Dating advice tends to fall into two categories: mostly terrible and completely heinous. It's Cosmo giving women bogus tips on how to trap a man or pompous pick up artists telling men how to seduce a woman. Either way, everyone loses.

But every once in a while, beneath the steaming garbage heap of trash dating tips, there are a few nuggets of genuine wisdom. They aren't about how to dress sexy or charm a date with pre-planned pickup lines. In fact, they aren't really about your dates at all. They're about you.

Changing your dating life means changing the way you approach dating. When you adjust your actions, mindset and expectations, you can totally transform your dating game. Follow these four tips to give it a complete overhaul:

Be willing to work for it. We cling to the idea that love is supposed to find us suddenly and sweep us off our feet. It's a romantic notion, but utterly impractical. Relationships don't just happen – you have to work for it, just like you put work into your career. Make dating a priority. Meet new people. Go outside of your comfort zone. It's the best way to increase your odds of finding someone you really click with.

Don't judge a book by its cover, or a person by their profile. Just because everyone's trying online dating doesn't mean they're any good at it. Some people are awful writers and aren't photogenic, but they're great dates when you meet them in person. Other people nail the profile but don't live up to it face to face. Ultimately, a good profile only means that you're good at writing profiles. The only way to really get to know someone is to do it in person.

Focus on how someone makes you feel. It's impossible to date without judging. In a way, that's what dating is about – evaluating people to determine if they're a potential partner. Just make sure you're judging the right thing. Picking apart someone's clothes or hairline is superficial. Instead, focus on how they make you feel. Are you comfortable? Are you happy? Do you feel like the best version of yourself when you're around them? Those are the things that really matter.

Get used to taking risks. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” is a tired cliché, but it's 100 percent applicable to your love life. Dating means taking risks, unless you're willing to settle for whatever accidentally comes your way. Guys, approach someone even if you think they're out of your league. Ladies, start approaching men if you've always been the approach-ee. You'll begin meeting better quality partners when you put yourself out there and go after what you really want.

Forget Black Friday. Forget Cyber Monday. China’s Singles' Day is now the world’s biggest online shopping bonanza.

The holiday, an anti-Valentine's Day for single people, traces its origins back to Nanjing University in 1993. Students began celebrating the single life annually on November 11, a date chosen because of the connection between singlehood and the number 1. Upon graduation many continued the tradition and the celebration of Singles' Day is now widespread amongst young Chinese people.

To mark the occasion, Chinese singles party with other single friends. The festivities can include a special breakfast, karaoke and blind date parties hosted in attempt to end singlehood as soon as possible. Singles' Day has also become the largest online shopping day in the world, with sales in e-commerce giant Alibaba's sites Tmall and Taobao clocking in at US$9.3 billion in 2014.

Yes, $9.3 billion. That’s more than the total U.S. online sales on Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined in 2014. And no one got run over in a tragic store stampede.

Singles' Day shopping originated with Alibaba, but today merchants throughout China participate. Shoppers can score major deals on clothing, cosmetics, electronics and even food. Looking at the numbers will make your head spin:

• Alibaba's Singles' Day 2015 selection will include 6 million products from more than 40,000 merchants, and over 30,000 brands from 25 countries
• China’s post office estimates that nearly 800 million packages will be shipped as a result of the hoilday
• A Nielsen survey found that 56 percent of more than 1,000 internet users in China said they would increase spending compared with 2014
• Consumers are expected to spend an average of $277 per person, up 22 percent year on year
• Alibaba estimates that 1.7 million deliverymen, 400,000 delivery vehicles, 5,000 warehouses and 200 airplanes will be necessary to handle the deliveries

If predictions are accurate, 2015 could be the biggest year yet for retailers on Singles' Day. Alibaba sales could hit $10 billion in a 24-hour period.

"It's not a huge surprise that consumers are planning to spend more during this year's 'Double 11,'” Yan Xuan, President of Nielsen Greater China, told CNBC. “Income levels and internet penetration continue to rise throughout China, so this is a natural progression.”

Singles' Day is also expanding worldwide. Five thousand overseas brands from 25 countries – including the U.S, Europe, Japan and South Korea – will be available this year. This year's international participants include Costco, LG Electronics, Walt Disney Co., Fisher-Price and Lego. In recent years, Apple, Calvin Klein, Macy's and Burberry have participated.

