Tinder

The great thing about online dating (well, one of many) is that it can connect people from almost anywhere in the world. The not-so-great thing is that, eventually, one of those people is bound to be someone you wish it wasn't.

A big city seems surprisingly small when swiping leads you to an ex, or a co-worker, or – squick – a sibling. As soon as that familiar face pops up on your screen, the buffer of anonymity you thought you had shrivels up and expires.

Once upon a time, part of the appeal of online dating was the privacy factor. It felt safe. Looking at photos and a profile kept you one step removed from the real human on the other side, making vulnerability easier and rejection less painful.

Now, with more and more people turning to dating sites and apps, you're increasingly likely to run into someone you recognize. Or worse, someone who recognizes you. Kiss that safety net goodbye.

Some dating services are taking steps to ease the awkwardness. Grindr allows users to set geographical constraints and block other users. On JSwipe, users can turn off the ability to be seen by or match with Facebook friends. On Tinder, a simple swipe left means that person will never appear on your feed again.

OkCupid has plans to take things a step further, with new features set to roll out in the upcoming months. One will allow a user to hide their profile from all users by default. It will only be seen by people they actively “Like” or send a message to. The other feature adds the option of connecting a Facebook account, so all Facebook friends are immediately blocked on OkCupid.

While some are fiercely protective of their privacy, others are taking the opposite stance. A handful of Tinder users told The Daily Beast they swipe right on familiar faces as a friendly hello or a way to reconnect platonically with old acquaintances. Some even admitted to using dating apps and sites to keep tabs on exes. Just imagine the trouble location-based apps could get you into under those circumstances.

If the question is “Is online dating – and social media in general – bringing an end to anonymity?” the answer has to be yes. But if the question is “Does it matter?” the answer becomes more complex.

There's no doubt safety is important. Certain info doesn't belong online because it puts you at risk. But beyond that, what's the issue? Insecurity? Vulnerability?

The world will be a better place when we don't feel insecure or ashamed about wanting a relationship, and seeing as vulnerability is key to any strong romantic foundation, perhaps it isn't something to be feared after all.

There's no doubt Tinder is the biggest dating app in the game, but even it is not immune to criticism.

More often than not, that criticism takes the form of concerns that the Tinder profile is too minimal, meaning users swipe with their eyes instead of their hearts.

As criticisms go, it's not the most unfounded. Far from it. Serious daters tend to gravitate to services with more thorough profiles, like Match or eHarmony, or even OkCupid, while Tinder gets relegated to the “hookup app” category.

With a couple of new updates, the tide may turn for Tinder. The first is Instagram integration, which allows users to scroll through the Instagram profiles of potential matches within the Tinder app. A high percentage of Tinder users already include their Instagram handles in their profile, so it's a logical move for the app.

With Instagram integration inside Tinder, users can click into each other's Instagram profiles to see the most recent 34 pictures posted. To see more extensive details like comments and likes, they can click directly into a profile. Users who have private Instagram accounts are presented with an option to grant Tinder access without setting the whole profile to public.

At first glance, it's still all about image – Instagram is the king of visual social media, after all. But dig a little deeper and Instagram also offers plenty of details about a person's life, including interests, activities, and personality insights. An Instagram account can provide useful context for a sparse Tinder profile that makes the person behind it more three dimensional.

A second update adds common connection info, allowing you to see if you share mutual friends with a match. "When you're able to assess the degrees of separation between you and an individual,” Tinder cofounder and President Sean Rad told Mashable, “it adds a lot of value in the form of context, trust and everything."

The final update adds an Interests section to the profile, available to both free and paid subscribers. Users can opt to pull their interests directly from Facebook, creating a more well-rounded, accurate Tinder profile.

“This is the first of many steps to take the recommendations engine to the next level and help you assess the person you’re matching with and start those conversations,” Rad told TechCrunch. “If we can provide our users with more relevant information for each connection, we can take them halfway there in terms of getting a conversation going.”

Recently, Gap came under fire from Tinder executives by posting fake profiles advertising their wares on the dating app, hoping people would swipe right to participate in a new campaign. The problem was that Gap didn’t get Tinder’s permission, so Tinder ordered Gap to take them down.

