Use it or lose it. That’s the motto men on Bumble will have to live by from now on. The dating app just announced that male users are now required to reply to women's messages within 24 hours or they lose the match.

Bumble has always been unique. At first glance, you’d be forgiven for mistaking it for Tinder 2.0 - but look closer and you’ll notice the key difference that has made the app a hit in its own right. Once a pair is matched on Bumble, only the woman can send a message. If she doesn’t do it within 24 hours, her match buzzes off into cyberspace, never to be seen again.

By requiring women to make the first move, Bumble takes a feminist stance and places power firmly in female users’ hands. The new update levels the playing field between the sexes even further by requiring men to respond within the same timeframe.

Bumble CEO Whitney Wolfe told Mashable that the goal was to make it an “even keel” experience. "She was held to 24 hours to reach out to you,” Wolfe said. “We feel it's only fair you're confined to the same rules." Previously, men had unlimited time to answer messages.

"I know the whole idea is that it's empowering women, but it also just puts the ball in the guy's court and starts a 'wait and see' game," New Yorker Lauren Drell told Mashable. "It means we need to rush but then a guy can take their time in replying back and vetting options."

Wolfe also says that by applying the 24-hour restriction to all users, they can't "rack up" their number of matches anymore - a common practice on other platforms. "It's helping objectify women less," she explained.

A final goal for the new rule is to prevent ghosting, an increasingly prevalent phenomenon in online dating. According to data from Fortune magazine, 80% of Millennials have been ghosted at some point. Bumble has found that the number of messages sent and chats initiated has significantly increased since the introduction of the time limit.

Male responses to female-initiated chats have gone up 18%, and a chat is 70% more likely to continue once there is a reply. The app has also witnessed a 9% increase in women sending the first message since men are replying to their initial message.

Bumble is confident that the good news will keep coming. Along with being the most frequently requested feature, says Wolfe, testing in the UK found that the male 24-hour timer increased response rate by 20%.

"There are a lot of theories out there about how online dating is bad for us," Michael Rosenfeld, a sociologist at Stanford who has been conducting a long-running study of online dating, told The Washington Post. "And mostly they're pretty unfounded."

From its earliest days, online dating has faced harsh criticism. Some doubted its efficacy. Others accused it of being a last-ditch effort of the desperate. These days we’ve moved on from those denunciations, but online dating is still not without its detractors. In 2016 critics are more likely to say it encourages promiscuity or has contributed to the spread of STDs.

But what if they’ve been wrong all along?

Rosenfeld, who has followed the dating lives of more than 3,000 people during his career, has gleaned many insights about our new, tech-savvy approach to pairing off. Roberto A. Ferdman spoke with Rosenfeld about his research for The Washington Post. Below are a few highlights from the interview:

• On how online dating has changed the way we date: “The rise of phone apps and online dating websites gives people access to more potential partners than they could meet at work or in the neighborhood. It makes it easier for someone who is looking for something very specific in a partner to find what they are looking for.”
• On skepticism: “The worry about online dating comes from theories about how too much choice might be bad for you. The idea is that if you’re faced with too many options you will find it harder to pick one, that too much choice is demotivating.”
• On the skepticism’s validity: “I actually don’t see in my data any negative repercussions for people who meet partners online…. There’s no obvious pattern by which people who meet online are worse off. And, conversely, online dating has real benefits.”
• On marriage: “One of the things I have found out as part of my research is that people who meet online actually progress to marriage faster than people who meet offline…. I think that’s because online you do this big, calculated search for your soul mate, and find someone else who agrees and then transition to marriage much more quickly.”

Not only has Rosenfeld’s research led him to believe that criticisms of online dating are largely unfounded, he also believes that online dating has had beneficial effects.

“The need for love, romance, relationships and sex — these are pretty basic human needs,” he says. “And the ability to match people who would have otherwise not found each other is a powerful outcome of the new technology.” In other words, online dating has opened up new pathways to love and happiness for millions of people around the world - and it's hard to find fault with that.

Read the full interview at The Washington Post.

Many people are hesitant to try online dating, and it’s no surprise. Setting up a profile, messaging, meeting new people, making conversation, and trying to find connection can be a daunting (and time-consuming) process.

Even though meeting people online is extremely popular now with date-friendly apps like Tinder, the process can feel overwhelming or scary for the uninitiated. Or for those who have burned out from online dating, they might not want to go back to it. As a result, many people talk themselves out of online dating altogether – claiming they just aren’t ready to start meeting people. But is there something else going on?

