Subject: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2014/09/11 04:09pm
By: Anonymous

I made an account for "perversions.com" because some bogus review site said it's good for BDSM people, then it turns out to actually be a website called eroticads.com, which I searched and had several bogus reviews, then I found actual user reviews that verified everything is bogus.

ANYWAY, I can find normal women offline easy, but where do I find women into BDSM or fetish-related stuff? It seems inappropriate to post that on normal dating sites. The biggest fetish/BDSM community, fetlife, isn't a dating site and there is not a search engine designed to find matches.

I don't know what to do. I'm young, fit, everything good, but I don't know where to advertise myself where my type of women will see me.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2014/09/16 02:49am
By: Anonymous

Hey, anyone know?

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2014/12/29 08:27pm
By: Anonymous

Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.

Be careful, a lot of ignorant people and some scammers on Collar Space. Stay safe.

Fetlife is more like facebook for kinksters, with a lot of bells and whistles. it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting.

IMO both sites are free and safe for signup.

Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. you may laugh, but many guys still do that.

second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. Don't just go "hey i want this and that, and you are sub, so you have to give it to me. " that will get you blocked. THese are not just kinksters, they are PEOPLE .

Good luck.

Mistymouse ( my nym on either site)

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2015/10/15 08:52am
By: Anonymous

I have had 0 luck with Collarspace and Fetlife. They make me hate myself more than anything, no one ever messages you. Your search results with collarspace are limited to say the least, and there are plenty of scammers there. I am uninterested in going to Fetlife munch's because of some social anxiety, but that seems the only way to maybe meet someone.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2015/10/23 01:55pm
By: Anonymous

The kink scene is not like "vanilla" dating. There are not huge numbers of people and it is a long process to find the right people.

Definitely join both fetlife and collarme but keep expectations in check.

Collarme has relatively few women and a majority of those are pro dommes. It is worth being on there, though, and it is free.

Fetlife is a must. Everyone who is serious about kink is on it. It really is the facebook of the kink world. It does not have a search function that works for dating. However, you can join groups with a local focus and groups focused on kinks that interest you. You will find out about local events and regional/national events. If you post in the forums on fetlife it gives you the chance to engage intellectually with people, which can lead to meetings.

However, most kinky people have to get out to events. Look for local events. There are also some big kink events that are great if you can afford to travel. Some I can recommend are those run by Dark Odyssey and Frolicon.

if you are a submissive male, your first experiences will almost certainly be with professionals. There are few dominant women and many submissive men and the odds are incredibly against you. If you are hot, you may get some free play at parties and events. If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play. Starting with pros can gain you credibility; most dommes don't want to waste time on total newbies. But a male submissive has to network relentlessly to get free play and/or find a relationship.Also work on your career. To be completely honest, dommes are spoled and a male submissive with little money has little chance with them.

If you are a dominant the odds are less daunting, though still against you. Go to events to learn techniques and develop a reputation in the community as a safe player and a decent guy. (Dominant does not = asshole.) Once you build that reputation the women will come to you.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/01/04 08:30am
By: Anonymous

So I have been in the Scene over 30 years
Unlike other rude wannabe pop up hookers with whips I enjoy play
Lifestyle and pro respectful and play long and hard
Many photo collector. Myself included
I was sent a email saying I had too many
Emails friends and favorite requests.
Although a rule breaker I woyld abide by the rules had I been informed
Other Members told me the block is for one day
I had a photo sub and photographer there needed to converse
So I set up another temporary profile
I contacted support numerous times explaining this
I was ignored and blocked from the site

My blond counterpart has two profiles

This is a porn site purely with nothing but scammers and disrespectful rude users and staff
Grow some balls really

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/03/28 05:34am
By: Anonymous

HI

ALT.com and AFF.com are two BDSM dating sites. I've met lots of guys here (I'm female) and found them great sites. try them. Cheers

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/04/25 09:39am
By: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

HI

ALT.com and AFF.com are two BDSM dating sites. I've met lots of guys here (I'm female) and found them great sites. try them. Cheers



Sorry, this sounds like a fake review.

Adult Friend Finder (AFF) owns Alt.com and both are full of fake profiles.

