Should Your Salary Be A Secret When You’re Online Dating?

I like to think we live in a world where income is unimportant compared to connection, but let’s get real: the world is nowhere even close to that. Like it or not, dating and finances are inextricably intertwined, and that probably isn’t changing any time soon.

The problem becomes even more apparent when you’re dating online, where many profiles include a section for salary. Is it really anyone’s business to know that information before you’ve even met in person? And what are the repercussions, if they do?

If you make significantly less than someone you’re interested in, will you feel inadequate? Will they think you’re only involved with them for their money?

What if you make more money than your potential date? Will they seem unworthy of your attention? Will they feel insecure, like you’re out of their league, and constantly question your interest?  

Gina Stewart, an online dating coach, told Forbes.com that “Most men don’t seem to care quite as much about what a woman makes as much as women care what men make. Men just want a woman who is productive doing something. I’ve yet to see a man discount going out with a woman because she makes too much or not enough for him.”

On the other hand, a survey by AYI.com found that both men and women who say they make more than $150,000 are more likely to be contacted or responded to on online dating sites. Not that a listed salary is any kind of guarantee, of course – a 2010 OKCupid report found that 20% of its users said they made more money than they really did, ostensibly to make themselves seem more attractive.

The obvious answer could be to leave that section blank, which many do. According to the AYI survey, 82% of online daters do not answer the income question at all, and, of those who do, 40% respond “Rather not say.” But the survey also found that online daters who select “Rather not say” are perceived to be lower earners. Although that makes the decision to omit salary info look bleak, it has its pros.

Keeping salary information off your online dating profile protects your privacy, and allows you to choose who to share it with and when it’s appropriate to do so. It also prevents dates from making assumptions about each other before actually meeting and keeps the focus on personality and connection, which should be the more important factors under consideration.

What do you think? Should salary information be shared up front on profiles, or saved for later dates?

For more on the dating site which conducted the survey you can read our Are You Interested review.