Profiles

Starting Saturday July 25th, when members of eHarmony logged into their accounts, they found a message about a new feature and profile questions. There are 7 new questions which focus on commonalities. The multiple choice questions look at common traits that include things like your approach to money and food, cleanliness and humor. Once completed you can then see how your commonalities compare with other members when you view their profiles. While these questions are part of your profile, they are not taken into account when you are automatically matched with other members by eHarmony. That is what the other 256 profile questions are for.

Be careful when you fill out the commonality questions, as it looks right now, you cannot edit the answers once you have saved them.

To find out more details about this matchmaking service, read our review of eHarmony.

Every dating site has its own spin on the dating profile format. In this series, I'll take a look at some of the different profile formats and how you can write your best profile for that particular service. OkCupid is one of the free dating sites available to singles - absolutely no cost to join or use features. They are famous for their crazy quizzes and the "Friend / Enemy" percentages they use to indicate a match (or lack thereof!).

After filling out your basic stats and such, you are faced with the following sections to complete:

My Self-Summary

this is the quick and dirty version of who you are. OKCupid profiles are notoriously long, so brevity is of the essence here. Imagine yourself as a box of cereal on the supermarket shelf and write those few lines that describe you as succinctly as possible while making you sound tasty and worth eating.

What I'm Doing With My Life

This is your area to write about your school, job, kids. Again, keep it brief but interesting.

I'm Really Good At

This one can be a list of the things you excel at doing or you can write a sentence or two about one thing that you do very well.

The First Thing(s) People Usually Notice About Me

If you don't know the answer to this one, poll your friends. Do you stick out because you're really tall/short? Do you have pink hair? Are your fingernails always painted funky colors? Is your wardrobe stuck in the 1940s?

My Favorite Books, Movies, Music, and Food

You don't have to hit all of these. You can do these in a list or a paragraph, but don't make it an exhaustive list. Think top 2 or 3 of the category, not top 20.

The Six Things I Could Never Do Without

Very straightforward. List your top 6. (If you are a guy seeking a girl, putting "sex" in the list doesn't make you witty.)

I Spend a Lot of Time Thinking About

World Peace? How your cell phone works? Why the cable delivery guy is always late? Keep this answer short and either profound or witty. Bonus points if you can make it profound AND witty.

On A Typical Friday Night, I Am

While this does say "typical," if your typical Friday is lounging on your couch flipping through the channels, you may want to stretch the truth and talk about another activity you do semi-frequently on the weekends.

The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit Here

Don't TMI (too much information). You can mention something weird ("My cat insists on following me into the bathroom, no matter what I plan to do in there.) or funny ("I frequently get 80s cartoon theme songs stuck in my head and have been known to be caught humming Mighty Mouse's song in business meetings."). But don't get too personal. That's for later.

You Should Message Me If

This is your call to action - someone read (or skimmed) your profile all the way down to here. What's the last thing you can say that convinces them to email you? If you just say "if you think I'm interesting and worth getting to know" you'll get a lot fewer responses than if you tied it into your previous profile text and said something like "you've ever been caught humming or whistling an entirely inappropriate song for the given situation." This is your last hurrah - make it count!

OkCupid.com allows you to have lots of pictures. I recommend at least 4, but no more than 6. One picture should be a close-up of your face, one full body shot, and the rest can be of your choosing (group shot, action shot, more close-ups, etc).

Best of luck getting Cupid to shoot you! Next in the series... PlentyofFish profiles!

For more information on the dating site mentioned in this article, read our OKCupid.com review.

Every dating site has its own spin on the dating profile format. In this series, I'll take a look at some of the different profile formats and how you can write your best profile for that particular service. JDate.com, part of the Spark Networks family of dating sites, is focused on matching Jewish (and Jewish-friendly) singles.

JDate's profile is in four tabs: Basics, Lifestyle, Interests, and Relationship.

Basics

Here is where your About me paragraph goes. Only a paragraph (maybe two!) is necessary here to give people a taste of who you are and what you do. The purpose of this section is to intrigue people into contacting you, not to dish your life story. Be fascinating, but brief.

Lifestyle & Interests

No paragraphs to fill out here, just things to select or not select.

