You Want Fries With That Relationship?
- Tuesday, April 06 2010 @ 10:16 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 3,069
Today we live in a world that is increasingly about instant gratification. It's not a slam on any one generation; it's all of us. Have a question? Look it up on the internet. Out at dinner and not at the computer? Look it up on your phone. Feel like watching a movie? Watch it instantly from a website.
Some things, however, can't be rushed. Emotions and relationships are frustratingly archaic in their slow development. And that's something we need to remember when we embark on online dating.
One of the great benefits of online dating is that it's a time-saver; no longer do you have to hope you'll just run into someone who happens to share common interests and be attractive to boot. Fill out a few simple forms and voila! Dozens of potential matches, right at your fingertips. The decision-making begins immediately: rather than talk to every potential match, you can choose whether or not to even contact them. And for some, that decision is almost instant.
Then, however, you send off an email to someone you think is worth a closer look. The situation is now out of your hands: you have to wait for them to even see the email, then decide if they want to pursue a conversation. And a conversation isn't a guarantee that you'll get a friendship going.
You'd be surprised how many people get completely annoyed by the fact that making an online dating profile, even getting an email returned, doesn't guarantee an instant boyfriend or girlfriend. But I've gone through all the appropriate steps! they think. Let's get this show on the road!
This is a dangerous trap to fall into. If all you're looking for is the end result – a significant other – you'll not be fully invested in the relationship process; becoming friends, falling in love. And, ultimately, it will cost you. Any relationship where you're not fully engaged will fall apart, sooner or later.
So as you construct your dating profiles and begin your search, remember: you're looking for a starting point, a contact, nothing more. Perhaps you'll wind up with a significant other, a title, a status – but the journey is just as fun as the destination. Enjoy it.
Some things, however, can't be rushed. Emotions and relationships are frustratingly archaic in their slow development. And that's something we need to remember when we embark on online dating.
One of the great benefits of online dating is that it's a time-saver; no longer do you have to hope you'll just run into someone who happens to share common interests and be attractive to boot. Fill out a few simple forms and voila! Dozens of potential matches, right at your fingertips. The decision-making begins immediately: rather than talk to every potential match, you can choose whether or not to even contact them. And for some, that decision is almost instant.
Then, however, you send off an email to someone you think is worth a closer look. The situation is now out of your hands: you have to wait for them to even see the email, then decide if they want to pursue a conversation. And a conversation isn't a guarantee that you'll get a friendship going.
You'd be surprised how many people get completely annoyed by the fact that making an online dating profile, even getting an email returned, doesn't guarantee an instant boyfriend or girlfriend. But I've gone through all the appropriate steps! they think. Let's get this show on the road!
This is a dangerous trap to fall into. If all you're looking for is the end result – a significant other – you'll not be fully invested in the relationship process; becoming friends, falling in love. And, ultimately, it will cost you. Any relationship where you're not fully engaged will fall apart, sooner or later.
So as you construct your dating profiles and begin your search, remember: you're looking for a starting point, a contact, nothing more. Perhaps you'll wind up with a significant other, a title, a status – but the journey is just as fun as the destination. Enjoy it.
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