Divorce

Let's face it: dating after a breakup of any kind isn't easy. Dating after a divorce is even harder. And online dating after divorce, especially if you've never dated online before, can be downright terrifying. Some of you will feel like throwing in the towel before you've even entered the ring.

But here's the good news: you're not the first person to date after a divorce, and you certainly won't be the last. The process doesn't have to be stressful if you don't want it to be (and why would you want it to be?).

Here are a few things to keep in mind if you want to date after a divorce without driving yourself insane:

1. Stop thinking that online dating is for losers. Seriously, this stereotype is getting old. It's well past time to bury it. These days you're practically in the minority if you haven't tried it. In no way is online dating a sign of failure - it's an awesome opportunity to meet people you never would have met otherwise.
2. Remember it's just a date and there are plenty more out there. In fact, you don't even have to think of it as dating. Just think of it as a chance to meet interesting new people. If you click - great. If you don't - no big deal. Never be afraid to say "next" if it doesn't feel right.
3. Do your best to manage your expectations. Be honest, because it's the right thing to do, but remember that not everyone else will be. That person who sounds perfect on paper might not be so perfect in person. On the other hand, take a chance on someone who doesn't sound quite right in the beginning - you never know who's going to surprise you.
4. Meet as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. It's easy to create a fantasy version of someone when you're chatting online. Don't waste weeks wrapped up in make-believe only to find out that you're not actually compatible in real life.
5. There's no rush. Take it slowly, even if you meet and hit it off right away. If this is the person for you, the bond will grow in its own time.
6. Have a sense of humor about it. Crazy things can happen when you're online dating. The experience will be so much more rewarding if you can laugh at the lunacy when it happens.
7. Don't go looking for your next spouse right away. Have fun DATING. If you only date to find the love of your life, you'll probably be disappointed most of the time. If you're also open to meeting a new friend, making a business contact, or just enjoying a few hours of conversation with someone new, you'll enjoy the process so much more.

Have you ever wondered why most people break up? Cheating seems a likely (and most would say justifiable) reason, but what about arguing over finances, or simply falling out of love?

According to a recent poll conducted by DatingSitesReviews.com, it turns out most of us don't even know why our previous relationship ended. Out of 284 voters, almost 23 percent claimed they had no idea what caused the break-up. This came in ahead of the 20.7% who claimed that their relationships ended because their partner cheated (along with 1.4% who claimed they were the ones cheating). And almost 20% said that they just "fell out of love."

Surprisingly, money didn't factor in to many causes of break-ups among readers, nor did work-related issues. In fact, they were the least popular reasons for breaking up (each about 2.5%).

It seems most of the people surveyed are still in the dark about their previous relationship and what caused it to end. This would indicate that they are still seeking closure, and that they haven't been able to obtain that from a partner.

Break-ups can leave us devastated and confused, especially when we are the ones left, and we didn't really see it coming. But maybe there were some red flags along the way that you didn't notice. Did he noticeably pull away, or was he always busy at work and not so available? Or did he shy away from having serious conversations about where your relationship was headed? Or did he just disappear and stop calling altogether?

You might never know what happened between you, and that's okay. What's more important is your ability to deal with your pain and grief over the relationship and move on to a healthier one in the future.

If you have dealt with infidelity, whether your partner cheated or you did the cheating, it's also important to note what circumstances led to it. Was there a lapse in communication? Was there a lot of jealousy? Were you happy in your relationship or was there something missing? The more honest you can be in identifying the problems that were already there, or even how your partner treated you, the more likely you'll avoid the same pattern of cheating in the future.

Causes of break-ups in the poll were as follows:

The poll was taken by readers of DatingSitesReviews.com.

Reports have come out recently that the widow of Steve Jobs is back in the dating pool, and is seeing former D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty.

Dating again after a devastating loss such as death or divorce is not easy. In fact, many people wait years before they feel comfortable enough to go out on a first date or even consider joining an online dating site. It's difficult to give of yourself emotionally when you've suffered such a huge loss.

So what can you do if you want to move on? And how do you know if you're really ready?

I think many people are afraid to begin the process of finding a new relationship. It's one thing to work through your grief and come to a good place in your life as a single person, but it's another thing to think about a relationship with someone new. Some people tend to avoid working through the process of healing, and jump immediately into a new relationship to avoid being alone.

Here are a few signs to tell if you're truly ready for that next relationship:

You've worked through your grief. It's scary to go from being part of a couple to on your own. Some people respond to this by jumping head first into a relationship immediately after losing the last one. Unfortunately, this doesn't give you a chance to process what happened. It's important to work through your grief, anger, and other issues that surface when you've lost a partner. It's also important to know who you are on your own, outside of a relationship. You are a different person than you were before, and it's good to acknowledge and embrace that.

You are happy on your own. This might sound cliché, but it's important to get to know yourself as a single person. Try hobbies that are new to you, do some traveling to places you've always dreamed of visiting. Test the waters to see what you might enjoy in your new life. Cultivate those interests you have that bring you joy, whether it's skiing or cooking or painting. When you see what brings you joy, and you pursue it, then a relationship is a bonus, not something you need.

You leave the past behind. Instead of thinking my ex used to order this for dinner, start on a clean slate. Making comparisons doesn't add to your life and sense of well-being going forward. Nobody will be like your former partner, so try to see each person in a new light. It will help you be more open to love.

