What Economics Can Teach You About Online Dating

Tips
  • Thursday, December 03 2015 @ 09:07 am
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Remember how much you hated your Econ class in high school? Now would be a good time to dig up your old notes. It turns out economics can teach you about online dating.

Paul Oyer, an economics proessor at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and author of Everything I Ever Needed to Know about Economics I Learned from Online Dating, says the marketplace of romantic partners functions a lot like any other marketplace. Throw in the fact that Oyer met his match online and, well... he may be onto something.

How exactly is online dating like economics? It starts with the market. An online dating site with more members is better than one with fewer, as you'll be exposed to more options over time and have a better chance of meeting someone who suits you. This, explains Oyer, is called a “thick market.” More options means greater efficiency and a greater chance of finding what you need.

You could argue that the thick market approach means niche dating sites are a bad bet, but Oyer says it's not always the case. If you're a specialist dater – someone with a serious dealbreaker requirement – your personal thick market is a site targeted to that criteria. But take note, specialists: niche sites are a significantly more viable option in densely populated areas, where there is a larger pool of people who meet your requirements.

Here's one thing that might surprise you: Oyer says lying in an online dating profile makes economic sense. “Economists think of lying as a rational thing to increase utility, or happiness,” he explains. “Where parties’ interests aren’t completely aligned, we expect some people will misrepresent the truth.”

In other words, lying while online dating is a logcial strategy to try to increase the number of responses your profile gets. And even if you're completely honest, you should expect that your competition (or your dates) are twisting the truth.

Before you go swapping your photos for a professional model's, Oyer adds that the utility of lying has its limits. You cannot stretch the truth beyond belief, because when it's obvious that you're faking it, people will be less likely to believe you in the future. Dishonesty isn't always the best policy.

Oyer also weighs on in on the pickiness problem of online daters. He calls it “romantic unemployment” - a condition inspired by a type of search theory, in which people cannot find exactly what they want, even if it exists, because the act of searching is too costly. Singles hold out for better and better dates, like a company holds out for better and better job candidates, both potentially passing up good matches along the way.

Ultimately, Oyer says, “economics is the study of scarcity.” When it comes to online dating, the scarce resource is time. It doesn't pay to be too choosy. You can try to keep trading up, but according to search theory, there's a point where it's no longer worth the trouble.

4 Online Dating Questions Everyone Asks (And The Answers)

Tips
  • Wednesday, December 02 2015 @ 07:16 am
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Bing! Your computer's notification noise goes off and there it is: a new message in your inbox. You click it with a mix of nerves and excitement. Maybe this one, finally, will be the one that sticks.

Or not. Maybe they'll look nothing like their profile picture. Maybe they'll be “fun-employed” and living with their parents. Maybe they're cheating on their significant other. Maybe they're a con artist or a serial killer. For all you know, they could be all of the above.

That's the gamble of online dating. It's an bundle of pros and an assortment of cons, wrapped up in one package and tied with a digital bow.

You have questions. Whether you're new to online dating or a frustrated long-time dater, you've run into challenges and confusion. You want answers that will make your experience better. You want to know what’s happening behind the scenes – and your screen.

These are 4 questions all online daters wonder about (and their answers).

  1. Is anyone actually reading my profile? You've heard that it's all about the picture, that a photo can make or break your profile, because it's 2015 and no one can be bothered to read anymore. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Because of the way most dating sites and apps are designed, photos are prominent. They're what we see first, and what we use to decide if we want to explore the profile. In fact, there's a scientific reason for it: we're drawn to images over text because our brains can process visual information and make inferences more quickly. So yes, people will read your profile, but only if they like your photo first.
  2. Can I skip the photo? See above. You could omit the pictures if you're concerned about privacy, but it will dramatically impact the results you get. Few people will click through your profile and, if they reach out to you, a request for photos is likely the first thing they'll send.
  3. Can I try online dating if I live in a small town? There's no point in using online dating if it's slim pickings, right? Wrong. Living in a small town is a great reason to try onilne dating, provided you're willing to search outside your immediate area. If you're open to the idea of traveling, online dating can dramatically increase the size of your dating pool.
  4. Why can't I find someone when there are millions of possibilities? This is the other side of the small town coin. It may seem counterintuitive, but it can be harder to find what you’re looking for when you have a larger number of options. A bigger population means more people online, and those people tend to be pickier. Because they are surrounded by so many potential partners at all times, they constantly wonder if there is something better out there. FOMO is not an ingredient in any successful long-term relationship.

