Let’s face it – not everybody is a match, and dating helps you figure out what (and who) you want. By spending time with someone, you can determine if you are compatible or even just want to see each other again for date number two. It’s okay if you aren’t that into each other, but if you keep striking out with women who you are interested in pursuing, there could be something you’re missing.

Instead of getting frustrated or angry with the women you are dating because you aren’t getting responses to your texts or second dates, take a step back and see what could be going wrong. Maybe it’s something really simple that you’re overlooking that turns her off.

Following are a few ways to change things up if you think you might be losing her interest:

Stop talking about yourself. Many guys go into “prove myself” mode on a date because they are trying to impress a woman they find attractive. Instead of talking about yourself, your successes, or your achievements, a woman will connect with you if instead you show her that you’re paying attention to her and what she is saying. Stop yourself if you feel you’re talking too much and start asking her questions.

Be thoughtful. Many guys don’t do the basics – like offering to pick up the tab, being on time, or making a plan about where to meet. If you take the time to put a little effort into the date, it pays off immensely.

Put your phone away. There’s nothing worse than spending an evening staring at your date’s phone on the table. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t ring or you only pick it up to check messages once or twice – that phone is a third wheel. It requires attention, and she will feel that you aren’t giving her a real chance. Leave the phone in your pocket or your car so you can enjoy your date.

Be confident. There’s no need to be a jerk, but women like men who exude confidence – that means having your own opinion even if it disagrees with hers, knowing what you have to offer in a relationship, and not trying to accommodate everything she says or does. Give her a little room to breathe, to learn who you are. Don’t try to be what she wants – be yourself. It works better.

Don’t bring up your bad day, your ex, or other topics that sour your mood. You’re on a date to have fun and enjoy each other, not to have a pity party. Avoid subjects that bring you down or cause you to vent instead of joke. (Also, understand what is sarcastic and what is downright mean, and avoid the latter.) The more you bring positive energy to the date, the better time both of you will have.

Dating website OkCupid has always been considered more cutting edge among the most popular online dating sites, and it is maintaining this effective strategy. Now, the company is offering its users even more choices when it comes to how they gender-identify, and what their sexual preferences are.

OkCupid’s main appeal is its approach to online dating, much more progressive than traditional sites, and also more fun to navigate. People are encouraged ask each other questions and be more original and unique without being forced to just fill in the blanks for their profiles or being walked through a long questionnaire.  

In other words, instead of being “guided” through a process, OkCupid users have always been given a little more freedom to interact and express themselves how they’d like. This works for users, and it works for OkCupid, too. The company started a blog using data from its own user base that reveals online dating trends and preferences that have come in very handy over the years. It helped OkCupid to offer a premium paid service based on the things people want – like filtering out people who don’t fit their physical ideals. One of its founders recently published a book with his findings about patterns and habits of people who online date, gained from tracking its own users.

So it is only fitting that OkCupid would be on the forefront of offering more choices when it comes to dating and how people describe themselves and what they want. After all, we don’t fit into neat little boxes, especially when it comes to love.

OkCupid’s first new offering allows people more choices for how they identify themselves, other than just as “man” or “woman.” Gender has now been extended to include agender, androgynous, cis man, cis woman, genderfluid, gender non-conforming, hjra, intersex, trans man, trans woman and two spirit, among others.

A person’s sexual orientation is no longer limited to straight, gay, and bi-sexual. Now users can choose among an abundance of choices, including asexual, demisexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, pansexual, queer, questioning and sapiosexual (one who finds intelligence to be the most important sexual trait).

Right now, these options have only been rolled out to a limited number of users, and the company hasn’t announced when (or if) they will be extending it to all users.

According to website NewNowNext, users were notified of the change in a message from OkCupid: “You’re part of a select group with access to this feature. Keep in mind as we continue to work on this feature: For now, editing your gender and orientation is only supported on the desktop site.”

OkCupid has a reported 3.5 million user base.

When guys ask me for dating advice, it’s usually because they are frustrated and feel somewhat baffled by women. Most men are content to take a few rejections and move on (more so than women), but if a woman does something they don’t understand, if they are interested in her at all, they have to know:

What does she want? Or more interestingly: What did I do wrong?

This should be an eye-opener for women. Men are more aware of your actions, thoughts and feelings than they are given credit for. They are also more interested in what they can do better, how they can make you happy.

(An aside: Yes, men love making women happy. It’s what keeps them going in a relationship. We just have to let them know what we want.)

A man recently asked me about a woman he’s been dating for a few months. He just got out of a relationship, and she seems a bit standoff-ish, though he’s not sure why. She claims she’s interested in him, but then she pulls a disappearing act. She acts flirtatious and touches him one minute, and the next she pulls away or rebuffs him. He’s kept in a constant state of confusion, wondering what exactly she wants.

