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Helen Fisher Asks: “Why Him? Why Her?” (Part III)

Chemistry.com
  • Sunday, September 11 2011 @ 08:41 am
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  • Views: 2,181

In her latest book, anthropologist and best-selling author Dr. Helen Fisher seeks to solve one of life's greatest mysteries: Why him? Why her? Why do we love who we love?

Her research, compiled in a book called Why Him, Why Her: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type, led Fisher to construct a theory of love and relationships based on the four personality types, and their associated hormones and neurotransmitters, we discussed in the previous two posts: Explorers (dopamine), Builders (serotonin), Directors (testosterone), and Negotiators (estrogen). Now let's take a look at Fisher's findings in her own words.

Fisher described the four personality types to TIME magazine in January of 2009:

"People who express dopamine - I call them Explorers - tend to be risk-taking, curious, creative, impulsive, optimistic and energetic. The traits associated with the serotonin system express themselves in what I call Builders. They're cautious but not fearful, calm, traditional, community-oriented, persistent and loyal. Directors have traits associated with activity in the testosterone system. These people tend to be very analytical, decisive, tough-minded; they like to debate and can be aggressive. The fourth type is the Negotiator. Men or women who express activity in the estrogen system tend to be broadminded imaginative, compassionate, intuitive, verbal, nurturing, altruistic and idealistic."

But those aren't the only ways our chemistry and biological make up affect who we love, Fisher says. "Norepinephrine, a chemical closely related to dopamine, undoubtedly contributes to some of the Explorer's traits, especially their energy and impulsivity," she told Telling It Like It Is. "And oxytocin-a chemical synthesized, stored and triggered (in large part) by estrogen-most likely plays a role in the Negotiator's compassion, nurturing, trust and intuition."

Fisher's research has numerous potential applications. It's possible that, one day, technology will allow us to test partners' chemical composition, to judge whether or not we will be compatible. Each personality type views intimacy differently, so understanding the types and how to connect with each one affords you more opportunities to bond with potential partners. Within a relationship, understanding the categories can help you determine what challenges you're likely to face, and how to overcome them.

With all the research Fisher has done into relationships and attraction, does she ever worry that love will lose its magic for her?

"You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake," she told Elle, "and still sit down and eat it and feel the joy. You can know every note in Beethoven's Ninth and listen to it and reel with the pleasure. To me, understanding the system expands my wonder."

Dr. Helen Fisher assisted in developing an online dating site's matching system. To find out more about this dating service you can read our review of Chemistry.com.

PlentyOfFish Updates Mobile Dating App

POF (Plenty of Fish)
  • Wednesday, September 07 2011 @ 11:26 am
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  • Views: 2,275
PlentyOfFish has just updated their mobile dating applications for both the iPhone and Android OSs. The big improvement with this version is speed and lower bandwidth use. This is achieved by caching the profile and picture data retrieved from POF so it is only downloaded once or when updated.

Other improvements include easier editing of both photos and profiles. Pinching and zooming profile pictures has been added along with updates to editing your location and searching for local users. Users can also now just search for mobile users near them.

The POF App on the Android Market currently has a rating of 3.9 out of 5 stars with almost 6,000 votes. According to a number of reviews the only thing missing from the app is the ability to chat via text.

For more on this story please read the press release. To find out about this dating site and what other singles think you should check out our PlentyOfFish review.

Helen Fisher Asks: “Why Him? Why Her?” (Part II)

Chemistry.com
  • Tuesday, September 06 2011 @ 08:43 pm
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  • Views: 1,450

After researching why people fall in love with one person rather than another, Dr. Helen Fisher and her colleagues, Arthur Aron and Lucy Brown, determined that every man and woman is a combination of four personality types, each driven by a specific hormone or neurotransmitter:

  1. Explorers (dopamine)
  2. Builders (serotonin)
  3. Directors (testosterone)
  4. Negotiators (estrogen)

We've already discussed the primary characteristics of each personality type, but that's only a piece of the puzzle. Each personality type is primarily attracted to partners who fall into a specific category, and the personality types also determine how two people are likely to act in a relationship with each other. Let's take a closer look at how each personality type may affect who and how you love:

Explorers: Explorers are generally attracted to other Explorers, a case in which opposites do not attract. "The Explorer/Explorer match is generally strong," explains Telling It Like It Is, "because Explorers love adventure and want an partner to share their spontaneity." An Explorer seeks someone who shares their optimism, natural curiosity, and occasional impulsivity. The downside to an Explorer/Explorer relationship is that people who fall into this category are not particularly introspective, which means that the relationship may lack depth and the partners may avoid having the difficult, but critical, conversations that are necessary to any serious, long-term relationship. Explorers may also find themselves in sticky situations when their adventure-seeking and impulsivity go too far.

