Statistics

I dream of the day when I can stop writing about this.

I spent years hearing about the social stigma that surrounded online dating. Then it was "Hooray - the stigma is over!" And now media outlets are halfway back to where they started, pulling a massive "Just kidding!" on all of us. These days, the headlines proclaim that, although we are using dating sites and mobile apps to find partners more than ever before, we're still kinda embarrassed by it.

Good grief. Can't we just make up our minds already?

The latest to jump on the Just Kidding bandwagon is The Washington Post, which recently published an article that bluntly addressed the problem: "As dating apps grow in popularity, people still feel some stigma."

"More and more people are doing it," the article begins, "but no one wants to talk about it. On the record, that is." There's no doubt about the first half of that statement. The recent Pew study on online dating found that 11% of American adults have given it a try - a figure that shows a massive jump from the 3% it was at five years ago. Among Internet users who were currently single and looking for a partner, 38% had decided to give online dating or mobile apps a go.

Yet, according to the same study, 21% of Internet users also agree with the statement: "People who use online dating sites are desperate." That's an eight-percentage-point decline from the Pew study in 2005, but still...ouch. Why are we still so inclined to pass judgment on those who use their laptops and smartphones to find love? Especially when we've probably tried it ourselves (or at least been tempted)?

"I think people don't like to admit that they are having trouble in their romantic life," said Eli Finkel, a social psychology professor at Northwestern University. "That concern is misplaced. It is totally normal to figure out who is compatible for you." Finkel, who published a critical analysis of online dating last year, has seen everything online dating has to offer, from the highest highs to the lowest lows, but he remains a firm supporter. "In general," he said, "it is a great thing that exists."

On the ground, however, feelings are still mixed. The Washington Post spoke to one man who said that he and his friends consciously keep online dating out of most of their conversations and off their social media profiles. "We don't want to put something that is supposed to be like a dating, personal ad into our real world," he says. "I think that delineation, that separation from online-date persona and in-person social situations, is a real thing."

Another man praised the anonymity offered by dating services, because he doesn't think the world is ready for people like potential bosses to search his name and see it tied to the latest dating mobile app. "More and more people are having those conversations," he said. "But we're still not at the point where everyone is comfortable."

What does Netflix have to do with online dating?

No, it's not the fact that spending a lonely Saturday night solo with your Netflix queue makes you think "I should really give online dating another try."

Actually, that might be true too, but that's not the connection we're talking about here. What we're talking about is algorithms. In the same way that Netflix uses an algorithm to recommend movies a user might like by tracking that user's viewing history, online dating sites use a person's contact history to recommend partners with whom they might be more compatible.

Kang Zhao, assistant professor of management sciences in the Tippie College of Business at the University of Iowa, and doctoral student Xi Wang were part of a team that developed a more successful online dating formula. The team used data provided by a popular online dating service. They examined 475,000 initial contacts involving 47,000 users in two US cities over 196-day period.

Out the 28,000 men and 19,000 women studied, men were far more likely to initiate conversations. Men made 80% of the initial contacts, only 25% of which were actually reciprocated. To improve that rate, the researchers developed a model that recommended more suitable contacts based on two factors:

• A user's tastes (determined by the types of people the user contacted in the past)
• Attractiveness/unattractiveness (determined by how many of those contacts were returned and how many were not)

As it turns out, the combination of taste and attractiveness do a far better job of predicting the success of a connection than the self-reported information online daters enter into their profiles. Why is that? Some online daters are deliberately misleading while others, Zhao theorizes, simply might not know themselves well enough to identify their real tastes in a partner.

Zhao says the existing model for online dating algorithms leads to a return rate of about 25%, but claims that his team's model could boost that rate to 44%. According to the researchers, their model performs best for males with athletic body types connecting with females with athletic or fit body types. The model also works well for women who indicate they "want many kids" and for users who upload a large number of photos of themselves.

So it looks like you'll have no trouble finding a date for next Saturday night if you're an exercise enthusiast who looks forward to breeding and can't stop uploading selfies to Instagram.

