Facebook

Using Facebook as a dating tool can be complicated if you do not watch what you doing. In many ways it's great, especially in the beginning. You have all these friends, and friends of friends that can vouch for you that you are a great guy or gal. This makes meeting people easy to do.

There is also a downside to using Facebook like a dating site. Here are 3:

1. Relationships and Breakups Are Public

The main problem with Facebook and dating is, it is public. Sure you can now hide information from your friends and dates but it can get extremely complicated to do with all the privacy rules which only a dedicated Facebook expert is going to know how to use. Every step of a relationship on Facebook is public from changing your relationship status (and hoping your partner reciprocates) to the banter that goes back and forth between people who have just discovered love. On the other end, breakups are just as public and can lead to some embarrassing moments for all involved.

I am not surprised that Facebook is mentioned in divorce cases now days. It can be poison to marriages, as some couples I know spend more time on Facebook everyday than they do talking to each other. I had a laugh when I read that Facebook:

is nothing more than a gigantic catalogue of people you never quite slept with. Some friends, the occasional sibling, but mostly a huge, interactive menu of sexual roads less traveled.

I don't know a single person who has not used Facebook to look up a long lost flame or the one that got away. I am not saying that it is a bad thing but when people in relationships are on Facebook looking through pictures and talking to people from the old High School and/or University days, instead of spending quality time with their partner, you have to start to wonder.

Some people also see Facebook as nothing more than a dating site. Just like on a dating site, most people on Facebook reveal themselves selectively, according to what they think will show them in the best light. On dating sites you know this type of behavior happens, but with Facebook it has the appearance of being an open book, when it really is not.

For more on this story, read the Telegraph. If you are interested in a real dating experience on Facebook, you should check out our Zoosk review.

Logging into Facebook last week, I was greeted with a Facebook Privacy Announcement:

We're making some changes to give you more control of your information and help you stay connected. We've simplified the Privacy page and added the ability to set privacy on everything you share, from status updates to photos. At the same time, we're helping everyone find and connect with each other by keeping some information—like your name and profile picture—publicly available.

I knew this update was coming and am excited about it since it gives you more control over who can and cannot see your Facebook information. This includes the following fields in your profile; About Me, Family, Photos, Email Addresses Religious and Political Views.

Combining these new privacy controls with Friend Lists allows you to specify who can see most of your information. I have already setup my account with the following Friend lists; Co-Workers, Friends, Buddies and Family. This way when I add photos, post on my wall, etc... only the people I want to share the information with, get to see it. I think the photo album privacy settings are especially important. A picture tells a thousand words and I have to wonder why some people post those drinking and partying pictures for all to see. These always makes a great first impression with a potential employer, NOT.

This change is also important for dating on Facebook. Most singles I know like to keep their day to day dating information pretty private. They probably only want to share this information and comments with a few close friends. With this new update they now can.

The real problem now is, Facebook just has to make the Friend lists and Privacy controls easier to use. The tools are there but it can take a while to figure out. This is not a problem with a Facebook Junkie who is on the site everyday, but it is not easy for the general person who may not be tech savvy, or is only on the site once every couple of weeks.

If you are interested in using Facebook for dating, check out our Facebook Dating category which lists the popular Dating Apps currently available.

The eHarmony Facebook Fan Page has received several updates over the last few weeks. We first talked about this Facebook page in early November (see Story) and since then, the Celebrate Love Tab has seen a major overhaul. In the initial weeks, the Fan page was all about the Wall and people submitting success stories. This was in response to good marketing by eHarmony and spurred on as well by a weekly contest being held for Amazon gift cards.

With thousands of fresh success stories on their hands, eHarmony got their Social Media Specialists (there is a job opening for this at eHarmony) working to condense this information onto the Celebrate Love Tab. There is now a news section, a Fan Gallery and a "Meet Our Feature Couples" box on this tab. Clicking on the "Meet Our Feature Couples" box enlarges it and allows you to view a number of enhanced success stories of couples. There is a detailed description, tons of photos and even videos.

Other dating sites need to take a look at what eHarmony is doing here, it is a well executed marketing campaign that has engaged Facebook users. In the news section of Celebration of Love, eHarmony announced that they are launching a new ad campaign that will be on TV soon. I bet they will mention the Facebook Page.

You can find the eHarmony Facebook Fan Page here. To find out other details about this dating site, including costs and what is involved in creating a profile, read our review of eHarmony.

Drum roll please ... the New Oxford American Dictionary has picked the word Unfriend as its 2009 word of the year. Oxford's definition of this word is:

unfriend – verb – To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as Facebook.

Other words up for consideration this year was hashtag (Twitter related), intexticated (a driver distracted by texting on his phone), and sexting (sending sexually explicit texts and pictures over your phone).

For more on the story, read the OUPblog.

It looks like Facebook has decided to get into the online dating business by in part funding the dating site Thread.com. This dating site is unique in a few ways. First of all, it is built on the Facebook platform. This means if you have a Facebook account you can login right away to Thread and once you have given Thread permission to access your Facebook information, you can begin using the dating service. This brings me to the second unique point of Thread, it allows you to meet your friends of friends. Other Facebook dating applications allow you to search for Facebook members who are using the app, not Thread. Thread gives you easy search access to all of your friend's friends. So the first thing you have to do when you join Thread is to get at least a few of your friends to join as well or you will have nobody to search for. On average (if I remember correctly) a typical diehard Facebook member has about 200 friends. This means if you invite 5 of your friends to join Thread (and they accept), you potentially have 1000 singles to search for in your social circle.

I think the idea of searching your friends of friends for a date is smart, as each person is known by someone you already know and who can vouch for them. This virtually eliminates the scammer and fake dating profile problem that plagues other online dating sites.

Thread first launched in early September 2009, so it is not very old. Two weeks into launch they had 4000 registrations and the site continues to grow. The Thread software developers are busy coding new features for the site so expect a number of updates in the near future. Everything on Thread is currently free, including messaging (which is handled by Facebook). They do plan to offer some premium products though. Some potential examples include paying for information to see who has viewed you, find out which of your photos received the most clicks, and virtual gifts. Paying for endorsement badges may also be a possibility which will allow your friends to endorse you as a great match.

The one major thing I would change about Thread is I think they should allow you the option to search for other Thread members as possible matches. I am not saying to search the friends of these members (as I am sure this would violate Facebook privacy terms), but just them. This way members have more access to people who are single. Plus, you would have access to members you can search for right away since you don't have to wait for your friends to approve your Thread invite request.

For more on this story, including an interview with CEO of Thread, Brian Phillips, visit VatorNews. You can also find the Thread.com website here.

For a list of other Facebook dating services, you can checkout our Facebook Dating category.