Statistics

If you've been on the Internet in the last week - and seeing as this is 2013, there's no way you haven't - you've probably come across an article proclaiming that online dating has scientifically been proven to be better than traditional dating.

Every feed I follow has been blowing up with the news that 1 in 3 Americans now meet their spouses online, and that a new study has found that marriages born out of online dating are more satisfying and less likely to end in divorce. The study's results were published in a paper called "Marital Satisfaction and Breakups Differ Across Online and Offline Meeting Venues" in the current issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"These data suggest that the Internet may be altering the dynamics and outcomes of marriage itself," said the study's lead author John Cacioppo, the Tiffany and Margaret Blake Distinguished Service Professor in Psychology at the University of Chicago.

Before you vow never to meet people in person again, it's important to note that the study was funded by eHarmony.com and Cacioppo is paid as a scientific advisor for eHarmony. Of course, everyone involved promises that eHarmony's backing did not affect the outcomes of the study in any way, but...

I know I'm not the only one looking at this new data with a healthy dose of skepticism.

I am, however, not so skeptical about a few of Cacioppo's claims. Online dating clearly has changed the face of relationships forever, and there's no going back. Cacioppo's research found that nearly 8% of marriages initiated offline end in breakups, while couples who meet online report divorce and separation rates of only 6%.

I'll be holding firmly onto my grains of salt until further studies - ones that aren't in any way connected to online dating sites - confirm his data, but I'm willing to admit that Cacioppo may have a point. Online dating may indeed lead to greater marriage satisfaction for a few key reasons:

1. The pool of prospective partners is significantly larger online, increasing the chance that you'll meet someone you're highly compatible with.
2. Singles who take the step of joining an online dating site may be more serious about finding a long-term partner than singles encountered offline.
3. Online daters may be more honest and up-front about who they are and what they're looking for (barring those infamous little white lies told in profiles), meaning that the connections they form are more genuine.

"It is possible that individuals who met their spouse online may be different in personality, motivation to form a long-term marital relationship, or some other factor," Cacioppo said in a press release.

That sounds like the perfect opportunity for another study - one that isn't funded by an online dating giant.

Related Article: The Secret To A Happy Marriage Is…Online Dating?

If I asked what you think the secret to a happy marriage is, what would you say?

Communication?

Date nights?

Spontaneity?

Thoughtfulness?

Respect?

Acceptance?

They're all good answers, but a new study suggests that the real answer might be something you weren't expecting: online dating.

Didn't see that one coming, did you? (Ok, sure, if you read the title you did...but humor me.)

The Internet has forever changed the way people communicate, work, play, create, and date. 1/3 of American couples now meet their partners online, through email, dating sites, and social networks.

In a survey study of more than 19,000 Americans who married between 2005 and 2012, 5% divorced, 2% separated, and 92% remained married. The couples observed were generally representative of the population, but a few demographics showed a particular inclination towards online dating:

• Men
• People in their 30s and 40s
• Hispanics
• People who are employed
• People with higher socioeconomic statuses

Even after accounting for the differences between subjects, the study drew two primary conclusions. The first will surprise no one: the popularity of online dating has increased across every segment of American society. The second comes as more of a shock: marriages that began online were found to be longer lasting and more satisfying for couples.

Lead author of the study John Cacioppo, a psychologist and director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago, explains the findings by saying dating sites may "attract people who are serious about getting married."

A sociologist, Michael Rosenfeld of Stanford University, backs up Cacioppo's findings. In his own research, he found that "couples who meet online are more likely to progress to marriage than couples who meet in other ways."

But the study is not without its critics. "It's a very impressive study," says social psychologist Eli Finkel of Northwestern University. "But it was paid for by somebody with a horse in the race and conducted by an organization that might have an incentive to tell this story."

That's right - the study was commissioned by eHarmony, which shelled out $130,000 to pay for the research. Cacioppo has also been a member of eHarmony's Scientific Advisory Board since it was created in 2007.

Is it intriguing research? Yes. But does that sound like a major conflict of interest? Absolutely.

