Sugar Daddy

Forget Ziggy Stardust. The award for ‘Most Exciting Rise And Fall’ this week goes to SeekingArrangement, the notorious sugar daddy dating website founded by Brandon Wade in 2006.

The US-based service suddenly soared to the top of the popularity charts in China’s iOS App Store, moving up 765 places on May 22 to take the number one spot for free social networking apps. Though SeekingArrangement has been in China since 2015, this marked the first time it topped the App Store rankings in the country. By comparison, according to Quartz, it ranks only 63rd on the same chart in the United States.

It is unclear what caused SeekingArrangement’s unexpected ascent to the throne. The company connects users -- usually an older, wealthier man and a young, attractive woman -- for what it politely calls “mutually beneficial relationships” or “compensated dating”. Considering the notoriously conservative culture in China, as well as the government’s recent crackdown on violent and sexually suggestive content on dating sites, the app’s download boom is all the more mystifying.

So you’re considering a foray into the weird and wonderful world of sugar babies, but you’re not sure where to start. You’re in luck - SeekingArrangement, a leading sugar daddy dating site with over 10 million members, is hosting a seminar for anyone interested in exploring “mutually beneficial relationships.”

The Sugar Baby Summit, which will take place in London on May 18, aims to help aspiring sugar babies develop the skills needed to succeed. The event promises experienced sugar baby coaches, as well as a roster of financial, career, and relationship experts. Each course offers practical lessons in sugaring as well as general advice designed to improve your life overall.

Some of the speakers presenting at the Sugar Baby Summit are:

Ashley Madison, the notorious dating website for married people, has been immersed in scandal since the company’s database was hacked a few months back. First, the hackers threatened to reveal users of the site, and then, it was discovered that most of the 5 million women registered on the site (a fraction of the number of men registered on the site) were actually linked to fake email addresses set up by employees of the website.

Now another potentially damaging piece of information has been uncovered by The Toronto Sun. Apparently, Ashley Madison’s parent company Avid Life Media, which owns several other dubious dating sites such as Cougar Life, The Big and the Beautiful, and Established Men, have been hiring attractive women to pose as founders of these dating sites.

According to the report in The Toronto Sun, Avid Life Media was trying to work the best PR angles possible to attract attention to these sites, a strategy that worked with Ashley Madison. Simply by trying to purchase ad space in a mainstream publication or even airtime during the Super Bowl, Ashley Madison received a lot of media attention – notably because they were refused the ad space/ time. However, new angles had to be thought out for the other Avid Life sites, including Cougar Life.

Cougar Life was repped by Claudia Opdenkelder, a beautiful spokesperson who portrayed herself to be the founder of the dating site which matched older women with younger men. "Why shouldn’t older women have younger men to love, just as older men can pursue younger women?" she campaigned to such outlets as The Globe and Mail and New York Times. She managed to generate a lot of coverage for the dating site.

The Big and the Beautiful followed suit by hiring plus-size America’s Next Top Model winner Whitney Thompson, who claimed to have founded the dating site, which caters to men looking for plus-sized women. Simone Dadoun-Cohen represented herself as the founder of Established Men, a site aimed at wealthy men who are looking for some arm candy – much like dating site SugarDaddy.com. Dadoun-Cohen claimed to be stripping to put herself through college before she met her wealthy boyfriend, hence the idea for the app. However, this turned out to be a made-up story.

The information was leaked from hackers of the Ashley Madison site, who also managed to get their hands on emails between former Avid Life CEO Noel Biderman, who stepped down after the hacking incident, and former media relations manager Shari Cogan. In the emails, the two discussed plans of what they would do about a potentially damaging segment about Cougar Life on ABC’s Nightline. “I don’t want this turning in to a witch hunt,” Biderman wrote. “We don’t want the site and Claudia to look like ‘frauds.'”

As of now, the three women who posed as the websites’ CEOs are no longer employed by Avid Life Media. Opdenkelder settled a lawsuit she brought against the company.

It must be noted that journalists went along with the stories of the CEOs without fact-checking, just taking their sources’ word for it – in this case, the PR staff of Avid Life Media. It seems the story made for better headlines than the truth.

Most daters gravitate towards what they know when they are meeting potential dates – like those with the same education, socio-economic or religious background. But others are looking to “date upwards,” at least according to websites like SeekingArrangements and SugarDaddie.com.

Money - when it comes to dating - has long been a touchy subject. Men sometimes resent the fact that they are expected to pay for dates, or that some women seem to be gold-diggers looking for someone to take care of them. On the other hand, many women get annoyed by this perception/ stereotype. Some women feel a lack of romance and courting in the current dating environment – wondering why don’t men put a little effort into planning and the pursuit.

Both of these arguments are valid by those who experience such frustration, but not true for everyone.

Brandon Wade, the founder of SeekingArrangments, makes his own argument via an article he penned on CNN.com - that a traditional relationship made by chance meeting and falling in love is not really a viable option. He claims that this doesn’t happen for most people. For men like him who are shy and uneasy around women, there aren’t many options, let alone serendipitous chance meetings. But that changes when you have money, he argues.

He’s not wrong. Plenty of women – and men – are more than willing to take a second look at a potential date if he or she is willing to pay for five-star restaurants or a weekend at a luxe hotel. There’s something very attractive about success and money, and Brandon Wade is quick to point this out: “love is a concept invented by poor people.”

