Advice

Most of the time I advise people who begin online dating to be wary of becoming addicted to the gambling aspect of it: the tendency to give up a good thing just because you're thinking something even better could still be out there, someone truly perfect. However, there's a trap to avoid at the other end of the spectrum as well: settling for the first decent person you find.

Everyone understands that the dating scene can be grim, and we've all heard the horror stories of online dating: the people that don't match their photographs, or manage to keep their completely offensive personalities out of their profiles. Thus, it can be something of a surprise when we finally meet someone who does match their pictures, who doesn't appear to have anything outwardly wrong with them, either in appearance or personality.

It's far easier to meet “nice people” through online dating than the horror stories would have us believe – and that's where the hard part begins. You see, there are many, many nice people out there. That doesn't mean you'll want to date or enter into a relationship with all of them – nor should you feel pressured to. There's still the all-important component of chemistry, and if you're lacking that, you're not only denying yourself, but your “nice person” partner a better match.

A friend of mine recently went on a first date with a guy she'd been talking to online. Everything about him seemed great: he had an interesting, exciting job, they had many things in common, he was pretty cute in his pictures. And when they met, he was still all of those things... but everything about the guy – the way he moved, spoke, his voice, his facial expressions – reminded my friend of her brother. It was uncanny. And when she ultimately decided the whole thing was just too weird, she faced a good deal of pressure from other friends and family. “Maybe he'll grow on you,” they said.

Yes, many relationships do develop over time, but if there's just no spark there – or worse, a visceral negative response – you're doing a disservice to the both of you in staying in a relationship you don't really want. Yes, maybe your date is a really nice person; in that case, they'll probably have no trouble finding someone else who recognizes their good qualities – and has chemistry with them to boot.

You may have seen quite a bit of mention this week on the subject of "green dating." It's hot - what can we say? If you're in the mood to take your dating practices from sexy to eco-sexual, we've put together a list of three great ideas for dates that ooze eco-sexy. Wow the next guy or gal in your midst with these hot date ideas that are easy on the environment.

Trade in Four Wheels for Two: Instead of driving to your next dating destination, why not meet your date and cruise to your destination together on two wheels? More and more metro areas are adding "bike savvy" to the list of amenities for locals. Not only is a bike ride a great time to chat, it doesn't even cost you any gas money!

Trade in Two Wheels for Two Feet: Park those bikes and plan a day around town, powered by your own two feet. Most major cities have great cluster-type destinations where you can reach a bunch of cool local attractions in a centralized area. Pack a lunch, stop by a park mid-day and let your two feet take you wherever you'd like to go!

Cruiser Rides: More and more cities are getting hip to the fact that people love to ride bikes. Check your local weekly newspaper to see if there are any cruiser rides! Cruiser rides gather bike enthusiasts in a relaxed setting during the evenings and take your to a couple different destinations during the night. These are great date events as you always have a riding companion and there's really nothing eco-sexier than not spending money on gas and getting to know someone at the same time!

These three ideas should give you some eco-friendly food for thought when it comes to planning your next green date. Don't forget - sexy has an all-new dimension and it's called eco-sexual. It's enough to make you green!

When I was a pre-teen, the idea of formal “dating” seemed weird, smothering and maybe even a little scary. Don't get me wrong, I'd had “boyfriends,” but “dating” at that stage consisted of going to the movies, or going to an amusement park, usually with a group of friends. Contrast that with “dates” in the movies or on TV; even high-schoolers were shown at romantic restaurants with drippy candles and soft lighting, dressing up and bringing presents (how did they even get there if they couldn't drive?). Shudder. It all seemed too... too heavy. Give me an evening bowling instead.

As an adult, I'm only marginally more romantic; I still look for fun more than romance. But it recently occurred to me that the “heavy” feeling I once experienced wasn't simply due to my age; it was thinking about a level of romance that I wasn't ready for that really creeped me out. If I'm in a well-established relationship, I might have more fun at a bowling alley, but I can go on a fancy, formal date just as easily. Put me in a new relationship, however, and I'd much rather stick to fun activities for the first few dates.

When you're planning your first date with a new person, keep your partner's comfort level, as well as your own, in mind. Maybe you've met for coffee already and you've really hit it off; that's fantastic, but it doesn't necessarily mean you need to go from zero to sixty in one day. For some people, romance, even more than sex, is the panic button.

So, how do you know what's right for you and your partner? The best trick in the book: communication. Good communication will solve or avoid a wealth of problems in the future, and there's no better time to start communicating than before the very first date. Maybe your partner likes to be wooed, to have a fairy-tale romance; maybe they'd like to be the wooer; maybe they'd like to go to mini-golf. Having discussions like these may even provide further insight into your compatibility.