Be careful when selecting checkboxes for your personality. Your idea of "stubborn" may be that it takes you a little while to be convinced to eat at a new restaurant. Your potential match may read it as "will challenge me on everything and make my life miserable" because that's what their ex's flavor of "stubborn" happened to be. Tread carefully.

Relationship

There are four optional paragraphs in this section. There are some MAJOR traps in these, so read carefully so you know how to avoid them:

My ideal relationship:

Here's where you describe the style of relationship you want. Think in terms of the kind of activities you'd like to do with your future mate. "I'm looking for a man who likes a long walk after dinner so we can burn off dessert while we chat." or "She's the type of girl who always thinks of the little things that I'd forget - like keeping extra Lactaid pills in her purse so I don't have to skip out on Cold Stone!" Don't mention the scary "m" word - monogamy. Most people agree that it's a good idea, and are kinda put-off by seeing you flat-out request it.

My past relationships:

Don't fill out this question. Seriously, it invites too much negativity. If you really need to fill it out, mention the positive qualities of your past relationships. For example, "Each of my ex's has taught me something interesting. Thanks to Dave, I can follow a football game. Thanks to Daniel, I know how to rollerblade (and love it!). Thanks to Justin, I have an urge to go back to school and get my PhD!"

I'm looking for a:

Here's the section where you can list the qualities of the person you'd like to date. Be specific about character, but leave the details of looks, job, etc out. Focus on the type of person, not the specifics.

My perfect first date:

Up to you here. What I'd suggest is mentioning a place or activity you'd like to try but haven't yet. That gives your potential match a good idea of something to talk to you about in their first email. "This may sound crazy, but I really want to try that new burger place on Long Street. It's not really a fancy first date, but I really love a juicy burger!

Jdate.com allows you to have four pictures. One picture should be a close-up of your face, one full body shot, and two of your choosing (group shot, action shot, another close-up, etc).

Best of luck with your JDating! Next in the series... OkCupid profiles!

For more information on the dating site mentioned in this article, read our JDate.com review.

Listen up, guys. Even though you’re going to be doing most of the legwork when it comes to online dating, you still need to have an awesome dating profile to convince those ladies to write you a return email!

Here are the biggest mistakes men make and how to avoid them:

1) Horrible pictures.

I’ll go into this in depth in another article. The short version? Smile. Keep your shirt on. Don’t post pictures of yourself drinking or in the middle of a gaggle of women (or worse, strippers). Post the types of pictures you wouldn’t mind your grandmother seeing. Nice, clean, respectable, a little fun, but nothing crazy.

2) Not long enough.

Size matters, guys. If your dating profile just makes the minimum character length to be accepted into the system, it doesn’t say enough about you to make a woman interested in getting to know you better.

Christine makes a good point in this article from the Palm Beach Post. Certain profile preferences on dating sites shouldn't be negotiable. This will differ from person to person but most singles would agree that their view on how much they want their potential partner drinking and/or smoking will not change, especially if the person says NEVER. Usually they have a very good reason.

In Christine's case she is a recovering alcoholic and she had told eHarmony that she didn't want a match who drinks. After only a few matches from eHarmony, she received an email from the dating site suggesting she widen her match preferences in regards to drinking, to someone who may have a drink at least once a week. Obviously this would not work for someone like Christine.

I think dating sites like eHarmony which are designed to match singles based on complex matching system need to take into account the deal breakers every person has when it comes to being partnered with someone. For me it is smoking, for someone one else it may be location or religion. eHarmony should realize asking someone to modify a matching preference which may be a core belief could lead to upset customers.

Online dating, while not a new technology, is pretty new to many people. And unlike classified ads that we read for years and years before we actually write one ourselves, online dating profiles are a bit of a sink or swim proposition.

Don’t worry ladies. Here’s what you need to know to make sure your profile doesn’t sink.

1) Choose flattering – but not provocative! – photos.

It may be tempting to think “I’ll post this cleavage shot so I get more people paying attention to my profile.” In a way, you’re very right. More people will pay attention. However, for the most part they won’t be the type of men interested in a long term relationship. Keep the Three B’s (breasts – belly – butt) out of your dating photos.

2) Don’t refer to yourself as royalty.

You may think it’s adorable to refer to yourself as a princess. You want to be treated like a queen (don’t we all!). You’re a delicious diva. These are all fine and good when you’re joking with your friends, but a total stranger will read it as one thing: HIGH MAINTENANCE. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!