If you sign up for the free version your mailbox quickly gets messages from people who cannot have contact with unless you pay.

Once you pay, none of those people actually reply to any effort you make to contact them. Most of them are young and good looking. In other words, 100% fake plants that the site employs to make people believe it is an active and successful site.

Worst of all, Alt.com claims to be a BDSM site, and yet if you are a submissive looking for a dominant the majority of people they "match" you to are also submissives who are looking for dominant partners. If you are dominant, you are matched to other dominants and there is no way to change this. The orientation is not even an option when filling out what you are looking for, beyond Gay, Straight, Bi.

Do your research, tons of reviews show that Alt.com and AFF are scams.

The biggest shame as Alt.com/AFF bought Bondage.com and closed it down. It had the largest chatroom community.

Many other sites follow this model, like Femdom Dating, which also fills your mailbox with messages trying to get you to pay so you can read them. And all of them are from hot young women, by their photo, looking for a slave to worshi8p them, although they live thousands of miles from you, are young enough to be your daughter, and won't reply to your messages, since they do not really exist.

As for legit sites,

Fetster.com is new and has potential. It is primarily younger people however. So if you are much over 30 you may not generate much interest. Church of Chains uses the same interface, but I do not know if they are at all related. 35 and under almost exclusively.

Kinkylove.com is mainly a photo site, like a tumblr blog. It too is mainly younger people, but many appear to be real and there is a large number with dating profiles. It is international, mainly Dom Male and sub females but there are the opposite orientations too.

FETLIFE

Fetlife is clearly the best option. But as someone pointed out, no one messages you. This is not a personal ad site, it is a community. The majority of the people there already have someone and are not "looking for love."

There are a zillion more males than females on all these sites, frankly. And if you are a submissive male there are 10 zillion for every eligible female. So you have work cut out for you if you expect to be noticed at all.

But if you are a dominant male looking for more than playing in the semi-public scene with women who are already attached but allowed to "play," you are also facing extreme odds.

Most of the single submissive females on Fetlife who are not under 25 range from extremely overweight to obese. I realize that is now the status quo in American society, but it is simply a fact that height and weight proportional people on Fetlife, who are single and looking for someone, are perhaps THE smallest population, um so to speak.

COLLARSPACE

Unlike Fetlife, Collarspace is really all about hooking up, finding significant others, or additions to one's collection of subs, ployhousholds etc. The community aspect on the forums and chatrooms are but a sideline.

This is smaller than Fetlife, and yes it is full of pro dommes. But there are also lifestyle dommes.

On the whole it is mainly leather oriented, Master/slave stuff. But occasionally there are more domestic FLR and spanko types.

Collarpace has a percentage of fake "findommes" i.e. young girls who are under the delusion men will throw money at them for no reason whatsoever. And some older women who are under the same delusion.

It is pretty easy to tell the real people from the wishful thinking prostitutes.

Dominant men dominant the population. So do not expect a submissive woman to reply to even the most appropriate and polite message. They get far too many messages to be able to read all of them. But if you make an effort to search for newest members often you may get a foot in door before they are swamped with replies.

They do have chatrooms, but regardless of your BDSM orientation you have to be up for hours of small talk about the weather if you hope to be accepted and possibly get to know someone.

iPUNISHMENT

ipunishment is a free spanking-oriented community. It runs like Facebook. While it does have people seeking others, it is not the main objective and there is no way to search for new members or search by dominant or submissive orientation. So when you browse members, you see all the women in alphabetical order and no indication of who joined when, who is currently active, etc.

COLLARNCUFFS

This is Dominant Female - submissive male ONLY. But they do a good job keeping the findomme fakes out and also the pervy subs who are just on there for cheap thrills.

If you are near an urban center you may have more luck through the personals of Craigslist.



Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/05/30 07:30pm
By: Anonymous

i have had the best luck on Fetlife but since my relocation to Florida it has turned out to be tougher and less of a thing here in the area. But i found my Owners on Collarspace... the only good thing to come from the site.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/08/25 07:53pm
By: Anonymous

Fetlife is not a dating site so don't post adds looking to hook up or meet people. Fetlife is an resource for education and events in your area. The best way to meet kinky people is in person as women especially will not meet up with random dudes. Try going to some munches in your area, listed on Fetlife, to meet people. Kink/BDSM is all about trusting your partner and anyone who says otherwise will be an instant red flag to potential partners.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/09/07 11:32am
By: Anonymous

No but you could do about the same with Tumblr

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/11/17 10:51am
By: Anonymous

The site I visited is loaded with viruses and malware. in one visit I got 40 different malware and a trojan. They are very difficult to remove. I didn't know it was from this site until I stopped visiting and I got my computer clean. a couple of weeks later I went back to be sure and I'm infected again trying to get rid of all the malware. the virus was easier to remove.

This site is also full of scammers from trying to rip you off.. They do nothing to verify them or block those profiles or IPs. They get their advertising based on the traffic on their site so they have no incentive to stop the scammers. Also, relatively few on the site are really serious, just on the site playing.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/11/30 01:19am
By: Anonymous

Fetlife is a kink/fetish version of Facebook...as in a carbon copy, but just kinky, all the drama, highschool tier cliche non-sense, ect...

In my experience it's nothing, but a congregation of cam models looking to get views for cash and sell their used panties, women who want a cyber sugar-daddy to buy them stuff off of Amazon in exchange for videos of them uncovering an ankle, couples looking and never finding a third-party for their bedroom play, voyeurs who love cum photo tributes, but never actually do anything, but take photos of themselves, older folks (60+) taking compromising photos doing things they wish they could have done in their youth and sharing them with EVERYONE and fetish specific folks that take 4,000 photos of their new "toy" and want to share EVERY PHOTO they took to the public stream.

I've had two, TWO actual conversations (not someone thanking you for liking their photo and never replying back to you). One from a young woman who wanted to meet for sex, desperately enough to fly three states over to have it...as if that wasn't throwing up red flags...young, attractive 19 year old desperate to have sex with a out of shape 28 year old...sure, that's not hinky.

The other was actually a pleasant conversation with a MtF TG, but the convo died off eventually.

Anyone who added me as a friend was a cam girl or voyeur, who 'dlike a random photo, most often not one of you, but something else you've post in your gallery.

I added all kinds of folks from my area, some of whom I know...90% of them check their FL once a month, maybe reply to a comment or two. The remaining 10% never reply to comments, messages, ect...

Then there is the bit about paying the $5/month to get access to a more active photo stream and feed, the ability to view more of your own timeline, to view videos, ect...

Lastly, FL openly admits they allow faux profiles under the guise that someone may want to express a kink/fetish, but are too timid to do some on a legit profile and may want to express it under an alternative profile...and they will allow said alternative profile until it is proven to be someone being impersonated or a troll, so there is a major chance of being catfished or worse, Craigslist stalked.


Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/11/30 09:43am
By: Anonymous

Join your local dungeon............. 27 years LA SF bay Portland Seattle Online is a waste of time.
Go get eye contact
I have never found anyone online.
Don't waste your time money and life online. There is only one way to meet a kinky woman.
Create her by loving her. They are all corruptible give the right partner.
Besides what makes you think they aren't kinky and don't have the same thoughts?

So unless you live in Moose tooth middle of no where. FORGET online or maybe you just like the pic's.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/12/05 03:53pm
By: Anonymous

Collarspace is, unfortunately, a vehicle for scams. There are real people, looking for real relationships there, but they are in the extreme minority. I am a Dom and I found my current online slave there. But just to find what I have, I had to endure and weed through dozens of scammers and fakes. I would estimate that there are roughly 0.2% genuine profiles on Collarspace. The sad reality is that Collarspace DOES promote scamming through a very foolish policy. You cannot say anything unflattering about another profile. However, there is HOPE. Legitimate profiles need to have verified pics. (A pic of you holding a sign stating the date, site name and your user name.) Then your profile needs to lead with a clear statement that you will PROVE your identity. (Pic of your drivers license etc.) When every legitimate user adopts this simple policy and follows thru on that, then Collarspace will change for the better, regardless of what the admins choose to do.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2016/12/10 01:39pm
By: Anonymous

The person who said FetLife is mainly cam models clearly hasn't spent much time there.

It is full of legitimate real life people with interests in BDSM, kink, etc.