Online dating can feel scary, especially if you are uncomfortable with dating in general or tend to be introverted or shy. You probably hear advice like “put yourself out there,” or “you have to meet a lot of people before you find the one.”

This is scary advice for someone who isn’t very social, or feels uncomfortable in social situations. It’s easy to advise singles that they need to put more effort into their searches, but what exactly does this look like for someone who hates networking events or bars, or feels uncomfortable making conversation?

Sometimes, we make excuses because we are afraid to face our fears. But let’s be honest – in order to find a great relationship, you have to be somewhat social. You have to talk to new people, or at least try to meet them, which is exhausting or even terrifying for introverts.

The key is taking baby steps, and to ease the pressure on yourself to find someone great. There’s no magic formula (contrary to what some dating experts say), so don’t assume that saying the right things or acting in a way that doesn’t feel authentic to you is the only way you’ll be successful. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Following are three small steps you can take today to ease you into dating with a little more confidence:

Set small social goals. It’s good to practise your social skills, even if you aren’t looking for a date. Attend a networking event that you normally would decline. Make a promise to yourself to talk to at least two people before you leave. When you achieve these small goals, you start to feel more comfortable when you date, especially with the initial small talk.

Enlist a friend’s help. Kind of like joining a running group to motivate you in training for a marathon, online dating with a buddy can help jumpstart your dating life. You can check in with each other to reach out to more people and try to set up a couple of dates a week. If that feels too much to you, then try one date a week. Go at your own pace – this isn’t a race.

Remember, it’s just a conversation. Online dating can feel very “official,” like you are both being judged and interviewed. You both know why you are meeting, so there is a pressure to form a connection. But remove yourself from that mindset for a moment. In order to actually form a connection, you can’t be scrutinizing everything. It’s important to be fully present in the moment. Take the pressure off yourself with the reminder that you are just having a conversation – nothing more or less. And then see where it goes.

Take care of yourself. Online dating can take a lot of energy, so it's especially important for introverts to replenish. Make time to do things you love - sports, painting, horseback riding, etc. Spend some time alone when you need to recharge. Know what works for you so you can feel your best when you're on a date.

Popular news comedy television show The Daily Show covered an interesting topic recently – sexual racism in online dating. In the segment, produced by Jessica Williams (Daily Show correspondent) and Ronny Chieng, the two explore what this term means, and how it affects so many online daters.

There are definitely racial stereotypes when it comes to sex and dating, both overt and subtle. Most of us think of attraction in terms of physical preferences. Many women prefer tall men or strong biceps for instance. Lots of guys prefer thin women, or women with blonde hair. Physical appearances are important in attraction, so it seems to follow that many daters would state their racial preferences on an online dating site, too.

But as the segment pointed out, having race preference in dating is a kind of racial discrimination. While you might prefer tall men or blonde women, chances are you are willing to date those who aren’t, or at least consider dating them. Many daters however refuse to date outside of their own racial preferences, going so far as to state in their online dating profiles that they won’t date people of a certain race.

This is where the term “sexual racism” comes in. Williams and Chieng interviewed Zach Stafford, a writer for The Guardian who noted: “When someone says something like, ‘I don’t date black people,’ talking about all black people, that would be referred to as sexual racism.”

There are some stereotypes that persist in American culture about who is considered “beautiful.” And some races are viewed in a negative way, especially African American women and Asian men.

Williams and Chieng also interviewed OkCupid Founder Christian Rudder, who studied many online dating trends for his book Dataclysm, race preferences included. “There is kind of a systemic racial bias pretty much in every dating site I’ve ever looked at,” Rudder said in his interview. “We found that 82 percent of non-black men have some bias against black women… And Asian men get the fewest messages and the worst ratings of any group of guys.”

For black women, there is the cultural perception among non-black men that they are not as pretty as white women. While this sounds hard to believe, in the segment, some daters admitted to receiving texts and messages saying just that. And for Asian men, the stereotype that many aren’t sexually endowed persists, despite it being a stereotype, making them the least messaged group on any dating app or site.

In fact, Williams posted a profile of Chieng on numerous dating apps to see what happened. She swiped right for every profile he was sent. He received no messages or matches in return, proving Rudder’s assertion correct.

