Tips

Who's not looking for love? I mean, aside from your married friends and colleagues, who isn't hoping to find that one special person to spend their life with? It's inevitable that you're going to digitally "run into" someone you know if you're in the online dating scene long enough. What you do when you run into those people, though? Whether a boss, co-worker or friend, we've put together some tips for the best way to communicate during these scenarios:

Scenario 1: You find your boss or go-worker/your boss or co-worker finds you
Awkward to say the least! Have no qualms about the acceptable nature of online dating. After all, your boss apparently thinks it's OK or they wouldn't be on the site. My advice is to not send them a message through the online dating site. Rather, during business hours, ask for a minute of their time and explain the situation to them. Indicate that you saw their profile and fully respect their privacy. Contrarily, if your boss finds your profile, you have to respond to how they chose to handle the situation. If they say nothing, say nothing in return. If they choose to contact you, just indicate that you'd prefer to keep your work and personal lives separate.

Scenario 2: You find a friend/a friend finds you
Did we really think our friends don't date? Well, they do - just like us. And many of them use online dating sites to get the job done. If you come across a friend's profile, no matter how good a friend you are, let them do their thing. Mention to them in person and again, avoid contacting them through the online dating site's messaging system. If you guys are really good friends, many sites have a "suggest a match" feature where you can send your friends on the same site people that they might be interested in. What a great way to build on a friendship! If a friend happens to find you online, manage the situation based on how friendly you two are. If you're close, have a laugh about it. If you're more of an acquaintance with the person, there's no harm in asking them to respect your privacy.

How many dimensions of compatibility? eHarmony says 29. Between you and me, I didn't ever think of breaking my personality, habits, likes and goals into 29 dimensions. I'm a 3-D gal myself, but have to admit that the eHarmony compatibility test is rather in-depth.

If you're looking for an online dating site that takes the legwork out of the dating process for you, eHarmony just might be the way to go. There's no "search" capability. The eHarmony matches you based strictly on the compatibility test you take when you sign-up for a new account. While it may seem as if they're asking you for your birthmarks and first born, it's simply eHarmony's way of getting what they need to know to make more successful matches for you.

The essence of eHarmony's compatibility profile is this: it's a personality test. They're looking for key identifying factors in your personality that will allow them to match you with people who are similar. eHarmony does not subscribe to the old adage that opposites attract. Rather, they're thinking you'll be more at home with people who are similar to you in taste, thought process and social style.

How many questions will you be sitting down to answer? Over 250. When you've stopped blinking and gasping for air, think of it like this: in an hour of meeting someone at a bar, you probably ask one another at least 30 questions. eHarmony is, based on that math, giving you eight to nine hours of conversation potential with their compatibility test alone. Think of it as the best way to tell someone who you are, what you prefer and what you're looking for. That takes more than just 10 quick questions and three profile pictures. And remember: eHarmony is designed as a site for those who want HELP in the dating world, not those who prefer to do their own legwork.

When sitting down to complete the eHarmony compatibility test, give yourself at least an hour. An hour? Indeed! If you need to break it up into two sessions, don't be afraid to do so. We'll admit - that's a lot of sitting. But give yourself the time to answer the profile questions completely and honestly. After all, some of the responses will be visible in your final profile. First impressions - you never get a second chance!

The test will ask you questions about everything from your preferred type of vacation spot to how you handle conflict. They really run the gamut. This is another reason to take your time, as the questions really do require some thought. Just think - if you're going to find someone to spend your life with, you want there to be at least some deep thought involved, right? Here are three tips to help you through the eHarmony compatibility test:

Tip 1: Take Your Time. It's about finding a long-term relationship, not a one night stand. Put the same amount of effort and time into the compatibility profile that you'd appreciate seeing in the matched eHarmony sends you.

Tip 2: There are no "trick questions." Psychological profiling tests are designed to prompt you to choose the most natural answer. Don't overthink the process. Read the question, give it a thought and mark your answer.

Tip 3: If you fail, no sweat. Yes, it's possible to fail the eHarmony compatibility test! Does it mean you're a failure? NO! It simply means that eHarmony doesn't have anyone in their database with whom they think they can match you. They're doing you the favor of saving you $50+ a month. Don't take it personally and try another online dating site.

