I will always be one of the first to insist that men and women can just be friends. I have great friendships with women. I have great friendships with men. And I don't see a difference...friends are just friends, right? If you get along with someone gender doesn't matter, does it?

A new study called "Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship" has examined the controversial issue of male-female friendships, and found that the answer is no...and yes. Inconclusive? Yup. Interesting anyway? Definitely. Here's how it worked and what they found...

Interested in examining how heterosexual, opposite-sex friends tackled the issue of sexual attraction in their friendships, a group of researchers asked 88 pairs of opposite-sex, college-age friends to fill out questionnaires about their friendships. Participants answered questions about their friendships - including questions about their levels of attraction to each other - separately. To ensure honesty, all responses were kept confidential, even after the conclusion of the study.

The results showed that men tend to be more attracted to their female friends than female friends are attracted to their male friends. Overestimating women's interest is common amongst men, says April Bleske-Rechek, a psychologist at the University of Wisconsin who worked on the study. "Men over-infer women's sexual interest in a variety of contexts," she explains, "and I definitely see that extending into the domain of cross-sex friendships as well."

Men and women were equally likely to report finding their opposite-sex friends attractive even when they were already romantically involved with someone else, but more men said they'd like to go on a date with their female friends. Fewer women said they would be interested in dating male friends, preferring to keep their relationships platonic.

The research team then expanded their investigation to a second study, which asked 107 young adults ages 18 to 23 and 322 adults between the ages of 27 and 55 to list reasons why cross-sex friendships are both beneficial and burdensome. They were overwhelmingly voted beneficial, though adults reported having fewer opposite-sex friends than the younger group.

What's most interesting about the pros and cons list is that "attraction" almost always fell on the "burden" side of the cost-benefit analysis. Men were less likely to call attraction a burden than women, but both men and women were unlikely to see it as a positive aspect of an opposite-sex friendship.

So does that mean men and women can't be friends after all? Of course not. But it may be wise to be clear and upfront about exactly what your intentions for a new relationship are. If you want to be romantically involved, set the foundation for that right away. Don't build a close, platonic friendship first in hopes that it will one day turn into something more.

I have never been the most romantic of gals. I never fantasized about being swept off my feet by Prince Charming or a knight in shining amour. I always found the idea that there's only ONE person out there for each of us - a soulmate - to be a little silly (and, frankly, far too limiting). And the idea of "love at first sight" seems more than a little corny to me.

Now a new dating service is trying to make those of us who are romantic realists change our minds. 1iDreamofU is a new online social dating site that allows members to visually create an image of the person they would like to meet, making "love at first sight" a reality.

So it's like The Sims for my love life? I'm totally in.

After a user creates the image of their perfect match, the IDOU software compares the image, along with responses to questions on demographics and relationships, to other members on the site to make the match. Joe Schwinger, President of eXcelaweb, the company responsible for IDOU's custom software, says "The software associated with IDOU's creation leverages a unique algorithm which allows users to custom select and compile every asset of the person they want to create. The compiled assets, the image of a person, are shared via social networks to crowdsource that perfect match."

New users can create their dream guy or girl from the ground up, customizing every detail - from ethnicity, to facial structure, to eye, nose, mouth, and hair shapes - or chose from "Almost Famous" faces or already-created base faces. After the Dream has been built, users rank their chosen features from most to least important.

Following the creation of the Dream, users answer typical dating site questions about relationship status, religious and political beliefs, occupation, and education. Other questions ask users to describe their "Actual Saturday" and their "Ideal Saturday," and to go into more detail about themselves and the date they're looking for. You can create as many Dreams as you want in search of your perfect match.

Once the Dream is created and your profile has been completed, hit the Search button to receive your matches. You can use advanced search features to filter the results, and can organize matches by adding them to your favorites, connecting with them, or blocking them. To initiate a conversation, send a message (you can even use a pre-made subject headline) and start talking! You can also ask your friends to help you find your Dream by sharing it on Facebook and Twitter.

Karen Howard, President of KLEA, Inc., the owner of the IDOU brand, says this of the new site: "IDOU is fun and entertaining in that you can create a person just for the experience or in the hopes of meeting the person you've built. That you can share the person you created with friends through social media is an added bonus."

Online dating can seem a bit intimidating - meeting a complete stranger and seeing if you click. But what if the potential dates you meet are friends of friends, or people connected to you through a social network? Would that make a difference?

Circl.es is betting on it. This dating app uses Facebook to help you find other single friends of your friends - ones you might not necessarily run into in real life. (Especially if you prefer to spend time interacting with people online rather than in person.)

Even though they just launched in April, Circl.es is already steadily gaining active users. There is no "online dating profile" per se, or a long list of questions to answer before you see your matches, just your basic stats. When you join, you share the basics of what you're looking for - body type, age, etc. and you can scroll through its list of friends of friends in your vicinity. It pulls your basic Facebook information - like birthday, where you live, and general info and likes to match you. It's pretty simple, and it won't match you with your own friends so you don't have to explain that embarrassing situation.

