Palestinian Authority Legalizes Online Dating

Legal
  • Thursday, November 14 2013 @ 07:06 am
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It seems that the desire for online dating has reached even the most religiously conservative societies. According to The Jerusalem Post, the Palestinian Authority's Supreme Council has legalized online dating, but with a catch. Daters must abide by Shari'a rules, which means communication between members must be with the intent to marry.

Though Islamic scholars have dismissed online dating in the past, the council stated that the mingling of men and women online was now "a central characteristic of our time" and "unavoidable." This opens the door for many Muslims to date outside their social circles and provides more opportunity for meeting people than ever before.

Islamic dating websites have emerged in recent years, modeling themselves after other popular religious dating sites like JDate. But many Islamists, including Palestinians, already converse freely over social networks like Facebook and Twitter, according to The Times of Israel. It seems that allowing online dating was the obvious next step.

New Research Shows Who’s Dating Online in Australia

Australia
  • Tuesday, November 12 2013 @ 06:58 am
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It seems Australians have gotten over the stigma that used to come with online dating. The majority of singles (51%) said they have either tried online dating or are willing to give it a shot. It seems more and more are looking outside their own networks of friends, colleagues and family to pursue a romantic relationship.

So if you're a resident, you might be wondering: who would I be meeting through an online dating site?

Two of the country's most popular online dating sites, eHarmony and RSVP, have pulled research from their membership to reveal the typical Australian online dater. So in case you were wondering, now's your chance to find out before you sign up.

According to eHarmony, which has a user base of about two million in the country, the average Australian online dater has never been married, is in her (or his) early to mid-thirties and works as a teacher. The next most popular professions for females are nursing and retail, and for men - truck driving. It makes sense that singles in such isolated professions, some with shifting schedules, would look for love online.

"Plenty of research exists showing that many people meet their partner at work," eHarmony spokeswoman Sarah Mason told the Sydney Morning Herald. "However, a large number work in an environment which is not conducive to developing meaningful romantic relationships. Others may be too time-poor, or just shirk at the thought of making small talk in a noisy bar after a long day at work."

The research from dating site RSVP differed a bit from eHarmony, however. According to them, the most popular age group is between 25-34, followed by 35-44 year-olds. For these members, the most popular occupation is in healthcare, followed by education and science.

Not surprisingly, most of the women on RSVP want men who are a few inches taller. Both sexes prefer people with green eyes. Also, vegetarians have a 37% higher success rate with other vegetarians on the site.

RSVP has about two million members as well.

While this research paints a picture of the typical online dater in Australia, especially in terms of professions they hold, it doesn't reference all of the diversity found online. Let's face it: people have all different backgrounds, preferences, and reasons for joining a dating site. Variety of choice is more important to online dating than knowing the "types" of people you might see online when you join. People connect based on chemistry, not on profession, height preference, or even the type of food you enjoy. So date with an open mind.

Everyone’s Freaking Out Over OkCupid’s A-List Membership

OkCupid
  • Monday, November 11 2013 @ 06:41 am
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Why is everyone suddenly upset about OkCupid's A-List membership? Anyone with the ability to read - which I assume is the vast majority of the OkCupid userbase - should have known long ago about the little quirk that's been getting everyone's goat this week.

Let me back up a little bit. OkCupid's best functionality, like pretty much every other dating site, is saved for its paying members. Members of OkCupid's A-List receive perks like the ability to browse profiles invisibly, proof that their messages have been opened, and special match search options. It's that last one that's got everybody up in arms all of a sudden.

James Cook of KernelMag.com recently wrote that, by paying the $4.95 monthly fee for A-List membership, you can "make all those fat, ugly people on the internet go away" and called OkCupid's premium search options "eyebrow-raising in an era of tolerance and political correctness."

Whew. Those are some seriously inflammatory, designed-to-cause-outrage-and-garner-clicks statements! But are they true?

Well, yeah, technically they are. A-List members can filter their search results based on body type, so yes - a user could filter out anyone who describes themselves as "overweight," "a little extra," "curvy," "full figured," or "used up." They can also filter their search results based on members' crowdsourced ratings so they are only shown profiles that receive 5/5 stars.

But I think it's shortsighted to focus only on that. Every other body type is also represented, so an A-List member could filter out anyone who describes themselves as "thin" or "skinny" just as easily (not everyone is into that, remember?). Or maybe you're not a fan of the bodybuilder, hyper-muscled physique. No problem - just filter out anyone who calls themselves "jacked."

The thing is, every single one of us is doing this in real life anyway, aren't we? Of course it's shallow - no one is denying that - but it's reality. We make snap judgments about potential dates based on what we are and aren't attracted to all the time. Would life be better if we didn't? Absolutely! But it's not happening any time soon, and I think it's unfair to fault people for having preferences as long as they aren't being narrow-minded jerks about it.

And if they are being narrow-minded jerks about it...well...there's another way to look at this A-List search "scandal." If you hate the idea of people being able to filter you out by your body type, think of it this way: they're simultaneously filtering themselves out of your life. They get what they want and you get fewer shallow jerks in your life...it's a win for everyone.

How To Date After Divorce Without Driving Yourself Insane

Divorce
  • Sunday, November 10 2013 @ 05:05 pm
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Let's face it: dating after a breakup of any kind isn't easy. Dating after a divorce is even harder. And online dating after divorce, especially if you've never dated online before, can be downright terrifying. Some of you will feel like throwing in the towel before you've even entered the ring.

But here's the good news: you're not the first person to date after a divorce, and you certainly won't be the last. The process doesn't have to be stressful if you don't want it to be (and why would you want it to be?).