Wade has a rather cynical view of dating, approaching people like he would a business deal where everything is about economic leverage and perceived value. He claims guys like him don’t really have a shot at love unless they can offer something of value that's tangible (like money or lifestyle) to their dates.

He dismisses the more progressive viewpoints of dating and relationships that value gender equality, saying: “Feminists argue that sugaring [men paying for women to date them] reverts women to a submissive, "codependent" lifestyle. But the reality is, we are leveling the playing field. There is no room for feminism in traditional relationships as defined by society. A new generation of independent, strong-willed women has cropped up while society is simultaneously raising boys who fail to ever reach their full potential.”

But how is it that these boys are actually "growing into men" when the only way they feel they can “level the playing field” is by paying for their right to play in the first place?

Some argue that sites like SeekingArrangements are really just an online form of prostitution. But sugar daddy sites obviously have a market and a demand, and people willing to pay and be paid, otherwise they wouldn’t exist.

But giving into Wade's pessimism about dating and relationships only sets us back further. Instead of paying for what you think you deserve, why not try a different approach?

Flirting and kindness never hurt anyone, and have gotten most people a date from time to time. Most people aren't looking for a paycheck - they are looking for love.

To find our complete list of comparable dating services you can check out our Sugar Daddy category.

If you’ve heard Brandon Wade’s name lately, it’s likely because he’s the CEO of SeekingArrangement.com and SA is currently embroiled in quite the scandal. Earlier this summer, the Web was rocked with the news that Google executive Forrest Hayes died of a fatal dose of heroin, allegedly injected by a prostitute named Alix Tichelman while the two were on a yacht.

Tichelman and Hayes met on SeekingArrangement.com, the infamous Las Vegas-based sugar daddy dating site. The news has put the spotlight on Wade, his company, and the complex world of financially-motivated dating. In the wake of the scandal, Eric Van Susteren of the Silicon Valley Business Journal spoke with Brandon Wade about the past, present, and future of his notorious website. Here are a few highlights of their conversation:

Van Susteren: How’d you get into this business?

Wade: I got into it because I was dateless, and I was shy and I was just completely awkward. My mother had always told me when I was growing up to channel all my sexual frustration into my books because when you get older and have money to be generous with, the girls will flock to you. When I graduated I was making six figures, and I still had that problem so I created this website because normal dating sites weren't working for me.

Van Susteren: How did your mother feel about being the inspiration of this business?

Wade: She loves it, and she thought it was funny that her advice would turn into a dating website eventually. People are going to want to criticize this any way they can but it's the same kind of advice mothers are giving daughters anyway. Telling them when you grow up you'll be treated like a princess by your knight in shining armor who's going to take care of you. How different is that? It's the same message: That you want to find a good, wealthy, successful husband or boyfriend who will take care of you.

Van Susteren: So how’s business?

Wade: Business has been doing better and better. We keep seeing growth and I don't think it's going to stop. We're moving away from the sugar daddy angle as well. It's still an important aspect of the site, but our marketing message is a more general now: “Relationship on your terms.”

Van Susteren: What’s the purpose of that move?

Wade: I think we sort of reached a plateau. When you look at relationships, not all people are really wealthy and successful, but they have specific conditions that they want in terms of what they want to find in a relationship. And that's what Seeking Arrangement is all about: It's about two people coming together, defining what want from each other, what they expect from each other, and creating a relationship based on that. It should be about anything — it shouldn't be just about sugar daddies.

For more information on this dating site you can read our review of Seeking Arrangement.

When people talk about the shot heard round the world, they typically mean a gunshot. In this case, it was the fatal dose of heroin injected into Google executive Forrest Hayes. Hayes met his untimely death on a yacht, during a tryst with a prostitute named Alix Tichelman who allegedly administered the drug.

The not-so-unlikely pair (let’s face it, rich techie types and sex workers have always gone together well) met on SeekingArrangement.com, a popular Las Vegas-based site where sugar babies set up profiles to meet sugar daddies. It seems like Seeking Arrangement CEO Brandon Wade is always in the news for one thing or another, but this might be the first time he and his site have gotten so much national attention.

Wade said in an interview that after Tichelman’s arrest was announced on July 9, Seeking Arrangement’s site traffic doubled and its new member count jumped to 12,000 per day from an average of 2,000. He also said that the site should generate at least twice the $10 million in sales it brought in last year, proving once again that one man’s tragedy is another man’s meal ticket.

Eric Van Susteren of the Silicon Valley Business Journal spoke with Brandon Wade about how Hayes’ death and Tichelman’s arrest are changing the future of Seeking Arrangement – if at all.

Wade has always taken a cavalier approach to his work, and it seems this time is no exception. Is he worried that the case will affect his business negatively? “I don't think so,” he says. “It seems that bad news ends up being good news when it comes to traffic for our website. What I'm more concerned about is making sure we tighten up our policies and look at where people misuse the site and come up with new innovations about where this can happen.”

That being said, he maintains that Seeking Arrangement is one of the “strictest websites in terms of terms of use, website policy and kinds of tools — as well as staff members that we employ — to keep unwanted members out of the site.” And he’s adamant that it’s ultimately not his job, or anyone else’s, to police the activity of members of his site:

“You're talking about adults and they're going to do what they're going to do. If you're bored with your life and shoot heroin up your arm, it's really difficult for a website or any other venue where people meet to dictate what people can or cannot do.”

"Remorseful" isn't exactly the word that comes to mind here. I think it’s safe to say that, notorious death or no notorious death, it will be business as usual for Brandon Wade and Seeking Arrangement.