You are emotionally available. There's a big difference between dating because you're feeling lonely and dating because you want the experience of a new relationship. If you're not willing to give someone else your love and attention, then you probably shouldn't be looking for a relationship.

You will know. There's something to be said for listening to your gut. If you feel that you aren't ready, then don't allow others to push you towards dating. If you do feel ready, then don't wait for the most "appropriate" time to start - just go for it!

Falling in love is fantastic - you feel so drawn to another person, it can be intoxicating. You want to spend all your time together, and during the time you're apart, you might be fantasizing about your budding relationship.

While love is an amazing feeling, it's also a good idea to avoid throwing yourself all in right at the start. First examine your history - do you tend to fall in love quickly and easily? Do you jump from relationship to relationship looking for that initial feeling of excitement? Do you crash and burn, and then look for the next high?

It's hard to admit our weaknesses sometimes, especially when it comes to love. We all have them, and we all fall into patterns because of them. Being more aware of your own tendencies can help you change these patterns and find happier, healthier relationships.

Let me give you an example. One of my clients is going through his second divorce, and he is devastated that his marriage didn't work out yet again. Within a month of his wife leaving, he joined an online dating site and started dating another woman. He quickly fell for her, even though she was also going through a divorce and didn't want anything serious. When he tried to move the relationship forward by spending more and more time together, she got scared and quickly broke things off. He was hurt again, but instead of spending a little time on his own, he went right back to online dating.

When I asked him about his need to be in a relationship, he said that he felt better, more connected and more at ease in a relationship rather than on his own. He liked falling in love, companionship. But who doesn't?

I advised him to take his time, to become a little more comfortable with who he is on his own, outside of a relationship. Because a relationship wouldn't - and shouldn't - define him. And if he wanted some female companionship, then it was fine to date people casually. But whatever the case, he should hold off on jumping into a relationship, no matter how compelled he felt. No matter how desperate he became, or how convinced he was that a new woman was right for him.

This was hard advice for him to try, and still is. He has since been convinced (in the span of two months) that he's fallen for three more women. But he's stopped himself from jumping right in to a relationship, and instead opted to taking his time. And the interesting thing is, he's finding out more about these women - and what doesn't work for him - than he would have if he'd been a little quicker to commit.

I'm not advocating that people should be players, but I think it's healthy to date more than one person and not feel rushed to take that next step. You'll know when it's right, because it won't resemble and relationship pattern you've felt before. It will be different. Because you will be more certain of who you are. And you will be fine on your own, too.

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live...

We're all familiar with the famous wedding vows.

And we're all equally familiar with how hard it is to stick to them. Just look at the divorce rate - clearly honoring your vows is a heck of a lot harder than saying them. A recent poll from 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair found out exactly how challenging it is for spouses to stay true to their "I do's."

For women, these vows proved to be the most trying:

• For better or for worse (32%)
• To be faithful (25%)
• In sickness and in health (16%)
• For richer, for poorer (12%)

For men, the most difficult vows are:

• To be faithful (27%)
• For better or for worse (23%)
• For richer, for poorer (18%)
• In sickness and in health (17%)

And that's not all that 60 Minutes and Vanity Fair discovered about love.

They also found that, although most men and women would never betray their partners' trust, women are slightly more likely than men to sneak a peek at their spouse's e-mail.

The act of asking a father for his daughter's had in marriage is slowly on its way out. 45% think it's a necessary courtesy, but the rest consider it "gallant but unnecessary," "old-fashioned and embarrassing," or "sexist and offensive."

When it comes to the idea of love at first sight, unmarried couples are the most romantic. 66% of respondents in a relationship said they believe in the phenomenon, compared to 58% of married respondents and 48% of single respondents.

Where sex is concerned, the majority of people think it's "very important" (62%). Only a few think it's the "most important" aspect of a relationship (5%) or "not very important" (6%), with most falling somewhere in between at "somewhat important" (25%).

Thankfully, the in-law horror stories that are so popular in pop culture seem to largely be myths. The vast majority of couples think they get along well their spouses' families (71%). Only a few say "There's no love lost between us" (12%) and even fewer think the feelings differ depending on which side you ask.

No matter how much you love your partner, something about them is bound to drive you crazy. The most common coupled up complaints are:

• Sharing a bed (7%)
• Sharing a bathroom (13%)
• Doing household chores (16%)
• TV choices (36%)

But let's get real: if the toughest part of your marriage is deciding whether to watch basketball or American Idol, you've really got nothing to complain about.

I am not surprised that Facebook is mentioned in divorce cases now days. It can be poison to marriages, as some couples I know spend more time on Facebook everyday than they do talking to each other. I had a laugh when I read that Facebook:

is nothing more than a gigantic catalogue of people you never quite slept with. Some friends, the occasional sibling, but mostly a huge, interactive menu of sexual roads less traveled.

I don't know a single person who has not used Facebook to look up a long lost flame or the one that got away. I am not saying that it is a bad thing but when people in relationships are on Facebook looking through pictures and talking to people from the old High School and/or University days, instead of spending quality time with their partner, you have to start to wonder.

Some people also see Facebook as nothing more than a dating site. Just like on a dating site, most people on Facebook reveal themselves selectively, according to what they think will show them in the best light. On dating sites you know this type of behavior happens, but with Facebook it has the appearance of being an open book, when it really is not.

For more on this story, read the Telegraph. If you are interested in a real dating experience on Facebook, you should check out our Zoosk review.