Even the most open-minded dater has dealbreakers. Maybe it's bad manners. Maybe it's selfishness. Maybe it's talking too often about an ex or refusing to put the toilet seat down.

Most of us could make a list of the positive qualities we're looking for in a mate and a list of the negative qualities that will send us running. If you've spent any amount of time reading dating advice, you've been told that the best way to find a partner is to focus on what you do want rather than what you don't.

But now, new research suggests that people give more weight to their dealbreakers than they do to their deal makers. According to The Wall Street Journal, this tendency is essentially “the relationship version of the economic loss-aversion theory, which holds that people prioritize avoiding risk over acquiring gains.” People pay more attention to what's wrong with a potential partner than what is right.

In a series of six studies published together in October in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers from several universities found that women have more deal breakers than men. This is most likely because the stakes are higher for childbearers, who must be pickier about choosing a mate.

The studies also found that people who believe they are a good catch have more dealbreakers, and that everyone has more dealbreakers when considering a long-term relationship rather than a short-term one. One of the studies found that, though women tend to have more dealbreakers than men, there are more similarities than differences between the sexes.

The biggest dealbreaker for both was “disheveled or unclean,” followed by “lazy” and “too needy.” Women place greater importance on having a sense of humor, perhaps because humor is linked to intelligence. Men aren't as concerned about brains in a mate – in fact, one study found that men prefer not to date women who are smarter than they are.

When it comes to hitting the sack, the sexes are divided again. Women consider “bad sex” to be the biggest dealbreaker. Men, on the other hand, are more turned off low sex drives and talking too much. It's a classic dichotomy – men want quantity, women want quality.

A discusssion of dealbreakers begs the question: are you too picky or not picky enough? And which is better? Psychologists and dating experts say it's smart to set reasonable standards and expectations, but relying on irrational ones could mean missing out on a great mate.

If you want to know if a dealbreaker is reasonable or ridiculous, try this tip from Michael Boman, a licensed clinical social worker in Magna, Utah, who counsels couples: “Ask yourself what your best friend would say. It helps you to become objective.”

If Tinder has been a sea of left swipes lately, the app's recently announced update could change your luck for the holidays. Tinder’s founder Sean Rad announced forthcoming changes to the algorithm during Ireland’s Web Summit on November 4.

The update is set to be Tinder's biggest yet. "It's been our mission since day one to uncover ... every possible meaningful relationship," Rad told Mashable. In service of that goal, Rad says the company is looking to "reduce the barriers to people connecting" and help them form "deeper connections." He claims the upcoming changes will boost connections made on the dating app by 30%.

Unfortunately, actual details about the algorithm update are scarce. Tinder has not yet made a formal announcement and is keeping mostly mum until then. Rad only said to expect a "series of things you're going to see that will help you make more sense of the sheer volume of people around you and build deeper connections...and more ways to connect."

What Tinder is talking about is its reputation as a “hookup app,” which its eager to shed. Rad made yet another attempt to distance the company from that status, adding that 80% of users are looking for long-term relationships.

This year has seen Tinder release features designed to make the app more engaging. Not long ago it launched 'Super Like' - a function that can only be used once a day to let a user know you really (like, really really) like them. Rad compares it to walking over and saying hi to someone, instead of winking at them from across the room.

The CEO also shared some of Tinder's impressive numbers with the Web Summit. The app currently receives 1.6 billion swipes per day, 26 million matches per day and 9 billion total matches since its debut in 2012. As a result of those swipes, 1.5 million in-person dates stem from Tinder each week. More than half of those make it to a second date.

Up next, Tinder will focus on monetization. Most of the company's revenue currently comes from Tinder Plus, a paid service that allows users to search outside of their geographical location and undo swipes. Advertising hasn't yet hit the app in a major way, but there will be a bigger focus on ads in the near future.

Rad is nothing if not confident about Tinder's success. "There is no doubt that Tinder is increasing the number of connections in this world," he said. "We are bringing the world closer together at a scale that no platform has ever been able to do and in that sense, we are changing the world."

For more on this popular dating app, please read our Tinder review.