New Dating App Align uses Astrology to Help You Find Love

Reviews
  • Tuesday, December 01 2015 @ 07:00 am
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 Align Dating App
Are you a Scorpio? Do you only date Geminis? If you plan your love life according to astrological charts, there’s a new dating app for you called Align.

Align works as you might assume – asking for your birth date and a few personality traits that describe you before finding you matches based on the alignment of your stars. These features are all part of the app’s design, too, which includes a galaxy backdrop.

You sign in with Facebook, as with most apps that require some sort of identity verification. Then Align offers you words to choose to describe yourself, such as “bossy,” “generous,” or “charming.” If you’re a more visual person, you can choose from a range of emojis to describe yourself, too.

Align then goes to work to match you according to your personality (and of course, your chart). And each day, Align will send you five matches that it thinks will suit you, handed to you as photo bubbles or “constellations” of varying sizes, depending on how much of a match the app thinks you are. (The bigger the constellation, the better the match.) You then have 24 hours to accept your matches, or they will be replaced the next day with another five.

The app also uses colors to identify your match in terms of personal compatibility with you. For example, yellow signifies an air sign, which means you’re matched with analyzers, intellectuals, idealists, thinkers, and problem solvers - while green covers earth signs, or those who are driven, goal-oriented, practical, and dependable, for example.

When you and a potential match both decide you like each other, you are then “Aligned” and can start messaging in the app. (Everyone you align with shows up in your “Connections” screen.)

The app was designed to appeal to people who are looking for deeper online connections without spending too much time filling out questionnaires, as you would with personality-based dating apps and websites like eHarmony. Helen Grossman and Aliza Kelly Faragher, the two creators of the app, were tired of feeling disconnected from other online daters and noted on their website that: “these soulless swipes were going nowhere.”

According to Aliza, over 45 million Millennials believe in Astrology, or at least think it contributes to a good match for dating. So, the founders decided to get Astrological when developing their app.

Astrology might not be the only thing that is important when you are looking for love online, but at least it provides a point of reference beyond a photo, and can start up some interesting conversation. I mean, who wouldn’t want to ponder why the last two Leo boyfriends didn’t work out, or why you seem to be attracted to Virgos?

Align is available as a free download in the iTunes store.


Tinder rejects Moments with New Update

Tinder
  • Monday, November 30 2015 @ 06:44 am
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Tinder just released a new update to its popular dating app, but decided to swipe left on its Snapchat-like “Moments” feature. The Moments feature was first offered to Tinder users a year ago, but now has been removed from the app’s latest update.

With Moments, Tinder users could share photos that expired after 24 hours, hoping to pique the interest of their matches. Moments also allowed users to stylize photos with filters, paintbrush, and the ability to write text over the image. The purpose of Moments was, according to Tinder co-founder Sean Rad, to jumpstart conversations among matches. If a match liked your Moment, they could swipe right. The app would notify you of their interest, and then you could both start chatting.

Last year when Moments first launched, Rad was pleased with consumers’ response. In an interview at tech event TC Disrupt he declared that due to Moments, Tinder had “seen a massive increase in conversations started and post-match engagement.”

News about Tinder’s latest update focused on the new features the app is offering, such as a revamp to the Profile and Inbox. The update allows users to add employment/education information into their profiles. The Inbox now places new matches in the top bar and current conversations in the lower part of the screen. There were also slight improvements on the backend with an update to Tinder’s algorithms.

No mention was made from Tinder about the absence of Moments, or that the company also got rid of its “Last Active” feature, which let users know the last time someone used the app. With the new update, Last Active disappeared as well.

