OkCupid

Let’s face it – our information is out there digitally for all the world to see, or at least those who are interested in Googling our names. But we like to know what kind of privacy controls are still in place for our social media accounts. We don’t want Facebook sharing our posts with just anyone, and perhaps you keep your Instagram account private, too.

But what happens when Facebook starts to encroach on what you like to keep separate? For example, Facebook has a “suggested friends” page where it connects you with people in your social circles – maybe someone you knew back in high school or through a previous employer, and you would like to friend him/her. But what happens when the suggested friend is someone you don’t care to see again – say a Tinder date gone wrong?

Apparently, this is happening more and more, but strangely, no one really knows why. News website Motherboard investigated the link between Facebook and dating apps like Tinder and OkCupid, to see where the connection lies and if they are sharing information unbeknownst to their users.

According to Motherboard, Tinder, OkCupid and Facebook all deny sharing information with each other. Plus, most of these unwanted contacts that are suggested to Facebook users share no Facebook friends nor do they have a shared workplace history or any other connection besides being a potential or previous date.

So exactly how are these apps and Facebook tracking movement (and connections) we don’t necessarily want them to see? Shouldn’t your online dating life be kept separate from your social media circles until you meet someone special and YOU want to include them in your circles? Probably the last person you want to see as a Facebook friend suggestion is your one-night stand from two weeks ago or the date who stood you up.

So why does this keep happening? The answers are unclear. As the companies deny sharing information, there are other ways that your connections can leave a digital trail that makes its way to Facebook.

One such way is through your phone. If you message one of your dates, even if you don’t save the contact information, depending on your Facebook settings the service is able to pull contacts you have messaged and called on your phone to help expand your social circles. Motherboard found one such notice from Facebook while testing this out. The article says: “Facebook does say it bases its suggestions in part on ‘imported contacts,’ but this is something users have to opt into on the mobile app or desktop... I don’t ever remember agreeing to import my contacts, and yet when I checked my “invite history” page I had 900+ contacts saved, apparently were continuously syncing and updating, that I promptly removed. Facebook warned this could make my friend suggestions ‘less relevant.’”

Another reason could lie in Facebook searches. Chances are before a date you want to look up some information about a person over social media, doing due diligence to get to know the person you were about to meet. Perhaps you searched for them on Facebook, which would mean they could show up as a suggested friend – after all, Facebook knows you looked for them, not that you were interested in dating them.

At any rate, these digital connections will continue to increase, so it’s important to be prepared to see people you may not want in your suggested circles. If nothing else, just delete.

Lauren Urasek was surprised when a reporter from a major New York magazine contacted her to interview "the most popular girl on the dating site OkCupid."

The makeup artist and self-proclaimed technology nerd became an internet celebrity when the dating site declared her its most messaged female user in New York City. She made the most of her new-found notoriety, spinning it into an article for xoJane, a Tumblr blog and now a new book.

In Popular: The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City, Urasek offers advice, personal stories and essays to help singletons navigate the crazy world of digital dating. Here are a few of her tips for making the most of your online dating experience:

1. Post photos that are flattering, varied and recent. Flatting goes without saying, but it doesn't count if your pictures are pixelated or highly filtered. Show off the real you. Group shots, sunglasses and outdated photos are also on the don'ts list. Be sure to choose a selection of snaps that feature face and body from different angles, as well as different facets of your personality.
2. Have realistic expectations. It's ok that you want to ride off into the sunset with Prince or Princess Charming. Just don't expect do it on the first date. Someone who seems awesome online may prove incompatible in person. Anticipating instant fireworks puts too much pressure on the date and is bound to lead to disappointment. Focus on more lowkey goals, like having fun and meeting new people.
3. Don't waste your time. Online dating can be a total time-suck. It's easy to fall into the trap of an endless message exchange, but writing back and forth for weeks before meeting can backfire. You don't want to go on a date only to discover that your fiery text chemistry translates to zero chemistry in person. Meet sooner rather than later so you can both move on if the spark isn't there.
4. Answer the compatibility questions. Not every dating service includes these, but if yours does, answer them. They may seem pointless or tedious, but they serve an actual purpose. Whether or not you believe in a dating algorithm's scientific accuracy, there's something to be said for knowing that you have common interests and values (or don't) with people you're interested in.
5. It's ok to be single. Despite being OkCupid's most popular female user, Urasek says she's happily single. If your swipes and messages and winks don't lead to love, that's ok too. Don't let societal pressure to couple up get to you. Being comfortable with your self is just as – if not more so – important.

Urasek's debut book Popular is available now on Amazon.

A recent article in The Wall Street  Journal pointed out the importance of using correct grammar in your online dating profile. According to surveys done in recent years by dating websites OkCupid and Match.com, grammar is by far one of the most important aspects of an online dating profile. If you mix up “your” and “you’re,” many daters will move on to the next.

But why is this? Aren’t people more concerned with great photos, as we’ve seen with apps like Tinder and Grindr? Why should online daters care about how people write – it isn’t necessarily an indication of who they are in real life or how great a match they would be. Besides, aren’t most daters attracted to physical appearances rather than writing style?

Apparently not. Match.com found that 88% of women and 75% of men in their survey of 5,000 singles said they cared about grammar most, putting it ahead of a person’s confidence and teeth.

The WSJ attributed this trend to the rise of dating apps and the common use of text slang, with abbreviations like YOLO (You only Live Once) replacing standard phrasing and sentences. While messaging has now become more of a convenience than an art, grammar has fallen by the wayside, and one way to make yourself stand out among the millions of other daters out there is to approach communicating with someone as though you put in some effort. After all, most dating apps don’t require much more effort than a swipe.

