Sugar Daddy

If you’ve heard Brandon Wade’s name lately, it’s likely because he’s the CEO of SeekingArrangement.com and SA is currently embroiled in quite the scandal. Earlier this summer, the Web was rocked with the news that Google executive Forrest Hayes died of a fatal dose of heroin, allegedly injected by a prostitute named Alix Tichelman while the two were on a yacht.

Tichelman and Hayes met on SeekingArrangement.com, the infamous Las Vegas-based sugar daddy dating site. The news has put the spotlight on Wade, his company, and the complex world of financially-motivated dating. In the wake of the scandal, Eric Van Susteren of the Silicon Valley Business Journal spoke with Brandon Wade about the past, present, and future of his notorious website. Here are a few highlights of their conversation:

Van Susteren: How’d you get into this business?

Wade: I got into it because I was dateless, and I was shy and I was just completely awkward. My mother had always told me when I was growing up to channel all my sexual frustration into my books because when you get older and have money to be generous with, the girls will flock to you. When I graduated I was making six figures, and I still had that problem so I created this website because normal dating sites weren't working for me.

Van Susteren: How did your mother feel about being the inspiration of this business?

Wade: She loves it, and she thought it was funny that her advice would turn into a dating website eventually. People are going to want to criticize this any way they can but it's the same kind of advice mothers are giving daughters anyway. Telling them when you grow up you'll be treated like a princess by your knight in shining armor who's going to take care of you. How different is that? It's the same message: That you want to find a good, wealthy, successful husband or boyfriend who will take care of you.

Van Susteren: So how’s business?

Wade: Business has been doing better and better. We keep seeing growth and I don't think it's going to stop. We're moving away from the sugar daddy angle as well. It's still an important aspect of the site, but our marketing message is a more general now: “Relationship on your terms.”

Van Susteren: What’s the purpose of that move?

Wade: I think we sort of reached a plateau. When you look at relationships, not all people are really wealthy and successful, but they have specific conditions that they want in terms of what they want to find in a relationship. And that's what Seeking Arrangement is all about: It's about two people coming together, defining what want from each other, what they expect from each other, and creating a relationship based on that. It should be about anything — it shouldn't be just about sugar daddies.

For more information on this dating site you can read our review of Seeking Arrangement.

When people talk about the shot heard round the world, they typically mean a gunshot. In this case, it was the fatal dose of heroin injected into Google executive Forrest Hayes. Hayes met his untimely death on a yacht, during a tryst with a prostitute named Alix Tichelman who allegedly administered the drug.

The not-so-unlikely pair (let’s face it, rich techie types and sex workers have always gone together well) met on SeekingArrangement.com, a popular Las Vegas-based site where sugar babies set up profiles to meet sugar daddies. It seems like Seeking Arrangement CEO Brandon Wade is always in the news for one thing or another, but this might be the first time he and his site have gotten so much national attention.

Wade said in an interview that after Tichelman’s arrest was announced on July 9, Seeking Arrangement’s site traffic doubled and its new member count jumped to 12,000 per day from an average of 2,000. He also said that the site should generate at least twice the $10 million in sales it brought in last year, proving once again that one man’s tragedy is another man’s meal ticket.

Eric Van Susteren of the Silicon Valley Business Journal spoke with Brandon Wade about how Hayes’ death and Tichelman’s arrest are changing the future of Seeking Arrangement – if at all.

Wade has always taken a cavalier approach to his work, and it seems this time is no exception. Is he worried that the case will affect his business negatively? “I don't think so,” he says. “It seems that bad news ends up being good news when it comes to traffic for our website. What I'm more concerned about is making sure we tighten up our policies and look at where people misuse the site and come up with new innovations about where this can happen.”

That being said, he maintains that Seeking Arrangement is one of the “strictest websites in terms of terms of use, website policy and kinds of tools — as well as staff members that we employ — to keep unwanted members out of the site.” And he’s adamant that it’s ultimately not his job, or anyone else’s, to police the activity of members of his site:

“You're talking about adults and they're going to do what they're going to do. If you're bored with your life and shoot heroin up your arm, it's really difficult for a website or any other venue where people meet to dictate what people can or cannot do.”

"Remorseful" isn't exactly the word that comes to mind here. I think it’s safe to say that, notorious death or no notorious death, it will be business as usual for Brandon Wade and Seeking Arrangement.

MillionaireMatch.com has just surpassed the 2 million member mark and is celebrating with a new digital billboard in Times Square.

“Join the 1%: Don’t get left behind,” the ad reads. It's a slightly odd choice, given the bad rap of the 1% and the fact that the term was coined due to protests in New York City in the first place, but it also begs the question: how many MillionaireMatch.com users are actually millionaires?

Darren Shuster, North American CEO for the dating service, recently spoke with MarketWatch about the milestone and their membership. Here are a few highlights from their conversation:

On what it means to be a “certified millionaire”…

“You can become a “Diamond Member,” which shows you have $1 million in assets or a large income, a minimum of $200,000 a year. Then you can search for other Diamond Members who’ve had their income verified.”

On online dating’s notorious reputation for being full of fakes…

“MillionaireMatch has as many fakes as most dating sites. Some people are great, some people are phony, some people get a lot out of it and some people quit in a week. You have to know who is exaggerating and who’s not. Some people say they own the car and the house, but they’re leasing the car and they’re renting the house.”

On sexism…

“People say all sorts of things when it comes to love or money. Women are attracted to wealth whether the website exists or not. We’re not exactly reinventing the wheel here. I’m sure there are people who will call it sexist and call it weird, and will say things like, ‘How could you go after them for money?’ If you met someone and they both have a sense of humor and good physical condition, who would you go for? I’d go after the woman with the big bank account. Wouldn’t you?”

