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Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

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No but you could do about the same with Tumblr

jim b

The site I visited is loaded with viruses and malware. in one visit I got 40 different malware and a trojan. They are very difficult to remove. I didn't know it was from this site until I stopped visiting and I got my computer clean. a couple of weeks later I went back to be sure and I'm infected again trying to get rid of all the malware. the virus was easier to remove.

This site is also full of scammers from trying to rip you off.. They do nothing to verify them or block those profiles or IPs. They get their advertising based on the traffic on their site so they have no incentive to stop the scammers. Also, relatively few on the site are really serious, just on the site playing.

Anony's Moose

Fetlife is a kink/fetish version of in a carbon copy, but just kinky, all the drama, highschool tier cliche non-sense, ect...

In my experience it's nothing, but a congregation of cam models looking to get views for cash and sell their used panties, women who want a cyber sugar-daddy to buy them stuff off of Amazon in exchange for videos of them uncovering an ankle, couples looking and never finding a third-party for their bedroom play, voyeurs who love cum photo tributes, but never actually do anything, but take photos of themselves, older folks (60+) taking compromising photos doing things they wish they could have done in their youth and sharing them with EVERYONE and fetish specific folks that take 4,000 photos of their new "toy" and want to share EVERY PHOTO they took to the public stream.

I've had two, TWO actual conversations (not someone thanking you for liking their photo and never replying back to you). One from a young woman who wanted to meet for sex, desperately enough to fly three states over to have if that wasn't throwing up red flags...young, attractive 19 year old desperate to have sex with a out of shape 28 year old...sure, that's not hinky.

The other was actually a pleasant conversation with a MtF TG, but the convo died off eventually.

Anyone who added me as a friend was a cam girl or voyeur, who 'dlike a random photo, most often not one of you, but something else you've post in your gallery.

I added all kinds of folks from my area, some of whom I know...90% of them check their FL once a month, maybe reply to a comment or two. The remaining 10% never reply to comments, messages, ect...

Then there is the bit about paying the $5/month to get access to a more active photo stream and feed, the ability to view more of your own timeline, to view videos, ect...

Lastly, FL openly admits they allow faux profiles under the guise that someone may want to express a kink/fetish, but are too timid to do some on a legit profile and may want to express it under an alternative profile...and they will allow said alternative profile until it is proven to be someone being impersonated or a troll, so there is a major chance of being catfished or worse, Craigslist stalked.



Join your local dungeon............. 27 years LA SF bay Portland Seattle Online is a waste of time.
Go get eye contact
I have never found anyone online.
Don't waste your time money and life online. There is only one way to meet a kinky woman.
Create her by loving her. They are all corruptible give the right partner.
Besides what makes you think they aren't kinky and don't have the same thoughts?

So unless you live in Moose tooth middle of no where. FORGET online or maybe you just like the pic's.


Collarspace is, unfortunately, a vehicle for scams. There are real people, looking for real relationships there, but they are in the extreme minority. I am a Dom and I found my current online slave there. But just to find what I have, I had to endure and weed through dozens of scammers and fakes. I would estimate that there are roughly 0.2% genuine profiles on Collarspace. The sad reality is that Collarspace DOES promote scamming through a very foolish policy. You cannot say anything unflattering about another profile. However, there is HOPE. Legitimate profiles need to have verified pics. (A pic of you holding a sign stating the date, site name and your user name.) Then your profile needs to lead with a clear statement that you will PROVE your identity. (Pic of your drivers license etc.) When every legitimate user adopts this simple policy and follows thru on that, then Collarspace will change for the better, regardless of what the admins choose to do.


The person who said FetLife is mainly cam models clearly hasn't spent much time there.

It is full of legitimate real life people with interests in BDSM, kink, etc.

There is no other site remotely as legitimate. Sad to say.

But it is not a dating site and never has been.

MOST of the users are not looking for find someone new. They are married, or in long-standing communities of likeminded people, etc. Or simply there to learn and share ideas.

It does have groups where can place personal ads, and many that are location based.

BUT the percentage of women even possibly looking to meet someone new is way overwhelmed by the men who are looking.

And if you are a sub or switch looking for a switch or domme you have almost zero chance of anyone even talking to you in all by the most casual and sporadic way.

However, it is a place to learn about the various private groups and communities that meet in real life.

I have sat down with two very different women, one met through Craigslsit, who was looking for instant fantasy fulfillment and dismissive of anyone who didn't walk in the door with all her favorite check boxes checked, and one I met through FetLife, who is a true lifelong practitioner. Unfortunately for me she is attached and monogamous. But as the head of one of those BDSM societies, she wanted to evaluate how serious I was and then give me very good advice.

I will finally be attending such events. Not her group, since they are specific to a particular foreign language.

I wished I could meet someone who was interested in dating and a relationship that was not taken into "the scene." But this appears to be the only way to really get noticed.

I will continue to place ads and profiles on FetLife, Collarspace, ChurchofChains, Femdommesociety, Fetster, Craigslist, OKCupid, and

But Fetlife is the only actual site with a population that is primarily real lifestyle practitioners, even if most of them are not looking to hook up or meet someone to date or marry, etc.


Just an FYI, I used collar space a few years ago and found the most success there. I am one of the few true lifestyle dommes out there. My experience with that site is that yes most of the females are pro dommes. Boys be very carefull, unless you are rich, and just enjoy spending your money. Do your homework if you are new, theres lots of instruction out there. I found 3 subs that i enjoyed playing with. My only problem is that there were lots of guys on there who are married or have gf, and they will try to lie to you about it. My advice is to not lie, I did end up playing with 2 who were married already, but they were honest about it, which is the only way i would choose one who was already taken. My other advice is to work at it if you want a real domme and dont lie about anything. if the lady seems real and has not told you to go away, just keep begging. some of us like that.


I am knew to the kink lifestyle. But I have only been on fetlife 3 days and I have had great luck. They now allow classified ads and kik groups dedicated to your local area. I have met amazing people and learned a lot. Already found a femdomme to teach me


What ever you do, don't go to collarspace it's the worst site possible


I am in a poly relationship, but am not the primary and looking for my true Dom. I am not an obese female...but I am over 30. All that being said, finding a Dom has been difficult. I keep going to events, everyone is partned's depressing. I've been told that my Dom will find me when I least expect it...Fetlife and Whiplr are all I use.

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