But Tinder isn't cracking down on fake profiles or spam-like ads for all companies looking to promote (though it did hire an agency who is cracking down on their spamming issue). Tinder only allows companies who are actually paying to post their fake “profiles” - and these companies are reaching their target audience of young consumers in a really big way.

Native advertising on Tinder works like this: the company creates a "profile" targeted to its audience, and uploads to Tinder. From there, users will come across the profile and swipe left or right, depending on if they like what they see. Companies that have done this recently include Starbucks and Dominos Pizza.

But now, it's not only companies looking to advertise - musicians are taking advantage of Tinder’s user base, using the service to promote new videos and album releases. Because musicians are constantly looking for new ways to reach their audiences and gather new fans, they have become more creative in their online promotions. Tinder is the latest tool, and recently did a campaign with singer Jason DeRulo.

Forbes reported that Jason Derulo became the first musician to use the Tinder promotional strategy to launch a new single. When users swiped right, they were given in link to a YouTube page where they could watch the brand new video for his new song, which was also getting a huge push via radio. The campaign was a success: over 1.1 million people swiped right (meaning they liked him) – in three days. The song became a top 40 hit, with 14% clicking through to purchase his song on iTunes.

Of course, it helped that the song was speaking to his target market – daters who are looking for a late-night hook-up, a la Tinder. In the video, DeRulo is shown fantasizing about a woman he had sex with, jumping out of bed in the middle of the night to go to her apartment, where she is of course fantasizing about him, too.

The success of the campaign will surely capture the attention of other musicians and companies who want to appeal to their target audience: young singles. These companies are also finding that effective advertising means meeting these people on their own turf – social media, rather than traditional stuffy ad campaigns. People are much more mobile, and looking at their phones more than looking up at a billboard.

One thing’s for sure, Tinder doesn’t have to worry about meeting revenue goals through subscriptions to its premium (and pricey) service. Companies will likely be more than willing to offer money for campaigns that have this type of success rate.

For more on this popular dating app you can read our review of Tinder.

Last month, Tinder rolled out its new and highly anticipated premium service Tinder Plus, which had been teased in the press with few details for months. But rather than praising its new features, Tinder has been criticized for discrimination. The company charges $9.99 per month for users in their twenties, but once you hit the magical age of 30, the price jumps to $19.99.

Compare this to the price daters pay for a service like eHarmony ($18.95 per month with a 12-month commitment as of this posting), which touts its match-making capabilities, and Tinder seems like a rip-off. After all, the monthly fee for eHarmony includes a lot of filters to help find a more "quality" match - an extensive questionnaire, a detailed profile, and a “communications process” - all aimed at helping you find a lasting relationship. While people do find good matches on Tinder, it's a lot more hit-or-miss.

Still, people seem to prefer the game-like swiping of Tinder. And according to experts, they will probably pay for it – even if they are 30 or older.

A recent article in The Washington Post claimed that there is a war among dating services like Tinder and eHarmony, who are categorizing daters and their behaviors according to their ages. Tinder assumes that younger daters are their target market (after all, the service began with heavy promoton on college campuses before it was unleashed on the greater population). eHarmony however, is going after the more “seasoned” dater, who has had enough with all the hook-ups and wants a real relationship.

The online dating industry is said to be worth about $2.2 billion, with one in ten adults averaging more than an hour a day on a dating site or app. This rise in popularity isn’t a coincidence – it’s gone hand-in-hand with the amount of time we spend on our phones – a near-constant accessory. Tinder appeared at the right time and made online dating seem like a game, and more importantly, removed its stigma.

The popularity of Tinder however has had a cost among daters. There is an assumption that the app is only for hooking up, and that people using dating apps aren’t serious daters. At least, this perception has been what traditional dating sites like eHarmony have been pushing. It founder Neil Clarke Warren told The Washington Post: “They put all their money on one variable: looks. That fills me with quite a few little chills… I have presided over the funerals of more marriages than any psychologist, and it is miserable.”

eHarmony isn't the only one speaking about Tinder's flaws. “There are limits to the percentage of single people who will become active Tinder users and repeating ‘casual daters,'” Morgan Stanley analysts told their clients in February. “And in our view, Tinder is reaching those limits.”

So what does this mean? Is Tinder trying to embrace their young daters as the future of dating, or does eHarmony recognize they will never have a service that’s so addictive and easy to use?