There is no other site remotely as legitimate. Sad to say.

But it is not a dating site and never has been.

MOST of the users are not looking for find someone new. They are married, or in long-standing communities of likeminded people, etc. Or simply there to learn and share ideas.

It does have groups where can place personal ads, and many that are location based.

BUT the percentage of women even possibly looking to meet someone new is way overwhelmed by the men who are looking.

And if you are a sub or switch looking for a switch or domme you have almost zero chance of anyone even talking to you in all by the most casual and sporadic way.

However, it is a place to learn about the various private groups and communities that meet in real life.

I have sat down with two very different women, one met through Craigslsit, who was looking for instant fantasy fulfillment and dismissive of anyone who didn't walk in the door with all her favorite check boxes checked, and one I met through FetLife, who is a true lifelong practitioner. Unfortunately for me she is attached and monogamous. But as the head of one of those BDSM societies, she wanted to evaluate how serious I was and then give me very good advice.

I will finally be attending such events. Not her group, since they are specific to a particular foreign language.

I wished I could meet someone who was interested in dating and a relationship that was not taken into "the scene." But this appears to be the only way to really get noticed.

I will continue to place ads and profiles on FetLife, Collarspace, ChurchofChains, Femdommesociety, Fetster, Craigslist, OKCupid, and Match.com

But Fetlife is the only actual site with a population that is primarily real lifestyle practitioners, even if most of them are not looking to hook up or meet someone to date or marry, etc.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/01/10 10:18pm
By: Anonymous

Just an FYI, I used collar space a few years ago and found the most success there. I am one of the few true lifestyle dommes out there. My experience with that site is that yes most of the females are pro dommes. Boys be very carefull, unless you are rich, and just enjoy spending your money. Do your homework if you are new, theres lots of instruction out there. I found 3 subs that i enjoyed playing with. My only problem is that there were lots of guys on there who are married or have gf, and they will try to lie to you about it. My advice is to not lie, I did end up playing with 2 who were married already, but they were honest about it, which is the only way i would choose one who was already taken. My other advice is to work at it if you want a real domme and dont lie about anything. if the lady seems real and has not told you to go away, just keep begging. some of us like that.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/01/14 05:06am
By: Anonymous

I am knew to the kink lifestyle. But I have only been on fetlife 3 days and I have had great luck. They now allow classified ads and kik groups dedicated to your local area. I have met amazing people and learned a lot. Already found a femdomme to teach me

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/01/23 09:44am
By: Anonymous

What ever you do, don't go to collarspace it's the worst site possible

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/04/18 02:01am
By: Anonymous

I am in a poly relationship, but am not the primary and looking for my true Dom. I am not an obese female...but I am over 30. All that being said, finding a Dom has been difficult. I keep going to events, everyone is partned up...it's depressing. I've been told that my Dom will find me when I least expect it...Fetlife and Whiplr are all I use.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/04/30 10:13am
By: Anonymous

I use whiplr and collarme and thats it. Am really looking to gather a sub for a poly, but as my 'primary' sub will be out of touch for 6 months, guess i am looking for a new primary potentially

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/05/17 02:00pm
By: Anonymous

Your better off using Friday-ad or Vivastreet and just paying for it, if you do find a site that is for BDSM you will end up paying a fee when you meet the women anyway.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/06/01 04:32am
By: Anonymous

I was doing a bit of research and came across this discussion. I have gone through the suggestions given here but none of them work for me. Most seem ttserveo serve countries/regions(I am in kenya) that are too far from me and some like Alt.com are not helpful at all.
Is there a genuine site near me that I can go looking for a dom safely

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/06/07 10:28am
By: Anonymous


in the u.s. hooking up for some bdsm action is a real pain (in the bad way). but in germany it's easy and full of hot girls and ladies into it.

smklub.com is really good, if you are willing to spend a vacation in berlin.

the economic way is, a month or two before you come, use wg-gesuch to rent a room
two weeks before you come, do a profile on smklub or another site (there are others)
google translate works excellent for german < > englsh, use it


Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/06/18 06:19am
By: Anonymous

If you really want to meet people 'in' the lifestyle, 'in' groups or attend events then Fetlife is probably your best bet.There are many venues and ways of finding like minded people and many groups there to help you discuss and/or find people in your area.