On the clientele who make up the MillionaireMatch userbase…

“Some of these people are making $100,000 a year. On paper, they’re a millionaires. But they’re not necessarily bringing in $40,000 a month. Women are smart and intuitive. It’s almost like crowdsourcing to weed out the phonies. They’re probably our best security.”

And finally, the big question: How many members are actually millionaires?

“That I would rather not disclose, if I can help it. Most of the men have a million dollars or more at least in assets, including their house, and have money in savings. We have a fair share of those.”

To find out more about this dating service you can read our review of Millionaire Match.

There is a new dating app now available on the Apple App Store from WealthyMen.com. Just like the actual website the WealthyMen app aims to connect attractive women with established professionals looking to meet that special someone.

What makes WealthyMen unique among dating sites is that it is one of the few that offers a verification service in which male members can verify their income, photos and profession. Because of the type of site this is, it has a high female to male ratio.

The dating app offers most functionality of the dating site including creating a profile, searching for members and communication. For more information on this dating site you can read our Wealthy Men review.

We've all heard the term "gold digger," but how many of you have ever dated one? If you're nodding your head and smiling at my question, you're not alone, I promise.

I have a friend who complains constantly of dating women he refers to as "takers." According to him, they want (and ask for) everything - dinner at fancy restaurants, luxury vacations, someone who will pay down their credit card debt. You name it, he has been asked to provide. When I offered to set him up with a friend of mine, he shook his head, saying he just couldn't date another gold digger, even though he'd never met her. He just assumed she'd be the same.

Now, he is not extremely wealthy, but he has some financial success. Enough to take his dates out to nice restaurants, buy them gifts, and when things go well, take them on trips to Mexico or Hawaii. But here's the problem: they keep asking and he keeps giving. He feels like this is a romantic gesture, a form of wooing.

The truth is, he hasn't set any boundaries for himself and the women he dates. He keeps saying yes to their demands, thinking that all women are like this. He just assumes all of his dates want something from him. No wonder he's completely turned off.

This idea of "takers" doesn't only apply to women looking to be wined and dined. There are plenty of men who are "takers" as well - financial and emotional drains. Perhaps you've dated a man who was perpetually unemployed, who relied on you for housing, money, or other things to meet his needs? This is another form of taking.

When someone takes, there is an unequal balance in the relationship. Relationships aren't balanced 100% of the time - they go back and forth, with each person relying on the other at different times for support. When one side does all the giving and it goes on indefinitely, then the relationship not going to last. Neither side is going to feel happy and fulfilled. Both sides end up resentful.

Instead of blaming others, (because you can't control anybody else's behavior, only your own), try looking at what you can do. It's up to you to set your own boundaries and decide what you are and aren't willing to put up with, as well as what you expect from a relationship.

Instead of offering to pay for so much, try planning dates that aren't so expensive. Take a picnic to the park. Make a home-cooked meal. Do things that show gestures of love and effort rather than expense and see how she/ he responds. Then see if they return the favor and start taking you out, too.

There's no need to feel taken advantage of in dating. The key is, set your own boundaries and stick to them.

It was a "Midsummer Night Affair" at the Hudson Terrace, a trendy Manhattan nightclub, earlier this month, as 400 men and women seeking sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships flooded the venue in hopes of meeting a match. Despite the $40 entrance fee for women, and the $80 cover for men, hopeful sugar daddies and sugar babies packed into the party, sponsored by the sugar daddy dating site SeekingArrangement.com.

Perhaps it's the recession, or maybe it's just that the stigma of these sorts of agreements is lessening more and more with every passing day, but it seems as though sugar daddy arrangements are more popular now than ever before. A recent article in the Huffington Post, which profiled several men and women in this kind of arrangement, attributed the sugar daddy's rising popularity to the soaring cost of higher education.

"I was thinking about going on Match," one 25 year old student says, "but I needed help financially. I guess what finally pushed me over the edge was that I needed help to pay off my loans from school." The work of two anthropology graduates at George Washington University revealed similar findings: of the 100 participants in their study of sugar daddy culture, more than half reported that the money they received was paying for their education.

Brandon Wade, the CEO and founder of SeekingArrangement.com, has also noticed the growing popularity of the site with students. "Over the past few years, the number of college students using our site has exploded," he says. "College students are one of the biggest segments of our sugar babies and the numbers are growing all the time." Wade considers this a public service, a unique opportunity for individuals to form mutually beneficial relationships, and it seems that many of the site's male members agree.

"Most of these young women have debt from school," says a sugar daddy who goes by the name 'Jack' and describes himself as a 'humanitarian.' "I guess I like the college girls more because I think of their student debt as good debt. At least it seems like I'm helping them out, like I'm helping them to get a better life."

Many have called these arrangements prostitution, but Wade is quick to defend them. "The media loves to use the term prostitution, but I'm adamantly against that," he told the Wall Street Journal. "There is chemistry involved in these relationships. It's not a one-time exchange of money for sex." In fact, he believes that sugar daddy/sugar baby agreements have the potential to be healthier than other relationships, because both parties are immediately upfront about what they want from the relationship and what they are offering. When each person's expectations are clearly stated, the potential for romantic disaster is significantly lessened.

Some, like a girl referred to as 'Jennifer' says, see both a practical and a romantic side to the sugar daddy phenomenon. "I realize I'm not going to have it forever," she told the Huffington Post. "While I've still got it, I'm going to milk it for all it's worth. I mean, maybe I'll get swept off my feet. Really, anything could happen."

So what do you think? Is the sugar daddy culture a thinly-veiled form of prostitution, or an acceptable and mutually beneficial agreement made between consenting adults?

For similar dating services you can take a look at our Wealthy Singles Dating category.