OkCupid

With OKCupid's recent media buzz over their statistic filled blog posts, it seems to have garnered them some more attention and not all of it is good. One college aged woman wrote about her experience on OKCupid and said:

Stupid, stupid Cupid. This addictive, pixelated piece of crap has robbed too much of my time; time spent reading incoherent, innuendo-ridden messages ...

She wrapped up her post by stating "Don't join OKCupid.com". Her main complaint seems to be that all the guys on the dating site just want to have sex.

Was she being fair to OKCupid? I don't think so. For one thing, I think her expectations were off, especially because of the signals she was sending out. For example, after joining OKCupid and creating a profile she states:

Then, we moved on to uploading pictures. These pictures had to be HOT. We’re talking steamy.

Just like at a club or bar if you dress hot and steamy you're going to attract a certain type of guy, online dating is no different. I'm not saying your profile photo shouldn't be attractive or even a little sexy; it's just if you dial it up too much you should realize the type of guys you are going to attract, the ones looking for a one night stand and not necessary a relationship.

To find out further details about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.

I found an article which talks about the trouble with web traffic numbers. I have talked about this issue before but it is interesting to see it from the point for view of a large dating site like OkCupid. In January comScore reported that OKCupid had 735,000 unique visitors in January, 2010. This was an increase of about 200,000 from a year ago according to comScore. Sam Yagan, OKCupid chief executive stated that:

... comScore was significantly undercounting the site’s traffic.

For proof he gave the author of the article, Carl Bialik a Google Analytics report for OkCupid which showed almost 4.3 million unique visitors last month. This shows that comScore's estimate is off by 600 percent. All I can say is I am not surprised. Web traffic estimates from these types of traffic sites are usually way off the mark. For example our review site is vastly under estimated as well, in most cases over 4 times as much. The other statistic in which Sam Yagan mentioned was that during a normal day in February (Feb 18th I believe) they had 270,000 unique logins to their dating site. With almost a couple hundred thousand people logging in during a 24 hour period, this makes comScore's estimate of 735,000 unique visitors in a month seem laughably low.

Read more about this topic on the WSJ Blogs. To find out about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.

If you missed installment one of this article series on OKCupid’s report on age-based dating practices, click here to read OKCupids Asks: Why Aren’t Men Into Older Women?

According to OKCupid, men are pretty much missing the boat when it comes to the women available in the dating pool. Why? Because they skew their age preferences toward women significantly younger and pay little attention to those even marginally older. Men would do much better, they say, at meeting their goals for a healthy, happy relationship if they didn’t rule out the “older woman.” OKCupid used a sample set of 100,000 female users in their study and narrowed down the case for older women into three key areas: sexuality, attitude and looks.

It’s incredible what OKCupid’s user data revealed about sexual preferences for the female population. The original post has a really cool “heat map” that shows, by sliding a slider from age 18 to 40, how female users’ sexual preferences change with age. The younger lean towards preferring sex once per week, while that preference distinctly changes as you approach and move beyond women in their 30s. (Guys – take note. No more complaints about lacking an active sex life if you’re ruling out women who may be a bit older than you!)

Older women also have healthier perspectives on sexual issues like contraception and STD testing according to the post, with older women feeling more strongly about protected sex and frequent STD testing. In a nutshell, younger females seem to want less frequent sex, do it unprotected and are less interested in regular STD testing. (Guys?)

The overall attitude of the older woman is better adjusted as well, according to OKCupid. Their member profile data indicated that women in their 40s have significantly high levels of self-confidence, are happier with their lives overall and feel that the best days of their lives are ahead of them. Now that’s a refreshing outlook, isn’t it? If you’re worried about getting marched to the altar, however, fear no more. 96% of women in their 40s are content being in a relationship that may not end in marriage, but only 62% of 18-year-old women can say the same.

The final area of comparison: looks. OKCupid cites a misconception that women become less attractive as they get older. They also rule-out those who are in long-term relationships or already married and may tend to pay less attention to their appearances. They concluded: women are equally as attractive, regardless of age. Want a real shocker? Check out the fabulous photos of actual OKCupid users at the end of the article. We think you’ll have a hard time guessing who’s the “older woman!”

Bottom line for the guys: maybe you want to take another look at your age preferences in your online dating profile. If you’re willing to pass up a great sex life with an attractive woman with a killer sense of self-confidence, well – your loss! But they’re out there and waiting – all you have to do is click. For more information on the dating site, check out our review of OkCupid.

Popular online dating website OKCupid recently dug into its member base and asked the question: why are men not seeking women of their equal age or older? According to their post-Valentine’s Day blog entry, the typical user on their site aged 22-30 states age preferences for female matches to be younger. Now, that was worth a deeper look by their staff and what they found might surprise you.

OKCupid’s user base peaks at about 7 million users aged 24 and drops significantly as age increases. This could simply be a factor of OKCupid having developed into an online dating site that caters to a younger crowd or that membership over age 30 decreases because people in those age brackets are in relationships/married. So herein lies the question that OKCupid set out to answer: why are older women on the site having a more difficult time matching-up than their male counterparts?

