Types (Niche)

Judgment and dating go hand in hand. Even before online dating became so popular, singles would assess their dates based on a few traits they deemed important – like sense of humor, work ethic, kindness, or how hot they looked in a pair of jeans - to see whether or not they were worth a second date. But at least you could go on a first date knowing essentially nothing, hoping for the best. You had to deal with the element of surprise before you were allowed to judge.

Now, all of the mystery has been removed from dating. Dating websites like OkCupid allow you not only to see the profiles of potential dates and pick them apart, but you can also see ratings given by other people (that is, if you pay $10 for the premium service). If one of your matches gets two stars out of five, you’d be less likely to ask him/ her out. After all, aren’t we influenced by the opinions of others?

The more important question is: should we be so influenced, especially when it comes to meeting someone for the first time?

Dating apps like Lulu are focused solely on reviews. The app was intended to be a place where women could get feedback about potential dates before they decided to go out with them, kind of a girlfriend safety mechanism. But it is actually more like a Yelp for dating – where women rate guys according to their looks, how they behaved on a date, sense of humor, and other qualities. So if a guy receives a low score, women who check him out on Lulu would probably avoid dating him.

The problem with this rating system is two-fold. First, the numbers can be skewed. Sure, maybe the guy is a jerk and has twenty women who will agree with that assessment. Then his low rating makes sense, and other women would want to know before going out with him. However, if a guy only has a couple of reviews, and one of them is from a jilted ex, then it brings his overall score down. In fact, what’s to stop any woman from retaliation through Lulu’s rating system?

The second problem with Lulu’s system is that it disqualifies too many potential dates based on factors that might not be important to every woman. For instance, maybe a man’s sense of humor rates low because the women he’s been out with didn’t understand his quirky style. Does that mean you – his next potential date – shouldn’t go out with him? What if his sense of humor is exactly your type?

Rating systems serve a good purpose in dating as far as warning women of potentially bad dates. But if you base whether or not to take a chance on someone solely on a rating system, you are severely limiting your options. Because you never know who the right guy for you is until you actually meet him.

When people talk about the shot heard round the world, they typically mean a gunshot. In this case, it was the fatal dose of heroin injected into Google executive Forrest Hayes. Hayes met his untimely death on a yacht, during a tryst with a prostitute named Alix Tichelman who allegedly administered the drug.

The not-so-unlikely pair (let’s face it, rich techie types and sex workers have always gone together well) met on SeekingArrangement.com, a popular Las Vegas-based site where sugar babies set up profiles to meet sugar daddies. It seems like Seeking Arrangement CEO Brandon Wade is always in the news for one thing or another, but this might be the first time he and his site have gotten so much national attention.

Wade said in an interview that after Tichelman’s arrest was announced on July 9, Seeking Arrangement’s site traffic doubled and its new member count jumped to 12,000 per day from an average of 2,000. He also said that the site should generate at least twice the $10 million in sales it brought in last year, proving once again that one man’s tragedy is another man’s meal ticket.

Eric Van Susteren of the Silicon Valley Business Journal spoke with Brandon Wade about how Hayes’ death and Tichelman’s arrest are changing the future of Seeking Arrangement – if at all.

Wade has always taken a cavalier approach to his work, and it seems this time is no exception. Is he worried that the case will affect his business negatively? “I don't think so,” he says. “It seems that bad news ends up being good news when it comes to traffic for our website. What I'm more concerned about is making sure we tighten up our policies and look at where people misuse the site and come up with new innovations about where this can happen.”

That being said, he maintains that Seeking Arrangement is one of the “strictest websites in terms of terms of use, website policy and kinds of tools — as well as staff members that we employ — to keep unwanted members out of the site.” And he’s adamant that it’s ultimately not his job, or anyone else’s, to police the activity of members of his site:

“You're talking about adults and they're going to do what they're going to do. If you're bored with your life and shoot heroin up your arm, it's really difficult for a website or any other venue where people meet to dictate what people can or cannot do.”

"Remorseful" isn't exactly the word that comes to mind here. I think it’s safe to say that, notorious death or no notorious death, it will be business as usual for Brandon Wade and Seeking Arrangement.

According to online security firm Symantec, everybody’s favorite mobile dating app is suffering from an “influx of spam bots and fake profiles.”

