Matching

Facebook caused a huge outcry back in June when it revealed it had manipulated the news feeds of over half a million users as part of a psychological study to examine how emotions spread on social media.

The response was intense (to say the least), but Facebook is far from the only Internet company to treat its users like lab rats. OkCupid fessed up to conducting studies on its members via a blog entry posted on July 28. And they weren't exactly apologetic about it.

“We noticed recently that people didn’t like it when Facebook 'experimented' with their news feed,” the entry reads. “Even the FTC is getting involved. But guess what, everybody: if you use the Internet, you’re the subject of hundreds of experiments at any given time, on every site. That’s how websites work.”

Admittedly, they have a point. No matter how popular or successful OkCupid is, there are always improvements to be made and the only way to discover those improvements is to conduct experiments. Or, in the site’s own words, “OkCupid doesn’t really know what it’s doing. Neither does any other website. It’s not like people have been building these things for very long, or you can go look up a blueprint or something. Most ideas are bad. Even good ideas could be better. Experiments are how you sort all this out.”

In this case, the experiment told users they were more compatible than they really were to test the power of suggestion. Typically, among users who were given a 30% compatibility rating by OkCupid, a single message from one to another turned into a conversation just 10% of the time. But, if OkCupid told users with low compatibility that their compatibility score was 90%, the odds of having a conversation jumped to 17%.

The experiment found the same results in the opposite direction. When users with 90% compatibility were told their score was only 30%, the likelihood of a conversation dropped from 20% to 16%. OkCupid isn’t at all surprised that users take the compatibility rating so seriously – “after all,” notes the blog post, “that’s what the site teaches you to do.”

Then OkCupid took a step further. The question became “Does the displayed match percentage cause more than just that first message – does the mere suggestion cause people to actually like each other?”

As far as this data goes, the answer is yes. When OkCupid tells people they’re a good match, they act as if they are, even if they should be wrong for each other - which means that at the end of the day, the myth of compatibility may be just as powerful as the truth.

If you’ve been anywhere near a news source lately, you probably heard about Facebook’s big news feed experiment. The social network manipulated the news feeds of hundreds of thousands of users to see if the emotion they absorbed through reading content on their news feeds impacted the emotion they later displayed in their own posts. People were, unsurprisingly, not too psyched at the revelation that Facebook had toyed with their emotions.

Shortly afterwards OkCupid revealed that it, too, has experimented on users, and the furor started again. In their most recent experiment, OkCupid told users — falsely — that they’re compatible in order to spark more conversations. As a result, OkCupid found that perceived compatibility is just as effective as real compatibility.

Reactions to both experiments have been mixed. Some have said that OkCupid’s testing is less controversial than Facebook’s. Others have called the OkCupid experiment worse than Facebook’s. What everyone seems to agree on is that they’re not quite sure if they should be upset or not. On one hand, lying to customers seems like an obvious faux-pas. But on the other hand, isn’t that just how the Internet works?

As Josh Constine noted in a TechCrunch post, by using services like Google, Twitter, LinkedIn and yes, Facebook, we agree to be part of experiments that change the way we experience the sites. The experiments are called A/B tests, and companies use them to figure how to encourage users to visit a site longer or click more things. This is nothing new.

However, there may be some room for concern. In academia, research involving human subjects is severely limited and carefully monitored by review boards to ensure that it is not deceptive and harm is minimized. Where companies are concerned, there’s no such thing as a review board. It’s up to the companies themselves to abide by the core principles of ethical research.

So how should you feel about Facebook’s and OkCupid’s experiments?

Any way you want. Unlike those two companies, I’m not here to manipulate into doing or feeling anything.

But if asked to take a stand, I’d have to put myself pro-OkCupid and less-than-convinced about Facebook. Facebook deliberately tried to change users’ emotions for the worse by manipulating content in their feeds, all without their consent. It’s hard to get behind that, no matter how much you enjoy psychological studies. For OkCupid, I’m willing to give a pass. At the end of the day, those kinds of experiments are just OkCupid doing its job. Without testing, OkCupid would never improve its ability to match users – and that’s the whole reason we’re there in the first place.

Yes, you read that correctly. When you friends ask how you met the love of your life, your answer could begin with “Well, I spit in a tube, and…”

It’s probably not the romantic origin story you were expecting, but it’s certainly one of the most high tech. SingldOut.com claims to be the first online dating site to make matches based on your DNA (I don't think it is as the now defunct Scientific Match tried DNA matching back in 2008). The site is partnered with Instant Chemistry, a service that uses psychology and DNA testing to determine "biological compatibility" in a long-term relationship. Here’s how it works:

• Sign up for a SingldOut membership
• Get an Instant Chemistry DNA kit in the mail
• Spit into the enclosed tube
• Pack it up in the included prepaid envelope, then ship it back to Instant Chemistry
• Take a psychological assessment online
• Receive your results, which are posted to your online dating profile, a week later

Instant Chemstiry tests two "markers" in order to determine compatibility. The first is the serotonin uptake transporter, which is involved in how people react to positive and negative emotions. The second are the genes influencing your immune system.

Research shows there is a strong correlation between people in long-term relationships having different (but complementary) versions of the serotonin and immune system genes, but the science is still in its infancy. SingldOut is “looking at a very small number of genes, and you simply cannot extrapolate a prediction from those genes to long-term compatibility," says Mike Dougherty, director of education for the American Society of Human Genetics. It’s impossible to ignore the other genes and environmental factors that come into play during the complex process of attraction.

