Love

Tick, tick, tick… the countdown to the end of February is almost over, the month with Valentine’s Day. Dating services are still in full swing and are still going strong.

Zoosk took the opportunity of the holiday to survey its members about what romance means in 2018. With so many singles now turning to technology to find someone special, dating looks more than a little different than it did in decades past. But are we less romantic as a result? Or is Cupid working his magic just the same as he always has?

After surveying 9,000 members and reviewing data from 750,000 profiles and 200,000 messages, Zoosk has confidently declared that romance is alive and thriving. The study reveals how modern singles express love, which romantic words will get you matches, and which gifts and gestures are sure bets for impressing dates.

Here are a few highlights:

Match.com has released its seventh annual Singles in America study, the nation’s largest and most comprehensive annual survey of dating in the United States.

The 2017 survey is set to reveal surprising data and trends on new dating rituals, the impact of social media on the dating landscape, shifting gender roles, and attitudes about love, sex, and relationships across generations.

Unsurprisingly, Millennials were a major focus of the study. The much talked-about generation is “diligently using technology to find love,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor to Match, “and building new dating rules and taboos along the way.”

Summer is officially behind us (except for those of you in the southern hemisphere), which means the start of the holiday season. And while you might be missing those warm nights, there’s a good chance your love life will improve in the new season.

Autumn has been proven to be the season for finding lasting love, whether it’s because people are socializing more, or the rush and romance of the holidays, or the fact that cold nights by the fire inspire romantic notions. To help you get a jump start this season, dating site Match has put together a few statistics about the best ways to find love, based on its annual survey of thousands of people in the US, called Singles in America.

First of all, Match encourages you to give love a real chance, and not to expect instant chemistry to lead to a long-term romance. In fact, Match found that a majority of daters – 59% of men and women – do not expect to feel chemistry until the second date, and 35% reported they have fallen deeply in love with someone they didn’t initially find attractive.

Let’s let this settle a moment: 35% of survey respondents admitted they have fallen in love with someone they weren’t initially attracted to. This goes against many romantic stories we have been told of love at first sight, and it’s also heartening to know that chemistry builds over time.

Here’s some advice Match shared about what works and what doesn’t on a first date, to help you get to the second date where the real magic can happen:

Love doesn’t come with a textbook. There are no rubrics or cheat sheets. And it definitely doesn’t look like what you see in the movies.

Modern dating is complex and constantly evolving. Relationships are not easy to build and maintain, but they never were. Love comes in many guises - some readily recognizable, some not.

Forget what you know from Twilight. Unrealistic expectations can kill a relationship before it even starts. The reality? It isn’t always pretty, but it’s all we’ve got. These 4 life lessons may not be easy to learn, but they’re essential to lasting love.

There’s a lot of dating advice out there. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with what you should and shouldn’t do when you’re online dating, messaging, or just sorting through your matches, and that’s okay. You learn as you go, one step at a time.

In my experience with dating and giving dating advice, there are a few things that I think are overlooked by the experts. Most advice centers around the practical: what types of photos to use, what messages get the best response, and why you shouldn’t talk about politics on the first date. These are all great tips, but I want to offer a few additional nuggets I’ve learned along the way.

According to Match’s Singles in America Study, most people are interested in long-term relationships, especially men. However, if you spend much time in the real world of online dating and dating apps, you see a different story unfold: most people are afraid to commit, less they lose their options for meeting other people.

It’s a double-edged sword: there are more options now thanks to apps like Tinder which have made meeting people online very easy, but there’s also the problem of choice as Aziz Ansari talks about in his book Modern Romance. When there are too many options, people tend to feel less satisfied with any one choice.

So what should daters do?

I read a Washington Post article recently penned by a single Mom, who used to find online dating a horrible, time-consuming experience. But since apps came into the picture and she’s able to swipe at any time, like say – between diaper changes or feedings, she finds it absolutely freeing. Dating apps have given her more confidence, because she knows that even when she has a bad date, she can always find someone else. At any time.

But for those of us who have experience looking for love for months or even years, you can start to feel a little bitter and exhausted from the process. After all, how many first dates can you go on before you feel like you’ve had the same conversations and met the same types over and over?

That’s why this summer I have a proposition: instead of looking for someone special, or jumping into a relationship too soon, or getting too excited about an online match before you’ve even met, try taking a step back. Swipe right on more profiles than you want. Try dating a range of people outside of a “type” you find most attractive.

And most importantly, date more than one person at a time. Really.

There’s no reason to continue with serial monogamy this summer, when you do have choices and you can explore your dating options a bit more than you have in the past. Instead of getting excited and let down, riding that roller coaster, try scheduling more dates and seeing all the people you can meet.

There’s no reason to fixate on one choice when you aren’t exclusive. Dating means exploring your options, testing the waters, and seeing who is out there. Plus, when you date outside your type, you are adding to your choices.

I’m not trying to stress out your already busy schedule, but why not take advantage of longer summer nights by keeping your options open? It can’t hurt. And you might have more fun when you don’t take things so seriously.