As you plan your first date, remember: the only standards you need to worry about are between you and your partner. The goal is to have a good time – and the two of you decide what that means.

Last year was the year of adultery claims The Daily Targum. This is due to that several high profile celebrities like Tiger Woods and Jesse James got caught cheating on their wives. I would also add to this claim that dating sites like Ashley Madison which promote infidelity made this a hot topic in the media as well.

Chemistry.com's relationship expert, Dr. Helen Fisher, has said that adultery has roots not only in psychology but biology as well. Some of the psychological reasons for adultery she gives include:

• Solving a sex problem.
• Looking for more attention.
• Revenge.
• Supplement a marriage.
• More excitement.

Dr. Fisher also makes the point that there is a biological side to adultery. She states that the brain has two systems with one linked to attachment and love and one which is the sex drive. In some people these two systems are not well connected which enables people to more easily cheat without regard for their partner's feelings. Dr. Fisher research also indicates that a gene may be partially responsible for this. Researchers in Sweden have found a “cheating” gene in a study of 552 pairs of twins and their spouses. People without the gene were more likely to have a successful marriage. If people had two copies of the gene, the researchers found that the couples were more likely to have a crisis in the marriage.

To find out more information about the dating site in which Dr. Helen Fisher help design the matching system, read our review of Chemistry.

Today we live in a world that is increasingly about instant gratification. It's not a slam on any one generation; it's all of us. Have a question? Look it up on the internet. Out at dinner and not at the computer? Look it up on your phone. Feel like watching a movie? Watch it instantly from a website.

Some things, however, can't be rushed. Emotions and relationships are frustratingly archaic in their slow development. And that's something we need to remember when we embark on online dating.

One of the great benefits of online dating is that it's a time-saver; no longer do you have to hope you'll just run into someone who happens to share common interests and be attractive to boot. Fill out a few simple forms and voila! Dozens of potential matches, right at your fingertips. The decision-making begins immediately: rather than talk to every potential match, you can choose whether or not to even contact them. And for some, that decision is almost instant.

Then, however, you send off an email to someone you think is worth a closer look. The situation is now out of your hands: you have to wait for them to even see the email, then decide if they want to pursue a conversation. And a conversation isn't a guarantee that you'll get a friendship going.

You'd be surprised how many people get completely annoyed by the fact that making an online dating profile, even getting an email returned, doesn't guarantee an instant boyfriend or girlfriend. But I've gone through all the appropriate steps! they think. Let's get this show on the road!

This is a dangerous trap to fall into. If all you're looking for is the end result – a significant other – you'll not be fully invested in the relationship process; becoming friends, falling in love. And, ultimately, it will cost you. Any relationship where you're not fully engaged will fall apart, sooner or later.

So as you construct your dating profiles and begin your search, remember: you're looking for a starting point, a contact, nothing more. Perhaps you'll wind up with a significant other, a title, a status – but the journey is just as fun as the destination. Enjoy it.

Even though the success rate of online dating is something that has been proven time and time again, there are still many who think that it's not the way to go in order to find a true, committed relationship and marriage. As someone who has navigated the online dating scene and found my future husband online when I wasn't actually looking for a husband per say, I can see why some people would be skeptical. Not only did I go on my share of crappy dates over the years, but, I too was a crappy candidate seeing as how I was using online dating for research as opposed to love. But this doesn't mean that the majority of those using online dating are doing so for sinister or less-than-genuine reasons.

I've mentioned in other articles that finding love online starts with you and your willingness to open yourself up to the possibilities. I've also mentioned that you can increase your chances of finding compatible matches by focusing your search where there are others who want what you want. In the case of someone who wants to find long lasting love and ultimately marriage, there are sites that cater to you and those who think as you do. There is no shame in wanting to meet someone to marry. Granted, you should be looking for marriage with someone you love and not just the first person who comes along and is willing! Admitting that you're looking for a long lasting commitment-in spite of what Cosmo tell you!-can help you weed out the time wasters. And, the best place to come out of the looking-for-a-husband-closet is a dating site for those looking for marriage. I've found one in particular that appears to be worth trying so now all you gotta do is get on the site and get ready to say it loud and say it proud; I'm looking for a husband! The site I'm talking about is Husbands.com.

Since this site is geared specifically to marriage-minded individuals, you can browse and date to your heart's content knowing that those you meet are looking for the same. This doesn't guarantee a love connection, of course, but it is a great start that gets you in touch with others looking for the happily ever after. Husbands.com is a no fuss, no muss site dedicated to people looking for love, commitment and yes, marriage. It's a great site to join if you are looking for a husband or are a man who is ready to meet someone to be a husband to. The site is easy to use and has a strong member base and seems as respectable as you'd hope a site dedicated to finding a husband would.