these dating sites.

According to the report in The Toronto Sun, Avid Life Media was trying to work the best PR angles possible to attract attention to these sites, a strategy that worked with Ashley Madison. Simply by trying to purchase ad space in a mainstream publication or even airtime during the Super Bowl, Ashley Madison received a lot of media attention – notably because they were refused the ad space/ time. However, new angles had to be thought out for the other Avid Life sites, including Cougar Life.

Cougar Life was repped by Claudia Opdenkelder, a beautiful spokesperson who portrayed herself to be the founder of the dating site which matched older women with younger men. "Why shouldn’t older women have younger men to love, just as older men can pursue younger women?" she campaigned to such outlets as The Globe and Mail and New York Times. She managed to generate a lot of coverage for the dating site.

The Big and the Beautiful followed suit by hiring plus-size America’s Next Top Model winner Whitney Thompson, who claimed to have founded the dating site, which caters to men looking for plus-sized women. Simone Dadoun-Cohen represented herself as the founder of Established Men, a site aimed at wealthy men who are looking for some arm candy – much like dating site SugarDaddy.com. Dadoun-Cohen claimed to be stripping to put herself through college before she met her wealthy boyfriend, hence the idea for the app. However, this turned out to be a made-up story.

The information was leaked from hackers of the Ashley Madison site, who also managed to get their hands on emails between former Avid Life CEO Noel Biderman, who stepped down after the hacking incident, and former media relations manager Shari Cogan. In the emails, the two discussed plans of what they would do about a potentially damaging segment about Cougar Life on ABC’s Nightline. “I don’t want this turning in to a witch hunt,” Biderman wrote. “We don’t want the site and Claudia to look like ‘frauds.'”

As of now, the three women who posed as the websites’ CEOs are no longer employed by Avid Life Media. Opdenkelder settled a lawsuit she brought against the company.

It must be noted that journalists went along with the stories of the CEOs without fact-checking, just taking their sources’ word for it – in this case, the PR staff of Avid Life Media. It seems the story made for better headlines than the truth.

Let’s face it – our information is out there digitally for all the world to see, or at least those who are interested in Googling our names. But we like to know what kind of privacy controls are still in place for our social media accounts. We don’t want Facebook sharing our posts with just anyone, and perhaps you keep your Instagram account private, too.

But what happens when Facebook starts to encroach on what you like to keep separate? For example, Facebook has a “suggested friends” page where it connects you with people in your social circles – maybe someone you knew back in high school or through a previous employer, and you would like to friend him/her. But what happens when the suggested friend is someone you don’t care to see again – say a Tinder date gone wrong?

Apparently, this is happening more and more, but strangely, no one really knows why. News website Motherboard investigated the link between Facebook and dating apps like Tinder and OkCupid, to see where the connection lies and if they are sharing information unbeknownst to their users.

According to Motherboard, Tinder, OkCupid and Facebook all deny sharing information with each other. Plus, most of these unwanted contacts that are suggested to Facebook users share no Facebook friends nor do they have a shared workplace history or any other connection besides being a potential or previous date.

So exactly how are these apps and Facebook tracking movement (and connections) we don’t necessarily want them to see? Shouldn’t your online dating life be kept separate from your social media circles until you meet someone special and YOU want to include them in your circles? Probably the last person you want to see as a Facebook friend suggestion is your one-night stand from two weeks ago or the date who stood you up.

So why does this keep happening? The answers are unclear. As the companies deny sharing information, there are other ways that your connections can leave a digital trail that makes its way to Facebook.

One such way is through your phone. If you message one of your dates, even if you don’t save the contact information, depending on your Facebook settings the service is able to pull contacts you have messaged and called on your phone to help expand your social circles. Motherboard found one such notice from Facebook while testing this out. The article says: “Facebook does say it bases its suggestions in part on ‘imported contacts,’ but this is something users have to opt into on the mobile app or desktop... I don’t ever remember agreeing to import my contacts, and yet when I checked my “invite history” page I had 900+ contacts saved, apparently were continuously syncing and updating, that I promptly removed. Facebook warned this could make my friend suggestions ‘less relevant.’”

Another reason could lie in Facebook searches. Chances are before a date you want to look up some information about a person over social media, doing due diligence to get to know the person you were about to meet. Perhaps you searched for them on Facebook, which would mean they could show up as a suggested friend – after all, Facebook knows you looked for them, not that you were interested in dating them.

At any rate, these digital connections will continue to increase, so it’s important to be prepared to see people you may not want in your suggested circles. If nothing else, just delete.

Practically every business is expected to have a social media presence in 2015. When your business is a digital one, that pressure doubles. When your target audience is millennials, it triples. Dating services are all about helping people make social connections, but how socially savvy are they on their own profiles?

Digiday used proprietary data from two social media analytics firms, Unmetric and Socialbakers, to pit seven dating apps against each other in the battle for most effective social media strategy. Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, Match.com, Zoosk, Coffee Meets Bagel and Bumble were put to the test in several different categories.

Number Of Fans

With over 13 million million Facebook likes, Zoosk has the largest social media fan base. Match and Tinder follow with over 827,000 and 369,000 fans, respectively. Twitter shows similar stats. Zoosk has the most followers by far at over 350,000. Match comes in second, with 65,000, and Tinder in third, with over 56,000.

Although Tinder currently has the smallest fan base, it's also the most rapidly growing. The game-changing dating app saw its fan base grow 228 percent between January and October 2015.