Perhaps Singles' Day itself will soon be a global phenomenon.

You love chocolate, but even chocolate would be boring if you ate it every day.

You started online dating with a mix of nervousness and excitement. At first it took up all of your free time. Every spare second was spent swiping or sending winks. Nothing compared to the rush of meeting someone for the first time and even if the date was a disaster, you could write it off as a funny story from your online dating days.

But eventually, even the most serious swipers get tired of Tinder. OkCupid's questions don't seem so fun anymore. eHarmony feels anything but harmonious. Online dating burnout is a real phenomenon, and when you find yourself with a diagnosed case, it's time to switch up your routine.

There's just one problem: do you even remember how to meet people anymore? Once you get used to signing in with a username, it's hard to imagine how singles met in quainter, less tech-savvy times.

Let's take a trip down memory lane, to a scary new dating site called The Real World. Here's how to meet people face to face when you've put your digital dating service on time out:

• Reach out to your social network. There was a time when “social network” meant the friends you actually know in real life, not the ones you pretend to know on Instagram. Be open with your friends and family about your interest in meeting new people. As the people who know you best, they may be able to make introductions you're actually interested in.
• Say yes to social invitations. It's easy to say no. Pajamas are comfortable, ice cream is delicious, and Netflix is addictive. But if you really want to meet new people, you have to put yourself where people are. Attend weddings, reunions, birthday parties and any other social gatherings you're invited to.
• Check out local events. Visit museumes, wander through art galleries, see live music – explore the local culture. Not only does it get you out and about where you might meet a potential date, it also gives you a greater appreciation for the city you call home. You may even find the perfect location for your next date.
• Join a club, group, or professional organization. This is the easiest way to meet somone who shares your interests or goals. And since we all know that's key to a successful relationship, you already have a jumpstart on getting it right. Taking classes is another great way to meet someone with shared interests while building your skill set.

Whatever you do, remember this important rule: put down the device. You won't meet anyone if your face is glued to a screen.

“I just don't have time to date.”

You've heard the excuse before. Maybe you've used it yourself. You could be a parent, a bootstrapping entrepreneur, a frequent traveler, or someone swept up in the 24/7 life of a major city. Whatever the reason, the outcome is the same: you have no free time and your love life is suffering.

Being busy is the most believable excuse for being single you'll find – because, sometimes, it's true. Obligations are an inescapable fact of adult life. Time is a precious commodity. It can be difficult to create opportunities to date when you're weighed down by responsibilities and have a finite number of hours in which to achieve them.

That doesn't mean it's impossible. What it does mean is that “I don't have time to date” isn't always an excuse. It also means that you're in need of some serious reevaluation.

The process of getting your love life back begins with assessing two things:

• Your schedule
• Your priorities

First, take an honest look at where your hours go. Once you start tracking your days, you may find a surprising amount of wasted time. It's amazing how many minutes slip by when you surf social media, binge watch on Netflix, and hit the snooze button several times. Could you put those hours to better use?

On the other hand, it's possible that all your hours really are tied up in commitments that leave you with no time to yourself. If so, you'll need to get your life into better balance before you worry about dating. It's time to reconsider your priorities.

You owe it to yourself (and your sanity) to lead a life that does not eat up all of your free time. It's a difficult cycle to break, but when you do, everything improves. Counterintuitive though it may be, taking more time for yourself can make you more effective at work (or whatever else is demanding so much of your days).

Let's get cliché for a minute. If you were on your deathbed, would your final thoughts be about how you wish you'd worked more 14-hour days? If so, keep doing what you're doing. If not, make the necessary changes to have a life that actually gives you a LIFE. It won't be easy, but anything worth having requires effort.

You fought hard to get into the college you wanted. To get the job of your dreams. To get a promotion or pay raise. But when it comes to dating, you're a passive player. And you're missing out.

To find love, you have to create room and opportunity. The desire to date isn't enough. You need to make a fundamental shift that creates a better life balance. Make space in your life for dating and the dates will come.

Plenty of Fish may have taken a backseat to services like Tinder in terms of cultural recognition, but 2015 has been a big year for the company nonetheless.

