Have you ever followed up with a date over text, the flirty banter going back and forth for a couple of weeks, when suddenly it tapers off? Or maybe he disappears altogether? Before you wonder what you might have done wrong, or what might have happened, it’s time to set the record straight about texting.

Texting is fun and flirtatious. It is a great, low-maintenance way to keep the fire burning if you and your date had some chemistry together. But many of us feel too comfortable behind the screen – to the point where it actually hinders real relationships, and interferes with our romantic life.

Texting is not a substitute for dating. We need that real in-person connection in order for something to grow. When you text or message someone, sharing flirty banter or even more personal thoughts, it feels like you are growing closer. But texting and messaging don’t help you develop a relationship – they create a false sense of connection. In fact, if texting is your barometer for how well your relationship is going, you’re going to be completely misled.

When someone really wants to pursue a relationship with you, they want to see you in person. They want to set up dates. Flirting over text might be part of the fun, but it is only part of it. If a man you are seeing is only communicating with you over text, no matter how charming he is, he isn’t really interested in pursuing a relationship. If he was, he would be asking you out.

You deserve a real-life relationship.

Consider the last relationship you had that was great over text, but fizzled out quickly. There could be any number of reasons this happened. Texting might be a fun way to pass the time for the object of your affection, or a distraction from thinking about an ex, or even a Plan B in case the other person he’s interested in doesn’t pan out. It can also be a quick ego boost. Whatever the case, it doesn’t make a difference. The fact is, there isn’t a chance for a real relationship to happen if your main interaction is through text.

Instead of relying on your texting chemistry after a good first meeting or date, it’s better to see what happens on a second date, or a third. Don’t just assume that texting will eventually get you to the place you want in a relationship. Let your dates know what you want. Ask him or her out. Don’t accept anything less than real-life interaction – there is no substitute. If someone keeps putting you off, claiming they are busy, or only texts you to hook up at the last-minute, move on. They aren’t the right relationship for you.

Online daters – especially women – often complain about unwanted and lude messages they get from potential matches on dating apps. Some guys are so aggressive with initial contact that they send intimate photos of themselves - the so-called “d*ck pic” - which is offensive to many women, if not even a bit scary. But there is little control dating apps have over messages between two people who swiped right and started communicating, which is why many find it such a frustrating experience.

Dating app The Grade aims to change that. Back in October, they launched the controversial “Peer Review” feature on their dating app, essentially letting other users provide direct feedback for online and offline experiences with other singles on the app.  This move was met with skepticism, with some wondering if angry and jilted matches might lash out and tarnish the reputation of someone else on the site, simply because there was no third party witness. Essentially, users could say whatever they wanted about a date.

The Grade surveyed its users to see how they actually felt about the new feature, and according to the company’s findings, 71% of people believe that Peer Review helps weed out the creeps.

Case in point: the majority of The Grade’s female users believe Peer Review provides a safer and better-informed dating experience. And according to a statement released from the company… it finally eliminates the "d*ck pics." Of the 11% of men who admitted to sending an unsolicited photo of their private parts, 90% reported that they would stop if they knew a match could review them.

Could this lead to better dating behavior – knowing that other people are watching and reviewing you?

It seems likely. The Peer Review feature provides feedback from other singles, mainly to help inform users’ decisions to swipe right or left. In fact, The Grade reports that 78% of singles are more likely to “like” (or swipe right) someone with a good Peer Review grade, while 88% are less likely to “like” someone with a bad Peer Review grade.

Ninety-five percent of The Grade’s users are pro-Peer Review, and 85% of the 15,000 peer reviews submitted so far have been positive. Results show that the most common reason a user would give someone a negative review is if that person was already in an existing relationship or lied about their profile details.

Despite the controversy, The Grade might be on to something – accountability for behavior in online dating. That is something most of us can get behind.

If “find love” is one of your resolutions for 2016, you're in luck. Get your best pickup lines ready, because the busiest time of year for online dating is rapidly approaching.

Match.com has revealed the exact day the most users will log on in 2016, and even narrowed the time down to the minute. Using their site traffic data, Match predicts that Sunday, January 3, at 8:52 pm EST is when the most users in all of 2016 will be logging on to the site.

Why is early January peak season for online dating? January 3 follows two major holidays, Christmas and New Year's, when singletons can feel especially lonely. On top of that, the beginning of the year is prime time for New Year's resolutions, which are often made about love and relationships.

Dr. Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Advisor for Match, says there's a biological reason for this behavior. “I think all three brain systems for love become stimulated around this time of year, including sex drive, feeling of attachment and romantic love,” she told Bustle.

She goes on to say that the novelty of the holidays can trigger the dopamine system, which encourages feelings of romance, while the hugging and nostalgia that accompany the season can trigger feelings of attachment. If you're not in a relationship, it can emphasize your singlehood.

“Moreover,” she continues, “the beginning of the new year is a natural time for rejuvenation and renewal; and has been for thousands of years. So we naturally begin to look around for a true love.”

If you can't log on exactly at 8:52 pm EST on January 3, don't stress. Match says that peak season will span the full month of January and then some. The site rountinely experiences a 60 percent leap in new members signing up between December 25 and February 14, so you could have a new special someone just in time for Valentine's Day.

And it's not just sign ups that get a boost during this time of year. The number of messages exchanged also increases with the influx of new numbers. Match says that a whopping 50 million messages are sent during peak season.

In order to secure that V-Day date, users step up their game across the board. Along with sending more messages, members use the new year to rejuvenate their profiles and add new photos. Fifteen million new images are uploaded to Match between Christmas and Valentine's Day.