Website Tech Crunch attributes the loss of Moments to the popularity of Snapchat. Likely Tinder users would just use Snapchat or other similar apps with any potential matches instead of using the Tinder feature. Plus, Tinder partnered with Instagram to let users use their recent Instagram photos as an extension of their Tinder profiles. With these offerings, Moments might have lost some traction.

Users did notice Moments’ absence however, and took to Twitter and review postings to let the company know they were not happy with this move. The most vocal opponents let their voices be heard with tweets like: “why is tinder getting rid of moments? that was like its best feature tbh.”

So far, the company hasn’t responded to inquiries of why they decided to ditch the features. Perhaps we’ll know more with Tinder’s next update. For more on this dating app you can read our review of Tinder.

PerfectMatch.com Closes

PerfectMatch.com
  • Sunday, November 29 2015 @ 04:56 pm
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Perfect Match Dating Site Shuts Down

The once popular dating site PerfectMatch.com has closed down. When you visit the service you are shown a goodbye message. The message states that the dating site has closed down and any remaining time on your subscription that is left will be refunded in full on to your original form of payment.

From around 2005 to 2010 Perfect Match was a popular choice for singles interested in online dating. The site was featured in a number of popular movies like Must Love Dogs and appear on talk TV shows like Dr. Phil and Live with Regis and Kelly. PerfectMatch used the Duet Total Compatibility System which was created in part by the relationship expert Dr. Schwartz. This dating service emphasized long-term relationships and had a detailed profile and complex matching algorithm.

Unfortunately Perfect Match didn't stay current with technology and let their product go stale. As far as I know there never was a mobile app released ever on the iPhone or Android phones. In 2011 PerfectMatch was acquired by FriendFinder which didn't help the dating service at all and it continued to slowly slide into obscurity.

4 Signs Your Date Is Just Not That Into You

Tips
  • Sunday, November 29 2015 @ 08:45 am
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It's that time of year again. Leaves are changing color and falling to the ground. Starbucks has unleashed seasonal flavors and holiday cups. Temperatures are dropping and the sun sets before 5pm.

It's cuffing season.

For those unfamiliar with the term, let me explain. “Cuffing season” comes annually as cool weather approaches, when singletons become obsessed with finding someone to cuddle with. After a summer of low-stress dates and sexy flings, flying solo suddenly seems far less appealing than coupling up and sharing body heat.

With cuffing season comes more dates. With more dates comes more bad dates. And with those bad dates comes more people willing to settle in the name of having someone to spoon. Cuffing season or no cuffing season, resist the urge to pursue a match when intuition tells you it isn't right. Here are # signs that your date is just not that into you.

  1. They take a long time to respond to your messages. Sometimes work really is hectic and things like dating slip through the cracks. It happens. But more often than not, if someone doesn't reply to your messages in a timely fashion, it's because getting to know you isn't a priority. If they're interested, they'll act interested. That means replying within an appropriate timeframe.
  2. They never set up an actual date. You've messaged back and forth but there are no plans for an in-person meetup. Congratulations, you now have an internet penpal. Someone who wants to date you will, surprise, take steps to arrange an actual date. After the initial digital getting-to-know-you phase is done, it's time to ask for a phone number or plan to meet. If things aren't moving forward, it's time to move on.
  3. They don't ask questions. This is Dating 101. A person who is interested in you will ask you questions because they want to learn more about you. If they're silent, there are three possibilities. One, your date could be shy and too nervous to hold the conversation they really want to have. Two, your date is self-absorbed and only wants to talk about themselves. Three, they're just not that into you.
  4. They don't mention a second date. Could it be any clearer? Second dates are often arranged before the first date is over. You're just trying to enjoy your dessert and already your date is making plans for next weekend. We know when we've found a good thing and we want to lock it down ASAP. Someone who doesn't bring up your next time together within a reasonable period isn't interested in a next time at all.

Pick your ego up from the floor, dust it off, and get back in the ring. Cuffing season has only just begun.

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