It all comes down to age preferences stated in the male user’s online dating profile, they say.

While the male to female user ratio on OKCupid stays fairly balanced across the age brackets, men consistently indicate in their user profiles that they prefer dating younger women. While they do indicate that they are open to older women, it’s with much narrower limits. For example: OKCupid’s average 31-year-old male user sets his age range preference for women as 22 to 35 – a full nine years younger but a mere 4 years older. And here’s the shocker – as male age increases, age preferences toward younger women skew even further. They give the example of their median 42-year-old male user typically looking for women up to fifteen years younger but only three years their senior.

Interestingly enough, when OKCupid flipped the coin, they found women to be much more tolerant of age ranges. Women on the site typically message those younger and older than themselves with equal frequency. They also become more open to dating older men after age 29 according to messaging practices tracked on the site.

So with the skew in view, where does that leave men and women in the quest to find a match when age enters the equation? Check out the second installment of this article: OKCupid Says Men Are Looking for Older Women and Just Don’t Know It. For more information on the dating site, check out our review of OkCupid.

We're back to dissect the remaining two myths in OkCupid's "4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures". While their conclusions are unquestionably food for thought, it's important to remember that OkCupid is just one dating site, with its own personality and etiquette. These results might not apply at any other dating site. Still, let's figure out the basic tips we can learn from these last two myths:

Myth 3 - Guys should keep their shirts on Though shirtless "ab shots" are somewhat of a cliché, apparently it's a cliché that works: people respond to a good set of abs. Interestingly, the effectiveness of the "ab shot" decreases with age. Unclear whether that's because the abs themselves are less impressive, or whether those who are older are looking for more than just a pretty package. Conversely, posting a cleavage shot if you're a woman can apparently help keep the messages flowing even as you age. There's no doubt that cleavage will bring you attention at any stage in life, and probably men of all ages will always appreciate a busty woman, but is it the "right" kind of attention? Considering that women tend to post more outdoor shots of themselves as they age, and respond less to the "ab shot," it sure seems like they're looking for more. A related study determined that the skin might bring attention, but actual conversations tend to occur more for people who are doing "something interesting" in their picture.

• What we can take away: If you want attention, flaunting your body will bring it - online or in the real world. It's up to you to decide if it's the kind of attention you want.

Myth 4 - Make sure your face is showing Essentially, it's okay to have a picture that doesn't clearly show your face, as long as it's an interesting photo - enticing or artistic, something that draws the viewer in regardless. This is probably an ultimate example of, "It's okay to break the rules, as long as you really know what you're doing."

• What we can take away: It's definitely a gamble to use an unusual picture. If you're new at this, it's best to stick to the simple and effective, and mix it up later.

And thus, we come to the end of the OkCupid study. Have our perceptions of online photos been dramatically altered? Maybe not - but they've certainly given us more to think about.

For part 1 of this story, read this article and for more about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.com.

The folks from OkCupid are back again to blow our minds - and the lids off some of the common, as they call it, "Myths of Profile Pictures". While, of course, it's best to view any set of data with a critical eye and place it in the proper context (uhoh, I'm channeling my Statistics professor), let's see what we can take away from this study. One thing I'd like you to bear in mind, before we begin: OkCupid is just one dating site, and might have a different ratio of people looking for "hookups" or relationships. Also, success is measured in messages - no clue if those messages were worthwhile, or simply leering. You might get attention, but there's no guarantee it's the kind of attention you want. Now, the "Myths of Profile Pictures":

Myth 1 - It's better to smile This "myth" is somewhat misleading. In general, you can't really go wrong with smiling; what is supposedly shocking is that women also get positive responses by "flirting" directly into the camera, and men get positive responses by brooding at something off-camera. Now, is this really all that surprising? That men respond to a bit of pouty eye contact and women like that tall, dark and mysterious persona?

• What we can take away: Smiling is a still a safe bet. If you really think your best pictures fall into one of the other two categories, you can gamble and see how it pans out. Also remember that smiling sends a host of other messages, like honesty, openness, kindness, that are harder to convey in other types of photos.

Myth 2 - You shouldn't take a picture with your phone or webcam The study found that self-shot photos are marginally more successful, possibly due to the "intimate" feel these pictures have. I say this makes sense; "casual" or "natural" is almost always better than stilted and posed. And today, webcams and phones are much better than they were even five years ago.

A related find in this "myth" is that the "Myspace" shot (taken from above) is incredibly successful for women (even when you remove shots that include cleavage). While this is more surprising, it hints at how we've been changed by social media. OkCupid has a pretty large late-teen, early-twenties demographic, thanks to their quizzes, and these are kids who came of age with Myspace and digital cameras. Undoubtedly their perception of what they find attractive has been shaped by the prevalence of social media. Perhaps in days past, pinups and magazines shaped the most "alluring" poses; now, it's the Internet.

• What we can take away: Go for natural rather than posed pictures, and if you have to do the Myspace thing, you'll be just as successful without featuring the cleavage.

Join me next time to dissect the last two myths, Guys should keep their shirts on and Make sure your face is showing (see Story) .

For more about this dating site, read our review of OKCupid.com.