Types (Niche)

Maybe you're not a gamer, but a new study by Stanford's Virtual Human Interaction Lab brings up an interesting conundrum. Researchers found that online avatars (our own virtual representations) could cause us to take on certain personas in the real world. Specifically, sexy avatars are making women objectify themselves in real life.

Researchers immersed 86 participants into a virtual reality world, giving some sexualized avatars (dressed suggestively in short dresses, high heels, and tight shirts) and others conservative, neutral avatars (wearing jeans, jackets, and tennis shoes). When asked about the gaming experience afterwards, the women with sexualized avatars were more likely to talk about their bodies. More than that, if they found themselves physically identifying/ resembling their avatars, they were more likely to believe sexist myths like women are manipulative.

Women with sexualized avatars actually started to see themselves as objects, rather than as human, during the course of the study.

While this study was specific to the relationship between women and avatars in the virtual gaming world, it made me wonder how our online images in general affect our real-life personas, especially in online dating. If you create a profile to project a certain image to potential dates, do you start thinking of yourself in a different way in real life?

Or to take it one step further, think about your social media profiles - Facebook, Twitter, and the like. Do you sometimes post comments or report a specific status to cast yourself in a certain light? For instance, do you post comments about the parties you attend or who you're meeting as opposed to saying "watching television in my pajamas and eating mac and cheese." If you post pictures of yourself in sexy dresses at bars, do you think of yourself differently than if you just post pictures of yourself hiking in your sweats and running shoes?

It's an interesting subject to consider. We are more than what we do in our day to day lives, we are also our online images. Many people we interact with online we don't see that often. Our image of ourselves can be crafted, and in turn make us think that who we are online is really who we are.

So what does this mean for online dating? We all want to present our best selves, so we pick photos that we think make us look sexy or powerful or confident, and we craft profiles to emphasize how we're sexy or confident or successful. This can make a first "real life" meeting nerve-wracking, because you will be compared to your online persona.

One thing is for sure, the virtual world is shaping all of us.

A few years ago, Match.com became a household name when it comes to online dating. Now that mobile apps like Tinder have gained popularity and people are looking to newer and niche online dating sites like JDate or How About We, people are starting to see what else is out there.

In fact, social media, and Facebook in particular, are becoming players in the game. While traditional sites rely on new sign-ups and static searches, social media-friendly dating sites and apps pull information from a vast pool of active Facebook profiles and introduce you to friends of friends in your network. This has become a big draw for people, because most singles feel more comfortable meeting someone new if they have a friend in common. This is especially true for women, who are sometimes skeptical of the safety of online dating.

According to an article in Wall Street Cheat Sheet, entrepreneurs are just beginning to understand the importance of utilizing social media in industries like online dating, which could mean big revenues in the future. LinkedIn has gained traction in the social media space because the platform focuses solely on job seekers and networkers looking for career opportunities. There is a sense of trust when someone comes recommended for a job by a mutual friend or co-worker, so companies are looking to the service to attract new employees. So why not apply the same principal to those looking for a date?

Anything with a cutesy smiley face in the logo has to be good, right? Or maybe that's just my inner 13-year-old girl talking. Either way, when I discovered MeetMe.com and its accompanying kitschy logo, my curiosity was piqued.

MeetMe calls itself a social discovery application that connects members through games and apps on the web and mobile phones. MeetMe was initially founded under the name myYearbook by two high school students, Dave and Catherine Cook, and their older brother Geoff, during Spring Break of 2005. Following humble beginnings at the suburban New Jersey high school they attended, myYearbook partnered with game developer Arkadium to bring Flash based games and a virtual currency, called Lunch Money, to the site.

After that, there was no stopping the site's momentum. An entire virtual economy developed from the Lunch Money currency, including the ability for members to donate to their favorite charity using the Causes application. The site added Meebo instant messaging to provide real-time chat and Chatter, a real-time stream that incorporates media sharing and gaming. Games available inside the stream include Ask Me, Rate Me, and 2 Truths and a Lie.

myYearbook made further efforts to improve its members' experiences by launching applications for the iPad, iPhone, iPod, and the Android operating system. It also rolled out a new site design in 2010 that was created by crowd sourcing ideas from the site's members. Finally, in June of 2012, the site was renamed MeetMe and its current incarnation was born. With its fresh focus on introducing new people instead of reconnecting old acquaintances, MeetMe has seen a great deal of success.

Where MeetMe really excels is making the meeting process fun. There are matches and search options just like typical dating sites, but MeetMe has many more entertaining things to offer. Users can ask each other questions and follow a continuously updating live feed that features the answers of other local members. There's also a blind date game for braver souls, and a game called "Owned!" in which you can buy and sell friends using Lunch Money (and earn half the profit when you sell someone or your photo is bought).