A great feature: there is a disclaimer when you join, stating that Circl.es won't show up in your timeline, and that your information won't be shared with anyone who doesn't fit your criteria. Your information is kept pretty private, as long as you're willing to share some of your Facebook life with potential dates. But keep in mind there isn't the same privacy and anonymity you have with online dating sites.

With Circl.es, your Facebook information isn't visible unless you meet a few criteria, namely that you have a friend in common and that you match each other's basic criteria in a partner (including being single). So, it's not like you're disclosing your Facebook page to just anyone - but keep in mind, you're still putting your information out there for non-friends to see, so be sure to keep the full disclosures and drunken photos to a minimum. (See my previous articles on how to use Facebook as a dating tool for more information.)

Circl.es isn't the first dating app to utilize the vast network of Facebook, and probably won't be the last. I have to admit, social media lends itself to dating, if only because we are addicted to checking in with our friends and followers all day long - social media captures our attention and engages us, so why not find a date while we're updating our status?

In a not too surprising move IAC announced last Friday that it has acquired the free dating site DateHookup.com. No financial terms of the agreement have been disclosed. IAC already owns such popular dating sites as Match.com, Chemistry.com and OkCupid. Datehookup.com was founded by Dustin Weirich in 2002 and has grown over the years to become the 6th most visited dating site on the internet. Every month DateHookup.com receives over 1 million unique visitors.

Over the past few years IAC has acquired a number of dating sites. Here are their most recent purchases:

• 2011 – OkCupid for $50 million (see Story)
• 2010 – Singlesnet (see Story)
• 2009 – People Media for $80 million (see Story)

Every year since 2009 IAC has bought a dating site. If the pattern holds true I wonder who they plan to purchase in 2013? I heard rumors a while ago that they may be interested in Cupid PLC since they are performing well in the European market. I have my doubts it will happen though, since Cupid PLC does operate some adult oriented dating services.

For more on the story you can read the IAC press release. To find out more about the dating sites involved you can read our Match.com review and DateHookup.com review.

eHarmony here in the United States and Canada is having a free communication event this weekend which starts Friday August 31, 2012. It will run for 4 days and end at 11:59 pm on Monday September 3, 2012.

Free communication weekends are for both new and existing eHarmony members. If you do not have a membership yet all you need to do is signup for the service. No credit card is required. Once you have become a member and completed the personality profile eHarmony will pre-screen your matches and only send you the profiles of members that have the greatest chance of creating a long-term relationship with you. Once you have selected the matches you like you can then communicate with these matches for free all weekend. Free communication weekends do not include photos, Secure Call (a phone service), or Skip to Email (via the guided communication process).

The last free communication weekend at eHarmony happen in July on the Independence Day holiday (see Story). By our count this will be the 41st free communication event at eHarmony.com.

To find out more about this popular matchmaking service and how it compares with others, you can check out our eHarmony review.

The latest trend in online dating may be one that surprises you: offline dating. Yep, that's right...online dating is going retro.

Match.com announced The Stir, the newest addition to its list of services, on its blog in May 2012. Stir events update the classic "singles night" for 21st century daters, with happy hours, cooking classes, wine tastings, bowling nights, dance lessons, and other opportunities to socialize with eligible singles. The guest list for each event is customized using Match's group matching algorithms in terms of age, gender, and interests to facilitate maximum compatibility between guests.

Match's decision to take dating back to its roots seems to have started a trend. "Several sites are bringing people together the old-fashioned way, with singles parties where people can crowd together at bars while consuming alcohol and flirting," says an article in The New York Times. The hope is that offline events will help daters identify compatibility more quickly, instead of wasting weeks or months corresponding online with someone who turns out to be completely wrong when you meet in person.

I'll admit it: at first I was a little confused. Why would I bother joining a dating site if I was going to end up meeting someone in a bar or restaurant anyway? Isn't the point of online dating that the fancy matching algorithms do all the hard work for me? Isn't the whole allure of online dating sites that the science behind their matching systems is supposed to be more accurate than your ability to judge compatibility?

The answer apparently lays somewhere in between the two extremes. Emily Clapp, who spoke about her experience attending an event organized by OkCupid to the New York Times, says that the site acts as a filter, increasing the odds that the other attendees are also single, looking for love, and not too creepy. But, she also adds, "it's a little more random than regular online dating."

Ok, I guess I can see the appeal. And it seems a lot of other people can, too. Match claims to have held a few hundred Stir events every month since May in more than 50 cities. OkCupid has organized about 100 events in New York since July and has plans to expand the service to San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, and a few other cities in October. Mobile services, like MeetMoi and Grindr, are based on apps that broadcast users' locations for on-the-spot dates or hookups. MeetMoi has also been hosting get-togethers to bring groups of users to the same place at the same time.

Is this the beginning of the end for matching algorithms? Are we giving up on the idea that personality tests and data can accurately predict compatibility? It looks like online dating is in for some big changes in the next couple of years...

For more information on the dating services offering offline events please read our Match.com review and our OkCupid review.