Dating advice tends to fall into two categories: mostly terrible and completely heinous. It's Cosmo giving women bogus tips on how to trap a man or pompous pick up artists telling men how to seduce a woman. Either way, everyone loses.

But every once in a while, beneath the steaming garbage heap of trash dating tips, there are a few nuggets of genuine wisdom. They aren't about how to dress sexy or charm a date with pre-planned pickup lines. In fact, they aren't really about your dates at all. They're about you.

Changing your dating life means changing the way you approach dating. When you adjust your actions, mindset and expectations, you can totally transform your dating game. Follow these four tips to give it a complete overhaul:

Be willing to work for it. We cling to the idea that love is supposed to find us suddenly and sweep us off our feet. It's a romantic notion, but utterly impractical. Relationships don't just happen – you have to work for it, just like you put work into your career. Make dating a priority. Meet new people. Go outside of your comfort zone. It's the best way to increase your odds of finding someone you really click with.

Don't judge a book by its cover, or a person by their profile. Just because everyone's trying online dating doesn't mean they're any good at it. Some people are awful writers and aren't photogenic, but they're great dates when you meet them in person. Other people nail the profile but don't live up to it face to face. Ultimately, a good profile only means that you're good at writing profiles. The only way to really get to know someone is to do it in person.

Focus on how someone makes you feel. It's impossible to date without judging. In a way, that's what dating is about – evaluating people to determine if they're a potential partner. Just make sure you're judging the right thing. Picking apart someone's clothes or hairline is superficial. Instead, focus on how they make you feel. Are you comfortable? Are you happy? Do you feel like the best version of yourself when you're around them? Those are the things that really matter.

Get used to taking risks. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is a tired cliché, but it's 100 percent applicable to your love life. Dating means taking risks, unless you're willing to settle for whatever accidentally comes your way. Guys, approach someone even if you think they're out of your league. Ladies, start approaching men if you've always been the approach-ee. You'll begin meeting better quality partners when you put yourself out there and go after what you really want.

Forget Black Friday. Forget Cyber Monday. China’s Singles' Day is now the world’s biggest online shopping bonanza.

The holiday, an anti-Valentine's Day for single people, traces its origins back to Nanjing University in 1993. Students began celebrating the single life annually on November 11, a date chosen because of the connection between singlehood and the number 1. Upon graduation many continued the tradition and the celebration of Singles' Day is now widespread amongst young Chinese people.

To mark the occasion, Chinese singles party with other single friends. The festivities can include a special breakfast, karaoke and blind date parties hosted in attempt to end singlehood as soon as possible. Singles' Day has also become the largest online shopping day in the world, with sales in e-commerce giant Alibaba's sites Tmall and Taobao clocking in at US$9.3 billion in 2014.

Yes, $9.3 billion. That’s more than the total U.S. online sales on Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined in 2014. And no one got run over in a tragic store stampede.

Singles' Day shopping originated with Alibaba, but today merchants throughout China participate. Shoppers can score major deals on clothing, cosmetics, electronics and even food. Looking at the numbers will make your head spin:

• Alibaba's Singles' Day 2015 selection will include 6 million products from more than 40,000 merchants, and over 30,000 brands from 25 countries
• China’s post office estimates that nearly 800 million packages will be shipped as a result of the hoilday
• A Nielsen survey found that 56 percent of more than 1,000 internet users in China said they would increase spending compared with 2014
• Consumers are expected to spend an average of $277 per person, up 22 percent year on year
• Alibaba estimates that 1.7 million deliverymen, 400,000 delivery vehicles, 5,000 warehouses and 200 airplanes will be necessary to handle the deliveries

If predictions are accurate, 2015 could be the biggest year yet for retailers on Singles' Day. Alibaba sales could hit $10 billion in a 24-hour period.

"It's not a huge surprise that consumers are planning to spend more during this year's 'Double 11,'” Yan Xuan, President of Nielsen Greater China, told CNBC. “Income levels and internet penetration continue to rise throughout China, so this is a natural progression.”