While I don’t know this woman and can’t speak for how she feels, I can address her actions and also how he can help himself in this situation. First, she might be a little skeptical of his intentions since he just got out of a serious relationship. In fact, he admitted he wasn’t sure how he felt about her.

When you don’t know how you feel about someone, you can’t expect her to love and be clear about her feelings for you, either.

This was tough for him to hear. After all, she was the one playing games and pulling the disappearing act. And it’s true: she wasn’t exactly giving the relationship her best effort, or maybe any effort at all. But neither was he.

Until you are clear on what you want from a relationship, don’t expect someone else to tell you. If you need time to assess how you feel, take your time. But allow your partner to take her time, too. Not everyone is certain about how they feel right away. And some people are more cautious with their hearts than others, because they don’t want to get hurt again.

If you are waiting for the other person to drive the relationship, you are letting them take control. It’s a partnership, not something to control. If you decide you want an exclusive relationship, let her know. Don't be afraid of having an intimate conversation about how you are feeling, or not feeling.

In celebration of Thanksgiving in the United States, eHarmony is having a Free Communication Weekend (FCW). This 5 day event starts today November 27th, and runs to the end of day on Monday, December 1st. This is for new and existing free members of eHarmony.com only.

To take full advantage of this long event you should register as a member as soon as you can. This is free and no credit card is required. All you need to do is visit eHarmony at their website or download their dating app. Once you create your account (that you can use on both the app and the website) you then have to take the eHarmony personality questionnaire. There is about 140 questions you need to answer that supplies eHarmony's matching system with the required information it will use to match you with your ideal partner. The questionnaire will take you about 30-40 minutes to complete with most questions being of the multiple choice variety. Once complete you will then receive your first batch of matches. You can then look over their profiles and communicate with the ones you like. Free communication Weekends do not include a number of features. This includes secure call (a phone service), profile photos or skip the guide communication process straight to email.

Remember during free communication everyone can communicate so this dating site will be extra busy, especially since it is a holiday and most people are home. To find out more about this dating service that has dedicated apps available for the iPhone, iPad, and Android, you can read our review of eHarmony.

Just how crazy are single consumers for Tinder? And how much will they be willing to pay for the service?

The company is betting that certain features will be very valuable to Tinder users who have been requesting them since the service launched. So valuable that the company will be beta testing different price points in the UK, Germany and Brazil, with prices ranging from $.99 US to $4.99 to as high as $20.00 US for the premium version of the app, Tinder Plus.

Tinder Plus will roll out in these three markets first to determine how to proceed in other markets.

Mark Zuckerberg has made plenty of comments over the years about the increasingly public way in which we live (something he seems to be an outspoken advocate of). There was also the recent controversy over Facebook's nearly-enacted real name policy. So it certainly comes as a surprise that a site so anti-anonymity has just joined forces with the Web’s most anonymous network.

Wired reports that Facebook launched “a Tor hidden service, a version of its website that runs the anonymity software Tor.” The new site can only be accessed by users running the Tor software, which bounces their connections “through three extra encrypted hops to random computers around the Internet, making it far harder for any network spy observing that traffic to trace their origin.”

Before you get excited that you'll finally be safe from Facebook's prying eyes, know that even Tor users are not anonymous to Facebook itself. But Tor can now protect your identity from every other threat to your security and privacy you may encounter while liking the latest clickbait from Upworthy. “You get around the censorship and local adversarial surveillance,” explains former Tor developer Runa Sandvik, “and it adds another layer of security on top of your connection.”

Prior to this development, Facebook made it difficult for Tor users to access the site – sometimes even blocking their connections altogether. Because Tor users appear to log in from IP address all over the world, Facebook's security infrastructure often mislabeled them as potential attacks from hackers. According to the Tor blog, “a high volume of malicious activity across Tor exit nodes triggered Facebook's site integrity systems which are designed to protect people who use the service.”

Now Facebook plans to be friendly to the odd, international connections that were formerly causing problems, and Sandvik says it provides an extra layer of security beyond what running Tor on the user’s end alone can offer. “When both the user and Facebook are running Tor,” explains Wired, “the traffic doesn’t leave the Tor network until it’s safely within Facebook’s infrastructure.” That means there's no opportunity for outsiders to spy on unencrypted traffic or decrypt it themselves.

Over the past few years, SSL encryption has become the standard for major sites like Google, Facebook, and Twitter looking to protect their users’ privacy. Sandvik believes Facebook’s Tor hidden service may mean that Tor will become the next basic privacy protection leading tech companies will be expected to offer their users.

For more on this social network you can read our review of Facebook.