The presence of spammers and scammers isn't new to online dating sites, but so far it hasn't been a major concern for Tinder users. There are three kinds of spam campaigns currently targeting Tinder users. The first is adult webcam spam, in which bots engage real users in conversation and then try to persuade them to click on links to adult webcam websites.

A second common spam campaign promotes mobile apps, especially games, to Tinder users. Instead of directing people to adult webcam sites, this kind of spam tries to entice them into downloading and playing games like Castle Clash.

The third, and most common according to Symantec, kind of spam campaign involves fake prostitution profiles. These are typically identifiable by photos of women overlaid with text that details services, rates, and contact info. By including the info in photos rather than text, spammers can evade detection from spam filters searching for undesirable keywords in Tinder’s profiles.

What all three kinds of spam have in common is affiliate programs. In each case, the promoted destinations offer spammers money in exchange for converting leads. Spammers stand to make something like $6.00 per lead for a successful sign-up, and up to $60.00 for leads that become premium members. It may sound easy to avoid spammers, but plenty of people are falling for it. Symantec found that some spam links can get hundreds of thousands of clicks.

"For instance,” writes Satnam Narang for Symantec, “from the end of January 2014 until mid-April 2014, a campaign associated with a site called blamcams resulted in nearly half a million clicks across seven URLs. Depending on the offers given by the affiliate program and the number of successful conversions of leads, this particular spammer likely earned quite a bit of money."

So what can you do about it?

Report fake profiles to Tinder. Beneath every profile image there are three red dots. Click that icon to find the option to report the user. From there, a dialog window will open with three options. Select “Feels like SPAM”. It’s up to users themselves to police the Tinder community, so stay alert for fake profiles and spam bots and alert the app’s team so they are detected and eliminated as quickly as possible.

For more on this dating app you can check out our review of Tinder.

The online dating platform took several years for singles to embrace, undergoing much skepticism from the public. Does it really work? many would ask. It seems kind of desperate to join an online dating site, others might remark. There was a lot of judgment and confusion around the process, who joined, and what results it would yield.

Now all that’s changed because of our phones. According to a 2013 report from Pew Research, one in ten Americans have used an online dating site or app. And among singles looking for partners, that number is even higher, with 38% having used dating sites or apps.

It seems that dating apps have become a popular way to meet other singles, especially for people under 30. Gone is the stigma of looking desperate, or worrying about whether you’ll find “the one.” It seems instead people are opting for something that is simple to set up, simple to use, and completely accessible – scrolling through profiles and photos while you are in line at the drugstore, waiting for your friends at the bar, or bored with nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon.

Are people flocking to dating apps because we have become addicted to mobile technology? Or is it because online dating is much easier when you can access it over your phone? Perhaps it’s that meeting people through dating apps feels more like a game than something to take seriously, so it takes all the pressure off of participants?

According to a recent article in Business Insider, it could be all of these things. Regardless of the reasons, we’re starting to see a trend towards using technology for dating – with both online dating and mobile dating apps.

There does seem to be a generational divide. Younger singles under 30 prefer to use dating apps rather than online dating sites, and app developers are going after this market. There are an endless amount of new dating apps popping up every day, each offering something different, but all still relying on a hefty user base. Baby boomers and older daters however, still opt for the more traditional online dating options, which means Match.com and others share a good percentage of the market.

Most dating apps steer clear of the traditional online model of a monthly subscription service. Instead, they are offered for free, as this model tends to attract most users (and let’s face it – the value of any app or online dating site is in the numbers). In order to make money, several app developers have started offering a “freemium” model which gives users the option to pay for added features, like being able to search through more matches at a time, filtering their searches according to specific preferences, or chatting with someone they previously passed on.

Some are making money through advertising, though this can be distracting for users. Wyldfire, a new dating app, has made their advertising model a little more enticing by offering ads as incentives. When members get a certain percentage of likes, they get a discount on a service like Uber as a reward.

Some dating app developers speculate that the market will trim down over the next few years, and only two or three apps will be real contenders. Considering IAC owns most of the market – Match.com, OkCupid and Tinder are part of their roster – they may be right. In the meantime, we’ll have to see how it evolves.