Builders: Like Explorers, Builders are typically attracted to other Builders. Serotonin-driven Builders seek order and stability, making them the personality type most likely to marry and least likely to divorce. A relationship of Builders is strong, as both partners are motivated to bring people together and work hard to maintain the connections they establish. Builder partners will most likely make "sensible decisions about money, family and feelings together and value security above almost everything."

Directors & Negotiators: Where Directors and Negotiators are concerned, opposites do attract. These personality types are different but complimentary in many ways. Negotiators see the big picture, while Directors focus on smaller details. Negotiators have a knack for seeing all angles in a situation, but often fail to take action. Directors, on the other hand, are decisive but often act without fully analyzing all available information. Directors and Negotiators are also highly compatible socially, as Negotiators are skilled at "smoothing over Directors' inappropriate comment," while Directors "admire the diplomatic nature of Negotiators."

What does Fisher have to say about her research? We'll find out next time.

Dr. Helen Fisher helped develop a popular dating site's matching system. To find out more about this dating service you can read our Chemistry review.

PlentyOfFish New Paid Membership

POF (Plenty of Fish)
  • Monday, September 05 2011 @ 10:45 am
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  • Views: 5,178

Over the last few years PlentyOfFish has tried several different ways to monetize their members. They first offered paid virtual gifts back in December of 2008. It didn't last long though and was pulled after about a month. In March of 2009 PlentyOfFish then offered the "Paid Profile Upgrade". This upgrade called the "Serious Member Badge" was designed to showcase that the member was serious about online dating by displaying icons on your images and highlighting your profile. Prices ranged from $5.95 to $9.80 a month. By mid-2010 the Serious Member Badge also offered a few additional features including having their profile appear above others in search results.

Early this month PlentyOfFish started to offer a new regular membership. As far as we can tell this membership has replaced the Serious Membership along with the “privilege of upgrading” assessment which was supposed to weed out all those who were not serious about maintaining a long-term relationship. The new membership offers:

  • The new and improved Ultra Match matching system
  • Improved visibility on PlentyOfFish including higher placement in search results
  • Find out if your emails were read or just deleted
  • The use of profile themes
  • Who has viewed your profile
  • Unlimited virtual gifts through email
  • Additional credits for placing gifts on profiles

Membership costs have increased slightly and range from $6.78 a month for a year to $11.80 a month for a 3 month term. There is no auto rebilling but memberships are also non-refundable. With these new membership changes the only thing that differentiates PlentyOfFish with most other popular paid dating sites is that they still allow all members to email and message each other for free.

With the new membership comes a new statistic. If you upgrade to the new membership it will improve your chances by 530% according to PlentyOfFish (I assume this is when compared to a free membership on the site). With the Serious Membership upgrade your chance of a relationship only increased by 230% 😉 (See Story).

I also notice the other week that the domain Plentyoffish.com now forwards to POF.com, this use to be the other way around. The URLs in the emails I receive from PlentyOfFish for matches etc. also use the POF.com domain though the email is still sent from customercare@plentyoffish.com. The site is still obviously called PlentyOfFish so I am not sure why they changed the primary domain at this point to just the initials. Maybe it will be easier to remember for the average user, or maybe there will be a name change in the future? (I really doubt this will happen)

The last thing that has changed is that the forums link is now back at the top of the PlentyOfFish dating site. We notice that this link first disappeared sometime last summer (See Story). The upgrade link in the forums though still points to the old “SERIOUS UPGRADE” page and not the new membership upgrade page.

To find out more about this dating service you can read our POF review.

How Match.com Makes A Match

Match
  • Monday, September 05 2011 @ 09:47 am
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  • Views: 1,983

Match.com launched in 1995, and the site's popularity is still on the rise. In the highly competitive world of online dating, Match.com consistently ranks highly in dater's minds, and for good reason: their trailblazing technology makes them a cut above the rest.

