Dinner or Bowling: The Pefect First Date For You
- Sunday, April 11 2010 @ 09:11 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 3,230
When I was a pre-teen, the idea of formal “dating” seemed weird, smothering and maybe even a little scary. Don't get me wrong, I'd had “boyfriends,” but “dating” at that stage consisted of going to the movies, or going to an amusement park, usually with a group of friends. Contrast that with “dates” in the movies or on TV; even high-schoolers were shown at romantic restaurants with drippy candles and soft lighting, dressing up and bringing presents (how did they even get there if they couldn't drive?). Shudder. It all seemed too... too heavy. Give me an evening bowling instead.
As an adult, I'm only marginally more romantic; I still look for fun more than romance. But it recently occurred to me that the “heavy” feeling I once experienced wasn't simply due to my age; it was thinking about a level of romance that I wasn't ready for that really creeped me out. If I'm in a well-established relationship, I might have more fun at a bowling alley, but I can go on a fancy, formal date just as easily. Put me in a new relationship, however, and I'd much rather stick to fun activities for the first few dates.
When you're planning your first date with a new person, keep your partner's comfort level, as well as your own, in mind. Maybe you've met for coffee already and you've really hit it off; that's fantastic, but it doesn't necessarily mean you need to go from zero to sixty in one day. For some people, romance, even more than sex, is the panic button.
So, how do you know what's right for you and your partner? The best trick in the book: communication. Good communication will solve or avoid a wealth of problems in the future, and there's no better time to start communicating than before the very first date. Maybe your partner likes to be wooed, to have a fairy-tale romance; maybe they'd like to be the wooer; maybe they'd like to go to mini-golf. Having discussions like these may even provide further insight into your compatibility.
As you plan your first date, remember: the only standards you need to worry about are between you and your partner. The goal is to have a good time – and the two of you decide what that means.
As an adult, I'm only marginally more romantic; I still look for fun more than romance. But it recently occurred to me that the “heavy” feeling I once experienced wasn't simply due to my age; it was thinking about a level of romance that I wasn't ready for that really creeped me out. If I'm in a well-established relationship, I might have more fun at a bowling alley, but I can go on a fancy, formal date just as easily. Put me in a new relationship, however, and I'd much rather stick to fun activities for the first few dates.
When you're planning your first date with a new person, keep your partner's comfort level, as well as your own, in mind. Maybe you've met for coffee already and you've really hit it off; that's fantastic, but it doesn't necessarily mean you need to go from zero to sixty in one day. For some people, romance, even more than sex, is the panic button.
So, how do you know what's right for you and your partner? The best trick in the book: communication. Good communication will solve or avoid a wealth of problems in the future, and there's no better time to start communicating than before the very first date. Maybe your partner likes to be wooed, to have a fairy-tale romance; maybe they'd like to be the wooer; maybe they'd like to go to mini-golf. Having discussions like these may even provide further insight into your compatibility.
As you plan your first date, remember: the only standards you need to worry about are between you and your partner. The goal is to have a good time – and the two of you decide what that means.
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