Most daters are reluctant to reach out to someone of a different race on an online dating site, but will respond if they are approached first, according to a new study.

Although we think of ourselves as a post-racial society, the study showed clearly that the vast majority of online daters prefer to initiate contact with daters who share the same ethnic background. It seems most people feel comfortable dating, or at least reaching out to people with the same ethnic background. There's no clear data yet on why, though the assumption is that people expect to have less in common with others who don't share their heritage.

The data was different however, when daters were approached by someone outside their race. They were more likely to respond because someone else had reached out and said he/she was interested - in a sense, breaking the ice. Interestingly, these daters then would reciprocate - they were more likely to search and reach out to daters outside their race in future interactions. The lesson? It pays to make the first move.

Kevin Lewis, a researcher at University of California San Diego who headed the study told the New York Daily News, "We expect that someone from a different background wouldn't be interested in us. The willingness to reciprocate may tell us more about site users' 'real' preferences than their willingness to initiate contact."

The group most likely to initiate contact outside of their own race were white males. Asian women stood out too, as they were more willing to communicate with men outside of their race than within it. Once contacted by someone from another race, their exchanges went up 238%.

The study was published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, and researched over 126,000 OkCupid users to find out about their messaging preferences when it comes to dating outside of their race. They looked at messages sent between October and December of 2010. All identifying information related to OkCupid member messages was blocked, so that researchers only saw race, gender, and the timestamp of the messages in addition to the content.

Even though interracial marriages have increased significantly over the last 30 years according to the latest Pew research, with one in twelve marriages being mixed-race, we haven't known much about the behaviors and preferences of online daters and how many of them are open to dating outside of their race. This has been the first study to give insight to the early stages of a relationship in terms of race.

The number of Americans using Internet dating services has tripled over the last five years, says a detailed new survey by the Pew Internet Project. Based on interviews with 2,252 American adults, the survey also found a few ways in which dating in the Internet age differs for men and women.

Undesirable contact and outright harassment are considerably bigger issues for women who date online. 42% of female survey respondents say they've been subjected to unwanted approaches, compared to only 17% of men who say the same. The same goes for social networking sites, where 33% of women and only 19% of men say they've blocked someone who was making them feel uncomfortable.

Though those differences aren't insignificant, both sexes also have plenty in common. Men and women have similar success rates when dating online. 22% of online daters, regardless of gender, say they found a long-term relationship or a marriage using Internet dating services. Both men and women are also equally likely (54%) to complain about being misled by someone whose profile was deceptive.

And what the sexes really agree on is what they're actually using the Internet for: snooping. When Pew conducted its last major study on the role of the Internet in Americans' love lives, using search engines and social networking sites to keep tabs on exes and investigate future romantic prospects was not nearly the phenomenon it is now. That was back in 2005, before Facebook had officially become available to the general public and before smartphone usage had exploded.

Now, with those and many more technological innovations, it has become infinitely easier to get our snoop on. Just 11% of daters admitted to conducting online searches for information about dates in 2005. Now nearly a quarter of Internet users (24%) say they are guilty of researching dates and the number goes up (38%) if they're actively involved in the dating scene. 29% say they have searched online for information about someone they are currently dating or are considering dating, a number that was only 13% in 2005.

6 out of 10 Americans are now users of social networking services, which we have also turned into tools for stalking former flames. 1 in 3 say they've visited an ex-partner's profile to see what they've been up to. 30% of social network users who are active daters report using such services to collect intel on potential partners as well. For Internet users aged 18 to 29, that number jumps to 41%.

Like it or not, most of us have snooped at one point or another and it begs the question: which would we be more willing to give up, our ability to find new partners on the Internet, or our ability to find out about partners on the Internet?

Things we were into in 2013: Nelson Mandela, the iPhone 5s, bingewatching, twerking, Bitcoin, Bat-Kid, Breaking Bad, the royal baby, Grumpy Cat, and screaming goats.