Singles' Day is also expanding worldwide. Five thousand overseas brands from 25 countries – including the U.S, Europe, Japan and South Korea – will be available this year. This year's international participants include Costco, LG Electronics, Walt Disney Co., Fisher-Price and Lego. In recent years, Apple, Calvin Klein, Macy's and Burberry have participated.

Perhaps Singles' Day itself will soon be a global phenomenon.

You love chocolate, but even chocolate would be boring if you ate it every day.

You started online dating with a mix of nervousness and excitement. At first it took up all of your free time. Every spare second was spent swiping or sending winks. Nothing compared to the rush of meeting someone for the first time and even if the date was a disaster, you could write it off as a funny story from your online dating days.

But eventually, even the most serious swipers get tired of Tinder. OkCupid's questions don't seem so fun anymore. eHarmony feels anything but harmonious. Online dating burnout is a real phenomenon, and when you find yourself with a diagnosed case, it's time to switch up your routine.

There's just one problem: do you even remember how to meet people anymore? Once you get used to signing in with a username, it's hard to imagine how singles met in quainter, less tech-savvy times.

Let's take a trip down memory lane, to a scary new dating site called The Real World. Here's how to meet people face to face when you've put your digital dating service on time out:

• Reach out to your social network. There was a time when “social network” meant the friends you actually know in real life, not the ones you pretend to know on Instagram. Be open with your friends and family about your interest in meeting new people. As the people who know you best, they may be able to make introductions you're actually interested in.
• Say yes to social invitations. It's easy to say no. Pajamas are comfortable, ice cream is delicious, and Netflix is addictive. But if you really want to meet new people, you have to put yourself where people are. Attend weddings, reunions, birthday parties and any other social gatherings you're invited to.
• Check out local events. Visit museumes, wander through art galleries, see live music – explore the local culture. Not only does it get you out and about where you might meet a potential date, it also gives you a greater appreciation for the city you call home. You may even find the perfect location for your next date.
• Join a club, group, or professional organization. This is the easiest way to meet somone who shares your interests or goals. And since we all know that's key to a successful relationship, you already have a jumpstart on getting it right. Taking classes is another great way to meet someone with shared interests while building your skill set.

Whatever you do, remember this important rule: put down the device. You won't meet anyone if your face is glued to a screen.

“I just don't have time to date.”

You've heard the excuse before. Maybe you've used it yourself. You could be a parent, a bootstrapping entrepreneur, a frequent traveler, or someone swept up in the 24/7 life of a major city. Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same: you have no free time and your love life is suffering.

Being busy is the most believable excuse for being single you'll find – because, sometimes, it's true. Obligations are an inescapable fact of adult life. Time is a precious commodity. It can be difficult to create opportunities to date when you're weighed down by responsibilities and have a finite number of hours in which to achieve them.

That doesn't mean it's impossible. What it does mean is that “I don't have time to date” isn't always an excuse. It also means that you're in need of some serious reevaluation.

The process of getting your love life back begins with assessing two things:

• Your schedule
• Your priorities

First, take an honest look at where your hours go. Once you start tracking your days, you may find a surprising amount of wasted time. It's amazing how many minutes slip by when you surf social media, binge watch on Netflix, and hit the snooze button several times. Could you put those hours to better use?

On the other hand, it's possible that all your hours really are tied up in commitments that leave you with no time to yourself. If so, you'll need to get your life into better balance before you worry about dating. It's time to reconsider your priorities.

You owe it to yourself (and your sanity) to lead a life that does not eat up all of your free time. It's a difficult cycle to break, but when you do, everything improves. Counterintuitive though it may be, taking more time for yourself can make you more effective at work (or whatever else is demanding so much of your days).

Let's get cliché for a minute. If you were on your deathbed, would your final thoughts be about how you wish you'd worked more 14-hour days? If so, keep doing what you're doing. If not, make the necessary changes to have a life that actually gives you a LIFE. It won't be easy, but anything worth having requires effort.

You fought hard to get into the college you wanted. To get the job of your dreams. To get a promotion or pay raise. But when it comes to dating, you're a passive player. And you're missing out.

To find love, you have to create room and opportunity. The desire to date isn't enough. You need to make a fundamental shift that creates a better life balance. Make space in your life for dating and the dates will come.