Is all that effort worth it? Statistics say yes. Match predicts that 1 million people will go on dates as a result of the elevated activity during peak season. Now is the perfect time to freshen up your profile and double down on your dating efforts in 2016. For more information on this dating service, please read our review of Match.com.

Are you looking to overhaul your dating life in 2016? Tired of the Tinder swipes that go nowhere, the endless text messages, the so-so dates that bore you to tears?

There’s no reason to feel powerless in your personal life. While the timing of meeting someone special isn’t under your control, making changes and switching things up is totally within your control. And sometimes, we all need a little push in a different direction to really make things happen.

So for the New Year, following are five dating goals to set – and habits to break to help you find someone special:

Express gratitude. Sometimes, we all need a reset button when it comes to attitude. Many of us get frustrated after a few bad dates, or being single for longer than we’d like, but we shouldn’t. There are so many things to appreciate right now, no matter what you might feel is lacking in your life. Start a gratitude journal if that works for you, but be mindful every day for 30 days of what you love in your life – what you are thankful for. This exercise really works. It can shift your attitude about your life from lacking to fulfilling, which definitely is more attractive to others when you are dating. Plus, you feel more fulfilled and hopeful yourself.

Go out more. Are you glued to your screen, swiping left and right? Maybe it’s time to meet people old-school style – by going out and introducing yourself. Many of us have forgotten how to make conversation, how to meet new people without the help of texting. Now’s the time to practice those skills – so say yes to parties, networking events, and going out with friends of friends.

Curb the texting and messaging. Instead of developing your new relationship over text, hoping it goes somewhere meaningful, try asking someone out IRL instead – sooner rather than later. Many of us get emotionally invested in online communication, developing a fantasy about who the other person is, only to be disappointed when you do finally meet in real life. So next time, ask him out sooner and drop the texting back and forth.

Own what you want. Do you want a long-term, serious relationship? Do you long for something more than a hook-up or a casual arrangement? Then own it. Let your dates know what you do and don’t want. Don’t make assumptions that everyone else is casual and so you must be, too. You have the right to want more. So don’t accept less than what you feel you want.

Commit to online dating. Yes, you should still go out more. But you should also expand your options. If you gave up on online dating, try again. Or pick a new dating app. Let a friend help you with your profile pictures. Do whatever works for you – but try some online dating, and really commit to it. Don’t let a few bad dates get you down. You never know when or how you’ll meet the right one.

eHarmony is offering a 7 day free trial this week to celebrate New Years here in the United States and Canada. It starts Wednesday December 30th, 2015 and ends on Tuesday January 5th, 2016.

It's time for New Years resolutions and for single men and women, finding a compatible partner is usually high on the list. During the Christmas break and right up to Valentines Day is the busiest time for online dating services. With eHarmony's positive reputation of matchmaking it is an extremely popular choice for singles. This is a good for you as it means their are a lot of potential matches using the service now.

With eHarmony's free trial, all members can communicate for free with no credit card required. All you need to do is create an account and fill in the eHarmony questionnaire which asks you about what you like in a person and questions designed to quantify your personality traits. The questionnaire can takes about 30 minutes to complete and once finished you are given your first set of matches which have been selected by eHarmony's matching algorithm. The algorithm is designed to match members together who have the best chance of creating a long-term relationship. You can then review your matches and then start the communication process with the ones you like. eHarmony free trials do not include the secure call feature (a phone service), photos, or skipping straight to email. You will have to purchase a full membership to have access to these features.

For more information about this dating service which specializes in long-term relationships, you can read our eHarmony review.

Tired of swiping endlessly? If you’re looking for forward movement in your dating life, then the New Year is a good time to check your habits when it comes to online dating, and see where you can change things up a bit. There’s nothing like ringing in the New Year with a new attitude towards love!

Let’s start with perceptions. Most people think that dating apps are easy tools for hooking up, but not much else. While they are convenient, many people using dating apps are also looking for long-term love, just like you. Don’t make assumptions about why others on using dating apps – it’s important to keep an open mind, otherwise dating is nothing more than an exercise in handling frustration.

Following are some tips for the New Year on how to get a better handle on those dating apps:

Join something new – but do your research first! Most people join Tinder because that’s the app they know, without realizing there are a slew of dating apps out there catering to every type of dater. If you know you want something serious, try eHarmony or even Coffee Meets Bagel (for a little less pressure) instead. If you are looking to find dates with similar religious leanings, try JSwipe for Jewish singles or Collide, which labels itself the “Christian Tinder.” If you are looking for Star Wars fans? Try AYI (Are You Interested?) – which matches up people with similar interests.

Update your photos. Let’s face it – dating is visually-driven, so you have to put your best face forward. Instead of posing in a slew of selfies, have a friend take some more interesting photos – you playing guitar, doing a yoga pose or out hiking, for instance. Then visually you can show potential dates who you are – it is more effective than listing your hobbies in a description.

Get to the date. Instead of the endless messaging back and forth, it’s much more efficient to ask your matches out right away. You can’t tell if there will be chemistry until you meet in person, so why drag things out and get invested in an online fantasy? If you’re a woman, do your share of the asking. It’s 2015 – and he will be fine with it.

Be mindful and courteous. Just because someone is on a dating site doesn’t mean they are DTF. Don’t send messages suggesting otherwise. Ask someone out to a public place, not your apartment to “Netflix and chill.” Treat others respectfully, and they will return the favor.

Say “yes” more often, ladies. Some guys accept all matches in the hopes of bettering their chances to meet someone. Women are the opposite: the accept very few, sometimes to their detriment. Remember, keep an open mind. Just because he isn’t exactly what you want on paper – you might have chemistry together IRL. Give everyone a fair shot.

Happy dating in the New Year!