Dating

Want a green date? No, not the color. The practice, silly! Green dating is making a huge upsurge in the online dating and dating scenes in general What's there to know about the green dating scene? We'll tell you!

As reported by USA Today, green dating is creating a significant influx into therapists offices nationwide as couples spat over eco-friendly matters. Wild salmon versus farmed, buying energy offsets or carbon footprint be damned, there are a plethora of eco-sexual issues facing today's couple.

If you're interested in meeting someone with the same eco-bent as you, you can visit green dating sites like EcoDater, Green Singles and Earth Wise Singles. Planet Green even has a green dating quiz you can take to find out if you're a Great Green Date. If you're of the eco-friendly bent, you can even get out and meet like-minded singles with groups like Green Drinks International and Meet Market Adventures. Nationwide groups like Meetup.com also offer a great way for the eco-sexual to get out and find someone who feeds their need for green. In a hurry? NPR offered a great story on speed green dating with their piece Finding Carbon-Neutral Love.

If relocation is in you future, don't forget to check out the top list of green cities. From recycling practices to air qualities, this list puts the nitty gritty out there for your green dating pleasure. Another cool tool for your next green date is the Green Restaurant Association - take your eco-sexy to a whole new level and wow your date so he or she is green with envy of your resourcefulness.

Bottom line? If your eco-sensitive ways are essential to your search for the perfect mate, there are a bevy of online resources to help you like green, date green and stay green once you've found that special someone!

It is amazing at how many downloadable applications the iPhone has. As the TV commercials from Apple suggest, there are Apps for almost anything and that includes people who date online or off. Here are 5 iPhone Apps that FreeDating.co.uk reviewed which offers you the tools to organize, research, and escape from your dates:

• The Girlfriend Keeper - Keeps track of the hotness of your relationship based on your contact frequency. Also will automatically send out texts or emails to keep your girl friend happy.
• My Little Black Book - Keeps track of your dates contact information and photos. Allows your rate the date and include additional notes.
• Date Check - Allows you to run background checks of dates. Includes criminal convictions, property and home details, interests and living situations.
• Date Escape - Gives you excuses to get out of bad dates or situations.
• Excuse Me - Like Date Escape except it will initiate a pretend phone call in a certain number of seconds or minutes. Your phone will ring and when you "answer it", a fake voice of a man or woman will be heard to increase the realism of the phone call.

Find out more about this iPhone Apps by reading 5 Dating Apps For People With No Shame.

"I'd never date someone who ___________!"

What do you fill into that blank? Here are some examples of dealbreakers that I've encountered in my time as an online dating coach. My clients (and others I've read about in the many dating blogs I read daily) have said these are their dealbreakers:

• taller/shorter
• older/younger
• divorced
• separated
• had kids
• wanted kids / didn't want kids
• smoked
• drank more than once a month
• overweight
• didn't have a good relationship with their family
• didn't go to college
• didn't finish college
• was way more/less formally educated
• Republican / Democrat / Libertarian
• didn't share religious faith / had no religious faith / was too religious
• had poor grammar or spelling skills
• was bad on the phone
• was awkward on a first date

...and the list could go on and on and on.

Lists like these are fine when you're in your 20s and the pool of available singles is teeming with potential mates. But as you get to that age where all of your friends are getting married and popping out babies and buying houses (and I know it well because I just turned 30 this year and it's exactly where I am - my Facebook news feed is full of other people's wedding, new house, and baby pics!), well... when you get to be in that zone, your pickins start to get slimmer.

That's when you have to start thinking hard about which dealbreakers are actually really important to your core values. For example, when I was dating in my 20s, I would not date a guy who had previously been married. In my head, I thought I wanted to be "THE ONE" for the guy I married, not "The Second One." Nowadays, I realize that isn't a big deal and if I were single I'd be open to dating a guy who was divorced.