For further information on this dating site and how it works, read our review of eHarmony.

There are the times where everything is hunky-dory and then…well, the other times, right? You and your partner can blow through your days with nothing but laughter and love but every now and then, you’ll hit a wall with brute force and wonder how you’re going to make it through. I wanted to send along a little conflict resolution advice that you can either take or leave but it’s served me well thus far. Perhaps it’ll serve you, too!

Don’t Yell. Yelling doesn’t do anyone any good. While occasionally, you need to get something off your chest, yelling (as a rule of thumb) only puts the other person on the defensive. And that means they’re going to “turn up the volume,” too! Having a conversation instead of a yelling match will go miles towards a mutually agreeable resolution. Yelling will only bring you closer to buying a year’s supply of ear plugs.

Count to Ten. We all say things we don’t mean. Occasionally, we even mean the mean things we say. To avoid saying things we all wish we could take back, try counting to ten before you let the words fly. Sometimes what you were going to say becomes less important. Sometimes you even think of something more productive to say. Other times, you decide to say nothing at all. It’s amazing what ten little numbers can do to save our hearts and relationships, isn’t it?

You like them. You really, really like them! It’s the coolest feeling in the world when you meet someone you can get excited about and it makes you want to go the extra mile to please them. Without overdoing it, there are plenty of ways to surprise your date and get their attention. We all want to feel that the partner in our lives appreciates us and listens to what we like and don’t. So with that in mind, let’s talk about cool ways you can surprise your date.

Without going overboard and overwhelming your favorite date, think about the things they’re passionate about. Now, these might not be the same things you’re passionate about: remember that. The easiest way to get your date’s attention (aside from being a kind and respectful partner) is to encourage them in all they love in life. It shows your date that you’re not only secure with them being who they are, but that you like that person! During the surprise planning process, don’t make a big deal out of your surprise. Treat it like any other date the two of your share…and they’ll appreciate the twist even more!

Live music. What’s on their iPod? What’s “most played?” Check your local concert roster (radio station websites are great for this) and see if there’s a way to sneak in some tickets for a show with his or her favorite artist.

It’s the burning question, isn’t it? How do you go from that oh-so-nervous first date into getting a second one? The physical attraction is there and you’re over the moon to learn more about this creature sitting next to you – if only you could get to the second date!

Here are some tips that should get you through your first-date worry-free and in a better position to capture the attention of the great guy or gal you’ve come across. While yes, it takes two to tango and you can’t have a second date for one, a few simple guidelines should have you sitting pretty if the attraction is mutual.

Tip 1: Keep drinking to a minimum.
Sure, we all get nervous, but what’s more nerve-wracking: the thought of being a little nervous or missing out on the opportunity for a second date because you didn’t know when to say when? Do yourself a favor and institute a one drink rule. Not only is it a good guideline to ensure you get home safely after any date, it’ll keep you from second guessing the consequences of what you might say if you’re…too comfortable.

First dates can be stressful – especially if they are first dates with someone you met on an online dating site! Even if they are with someone you’ve already met face-to-face, there is still the pressure to…well, perform! Be on your best behavior. WOW them. (Even reading that sounds exhausting, right?) And we’ve all been there: we are fifteen to thirty minutes into a date…and there is nothing. No spark. Maybe just an inkling of “like.” What do you do? Your friends have told you to stop ruling people out so quickly. They’re encouraged you to give everyone at least two dates before you show them the door. But should you?

The Case for the Two Date Rule

I don’t know about you, but I’ve left more first dates feeling as if I’ve flubbed them completely. I never said the right thing, I laughed too much, talked too much, ate too little, stayed too long. The list goes on. I’ll venture to say that many of my dates have thought the same thing.

When you’re on a first date, it’s bad enough if you’ve set a date that is more than just a casual encounter. You’re both so nervous that it’s a miracle if you can even figure out if you share common interests much less cab fare. First dates are the stuff that dating horror stories are made of and I know you have a few of your own.