Sure, online dating is a great way to meet a partner with high levels of compatibility and real marriage potential. But is online dating better than offline dating? Survey says: inconclusive.

Baby boomers may be getting older, but online dating is proving that it will never get old.

OurTime.com is the largest dating community for singles aged 50 plus, which also makes it home to one of the fastest-growing demographics in the market. Boomer dating is experiencing a colossal boom, and OurTime.com is right at the front lines of the action.

According to the 2012 US census, more than 1/3 of the 107 million singles in the country are over the age of 50. But despite their growing numbers and increasing influence, the senior set is a dating demographic that is still largely misunderstood. OurTime is out to change that, with a new set of mature dating statistics that prove tech-savvy singles come in every age.

The 50+ singles scene is made up of a diverse group of daters:

• The membership ratio for OurTime.com is 45% men to 55% women.
• 69% of OurTime members are single parents.
• Nearly 70% have already been married at least once. 54% are divorced, and 15% are widowed. Only 50% of users in their 50s say they're interested in getting married again, a percentage which decreases dramatically once they reach their 60s (8%) and their 70s (5%).

Seniors don't have a reputation for being the most technologically advanced age group, but online dating is proving that they know their way around a computer just as well as their younger counterparts.

• OurTime members log-on an average of 44 times and view 81 profiles during a 90-day period.
• 1 in 5 Our Time members users a mobile device to log-on. Their device of choice? The iPad, of course.
• OurTime.com's membership has jumped 66% over the last two years.
• Senior dating has been particularly popular in Kansas City, MO, Tuscon, AZ, San Diego, CA, Rochester, NY, and St. Louis, MO.

Here's what singles are looking for in their more mature years:

• "Nature and Outdoors" is the #1 interest listed on profiles by both male and female OurTime members.
• For men, sports ranks second and fitness comes in third.
• For women, family and friends takes the #2 spot and travel comes in at #3.
• Physical attraction is also an important factor: 87% of singles ages 50-70 say it's a must-have.

"This is a vibrant, growing community of singles that's taking the dating scene by storm," said Dr. Terri Orbuch, relationship expert for OurTime.com, "and rightfully so. By and large this age group is happier, more secure, and even feeling sexier than their younger counterparts. They also are a better judge of the type of person who will make them happy, so it's the perfect stage of life to be looking for love."

It is clearly OurTime's time to shine. For more information on this dating site you can read our review of OurTime.

The online dating industry is booming, but there's a dark cloud lurking on the horizon. For users, a successful stint of online dating ends in meeting a match and no longer needing a dating site. But for the dating sites themselves, business success means retaining customers and keeping them coming back for more. Clearly, there's a conflict of interest. Houston, we have a problem.

eHarmony may have the answer. While some dating sites are developing products for couples in order to remain relevant in users' lives, eHarmony is taking a very different approach.

With 565,000 marriages under its belt so far, eHarmony now plans to expand from the marriage market to the job market. eHarmony vice president Grant Langston says the company will launch a service to match employers with job seekers in the U.S. in June, followed shortly afterwards by a launch in Canada.

"We've seen indicators that 60 to 65 per cent of people are unhappy with their jobs, whether or not they are actively searching for new ones," Langston says. Expanding into the job market is a natural progression for eHarmony, he believes, given the company's extensive research into habits, desires, and personality types.

The typical hiring process is driven by employers, who ask a series of questions and evaluate potential employees' skills to assess suitability for the position. eHarmony's approach to hiring will look a little different: employers and employees will complete extensive questionnaires focused on culture to determine whether they're a good match for each other.

"When employers post a job on eHarmony, job seekers in the database will be matched to that job and both parties will be notified," TheStar.com reports. "They can review each others' profile and communicate online before meeting face-to-face."

Research agrees that the eHarmony approach to job hunting might be more effective. In December of last year, an issue of the American Sociological Review reported on a study of the recruiting practices of over a hundred professional service firms that found that applicants and employers with similarities in experiences, hobbies, and personal appearance made the best matches.