Collarspace was always more about the game of BDSM than finding people serious. I go there because I met my former Sir there but we were both involved in many other groups. The majority are married or new or out of the country or doing this secretly.

And anytime you have a site for people who like getting hit or tied etc. you will encounter aggressive people who want to hurt others. So being smart and careful is essential.

The biggest problem with online sites seem to be the same be those sites vanilla or kink related.

People prefer to look at photos and not read the words.
Scammers (some from the site owners) are everywhere.
People can be very hurtful because they don't have to look you in the eyes.
A huge collection of pros, newbies guessing through it, people who think it's all funny, marrieds and online only players getting off on your cooperation.

Probably just better to go to a place like Fetlife and look at local groups to you and start by attending munches and socializing with no agenda to hook up.

If you want more. To learn, to evolve, to get real-time support, check out groups like MAST international, MHDL, MsC or just google real time groups (insert your focus) and see what comes up.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/06/18 08:58am
By: Anonymous

As a young girl into BDSM (yep, we do exist!), who is in 3 of the sites mentioned in this thread, I would like to tell my (our?) side of the story. The simple fact is that we're totally outnumbered and overwhelmed. It's a bit like being the only kinda-decent-looking girl in a packed nightclub (I'm not especially gorgeous or anything, just your average scrawny girl next door, people say I'm cute but that's all.) If I don't sign in for a week, when I do, finding 100+ messages, friend and chat requests etc is not unusual at all. Just properly sorting them out can take hours and it feels like a job rather than fun. If you're not in the mood, you just mark all of them as "read" and start searching yourself for whatever you're looking for.

Because, no, we aren't "generic girls", we are in those sites looking for something which fits you. We're persons, like you, with our own tastes, fantasies, cravings or whatever which may or may not fit yours. If we just wanted to meet a "generic partner" or just have a "hardcore f**k"... well, you know how the world turns, we wouldn't need to join any site, just attending the nearest event, munch or whatever will do. In my experience and having talked to other girls, those of us who join a site and are actively seeking (including myself) are looking for stuff that we can't find at the nearest event. We're looking for a specific "match." If you don't feel like that "match", expect a "thanks but no thanks" answer in case I'm not so overwhelmed that I don't answer at all.

I'd ask you to read our profiles and check our groups/fetish/kinks lists etc before making contact. If they don't "feel like you"... please don't lose your time and mine (ours?), it's not gonna work. A friend of mine for example is looking for Dom/Domme couples to be their slave as explicitly stated in her profiles... and over 95% of mail and requests she gets come from single men or Dom/sub couples. The remaining 5% are full of single men or Dom/sub couples posing as Dom/Domme couples... that's going nowhere, sooner or latter she's gonna realize it. I, for instance, am not looking for a Master/Mistress or sub, I just want to experience some fantasies that I've had for a long time. Even those who are looking for a more "conventional" Dom/Domme or sub will most possibly be looking for a specific match ---just like everybody. That match will most possibly involve a real relationship, not just being "the toy" for someone to play with when they're not with their wife and kids. You get what I mean. Etc.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/07/07 04:49pm
By: Anonymous

I haven't read closely all of the replies but I didn't see OKCupid. While that is a primarily vanilla site I have found that there are significant numbers of women (and I assume men) who are into various forms of kink who have profiles there. I have met a number of women there and find that OKCupid out performs Collarspace and Fetlife by a wide margin.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/07/30 09:23am
By: Anonymous

Don't join Collar and cuffs that site is discrimative.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/08/01 08:40am
By: Anonymous

After typing 'bdsm sites' in google search, i found a reviews website of top 5 BDSM dating sites in the 1st page of search result. The reviews written there are detailed, but i'm so confused that why it ranks Alt.com as No.1. In my opinion, fetlife is better than any BDSM or fetish sites. And the most important is that fetlife.com is totally free.

All in all, i'm not agree with the ranking on that website. But we may refer to such a reviews site when we need the detailed information of some dating sites. It really saves us lots of time.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/09/07 09:00pm
By: Anonymous

Aussie BDSM is a site that I, in hindsight, stupidly subscribed to recently. It's just like the others described here, mailbox flooded by contacts when you first create an account, you can't read messages until you pay, and when you do, those who have messaged you never log back onto the site...funny that!