Have you encountered sexual racism in online dating? How have you responded? We’d love to know – please leave a comment or send us an email.

Tinder has just released an update to its app. Now, Tinder users in New York City (where the new feature is being tested) can play "matchmaker" with other users by sharing profiles in their social networks outside of Tinder.

WIth the new feature, these users can share profiles of other users on messaging apps like Slack, Evernote, and Gmail, or social platforms like Linked In, Tumblr, GroupMe, and Wunderlist. Tinder users however are not able to share profiles over Facebook.

In theory, a matchmaking feature on Tinder makes sense because of the sheer volume of users - it expands your network and opportunities even more. The downside of this latest update is that other people on Tinder can take your profile, post and share it wherever they want, and you have no control.

People post their profiles on Tinder knowing that other users of the app can swipe and accept or reject them, but like with online dating sites where users don't necessarily want their work colleagues or family members to know they are signed up - swiping and matching has always been done within the confines of the app. Even though you sign up on Tinder with your Facebook account, and photos are pulled from your Facebook page, your activity on Tinder isn’t posted to your Facebook account for all to see. The two are kept separate for privacy. 

Our work and love lives have generally been kept separate for good reason. Let’s say you have a business meeting with some important clients, who are connected through your boss (and to you) on a platform like Slack or LinkedIn. You probably wouldn’t want them to know how you present yourself on a dating app – as it could be very different from your professional persona. In Slack, you can send a Tinder profile you received to your entire work team if you want. In LinkedIn, you can share the Tinder profile with the general LinkedIn public. (This might make for a good revenge plot if you are upset with a co-worker or an ex girlfriend.)

If you share over Wunderlist, you can essentially make the profile you are sharing part of your “to-do” list. If you want to save and read someone’s profile later, you can do this when you share with Pocket.

Once you share a profile, the recipient gets a link to open the profile in Tinder. If they don’t have an account, they are prompted to join in order to view. (The shared links expire after 72 hours or five clicks, so at least there is a limit on sharing one profile.)

New York is a testing ground for this app feature, so it might be tweaked before it’s launched to other cities.

Will this new feature work for Tinder users? It's hard to tell, but it definitely will make online dating not only more interconnected, but more complicated. When you blur the lines between public and personal and don't give people the capacity to maintain some control over their own profiles, chances are, they won't stick around.

Tinder’s simple swipe functionality has long made it a target of criticism. Detractors claim the dating app is a magnet for promiscuous singles hoping for hook-ups, while defenders say meaningful relationships are also part of the package. A new study suggests the latter may be right.

Researchers at Webster Vienna Private University in Austria asked 75 users of Tinder and other dating services to complete questionnaires about their motivation for online dating. They were also asked to rate their sociability, self-esteem, and sexual permissiveness. They shared their findings in a paper entitled 'On the differences between Tinder versus online dating agencies.'

“To date there has been little scientific research exploring the characteristics and motivations of those who use online dating agencies and social dating apps,” said lead author Dr. Kathleen Hodkinson, Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychology. “We were interested in understanding whether users of these two types of services differ from each other, and from those who do not use any form of online dating. What the research has essentially highlighted is that they don’t appear to.”

The study concluded that Tinder users have the same motivations as users of other sites, and that they do not significantly differ from traditional daters in their behavior or what they’re looking for. Those results are in line with a broader body of research that has found that online daters strongly resemble those who do not use online dating. “It is likely,” Hodkinson explained, “that as online dating continues to grow in popularity, its users are becoming increasingly diverse and therefore more reflective of the general population.”

Early studies of online dating drew completely different conclusions. They found a positive correlation between time spent on the internet, loneliness, and anxiety. Further studies failed to replicate that finding, and with the stigma surrounding online dating almost completely gone, Hodkinson’s study feels closer to the truth - at least the truth as we experience it in 2016.

What Hodkinson’s team did find is increased sexual permissiveness in Tinder users, which they chalked up to the younger age of the app’s userbase. They also found they men are more likely than women to use dating services to find casual sex partners, a finding that is consistent with other studies that show similar behavior patterns among males both online and offline.

The study hopes to inspire more in-depth research to further test the assumptions made, in particular taking other variables such as religious beliefs, income, and marital status into account. For now, it provides a starting point for evaluating how dating services are used today and how it may evolve in the future. For more on this dating app for which the study is about please read our review of Tinder