In March, POF released its revenue numbers for the first time. The dating app and website reached 100 million users worldwide and announced that its run rate – the revenue a company can expect to bring in if business continues as it has so far that year – for 2015 was expected to hit $100 million. That's a dollar per year per user, even though most POF users don't pay a dime for the service.

In July POF was acquired by Match Group, an IAC/InterActive subsidiary, for $575 million in cash. Match Group had purchased a number of dating services over the previous six years, including How About We and OkCupid. Add those to Tinder, which Match had funded early in its lifetime, and Match Group became a serious power player in the online dating world.

After much speculation, Match Group filed for an IPO in October of this year with a tentative offering amount of $100 million. It will operate under the ticker symbol "MTCH" on NASDAQ.

And that's not where the big news ends for Plenty of Fish in 2015. As part of Match Group's filing with the SEC, the company revealed POF's current financial status. This is only the second time the public has seen POF's revenue numbers.

POF's revenue is divided into two categories: subscription and advertising. The majority of the website's funding comes from subscriptions, which make up 75% of POF's income compared to 25% from ads. POF currently estimates 2015 revenue to be $80 million.

With a little math magic, we can find out how many paying users Plenty Of Fish has. Seventy-five percent of $80 million is $60 million per year from subscriptions. Divide that by 12 and POF pulls in $5 million per month. Then divide again by $10, the average monthly revenue per paid member, and the final number is 500,000 paid members. That's a remarkably small percentage of POF's 100 million users.

There's a reason the company relies so heavily on subscription revenue over ads. As singles increasingly favor mobile devices over computers, services like Plenty Of Fish are forced to adapt to smaller screens. Ads are more distracting and harder to read in the cramped space of a smartphone screen.

In other ways, mobile has strongly contributed to the success of POF. “Since our shift to mobile we’ve seen rapid growth both in terms of users and revenue,” says founder and CEO Markus Frind.

“Our revenue model has also evolved from one driven by advertising to one driven by paid membership,” he adds. “Now more than ever, singles are willing to pay for an enhanced user experience.”

There’s no doubt about it: online dating has become even more popular, and at the same time, more frustrating than ever. Believe it or not, there is a correlation between the two.

Dating apps work very similarly to a game. You swipe left and right, amassing lots of matches to your dating bank account, and feeling great. More people, more possibilities. But in reality – how many of your matches are you actually going out with? How many send you messages, and how many respond to yours? Unfortunately, more often than not, the numbers are low. (Or worse – female daters tend to be the recipients of unwanted and aggressive texts.)

So what do we do with this information? Do we declare this to be "the end of dating" along with The New York Times? Do we delete those apps from our phones, as one writer for website Bustle has declared she will do?

You do have the option to drop out of online dating altogether, but I would argue for keeping it a part of how you meet people to date. Dating apps are here to stay, so it's time to embrace them. But we also need to learn how to date - in real life.

The problem doesn't lie with dating apps per se - technology in general is changing how we behave and interact. People are spending more time updating and commenting on their social media accounts than they are having actual conversations or meeting up with people IRL. Take a look at any bar or restaurant, and inevitably you see a group of people at a table, and none of them are talking to each other – they are staring at their phones.

There is an element of social anxiety that comes along with dating, but our phones are giving us an easy way out, rather than learning to overcome this anxiety. It’s much easier to drop a conversation online than try to think of something witty to say. And the thought of making small talk on a first date for half an hour can terrify many young daters who have grown accustomed to safely hiding behind their phones.

Instead of complaining about the technology, it’s time to do something about what we would like to see in the dating world. Ask someone out on a real date. Pick up the phone and have a conversation, don’t just text until one of you drops off. And if you don’t get a response? On to the next.

Most people want to find a connection to someone else. Online dating provides a way to meet people, not a way to actually date them. Instead, the search for connection is totally left up to us – a scary thought. (Why can’t we just blame the dating apps for peoples’ behavior?)

If you want your online dating experience to change, you first need to change your own approach to it. Don’t endlessly swipe. Talk to more people over the phone or in person. Look them in the eye when you are having a conversation. Don’t become distracted by your phone, or lean on it like a crutch when you get bored. Learn the art of making conversation, of flirting. Practice it!

There’s no shame in asking someone out, and to follow through and go on a real date. In fact, it’s the only thing that will lead to a real-life relationship.