Is Debt A Dating Dealbreaker?

Confession #1: I am guilty.

I will be the first to admit that the prospect of acquiring a partner and acquiring that partner's debt is a little scary. I attended one of the most expensive private universities in the country - it's terrifying contemplating my own debt, much less my debt combined with someone else's.

Years ago, when a new date confessed he was multiple tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt, I could feel some of my excitement about him evaporate. It was like someone instantly started lowering the volume on my attraction knob.

Confession #2: His debt never affected our relationship, which turned out to be a long and very happy one. Although it ended up being a total non-issue, I still remember how I felt when those words first came out of his mouth. It may not have been one for me, but is debt a dating dealbreaker for others?

eHarmony paired up with CreditCards.com to answer that question. Here's what their study revealed:

• 65% of men and 71% of women agreed that sharing the same attitudes towards managing money is the most important factor in a relationship.
• 48% of men and 57% of women say debt is a turn-off in a partner.
• Keeping credit card debt a secret is a breakup-worthy offense to 54% of men and 70% of women (that's the same percentage of women who would breakup with a partner if they found out he had a criminal history).
• The most common arguments for couples are about money, say 71% of men and 75% of women.
• Would you pool your money with a partner if you thought he or she was irresponsible with finances? 72% of men and 80% of women say "No."

That sounds like a whole lot of bad news, but don't fret - there are a couple of lights at the end of the tunnel. Debt may be a deal breaker to some, but it's not the most serious offense a partner can commit. Most men and women think a criminal history and cheating are bigger reasons to break off a relationship.

Most Americans also believe that a partner's spending habits can be changed. 69% say it's ok to insist that a partner alter his or her spending habits. Looking at it by gender, 70% of men and 68% of women think they should try to influence a partner's monetary decisions.

When it comes to money matters, money matters. Be honest with your partners and make sure you're on the same financial page.