Of course, there is also no shortage of more traditional games for users to play. You name it, it's there. Arcade games, casino games, word games, strategy games, card games...everything you could ever want to play is available, from air hockey, to blackjack, to a Pac-Man knockoff, to crossword puzzles and solitaire.

Admittedly, I'm not sure how a card game that's meant to be played solo can help you meet other people, but hey - at least you have the option.

To find out more about this dating service you can read our new review of MeetMe.com.

The great thing about online dating is that it opens up the opportunity to meet millions of people you never would have met otherwise.

The downside to online dating is that it opens up the opportunity to meet millions of people you never would have met otherwise. It's hard enough to choose a mate in real life - how can you possibly be expected to choose one when the digital pool you're picking from is so vast?

Enter the solution: niche dating sites. Online dating giants like Match and eHarmony may have the greatest name recognition, but niche dating sites are rapidly finding their way into the spotlight. Here's why:

1. You already have common ground. One of the hardest things about online dating - and about dating in general - is getting the conversation started. On nice dating sites, you already know you have at least one thing in common. No need to stress out about coming up with the perfect conversation starter.
2. Quality over quantity. Yes, the number of options on a niche dating site will be smaller than the number of options on a major dating site, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's easy to get lost in the crowd on a big dating site, but on a niche site you could easily find yourself connecting with someone you missed the first time around.
3. Passion is encouraged. Maybe you hesitated to talk about your sci-fi obsession, religious beliefs, or committed vegan lifestyle on your OkCupid profile for fear of scaring away potential dates. But on a niche dating site, you're supposed to bond over your passions, hobbies, and beliefs. You can be who you really are, and meet interesting people while doing it.
4. Having fewer options is actually a good thing. Remember what I said about how hard it is to make a decision when you have so many options? That's actually a scientifically proven fact. Research done at Northwestern University found that being presented with too many possibilities can actually make it more difficult for you to pick one. The fact that niche dating sites have fewer members might actually work in your favor.
5. They get to the root of compatibility. 81% of singles agree that sharing an interest in the same activities is one of the most important factors in a successful relationship. It's not that you can't find that on a major online dating site, it's just that niche dating sites have already done a lot of the hard work for you.

Does all that mean you should delete your Match.com profile immediately? Of course not. But you should consider adding a niche dating site to your online dating regimen. You never know where your next love might be hiding.

A recent article in The New York Times interviewed Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, whose name is not well-known in the dating world. But it should be.

Back in 1998, Rabbi Deyo was brainstorming with some friends in his L.A. living room about how he could best serve the local Jewish community. This group included many entertainment industry execs, including game show producers. When the subject of love and how to meet romantic partners came up, the concept for speed dating was born.

A few weeks later, the rabbi was at a local Coffee Bean blowing a whistle as couples table-hopped one to the next, spending ten minutes at a time talking to each person. Little did he know the impact it would have in the dating world.

Soon, speed dating started popping up everywhere. It was no longer just the rabbi's idea - others had taken hold of it and used it in their local towns and communities. Speed dating was even featured in an episode of Sex and the City, where it was exposed to millions of people who were interested in trying it.

Since then, speed dating companies have expanded around the world. While the popularity of speed dating has waned in recent years, it is still a concept that many people find intriguing, if fewer are willing to try.

As a former speed dating host, I saw my fair share of awkward first dates and conversations that were stilted. They informed me of how to be a more engaging date. I was also inspired by the many people who put themselves out there to find love.

Speed dating is an interesting way for single people to meet. Some think it works best to introduce people who come from a similar culture, background, profession, etc., who would find it otherwise hard to meet people of their same faith or occupation but who have something in common. It gets a little more complicated when an event is open to the public. There isn't much filtering that can be done at events, other than by age or location. So, you really don't have much control over the types of people you're meeting.

While this can be frustrating, it can also be liberating. You could meet someone that you'd never choose on an online dating site, but in person you hit it off. Also, it forces you to engage with people who aren't necessarily your type. Speed dating is a great way to get past all those hang-ups we have about who we "should" date. It shows you that there are many kinds of people in the dating world, and some of them may surprise you.

It seems that the desire for online dating has reached even the most religiously conservative societies. According to The Jerusalem Post, the Palestinian Authority's Supreme Council has legalized online dating, but with a catch. Daters must abide by Shari'a rules, which means communication between members must be with the intent to marry.

Though Islamic scholars have dismissed online dating in the past, the council stated that the mingling of men and women online was now "a central characteristic of our time" and "unavoidable." This opens the door for many Muslims to date outside their social circles and provides more opportunity for meeting people than ever before.

Islamic dating websites have emerged in recent years, modeling themselves after other popular religious dating sites like JDate. But many Islamists, including Palestinians, already converse freely over social networks like Facebook and Twitter, according to The Times of Israel. It seems that allowing online dating was the obvious next step.