Most things are going brilliantly for Tinder these days, but one thing most certainly is not. Whitney Wolfe, Tinder’s former vice president of marketing, slapped the company with a sexual discrimination lawsuit at the end of June.

In the suit, Wolfe claims her former boss called her a “whore” at a company event in the presence of Tinder CEO Sean Rad and that she was stripped of her status as a Tinder co-founder. When she complained about her treatment to other executives, including Rad, she says they forced her out of the company.

The story goes back to 2013, when Wolfe and chief marketing officer Justin Mateen dated for several months. After they broke up, Wolfe claims Mateen sent her a series of inappropriate text messages and e-mails filled with racist and sexist language. When she complained to Rad and Match.com CEO Sam Yagan, they allegedly ignored her repeated complaints about his behaviour.

Wolfe also contends that Mateen told her she was not listed in Tinder’s press materials as a co-founder because having “a girl founder” who was just 24-years-old (at the time) would devalue the company. Later, after Mateen allegedly called her a “whore” in front of Rad and other co-workers, Wolfe says she offered to resign in exchange for “modest severance” and the vesting of her stock options. Instead, she claims, she was fired.

John Mullan, one of Wolfe’s attorneys, said in a statement that Wolfe “lost her job simply for refusing to take the abuse any longer.” Another one of her attorneys said “IAC and Match.com, which own Tinder, allowed this culture to exist and did nothing to prevent the discrimination or harassment. IAC and Match.com need to be held responsible for their failure to supervise the executives at Tinder. There really was no ‘adult in the room.’”

In response, IAC indefinitely suspended Mateen. “Through that process, it has become clear that Mr. Mateen sent private messages to Ms. Wolfe containing inappropriate content,” the company said in a statement. “We unequivocally condemn these messages, but believe that Ms. Wolfe’s allegations with respect to Tinder and its management are unfounded.”

The story gets more complex when you try to determine who actually is a legitimate co-founder of Tinder. TechCrunch did an in-depth examination of the people involved in Tinder’s creation and it’s…convoluted, to say the least. It’s hard to see how they themselves can keep up with it all (and maybe they can't), much less anyone else.

Wolfe is seeking compensatory damages, including for lost pay and benefits, as well as punitive damages for emotional distress.

Online dating has been around for a while, but dating apps are a relatively new phenomenon and are soaring in popularity. And why wouldn’t they? Most of us have a phone with us at all times, and if you’re single, you’re probably more social than your married counterparts – which means you’re not sitting at home in front of your laptop. But does that mean the matches you get on Tinder are working out for you?

Dating apps are easy to use, the majority of them are free, and they provide instant access to available singles in your immediate area. What’s not to like? The ease and convenience of apps is not lost on some of the more traditional online dating sites, like Match.com, who offer their own apps. But sometimes it’s easier to scroll through the app than it is to actually meet someone new and start dating. So how do you move from texting to an actual date?

Following are 5 tips to help you get past the swipe left/right phase and to the in-person meet:

Try a new app. While everyone seems to be downloading Tinder (if only for the fun of scrolling through photos while you’re waiting in line or on a lunch break), it’s not the only dating app around. Some apps like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel are geared towards the more serious dater, because they offer matches based on your Facebook network, rather than just random people who happen to be near you. Maybe it’s time to check out something new.

Don’t just scroll when you’re bored. Know what you want. What’s your goal in using a dating app? Are you just looking to hook up, or for something more substantial? This makes a huge difference in your experience. If you are looking for a relationship, you might get easily frustrated by Tinder. If so, decide to put time and effort into your search, and be a little more discerning about who you go out with. Don’t meet for last-minute drinks at 10:00.

Check in regularly. “You snooze, you lose” really applies to online dating. If you’re not checking in on a regular basis with your dating site or app, then likely you won’t get the results you want. Again, time and effort is key. You never know from day to day who your matches might bring, so set aside at least 30 minutes a day to check.

Update your photos and profile. Some dating apps have restrictions on the number of photos you can post, or they might just pull info from your Facebook page. If this is the case, be sure to change them out every few weeks. Depending on what you post, you could attract different types of people. Variety is key in dating.

Say “yes” more. Not sure about him/her? Say yes to a match. Start chatting and see what happens. Many times we bypass people unless something really captures our attention. But why? Dating is all about seeing what is possible. Say yes to more people and see your dating life change for the better.