Codenamed "Synapse," Match's algorithm evaluates a diverse range of factors in order to match compatible singles. David Gelles recently took a look backstage at Match.com for FT Magazine, guided by Mandy Ginsberg, president of Match.com US, and Amarnath Thombre, a key engineer for the company, to discover exactly what makes the Match algorithm so special.

Ginsberg had personal experience with the trials and tribulations of online dating before joining the Match team. After divorcing her spouse shortly after leaving college, she joined JDate but had no luck finding a partner. Love later found her in the form of a co-worker from India, who won her heart despite being vastly different from the man she thought she wanted to marry.

"If I had laid out a criteria for what I was looking for, it would not have been a guy from south India," she told Gelles. "People are complex. You're constantly making trade-offs about who's too tall, too short, too smart and too dumb. People come in and tell us a bit about what they're looking for. But what you say and what you do can be different."

With that idea in mind, known as "dissonance" in academic circles, Ginsberg helped revolutionize Match's approach to online dating. "I might come in and say I'm looking for a nice Catholic guy between 30 and 40 who is non-married," she says. "But after weeks of looking at people, I might get an e-mail from a guy who has kids, and I might accept that." Taking into consideration the fact that most people don't know themselves as well as they think they do, the engineers at Match adapted the algorithm to pair users with potential dates based on a combination of what they say they want and what it seems they actually want based on their actions on the site.

Now, instead of taking user's preferences at face value, Match's cutting-edge technology relies on a variety of factors to match prospective partners. Stated preferences like age range and body type are taken into consideration, while the algorithm augments that information with the knowledge it gains from an intelligent examination of a user's behavior on the site. If a member's actions don't match their stated preferences, Match learns that those preferences are not entirely correct and that the member is open to meeting people who don't fit the original description. Synapse also looks at the behavior of similar users and factors in that information as well, in a process known as "triangulation."

As impressive as Ginsberg's contribution to online dating is, Match's amazing innovations would not be possible without its team of brilliant engineers, like Amarnath Thombre, whose story we'll look at next time.

For more information on this popular dating site you can read our review of Match.com.

Helen Fisher Asks: “Why Him? Why Her?”

Chemistry.com
  • Saturday, September 03 2011 @ 10:45 am
  • Contributed by:
  • Views: 1,844

Dr. Helen Fisher - biological anthropologist, Research Professor in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University, and adviser for Chemistry.com - has become something of a fixture in my posts, thanks to her ground breaking research on love, relationships, and attraction.

In her most recent book, Why Him? Why Her?: How to Find and Keep Lasting Love, Fisher outlines the four personality types that she believes are the key to determining who you are likely to be compatible with, as well as how to find, attract, and keep them. Fisher conducted her research on Chemistry.com, where her questionnaire forms the basis of the site's matching system and has now been taken by over 7 million people.

After an initial study of 28,128 subjects, Fisher concluded that men and women are a combination of four personality types, each of which is associated with a specific neurotransmitter or hormone:

  1. The Explorer (dopamine)
  2. The Builder (serotonin)
  3. The Director (testosterone)
  4. The Negotiator (estrogen)

Explorers are adventurous, creative, and unafraid to take risks. They are driven by dopamine, which manifests as the desire for excitement, spontaneity, and novelty. Good examples of Explorers, Fisher told ABC News, are John F. Kennedy, Ernest Hemingway, and Angelina Jolie.

Builders, in contrast to the more free-spirited Explorers, are cautious, conventional, and feel at home in managerial roles. The soothing influence of serotonin makes them calm, sociable, and organized. Colin Powell, says Fisher, is a typical example of a Builder.

Directors are driven by testosterone, making them aggressive, logical, and analytical. They tend to be focused and tough, but can sometimes carry these traits too far and become single-minded and stubborn. Bill Gates, tough-minded and decisive, is an example of a Director according to Fisher.

Negotiators demonstrate many characteristics that are traditionally considered feminine, because they are primarily influenced by estrogen. They are verbally communicative, compassionate, and imaginative. They also show signs of empathy and idealism, and tend to think of the big-picture rather than smaller details. Fisher considers Bill Clinton a classic embodiment of the Negotiator personality type.

To determine your personality type, Fisher's test can be taken for free on Chemistry.com. Once you have determined which category you fall into, it's time to figure out who you're most compatible with and what your personality types say about the kind of relationship you're likely to have. We'll look at that, and more of Fisher's research, next time.

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