Earlier this month Google released its annual Zeitgeist List, a collection of the top Google searches for the last 365 days that reveal what defined the year in pop culture, politics, technology, and more. "Every day, around the world, we search," Amit Singhal, senior vice president and Google Fellow, wrote in a Dec. 17 blog post. "We want to find out more about our heroes, explore far-away destinations or settle a dinner-table dispute between friends."

Because of that compulsive urge to search anything and everything online, Google is given unprecedented access to what captures the public imagination. The year-end Zeitgeist list uses Google Trends and other internal data tools to tap into the top trending searches of 2013 from 72 countries, and create a snapshot of the biggest people, places, moments, companies, and gadgets of the year.

Online dating plays an increasingly large role in the way we meet and choose our partners, so naturally Google included the year's most popular online dating services on the list. According to Google Zeitgeist, 2013's top ten dating services are:

1. Match.com
2. Chemistry.com
3. PlentyOfFish.com
4. Zoosk.com
5. eHarmony.com
6. FriendFinder.com
7. Tinder
8. Hinge
9. OurTime.com
10. OkCupid

Many of last year's entries are back again, though none retained the same positions. Match moved up a spot from #2 to #1, while PlentyOfFish dropped from the first place to third. OkCupid took a major hit in 2013, falling to #10 from #3 in 2012. Zoosk climbed a couple of spots to the forth position, and eHarmony fell slightly to fifth.

DateHookup, ChristianMingle, AdultFriendFinder, JDate, and SinglesNet all ranked last year but failed to make it on the 2013 Zeitgeist list. Instead, FriendFinder, OurTime, Chemistry, Tinder, and Hinge came from behind to take their place.

The most interesting additions to the list are, without a doubt, those last two. Tinder uses Facebook profiles to match members who respond with a simple left or right swipe to say "Yes" or "No." Hinge appears similar at first glance, but uses a "romance graph" to pair you with friends of friends that best suit your style - in other words, Tinder might get you a great hookup, but Hinge will find you a great relationship. Mobile dating took off in a big way this year, and shows no sign of stopping, so expect to see even more mobile services on the 2014 Zeitgeist report.

Newsflash #1: the new study from the Pew Internet & American Life Project says that online dating is now completely commonplace.

Newsflash #2: that is totally not a newsflash. There's pretty much no one left on the planet who doesn't know that online dating is a perfectly acceptable way to meet your partner these days.

This latest study to look into the world of online romance says that 11% of American adults have tried online dating sites, 38% of whom identify as "single and looking for a partner." And if they themselves aren't searching for love online, they almost certainly know someone who is: 42% of American adults who use the Internet say they are personally connected to someone who uses a dating site.

The last time Pew asked Americans about their dating habits was 2005, and as you can imagine, things are more than a little different now. Since then, the rate of people who find long-term relationships using online dating sites has soared dramatically, from 15% of Americans in 2005 to 29% of Americans in 2013. The biggest booms have been seen amongst college graduates, individuals in higher income brackets, and singles over age 65.

For the most part, attitudes towards online dating are positive. 59% of those Pew surveyed say they believe online dating is a good way to meet people, which explains why 46% of them are using dating sites to find a long-term relationship or marriage.

Still, it's not all good news for online dating. Many believe that having easy access to so many potential partners actually reduces the chance of finding a long-term relationship, and a fifth of respondents say they feel that online dating is "desperate" despite all the progress it's made. That number, however, has dropped from where it was in 2005 and will likely continue dropping.

Online daters are also concerned about other users lying about themselves online. The majority say they have encountered someone who they felt "seriously misrepresented" himself or herself on a dating site, while 28% report being contacted by someone through a dating service or app in a way that made them feel uncomfortable.

On the whole, though, online dating is marching confidently and triumphantly into the future. And that future, for those who are curious, is probably in mobile apps. For now only 3% of American adults say they're using their smartphones to find love, but with mobile usage increasing in leaps and bounds all the time, it's bound to conquer the dating world soon.