Geographical Popularity

Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, Match and Zoosk all have an international crop of users, but Tinder and Zoosk are the most diverse on social. In fact, the majority of Zoosk's Facebook fans are international.

Other services proved to be particularly popular in specific countries. Hinge is big in India, while Match is favored by Canadians and Tinder has won over Brazilian singles.

Engagement Level

Zoosk is the most prolific poster on social media. The company published 226 posts between January and October, and received the most likes and comments. Despite Zoosk's high volume, Tinder took the top spot for highest average engagement and most posts shared by fans.

Bumble is a relative newcomer to the dating world, but already it's showing promise on social. The app saw over 3,000 interactions with fans on Facebook between July and October. The numbers are expected to grow.

Number Of Fan Posts And Mentions

Match.com's users are the most likely to talk about it on Facebook. More than 9,000 messages were posted to Match's wall between January and October. Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel come next. Neither Tinder nor OkCupid had user posts on their Facebook walls. Their page settings most likely do not allow it.

Tinder leads the number of mentions on Twitter, perhaps because Twitter's audience skews younger than Facebook and Tinder attracts a similarly youthful user base. The app is followed by Zoosk and Match.com, which come in second and third with around 8,000 and 2,000 mentions apiece.

From the founder of Wyldfire, the ladies-led dating app, comes a new Snapchat-style app for online dating called Heartbeat. This may be the first time video has been so deeply integrated into the dating app format, but it won't come as much of a surprise to the tech savvy.

Snapchat is killing it in the mobile apps game. Though it skews heavily younger, it's becoming as commonplace to those of a certain generation as Facebook is to the generation before. It was only a matter of time before the competitive online dating industry attempted to steal some of Snapchat's style.

“Young people haven’t had a dating product that lets them communicate in their language,” said Brian Freeman, founder of Wyldfire and Heartbeat, in a press release. “The current dating app format feels far too hook-up-focused. Instead, Heartbeat is about establishing genuine human connection, in an instant, without allowing creeps to take the reins. This is the future of online dating.”

Safety is of the utmost importance on Heartbeat. All men interested in using the app must be pre-approved by a team of women before they can sign up. Communication can only be initiated by female users, though on Heartbeat it's live video chat (think something like FaceTime) rather than emails or text messages.

When you download the app, you will see a Heartbeat timeline – essentially a combination of Snapchat stories and an Instagram feed. Each uploaded story or "Heartbeat" will be automatically erased in 36 hours so your timeline is never overcrowded.

Female users receive one daily match suggestion selected through an algorithm called "BAE Watch." Men seeking additional search ability and compatibility suggestions from the BAE Watch algorithm can boost their membership to VIP status for an additional cost.

As an alternative matching option, women can scroll through their timelines, “like” Heartbeat videos, review profiles (a mix of a person's most recent Heartbeats and biographical information), and initiate conversations with prospective dates.

Freeman hopes that the video format will alleviate fears that users aren't talking to real people and will make users more accountable for what they say. He also hopes it will allow them to create deeper connections, by offering the opportunity to read body language and interpret tone in a way that text cannot achieve.

Heartbeat's target demographic is people in their twenties. Users in that age range are the 'digital natives' who grew up with smartphones in their hands, making them the most likely to be naturally drawn to the app.

Heartbeat officially began development only a few months ago, but the app is set to launch on November 20, 2015. To be among the first to use Heartbeat, sign up now at GetHeartBeat.co.

Having something in common is key to any successful relationship. Intimacy requires shared interests and values, which often come from religious beliefs. Enter Christian dating sites, which bring faith to the forefront in the search for love.

Niche, religion-based dating sites are a simple way to weed out those who don’t share the same fundamental values as you do, ultimately giving you a greater chance of compatibility and long-term relationship success (or, at the very least, something in common to discuss on your first date).

Christian Crush is an up-and-coming Christian dating site. Though relatively new, having only been around since 2011, Christian Crush is making a name for itself. The service offers a balance of personality-based and faith-based matching in order to create the most well-rounded experience for members.

What makes Christian Crush stand out against competition like ChristianMingle? These are a few of the reasons:

• New CC users receive their first two weeks free
• CC is the only Christian dating service that's Christian owned and operated
• CC is the only Christian dating service developed by a Christian psychologist
• CC is the only Biblical dating site using video profiles
• CC is the only Christian personals site using a derivative of the Big Five personality assessment
• Ten percent of all CC proceeds are tithed to local ministries

Christian Crush says its mission is to “provide the highest quality ministry on the web for Christians to connect and develop Godly, covenant based relationships.” In service of that goal, the company operates based on six core values that define its vision and inform its operations.

That's not to say that Christian Crush relies entirely on faith. The profile is composed of an interesting combination of religion and psychology. You'll find all the usual questions about appearance, education, politics and lifestyle, but also more specific questions about the role of religion in your life.

A detailed personality quiz offers further insight into Christian Crush members. Although it's 120 questions long, it only takes around 10 minutes to complete the questionnaire. The results are scored in accordance with a modified version of the Big Five personality assessment, which evaluates personality traits across the five categories of extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism and openness to experience.

Christian Crush is an innovative player in the religious dating game. It doesn't seem to follow a particular mold – it isn't secular, but it doesn't feel entirely Biblical either. Instead Christian Crush takes a new school approach to finding love based on faith, which could be exactly what it needs to claim the top spot in the Christian dating industry.