Worse still is that the site randomly auto-generates messages to other users, so suddenly you get a reply from someone you would never have messaged in a million years, saying thanks for the mail, I'm interested / not interested...err what, huh?

Then there are the scammers, whose locations change day by day, Australia one day, USA the next and so on. If you try to post anything useful in the forums about scammers or offer advice to other members who have posted questions, about things they've been told they need to purchase to get a date (red flag), the post is deleted, as it apparently breaks 'house rules'. So it looks like the site is happy to allow scammers a free run.

Finally, with this site, there is no online option to Cancel Auto-renewal or Cancel Subscription. You have to request a form, which is sent to you via email. You then have to print, complete the details, sign and scan, before sending the form as an attachment back to them via email and in the clear (unencrypted). If that doesn't have serious security concerns, it would be laughable. I think people might be forgiven for thinking the whole site / setup is a scam.

Avoid this site like the plague!

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/10/05 11:14am
By: Anonymous

Thanks to some of the women who have posted here about their experiences

Some of you asked about meeting local people, but did not include where in the world you live. So it is impossible to provide any sugestions.

As to a recent post about reviews and ALT - all those review sites are themselves FAKE. No one would ever list Alt.com with a favorable review except the owners of Alt.com.

Alt.com is scam from start to finish - although I know some pro dommes who use it just as another way to advertise.

MOST of the BDSM related dating sites out there, from SpankingPersonals to bdsmfriendsnetwork to FindaFemdom, are all the same company, using the same database of users.

There are real people there, probably mostly real, but 90% of the search results are people whose profile hasn't been updated in years, and their status just says "a few weeks ago" or "more than two weeks ago."

So searching by "Near Me" is worthless. The best thing to do is go to Browse and pick "Recent Activity" and "New Users". But be prepared for 99% of the people to be nowhere near you. And those who are will either be way too young for you or way too old.

I live in NYC, where one would think there would be MORE people looking. But on all those sites, there are way more people from the Midwest and other states than NYC, unless you are into African-American BBWs, as they make up the majority of NYC women posting ads on those sites.

Anyone in a major city who is willing to go to clubs or places where people "play" around other people have a much better chance than someone like me, who wants to keep all intimacy PRIVATE in a real relationship.

We are basically doomed to never finding anyone. I like to read the ads on Craigslist, and it is the same people - FOR YEARS - both the prostitutes and the legitimate people just trying to find someone with compatible sexuality.

Very depressing.




Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2017/11/09 04:37pm
By: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

I am in a poly relationship, but am not the primary and looking for my true Dom. I am not an obese female...but I am over 30. All that being said, finding a Dom has been difficult. I keep going to events, everyone is partned up...it's depressing. I've been told that my Dom will find me when I least expect it...Fetlife and Whiplr are all I use.



Where are you located? I am a Dom in Minneapolis, MN that has been looking for a sub for some time now without much luck.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/01/10 12:09am
By: Anonymous

Hello, for a kink website There's get dare (add forums for google search tho) and kinktalk. Its mostly online but there are people from pretty much everywhere and people do tend to meet sometimes! There's also lots of information on safety and such

Fetster is absolutely ridiculous, they deleted my account for literally no reason and when made new account to ask why it got deleted again. After I looked at reviews found out I wasn't the only one. Big Grin

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/01/14 10:16am
By: Anonymous

Had a femdom give me an email to contact to reserve a dungeon suite and session. They needed cash transfer and then gave me me address afterward. Is this legit?

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/01/19 09:34am
By: steve2016

I was on fetlife. The site is rediculous on some levels. You're allowed to post any pics you want. I learned about the site on okcupid I think where it had this girl who was I believe overweight. Some inboxed me and said its not a dating site.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/02/07 06:43pm
By: Anonymous

I am a female sub and I met my last partner on Alt.com.
I know it seems like a long shot because the site seems so bogus, but I truly did meet him there.

We were together for just over a year before it ended (it was an LDR) and now I'm back to square one in terms of finding a Dom.