Both services offer very different ways of meeting people, and attract different types of users. But it will be interesting to see who will pay for them going forward.

Female Tinder users have dealt with a lot of inappropriate messages from men when dating through the app – it’s one of the issues challenging dating apps today. Men are particularly aggressive in their flirting, crossing boundaries with their sexual suggestions and then wondering why they don’t hear back.

A California-based computer engineer, who incidentally met his girlfriend on Tinder, had heard a lot of his female friends complaining about the guys messaging them over the dating app. In an interview with website The Verge, he disclosed that he had been able to hack Tinder, matching straight guys with other straight guys to see how their typically aggressive flirting progresses.

"The original idea was to throw that back into the face of the people doing it to see how they would react," the hacker said.

His program identifies two men who swipe right on one of his bait profiles (one using a prominent vlogger’s image, the second one of a friend who had let him use her photos). Then they are matched to each other (since they already have the woman they were originally attracted to in common). The suitors’ messages, according to The Verge, were all “unabashedly flirtatious” and relayed back and forth to each other through the dummy profile. Sometimes, it took several messages before the duped men started to figure out something was off.

The creator of the hack apparently stepped in before things got to heated and the matches decided to meet in person. Most of them seemed very confused after exchanging a few flirtatious emails, only to discover later that they weren’t flirting with women, but other men. The hacker witnessed about 40 conversations in the first twelve hours.

It has been reported that Tinder is vulnerable to hacks. There have been a few instances of people tweaking the app to “mass-like” several women at the same time, improving their odds of getting a match exponentially.

The Tinder hacker looked into Tinder’s API and discovered it had few safeguards. “Tinder makes it surprisingly easy to bot their system,” he said. “As long as you have a Facebook authentication token, you can behave as a robot as if you were a person.”  

When asked how he feels about hacking into Tinder’s system, he has mixed feelings. "They ignore all the signs, they ignore all the weird things," he says of the users. "When someone is so quick to meet up without any detail or know anything about the person at all — maybe it’s deserved."

Before flirting with someone you just met over Tinder, you might want to ask a few basic questions first.

Do you have Tinder overload? You’re not alone. Dating apps have made meeting people easier than ever, but dating behavior can be pretty brutal. Messages go unanswered, and connections are forgotten in favor of swiping left and right. With all of the distractions and annoyances that come with dating today, it’s difficult to get to know someone special.

Maybe it's time to disconnect.

When you’re experiencing frustration and overwhelm, it’s a good time to take a break so you can recharge. A fantastic benefit of being single is learning how to take care of yourself without relying on someone else to come along and do it for you. Instead of dating aimlessly and without much enjoyment, focus on yourself and what makes you happy.

Following are some tips to nurture your heart and soul and get you back and ready to date again:

Get away. There’s nothing that lifts the spirit like a new setting. It’s easy to plan a getaway when you’re single – there’s nobody else’s schedule preventing you from making plans, so take advantage! Plan a weekend getaway with friends or jump in your car for an impromptu road trip, even if it’s just for a day. It will give you a much-needed break from routine.

Set a goal and work towards it. Have you ever dreamed of running a half marathon, or finishing college, or getting that certification for a new career? Now is the time to establish your personal priorities outside of a relationship. When you find someone special, you will still want to challenge yourself – why not start now?

Learn a new hobby or sport. This is the perfect time to explore. You learn about yourself when you try new things – sometimes a new activity can become a stress relief and source of life-long happiness, whether you're in a relationship or not. You never know unless you try. So sign up for Zumba, join a volleyball meet-up, or try out that pottery making class – whatever sounds interesting to you, give it a try.

Relax. Sometimes the stress of dating takes a physical toll on our bodies as well as our psyches. For me, hiking and running were great ways to get out of my own head and truly relax. For others, it’s booking a massage or meeting friends for dinner. Fill your schedule with activities that replenish your spirit, and you will find you have more energy, too.

Meditate or practice yoga. This might sound New-Agey, but yoga and meditation are truly helpful ways to let go of anxiety, and there’s a lot of it in dating. Practice taking deep breaths, sitting still for a period of time, and stretching your body on a regular basis. These techniques help you feel more comfortable in your own skin, and less worried about where you “should” be in life. This is most important when it comes to finding a truly fulfilling relationship – you realize that you are enough, no matter what.