Ashley Madison

Life's short. Have an affair. Get hacked.

It's not Ashley Madison's new slogan, but it could be.

The biggest story in the online dating world right now is the news that the infamous dating site for adulterers has been attacked by hackers. A group calling themselves The Impact Team claims to have complete access to Ashley Madison’s database of more than 37 million members. They say they're in possession of financial records, addresses, and other personal information, and are threatening to publish it online unless the site closes.

In addition to Ashley Madison, the same group has compromised two other dating sites, Cougar Life and Established Men. All three are owned by the same parent company, Avid Life Media (ALM).

The hackers said in a statement: “Avid Life Media has been instructed to take Ashley Madison and Established Men offline permanently in all forms, or we will release all customer records, including profiles with all the customers’ secret sexual fantasies and matching credit card transactions, real names and addresses, and employee documents and emails. The other websites may stay online.”

The issue that prompted the attack appears to be the leavers’ fee that Ashley Madison charges users. Should a member choose to leave the service permanently, Ashley Madison offers a “full delete” of their profile and all associated data for a $19 fee.

However, The Impact Team claims no data is ever deleted. "Full Delete netted [Avid Life Media] $1.7 million in revenue in 2014. It's also a complete lie," the hackers said in their statement. "Users almost always pay with credit card; their purchase details are not removed as promised, and include real names and address, which is of course the most important information the users want removed."

So far Avid Life Media has defended the service and offered to stop charging for it in the future. Their own statement says: “We apologise for this unprovoked and criminal intrusion into our customers’ information. The current business world has proven to be one in which no company’s online assets are safe from cyber-vandalism, with Avid Life Media being only the latest among many companies to have been attacked, despite investing in the latest privacy and security technologies.”

For now, ALM has positive words for concerned users. “At this time,” reads the statement, “we have been able to secure our sites, and close the unauthorised access points.” The company is working with law enforcement agencies to investigate the hack and plans to prosecute all parties responsible for what they're calling “an act of cyber-terrorism.”

For more on this developing story you can check out CNN.

Ashley Madison, the infamous dating website that makes its revenue from matching married people looking for affairs, has now admitted to spying on its own users.

A recent study published by the company was gathered from emails the sites’ users sent to each other under what they assumed was a condition of anonymity. According to a recent article in Time Magazine, Eric Anderson, a professor at the University of Winchester in England who conducted the study, claims that “women who seek extra-marital affairs usually still love their husbands and are cheating instead of divorcing, because they need more passion.”

“It is very clear that our model of having sex and love with just one other person for life has failed— and it has failed massively,” Anderson tells Time.

As it turns out, Ashlay Madison seems to have commissioned this study to boost its membership numbers - that is, to prove that almost every person in a monogomous relationship is looking to cheat, (and therefore should join their website). But for those who join the site on a strict condition of anonymity because they don’t want their partners to find out, this study is a direct infringement on their right to privacy.

So Ashley Madison is now in a tricky spot. Has it alienated its members, since now they know their emails are no longer strictly confidential, but subject to studies and read by a third party? Perhaps it was in the fine print when they joined the site, as most dating sites collect user information for the purposes of research. But most don’t analyze individual emails being sent back and forth between individual users.

As Time Magazine also points out, because of the nature of the dating site, and the fact that most of its members are being dishonest or lying by the mere fact that they are using the site for an extramarital affair, it calls into question the integrity of the data itself. Who knows what is true and what isn’t in each email? Who can say that anyone on the site is honest in any email they send to another site user?

According to Anderson, his data “included profile information that the women supplied when they signed up for the site (information not made available to other Ashley Madison users),” as well as information other users could see. “We also acquired all private message conversations that [users] had with men on the website for one month,” Anderson told Time.

The results of the study are still somewhat questionable. Anderson claims that in our sexualized culture, married folks could feel as if they are missing out when they are only having sex with one partner.

While this might be true for the users of Ashley Madison, it doesn't mean that it's applicable to the majority of married couples in the U.S.

When Aaron Schildkrout cofounded HowAboutWe.com, he had a vision for online dating, one that didn't rely on complex mathematical calculations to determine whether two people are compatible. He pictured a site where real-life dates were the focus, so users got straight to what really matters: meeting face-to-face.

