Mismatched Intentions Can Lead to Burnout According to a Study by Badoo

Online dating can be time consuming, but it can also lead to burnout when matches are looking for different things, according to a new study by dating app Badoo.

The dating app surveyed its users and found that 78 percent can relate to experiencing burnout from dating, and that it can often feel like a chore because of mismatched intentions about what they are looking for. Dating fatigue happens a lot when dates aren’t honest about what they want from a romantic connection, according to Metro UK.

In addition to the feeling of wasted time spent dating people who aren’t so compatible, there’s also a cost - daters spend roughly 285 GBP per year on what are ultimately failed dates, and on average, daters have about six bad dates per year.

Interestingly, the study found that while the vast majority of daters experience burnout from others not being clear about their intentions, 82 percent of respondents also wished they could be more honest and open about their own. While daters might crave honesty from others, they are not coming clean with their romantic matches, which contributes to the burnout cycle. 

About a quarter of respondents said they find it difficult to be honest about their intentions, and 27 percent admitted they say what they think their dates want to hear instead of how they truly feel. About a third of respondents struggle to express their intentions out of fear of how the other person will react. 

In fact, much of the fear surrounding being open and honest about what you are looking for are rooted in societal stereotypes. Badoo found that 27 percent of respondents said societal pressures affect what they look for (i.e., if their friends and family hoping to see them in a committed relationship), and 60 percent feel that others are judging them based on their age and gender, particularly women, who often feel like others expect them to want to settle down, even if they aren’t looking for anything serious.  

How Intentions Works on Badoo

Thanks to the study, Badoo has released an “intention setting” feature where users can be upfront about what they want before matching with someone else, saving daters time and helping to avoid burnout without the awkward conversation. There are three options to choose from: “Here to date” (no expectations or labels, just dating), “ready for a relationship” (seriously looking for a partner), and “open to chat” (low-key, no pressure to go out).

Other dating apps have incorporated similar features so daters can let others know upfront how they feel, which relieves the stress of having these kinds of conversations before you get to know someone.