In other words, think about your professional life and how much time and care you put in to communication with your bosses and co-workers. When you send an email to a group of work colleagues, chances are you spell-checked it before pressing the “send” key, and most likely it isn’t filled with acronyms for every common phrase. If you apply the same protocol to online dating, it might seem a bit formal at first, but it definitely scores you more points. The person receiving your message is more likely to take you seriously because it looks like you have put in more time and effort.

In other words, you come across as smart and caring. Thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Grammar has been important in the online dating scene for a while, even before the popularity of texting and dating apps made bad grammar much more common. Dating websites like Match and eHarmony encouraged users to use complete sentences in their profiles and check for spelling errors. Wouldn’t you be turned off if someone you didn’t know turned in a report or emailed you with a couple of brief sentences, rife with misspellings?

A little effort goes a long way.

OkCupid has built a strong reputation for taking a more progressive approach to online dating. Back in 2014, the company began offering users more options for self-identification. Gender was expanded to include agender, androgynous, genderfluid, intersex, and more. Choices for sexual orientation were also extended, including asexual, pansexual, queer, and questioning.

Now OkCupid is continuing its efforts for more inclusive representation. The company recently launched a new project called 'Identity' to encourage conversation about sexual orientation and gender identity.

“When OkCupid expanded the available gender and orientation options,” reads the Identity website, “we realized there was a larger conversation taking place. Because dictionary definitions aren’t always able to tell a story, we went to real people to add some color to this evolving language. Here are descriptions from those who claim these words for themselves.”

If only all breakups ended as well as this one.

IAC/InterActiveCorp announced recently that Match.com, Tinder, OkCupid, and other dating services would become part of their own spinoff unit. The subsidiary will be called The Match Group and will be a publically traded company. Following the news, shares of IAC rose over 5%.

According to the announcement, The Match Group is likely to issue less than 20% of its common stock. The IPO is expected to be completed in the fourth quarter of this year, after which investors will be able to buy stock in the company. So far, the ticker symbol (the three-or-four letter identifications that represent companies on stock exchanges) is unknown.

The Match Group is starting out on top. IAC/InteractiveCorp is a $6 billion media conglomerate, and revenue of the new Match Group accounted for nearly one third of IAC's total revenue in the most recent quarter.

Last quarter, The Match Group reported revenues of $239.2 million, marking an increase of 13% on a year-over-year basis. Reports say Match Group’s revenues are expected to increase 18% in 2015, bringing the number to $1.24 billion.

The hope with separating the Match Group, and combining more established businesses (like Match and Meetic) with earlier stage businesses (like Tinder), is that the move will lead to significant cash flow generation and meaningful growth potential.

Or, as Chariman and Senior Executive Barry Diller colorfully put it, “I'm not a believer in simply agglomerating assets in perpetuity. I've long felt that as entities grow into size and maturity it's healthy to give them separation and independence from a mother church."

It's an exciting time for the industry, but dating services haven't always done well on Wall Street. AshleyMadison forfeited an IPO in 2011. Zoosk filed for an IPO in April 2014, but withdrew the application in May 2015. Hinge, on the other hand, skipped the IPO entirely, instead relying on raising capital from venture capitalists. In 2014, Hinge had raised $12 million.

The Match Group will also face stiff competition from other key listed players like Spark Networks and Jiayuan.com. Still, IAC believes this IPO can give new life to the Group. Estimated EBITDA for The Match Group in 2015 is $264.9 million – and that's excluding the $75 million EBITDA anticipated from Tinder alone.

A well-received IPO could not only put IAC significantly ahead of its competitors, but also serve as a litmus test for the entire dating industry.

IAC is no doubt a leader in the dating market, with such prominent online dating brands as Match.com, Tinder, and OkCupid, which make up a company subsidiary called The Match Group.

The Match Group has announced its plans to launch its first IPO, making the company available for investment dollars from the general public. Match.com has long been a cash cow in the online dating industry with its paid subscription service, and Tinder with its new premium paid service has been reported to be worth about $1 billion by the end of the year. In fact, the combined revenues of all the companies in The Match Group accounted for nearly one third of IAC's overall revenue in the most recent quarter. They're also growing rapidly, surging 13% year-over-year in the most recent quarter to about $239 million.

Greg Blatt, Chairman of The Match Group said in a statement: "The Match Group is poised for substantial growth in the coming years. The dating industry has come a long way since its inception, but the category remains underpenetrated.  We believe the combination of our more established businesses such as Match, Meetic, and OurTime, and earlier stage businesses such as Tinder and OkCupid, creates an attractive combination of significant cash flow generation, strong margins and meaningful growth potential.” 

This comes at a good time, as Zoosk recently pulled its plans to launch an IPO, leaving the dating space wide open for potential investors. Ashley Madison, a dating site for infidelity, was quick to throw its hat in the ring, too. They are planning a second attempt at an IPO for later this year after a forfeited attempt in 2011.

The Match Group joins other prominent and publicly traded online dating services, notably Spark Networks, which owns several niche dating sites such as JDate, Christian Mingle, and BlackSingles.com, as well as Jiayuan.com, the largest online dating site in China.

After the IPO, investors will be able to buy stock in the company, although the ticker symbol is not yet known. Notably, IAC made the decision to split The Match Group from its parent company to do the IPO.

Barry Diller, IAC’s Chairman and Senior Executive said in a statement: "As many know from our actions over the last 20 years, I'm not a believer in simply agglomerating assets in perpetuity.  I've long felt that as entities grow into size and maturity it's healthy to give them separation and independence from a mother church.”