"We branded ourselves as the offline dating site, as explicitly an alternative to these profile-heavy matching algorithm dating sites," he told The Washington Post. "It's about getting offline, going to the real world and getting chemistry."

It appears to be a smart approach at first glance, but since its founding in 2009, HowAboutWe has evolved to depend more on formulas, not less. As more and more users joined the site, the challenge was no longer to show them as many potential dates as possible, but to show them the right dates. In order to create an experience worth coming back for, HowAboutWe needed to get smarter.

HowAboutWe's two-person data science team created an algorithm that combines a user's profile information (like date ideas and demographics) with data gathered from that person's behavior on the site (e.g. what kind of profiles they looked at and how often).

In contrast to HowAboutWe's focus on casual dating, eHarmony believes its users are looking for long term relationships and its algorithm reflects that. eHarmony members are required to fill out a personality questionnaire with hundreds of parts developed from research of around 50,000 happily married couples. To determine compatibility, historical data is paired with analysis of users' behavior on the site and the constraints, like target age range, people place on their matches.

As expected, predicting love is no easy feat. Match.com president Amarnath Thombre says that what users claim they're looking for is often not the kind of profiles they actually view. How did Match cope with the mixed signals? "We said, 'We're going to base these things way more on actions you take. . . . If you start breaking your rules, we're going to start ignoring your rules,' " Thombre explained.

On AshleyMadison.com, the popular matchmaking site for affair-seekers, matching is driven almost entirely by an algorithm. "At least when it comes to the topic of infidelity, traditional research avenues have been kind of absent," said founder Noel Biderman. "There aren't a lot of universities out there that can give you wholesale data on how unfaithful this population or society is or what triggers this."

Can a mathematical formula ever fully replace the magic of serendipity? It seems unlikely, but if the two can work together, we stand a better chance of finding love than ever before.

For more about Aaron Schildkrout dating site you can read our review on How About We.

New surveys from married dating site (what a nice way to put it) AshleyMadison.com have revealed what cheaters really want.

In a surprise twist, the answer is not just "some extra-marital action." Nope, it turns out that Ashley Madison's unfaithful clientele is actually looking for a very specific kind of extracurricular experience.

When it comes to infidelity, it's all about class.

• 83.1% of middle-class male Ashley Madison members want to cheat with a working-class woman.
• 51.8% of upper-class men are looking for a middle-class woman.
• 42.4% of upper-class men are seeking a working class-woman for an affair.

"Despite the changing socio-economic landscape, men across the board still want to be the Alpha partner in a relationship," says Noel Biderman, Ashley Madison founder and CEO. "Men want someone to admire and look up to them, someone they can impress because fundamentally most men lack confidence."

For women, it's a different story.

• 7% of female Ashley Madison members who describe themselves as 'working class' say they are looking for an upper class affair partner.

"This is a reflection of economic hard times as much as confirmation of traditional class stereotypes," Biderman offers by way of explanation. "For women who are struggling financially...a fling with an upper-class man represents glamour and escape, a holiday from daily life, perhaps an element of security."

Middle class women are in a class of their own.

• Only 40.7% of middle-class women on the site say they would prefer an affair with an upper-class man.
• 53.6% specified that they would prefer to philander within the middle class.

Biderman has the following words of wisdom to offer on women of the middle class: "Middle-class women are more likely to be financially independent and better educated, their needs are different. They want intimacy and shared experience with an equal rather than to be swept off their feet, Jane Austen style."

There's no word on what upper class women want because...I guess they don't exist? Is that what Noel Biderman is trying to tell me? Is this the "Women earn 70 cents for every dollar a man earns" thing at play? None of us make enough money to be considered upper class cheaters?

The wage gap at work, folks. Someone had better sort out the equal pay for women issue stat, so we can get in on the upper crust infidelity action too!

Oh, Ashley Madison...what a confusing phenomenon you are.

On one hand, I am a firm believer that monogamy is not for everyone and a strong supporter of open relationships of all shapes and sizes.

On the other hand, my support of (ethical, honest) nonmonogamy has made me even less tolerant of those who don't choose to be ethical and honest about their extracurriculars.

On a third hand, my entrepreneurial spirit can't bring itself to completely condemn someone who saw a hole in the market, filled it, and is no doubt raking in the big bucks because of it. People are going to cheat whether or not I like it - someone might as well be making money off their infidelity.