These days DNA seems to be the pinnacle of science. There are diets designed around your DNA. Crimes are solved via DNA. You can screen for diseases using your DNA. You can learn about your ancestors by your DNA. It’s no surprise that a company is now attempting to bring dating by DNA to the masses, though even they point out that it’s a stretch to consider DNA a top factor in the choice of a partner.

Is it a conceptually interesting prospect? Yes. Is it effective? Perhaps, when used in conjunction with more traditional methods. Is it deterministic? Absolutely not. Not yet anyway , but aren’t you a least a little bit intrigued at the idea of living in a sci-fi future in which we can be matched with perfect partners based on our biology?

Membership to SingldOut is priced at $199 for three months, $249 for six months or $299 for 12 months. 

I like to think we live in a world where income is unimportant compared to connection, but let’s get real: the world is nowhere even close to that. Like it or not, dating and finances are inextricably intertwined, and that probably isn’t changing any time soon.

The problem becomes even more apparent when you’re dating online, where many profiles include a section for salary. Is it really anyone’s business to know that information before you’ve even met in person? And what are the repercussions, if they do?

If you make significantly less than someone you’re interested in, will you feel inadequate? Will they think you’re only involved with them for their money?

Everybody’s got that one ex in their back catalogue. The one they think they’ll never get over. The one they’re sure is the love of their life. The one who convinces them they’re doomed to singlehood forever, because no one will ever compare.

You'll probably never get that ex back but now, thanks to a partnership between Match.com and a new matchmaking startup, you might have the chance to date someone who looks just like them.

It’s got to be one of the most unusual (or maybe just downright creepy) dating services out there at the moment. Match has teamed up with Three Date Rule to offer a “white-glove approach” to dating for the white-glove price of $5000. For that paltry sum, you can send in photos of your ex that Three Date Rule will use to find you a new suitor.

“If you like one facial structure, you will probably like someone with a similar facial structure,” explains Three Day Rule founder Talia Goldstein. In addition to finding a lookalike, TDR coaches will interview you in person and even go on pre-dates with potential matches to vet them before making an introduction. Why go through the gruelling work of weeding out weirdos when you could hire someone else to do it for you?

Three Day Rule matchmakers are a team of highly-educated dating experts known for their intuition, compassion, trustworthiness, and genuine desire to help clients find meaningful relationships. Most had successful corporate careers before making the transition to matchmaking, often at Fortune 500 companies. What sets the company apart from the competition is its unique blend of traditional matchmaking techniques (like in-depth personality assessment) with cutting-edge facial recognition technology designed to determine what clients are most attracted to.

The powerhouse partnership between Match and Three Date Rule is beneficial on both sides. "We know there is a segment of busy professionals on Match who would love to have a high-touch service to help them find a compatible partner," says Amarnath Thombre, President of Match. "People come to Match because of the quality and scale of our membership base, and now with Three Day Rule as a partner, we can combine the convenience of a white-glove matchmaking service with our huge community of high quality members."

For Three Day Rule, Match’s support means improved access to its current markets and eventual expansion to other markets. “With Match's support, we will be able to further build out our team of matchmakers and realize our vision of becoming the most recognized, trusted, and respected matchmaking brand in the country," says Talia Goldstein.

It’s hard to imagine an Internet in which The Onion doesn’t exist. As far as satirical news is concerned, no one does it better. In a post from spring, The Onion took on online dating and…well…the results are exactly as hilarious as you'd expect them to be.

The Onion’s top tips for finding love online include:

• It’s important to choose an interesting profile picture that reflects the “real you” persona that you’ve cooked up, like a photo of you hiking or at a volunteer event.
• To stand out in a sea of suitors, include something in your profile completely unique to you, like your social security number and checking account information.
• Be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, like going on a series of terrible dates with men you despise.
• Personal details give potential dates a more accurate picture of who you are. Be specific in your profile by mentioning the exact episode and scene that made you give up on Lost.
• Humor is a huge asset in any dating profile. Be charmingly self-deprecating with lines like “I have a soft spot for reality television” and “I’m a bad listener because I’m wrapped up in my own childish self-obsession and do nothing to improve myself.”
• Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email and find an absolutely vulgar and disgusting email from a complete stranger.

So yes, they’re funny…but The Onion’s tips aren’t quite as useless as you think, as long as you’re willing to read between the lines. Look at it this way:

• Photos are a great way to show your personality without have to write about it, which can be tedious to do and boring to read. Choose photos that show you doing what you love, like playing an instrument, traveling the world, or attending a NASCAR race.
• Safety should be taken seriously. Don’t put any identifying information on profile. That includes everything from your phone number to your work address to, yes, your SSN and checking account info.
• Online dating doesn’t work unless you come to it with an open mind. Take a chance on someone who doesn’t immediately tick off every one of your boxes. You might be surprised.
• Including unique personal details is a great way to attract the attention of likeminded suitors. Not everyone will understand your Doctor Who reference if you’re a sci-fi fan, but the ones who do might be better matches for you.
• Humor is a huge asset in a dating profile…just make sure it’s actually funny.
• Remember to relax and have fun! Sometimes, the moment you stop worrying about finding that perfect match is the moment you’ll open your email…and actually find that perfect match.

See? The Onion’s dating advice isn’t nearly as useless as it should be.