Education was also a big thing for me - I wanted to date a guy who was nerdy, geeky, book smart. Someone with at least a B.A./B.S. Then I met my current boyfriend, who is very smart, but due to some family crises, was unable to finish his B.A. until he was in his late 20s. Now I'm realizing that old dealbreaker was pretty stupid.

There are dealbreakers I do keep. For example, my religious views do not mesh with certain other religious views. Same for political (although I mostly keep out of politics, there are some political issues that rile me up). I'm also childfree and while I'd be open to dating someone who had a child, I'm more comfortable dating someone who share my lifestyle.

Take a long, hard look at your dealbreakers - especially if you're 30+, especially if you've been striking out with online dating. I'll write another post on how to slowly stretch your boundaries so you don't feel overwhelmed. Be open to new things and you'll never know who you might meet!

Ever wonder what makes people compatible? Well, a recent study by eHarmony and the Oxford Internet Institute says that there's no place like home for people seeking true compatibility.

eHarmony considered the results of over 1,000 UK couples in the survey, considering responses to questions about culture and preferences for relationships. The results indicated that certain cultures shared similar beliefs and were thus more likely to result in more successful cross-cultural relationships. Some examples would be striking similarities between UK and U.S. cultures as well as relationships between residents of South American countries such as Argentina and Spain or Mexico and Brazil. Contrarily, people from strikingly different cultures such as Mexico and Japan or China and India are said to have less opportunity for relationship success.

While the final results of the joint study between eHarmony and the Oxford Internet Institute have not been published in their entirety, the initial results offer some food for thought in the world of online dating. Perhaps you never considered dating someone with a different cultural background than yours. Well, now's the time to add those criteria to your search! Here are two things to consider when conducting your online dating search for a mate from a different culture:

Religious Background: Understand your commitment to your personal religious beliefs when you initiate your online dating efforts. This will help you as you choose profiles to review. For example: staunch Christians may not share enough in common with someone from an East Indian background due to the prevalence of Hinduism in that culture.

Cultural Rituals: Do you celebrate Christmas? Is Mardi Gras a huge event for your family? Do you observe the Chinese New Year? Don't be afraid to open up a dialogue with a new date about landmark events that light up their calendar and feel free to share those of you own.

For more on the story read the official eHarmony Blog and to find out more about the dating site mentioned in this article, check out our eHarmony review.

You like them. You really, really like them! It’s the coolest feeling in the world when you meet someone you can get excited about and it makes you want to go the extra mile to please them. Without overdoing it, there are plenty of ways to surprise your date and get their attention. We all want to feel that the partner in our lives appreciates us and listens to what we like and don’t. So with that in mind, let’s talk about cool ways you can surprise your date.

Without going overboard and overwhelming your favorite date, think about the things they’re passionate about. Now, these might not be the same things you’re passionate about: remember that. The easiest way to get your date’s attention (aside from being a kind and respectful partner) is to encourage them in all they love in life. It shows your date that you’re not only secure with them being who they are, but that you like that person! During the surprise planning process, don’t make a big deal out of your surprise. Treat it like any other date the two of your share…and they’ll appreciate the twist even more!

Live music. What’s on their iPod? What’s “most played?” Check your local concert roster (radio station websites are great for this) and see if there’s a way to sneak in some tickets for a show with his or her favorite artist.

It’s the burning question, isn’t it? How do you go from that oh-so-nervous first date into getting a second one? The physical attraction is there and you’re over the moon to learn more about this creature sitting next to you – if only you could get to the second date!

Here are some tips that should get you through your first-date worry-free and in a better position to capture the attention of the great guy or gal you’ve come across. While yes, it takes two to tango and you can’t have a second date for one, a few simple guidelines should have you sitting pretty if the attraction is mutual.

Tip 1: Keep drinking to a minimum.
Sure, we all get nervous, but what’s more nerve-wracking: the thought of being a little nervous or missing out on the opportunity for a second date because you didn’t know when to say when? Do yourself a favor and institute a one drink rule. Not only is it a good guideline to ensure you get home safely after any date, it’ll keep you from second guessing the consequences of what you might say if you’re…too comfortable.