Ashley Madison has been celebrating successes left and right so, begrudgingly, I think I might have to let the third hand win out. Maybe part of me is just bitter I didn't have the idea first.

In July, the infamous cheating website reached a major milestone: its 20 millionth member. And here's the real kicker: that makes its membership larger than the entire population of New York State. The 20 millionth member comes after a year of unprecedented growth for the site which, says AshleyMadison.com CEO Noel Biderman, "proves that infidelity is a universal business."

Just how universal? Ashley Madison is one of the fastest growing dating site, with one new member joining every six seconds. The dating service has also experienced an increase of over 15% in mobile usage a year and expanded to include Ashley Madison Blackbook, an app that allows affair seekers to maintain anonymity beyond emails with a private phone line for discreet texting and phone calls.

More recently, Ashley Madison is expanding its global reach (already 27 countries) to include Japan, the site's first launch in Asia. As of July 1, 2013, four days after it debuted in the new country, Ashley Madison Japan had already logged 230,000 visits and 70,000 members.

"This might be bigger here than in America," Biderman told The Wall Street Journal. "We totally underestimated the desire here." The biggest challenge the site faces now is marketing - word of mouth isn't exactly a viable option when users are looking to keep their cheating under wraps. "We're going to position ourselves as a marriage-saving site," Biderman added, "a social network for married people. I think they'll understand that concept."

A 'marriage-saving site?' If you say so, Biderman, if you say so. After all, who am I to argue with the man who proudly announced that his company has "become the 'Kleenex of cheating?'"

We have lots of online dating statistics for you today. Most of them have been compiled by comScore which is a company that measures internet traffic worldwide. This will make a nice wrap-up for the year 2012.

To start things, off did you know for the month of September 1 in 10 users on the internet visited a dating site? Well they did. For users of smartphones this statistic doubled to 2 visitors in every 10. Interestingly in quarter 2 of 2010 only 2 percent of every e-Commerce dollar was spent via a mobile device. In 2 short years this has risen to 10 percent which is 1 in every 10 dollars. I would bet that the online dating segment breaks down in a similar fashion since most dating sites have dating apps now.

Anyways, did you know visitors of online dating sites are not a fickle bunch? 26 percent of them visited more than one in a given month. Personal computers still win for quality time though with on average a user spending 80 minutes using online dating sites. This compares to mobile phone users who spent only 70 minutes. Facebook is a target rich environment for the dating site marking machine. 38 percent of all dating site ads are on Facebook. These ads reach almost half (47%) of their target users.

So what are the top ten dating site companies worldwide at the end of 2012 from comScore? Well compared to last year of the top 50 dating sites, 28 percent are new to the list! That is a lot for any industry.

• 1 - Match.com Sites
• 2 - Plenty of Fish Sites
• 3 - Zoosk.com
• 4 - Xpress.com
• 5 - Spark Networks
• 6 - eHarmony
• 7 - SpeedDate.com
• 8 - DateHookup.com
• 9 - Mate1.com
• 10 - Ashley Madison

So how do our English speaking friends overseas feel about online dating? In September of this year 5.7 million people in the United Kingdom (which has a total population of almost 63 million) visited an online dating site. This is a staggering 22 percent increase over the same time period last year. The 55 plus age group demographic led the charge with a 39 percent increase in visitors which topped 1 million unique visitors. The most active age group visiting dating sites was the 25 to 34 year olds with 1.3 million users which works out to 23 percent of all visitors. What was the most popular dating site in the UK? Why Plenty of Fish of course with almost 1.5 million visitors who spent on average for the entire month 115 minutes on POF.com.

A subject related to online dating is social networking. Worldwide for the month of November in 2012, on average a visitor spent 5.2 hours on one or more social network (excludes mobile phones). Over the past 3 months according to Alexa, Facebook came out on top followed by Twitter and then LinkedIn. In the top ten country list (see this) Argentina came out on top with an average of 9.8 hours in a month. Second went to Brazil with 9.7 hours and third was Russia with 9.6 hours. Canada came in 6th with 7.9 hours and the United States was nowhere on the list. This means in the U.S. visitors spent under 7.5 hours a month on social networking sites.

To find out more about the state of online dating in 2012 you can check out this page and view a presentation here. For more information about online dating and dating sites you can read our Statistics and Facts page.