Langston is confident that the idea has a future, but acknowledges that there may be a few bumps along the way. eHarmony plans to allow for a year to iron out the kinks in the new service, and hasn't ruled out purchasing an online job board that can be combined with existing matching services. To date, there is no word on who will pay for the service or how much it will cost.

Amongst the Catfish-induced hysteria that has become such a cultural phenomenon, some are attempting to shed light on the actual likelihood of being scammed online. What's Your Price may not sound like the most reliable or scientific of sources (ok, it definitely doesn't), but they are the latest to join the conversation on online dating honesty.

What's Your Price's recent study found that - surprise! - people do lie on the their profiles. But (and this may actually be a surprise to some of you), they rarely lie about anything major. Women tend to lie about their weight; men tend to lie about their height, income, and marital status.

When you break it down by city, the biggest online dating liars reside in Washington, D.C. - there's definitely a joke about lying politicians in the somewhere, but I'll leave it to you to fill in the blank. Following in the footsteps of D.C. are Atlanta and New York, while the opposite end of the spectrum is occupied by Houston, Phoenix, Boston, Charlotte, and Minneapolis.

Research has shown that around 81% of online daters misrepresent some part of their identity on their profiles. It sounds like a lot, but when you think about it, just as many people stretch the truth when you meet them in person. It's the curse of the dating game in general, not the curse of the online dating game specifically.

The majority of online dating lies are small, because anything larger would quickly be caught upon meeting in person for the first time, and relatively harmless. In fact, some researchers even think those little lies could be beneficial for your mental health and dating prospects.

A 2009 study found that some little white lies - like exaggerating your college GPA - can lead to genuinely improved performance. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. In other words: there's a scientific basis for 'fake it 'til you make it.'

"Exaggerators tend to be more confident and have higher goals for achievement," said Richard Gramzow, a psychologist at the University of Southampton in England and one of the study's co-authors. "Positive biases about the self can be beneficial."

Liars also tend to be happier than other people, and are viewed as friendlier and more amiable than their more truthful counterparts. A few fibs may also be key to standing out in the over-saturated online dating market.

So should you lie in your online dating profile?

Who knows?

But will you do it?

Most likely.

Confession #1: I am guilty.

I will be the first to admit that the prospect of acquiring a partner and acquiring that partner's debt is a little scary. I attended one of the most expensive private universities in the country - it's terrifying contemplating my own debt, much less my debt combined with someone else's.

Years ago, when a new date confessed he was multiple tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt, I could feel some of my excitement about him evaporate. It was like someone instantly started lowering the volume on my attraction knob.

Confession #2: His debt never affected our relationship, which turned out to be a long and very happy one. Although it ended up being a total non-issue, I still remember how I felt when those words first came out of his mouth. It may not have been one for me, but is debt a dating dealbreaker for others?

eHarmony paired up with CreditCards.com to answer that question. Here's what their study revealed:

• 65% of men and 71% of women agreed that sharing the same attitudes towards managing money is the most important factor in a relationship.
• 48% of men and 57% of women say debt is a turn-off in a partner.
• Keeping credit card debt a secret is a breakup-worthy offense to 54% of men and 70% of women (that's the same percentage of women who would breakup with a partner if they found out he had a criminal history).
• The most common arguments for couples are about money, say 71% of men and 75% of women.
• Would you pool your money with a partner if you thought he or she was irresponsible with finances? 72% of men and 80% of women say "No."

That sounds like a whole lot of bad news, but don't fret - there are a couple of lights at the end of the tunnel. Debt may be a deal breaker to some, but it's not the most serious offense a partner can commit. Most men and women think a criminal history and cheating are bigger reasons to break off a relationship.

Most Americans also believe that a partner's spending habits can be changed. 69% say it's ok to insist that a partner alter his or her spending habits. Looking at it by gender, 70% of men and 68% of women think they should try to influence a partner's monetary decisions.

When it comes to money matters, money matters. Be honest with your partners and make sure you're on the same financial page.