Is there Truth to the Two Date Rule?

First dates can be stressful – especially if they are first dates with someone you met on an online dating site! Even if they are with someone you’ve already met face-to-face, there is still the pressure to…well, perform! Be on your best behavior. WOW them. (Even reading that sounds exhausting, right?) And we’ve all been there: we are fifteen to thirty minutes into a date…and there is nothing. No spark. Maybe just an inkling of “like.” What do you do? Your friends have told you to stop ruling people out so quickly. They’re encouraged you to give everyone at least two dates before you show them the door. But should you?

The Case for the Two Date Rule

I don’t know about you, but I’ve left more first dates feeling as if I’ve flubbed them completely. I never said the right thing, I laughed too much, talked too much, ate too little, stayed too long. The list goes on. I’ll venture to say that many of my dates have thought the same thing.

When you’re on a first date, it’s bad enough if you’ve set a date that is more than just a casual encounter. You’re both so nervous that it’s a miracle if you can even figure out if you share common interests much less cab fare. First dates are the stuff that dating horror stories are made of and I know you have a few of your own.

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to skip that horrific first date and go straight to the second one from the get go? (Yes, I thought you’d say so!)

While first dates dispense with all of the “uncomfortable” stuff, second dates give you the opportunity to actually be yourself. The case for the second date is a good one if you didn’t have an awful time and actually found yourself wanting to learn a little bit more about the person. Why not give it another go, in a different type of environment on another day? You both might find yourselves relaxing and learning some pretty cool things once the pressure is off. And even if not, you’ve gave it a try and you can both go on your way knowing that your soul mate is still out there!

The Case for One Date Only

Sometimes you jut know: this isn’t going anywhere. People are funny creatures! You can be physically attracted to one another or like each other on paper, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty of chemistry…zilch. If someone could come up with a logical explanation of why some people get along and others don’t, they’d be millionaires. In the meantime, however, the rest of us are left to deal with dates that just aren’t going to go anywhere.

And that’s OK! Not every date has to lead to another. And even if a first date isn’t horrible, it doesn’t mean you should feel compelled to try again. There has to be an inkling of something between the two of you to make that second date a good idea. Sometimes you can just look at your date and know that ending the outing early would be a welcome relief for both of you. Others, there’s just not enough there to make you want to try again. Whatever the outcome, know that’s it perfectly acceptable to say “thanks but no thanks” and save your second dates for better prospects.

The Verdict? Your Call

There’s no hard and fast criteria for determining if you should let your first dates progress to second ones. Never forget that your time is valuable, though. We’re not going to click with everyone we share a small café table with, but there are some people that are worth a bit more exploring. Listen to your gut. A no is usually a no for good reason. If there’s that tickle in your belly, maybe date two would settle things for you.