I am on Fetlife... But it is not a dating site and I have had absolutely NO luck in terms of meeting anyone off there because of that (I really wish they'd add a dating option for all of those of us who actually ARE looking).

Living in suburbia in Ontario means that there are literally NO options around here in terms of events unless I feel like trekking to TO....which I prefer not to do for various reasons.

So, I definitely sympathize with your frustrations.
I've tried apps like KNKI and Vanilla Umbrella and dating sites like BDSM.com and all I get are men from other countries, men who are at least 20 years older than me, wannabe Doms who don't actually have a clue, or men who are only looking for a hookup or FWB.

What we kinky folks NEED is for Fetlife to make a dating app extension to their site. I personally wouldn't have an issue paying for it if they did.

You'd honestly think it wouldn't be as hard for sub women to find a male Dom (seeing as how everyone seems to think the ratios are well in our favour).... But I assure you that even we women struggle with finding viable partners in this lifestyle despite how easy some people say it is for us.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/03/03 08:22am
By: Anonymous

I spent the last couple of months, surfing through all these website, I Live in UK and I can say that the best site I used is bdsmdate.co.uk. Not all profiles are genuine but you will defiantly some real persons willing to meet. I don't know if it works outside UK or not.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/03/13 04:35pm
By: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

I am a female sub and I met my last partner on Alt.com.
I know it seems like a long shot because the site seems so bogus, but I truly did meet him there.

We were together for just over a year before it ended (it was an LDR) and now I'm back to square one in terms of finding a Dom.

I am on Fetlife... But it is not a dating site and I have had absolutely NO luck in terms of meeting anyone off there because of that (I really wish they'd add a dating option for all of those of us who actually ARE looking).

Living in suburbia in Ontario means that there are literally NO options around here in terms of events unless I feel like trekking to TO....which I prefer not to do for various reasons.

So, I definitely sympathize with your frustrations.
I've tried apps like KNKI and Vanilla Umbrella and dating sites like BDSM.com and all I get are men from other countries, men who are at least 20 years older than me, wannabe Doms who don't actually have a clue, or men who are only looking for a hookup or FWB.

What we kinky folks NEED is for Fetlife to make a dating app extension to their site. I personally wouldn't have an issue paying for it if they did.


You'd honestly think it wouldn't be as hard for sub women to find a male Dom (seeing as how everyone seems to think the ratios are well in our favour).... But I assure you that even we women struggle with finding viable partners in this lifestyle despite how easy some people say it is for us.





I live in Ontario as well (Grimsby) 20 years old, some experience. Maybe we could chat a bit

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/03/17 12:06pm
By: Anonymous

I would say that the one of the best BDSM dating sites is safebdsm.net. Huge plus is the fact that is 100 legit in that way that there are literally no fakes or scammers. People there are also really friendly and there are no harassers unlike most others sites. However I have heard that there are really few dominant females(especially straight) so for submissive males that place is not probably the best option, but for everyone else.... Definitely!

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/03/29 07:45pm
By: Anonymous

This is from a very long time Male Dom perspective.

Fetlife is nothing more than Facebook for kinksters. Most of the people in there are looking for attention by seeing how many "followers" and "likes" they can collect or they are exhibitionists who just want to post as many pics as they can.
There are a few that are legit (been on there for a year looking to meet people and it's been frustrating to even get someone to reply to a simple friendly message.) but they are very few and far between. May be better odds in the big cities but in Reno/Carson City Nevada, it's somewhat of a joke and a waste of time. You can find group munches and dungeon events though and that's your best bet to actually meet people off that mess of a site. Their search function is horrendous btw. They really need a revamp on the site.

Collarspace is a collection of scammers. Most of them are the "I will move in as your slave, just send me money for transportation" types. Soon as you ask them to send a pic of themselves with your name on a piece of paper as proof, POOF, they're gone.

Craigslist was where I had best success and that was a crapshoot, but now they bailed on personal ads because they didn't want to actually have to weed out the prostitutes and scammers.


Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/04/05 03:56am
By: LightFire__

This is my brief review of fetlife.

I have been subjected to criminal fraud there, taken advantage of by so many predators, and even the people who claim they are there to try and prevent these things are complete utter liars.