Here are a few things to keep in mind if you want to date after a divorce without driving yourself insane:

  1. Stop thinking that online dating is for losers. Seriously, this stereotype is getting old. It's well past time to bury it. These days you're practically in the minority if you haven't tried it. In no way is online dating a sign of failure - it's an awesome opportunity to meet people you never would have met otherwise.
  2. Remember it's just a date and there are plenty more out there. In fact, you don't even have to think of it as dating. Just think of it as a chance to meet interesting new people. If you click - great. If you don't - no big deal. Never be afraid to say "next" if it doesn't feel right.
  3. Do your best to manage your expectations. Be honest, because it's the right thing to do, but remember that not everyone else will be. That person who sounds perfect on paper might not be so perfect in person. On the other hand, take a chance on someone who doesn't sound quite right in the beginning - you never know who's going to surprise you.
  4. Meet as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. It's easy to create a fantasy version of someone when you're chatting online. Don't waste weeks wrapped up in make-believe only to find out that you're not actually compatible in real life.
  5. There's no rush. Take it slowly, even if you meet and hit it off right away. If this is the person for you, the bond will grow in its own time.
  6. Have a sense of humor about it. Crazy things can happen when you're online dating. The experience will be so much more rewarding if you can laugh at the lunacy when it happens.
  7. Don't go looking for your next spouse right away. Have fun DATING. If you only date to find the love of your life, you'll probably be disappointed most of the time. If you're also open to meeting a new friend, making a business contact, or just enjoying a few hours of conversation with someone new, you'll enjoy the process so much more.

Micro-Managing the Future

Dating
  • Sunday, November 10 2013 @ 09:48 am
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As you may have noticed, some online dating sites are specifically geared toward certain types of relationships. For example, one site may be dedicated to finding the person you’ll eventually marry; another might focus on one-night stands. In general, the concept is quite useful; if you’re looking for the future Committed Partner and they’re just looking for a one-time hookup, it’s better to know before you get emotionally invested. However - particularly when it comes to a long-term goal like a committed relationship - is there such a thing as too much planning?

Let’s take the example of the One-Night-Stander vs. the Looking-for-Lover once again. In this instance, it makes sense that the cards should be put on the table right away, and both should probably move on to someone else, because the One-Night-Stander can easily find someone else with no strings attached. It’s an immediate conflict of interest between the two.

Now let’s send the Looking-for-Lover on a different date. The potential match is also interested, ultimately, in a long-term commitment. But there’s a problem - the potential match is finishing up their last years working on their PhD. In a few years, they may have to move somewhere else, depending on where their career takes them. So the Looking-for-Lover decides that since the future is so uncertain, and they’re solely interested in something long-term, there’s no point in a second date.

The Looking-for-Lover certainly has a shot at finding someone else compatible with a more secure future, but at the same time, they might have thrown away something valuable with their potential match. Two years is a long time; they might have moved on naturally due to incompatibility, or they might have been madly in love and planning marriage. Looking-for-Lover might have wanted to move with their potential match, or a compromise might have been found. No one can predict what the future could have held.

And so it is when you begin any relationship; even if your ultimate goal is a long-term commitment, you still have to move through the same steps as anyone else, like initial chemistry or surviving the first six months of dating or seeing each other with the flu. No matter how ready or on the same page you both might be from day one, you’ll still have to put in the same amount of time to establish a trusting, communicative, loving relationship.

So as you head out on your first dates, be aware of immediate conflicts of interest, but try to put the long-term plans on a back burner. Even if you’re meeting your future life partner, your lives may look completely different by the time you take that step. Why waste energy micro-managing what’s in the now for what might be in the future?

How Online Dating Sites Use Data To Find Love

Matching
  • Saturday, November 09 2013 @ 08:03 am
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  • Views: 1,312

Every day online dating sites get just a little bit smarter. With every piece of info typed into a profile or search bar, dating platforms collect a new piece of data about how singles look for a partner and what they want in their relationships.

It gets more sophisticated all the time (facial recognition software, anyone?), which has to make you at least wonder if one day the Internet will be better at finding love for us than we are at finding it for ourselves. There's the plot to a Hollywood thriller in there somewhere...

But I digress. To discover how some of the biggest dating sites in the world are matching members, Mashable spoke with the talented men and women behind some of the most high-tech algorithms out there. If you've ever wondered how your personal data is used to find the love of your life, wonder no more.

MATCH

As the largest dating site in the world, Match.com has unprecedented access to dating data. Members fill out anywhere from 15 to 100 questions, as well as free-response essays, and are assigned points based on each parameter in the system. Those with similar point scores have a higher chance of being compatible.

Match also looks into what members say they want in a partner vs. who they actually pursue on the site. By carefully observing members' behavior, Match gets a more accurate picture of what they're really looking for. Match constantly updates and refines its algorithm to make it as effective as possible.

HowAboutWe

HowAboutWe takes a different approach to online dating by encouraging members to get offline and on actual dates.

"Our deepest insight is that it's difficult to predict chemistry online," said Aaron Schildkrout, HowAboutWe co-founder and co-CEO. "That's why our ultimate focus is on actual dates. Get offline - that's where the chemistry happens."

Like Match, HowAboutWe relies on analyzing user behavior to make recommendations. Self-reported data, like political affiliation, is much less important on the site.

COFFEE MEETS BAGEL

Coffee Meets Bagel is at the forefront of the social dating revolution. CMB matches users through a mix of behavior on the site and personal info culled from Facebook.

"People talk a lot about big data these days, but the biggest area of opportunity is incorporating social elements into that through user inputs such as friend recommendations," said Coffee Meets Bagel CEO Arum Kang.

"Ultimately," she added, "we believe, like Facebook does, that our members do a better job than algorithms at regulating human interactions."

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