The number of times i've said no to people trying to come onto me, for them to just not accept no as an answer and continue trying, only for me to later find out that these people had very ill intentions and only wished to use me as a fetish vending machine.
I have lost count of the number of times my consent has been violated on fetlife.
And it's not even just sexual consent.
I've had Pictures AND VIDEO being posted of myself without my permission, and without ever having been asked first.

For the rest of my life, i will never trust another dominant, be they a master OR mistress, because i know better, that they're just abusive manipulators and predators.

Avoid fetlife like the plague!
It is not a good place, and they only wish to do you harm for their selfish greedy reasons.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/04/05 06:47am
By: MasterSeth

I will comment on Fetlife.com, as well as CollarSpace.com.

Both are free, and while I have 9 years of experience on both, and do a lot of free volunteer work with “Groups” on Fetlife, I do not get paid ANYTHING by anyone at either site, either for my efforts, or my opinions here.

While some bash Fetlife.com, (many people have had SERIOUS bad luck, upsetting connections, on almost any/every website) I can suggest, from 9 years of my experience, that it has a much higher usage satisfaction than most other sites.. And while it is true that you cannot do a lot of detailed person “searches”, you can learn a lot about activities in your area, since there are search functions for Events In My Area. There are also search functions for specific kink subject groups, AND, there are search functions for every one who is listing a certain fetish in their Fetish list ! But that search is world wide, and you cannot break it down to states, or cities. However you can do searches for Cities, and get, for instance, a LIST of the personal profiles of "13,580 kinksters" in Tucson Arizona, USA (as of today, 4/5/2018).

I joined Fetlife around March of 2009, and I think that was maybe about a year or so after Fetlife was created, by its owner in Toronto Canada.

I also joined CollarMe.com, later renamed CollarSpace.com, (CS) in March of 2009, and have worked it almost daily since then. And I can say that CS is very poor technically, often freezes up, was almost non functional a few months ago, the chat function apparently does not work for a lot of people, who have different type connections.

But it does have very detailed structure of search filters, on all kind of parameters, better than any other site I know of, and it is FREE.

The percent of travel money scammers is very high on CS, but, be smart, and you can begin to spot them very rapidly. My best shield against them, is I ask in my first reply to an ad,, “Are you able financially to get yourself to me in Tucson Arizona, if you decide you want to come here”

Fetlife does have some classified ads groups. Many of those are local to metro areas, some are very widely defined, across the globe. Many are not very well monitored, and allow any perspective, kink, or sexual orientation to post ads in their groups.
A few are very highly controlled and limit ads to only one orientation, interest, or as to what they are seeking. Here is an example of one “twin pair” of those, which I happen to be the Group Owner for. These are a brother/sister group pair, one for straight male doms and one for submissive females.
Classified! female sub Types Seeking Male Dom Types
Classified! Male Dom Types Seeking female sub Types

I happen to have inherited this pair of twin groups, from its original owner, who died. This pair of groups was started by him, on May 22, 2010, and I began helping him soon after that. His widow ran it for a while after he died, but soon asked me to take it/then over, as she had a number of other groups she worked on.

There are very strict rules in the two groups. Fetlife has some good basic rule in their TOS, (or Terms Of Service), but the owner of any group(s) can establish more stringent rules, and can ban users from using his groups if they do not abide. I do that frequently, without warning, because to join any Fetlife group, you have to scroll right down past all the posted rules to get to the “Join This Group” button. So, consider it an intelligence test to join the group; ignore the rules, you get banned... Most of the girls would prefer someone smart enough to figure that out.

Women can specify what their ranges of interest are, such as distance, age range, other parameters, and if males reply to their ad when the male is outside those ranges, then these replies are specifically defined as SPAM in these my group’s rules.

Women are strictly and highly protected in these two groups; if complaints occur due to actions of males, more often than not, the males are banned from both groups. Note that males have to join the female groups to post any replies to an ad, and they have to join the male group to post a male ad. Same is true, vice-versa, for females. So this provides strict control over access to these twin groups by the Group Owner (me).

The two twin groups now have a total of over 18,000 members combined, (12,686 in the female group, and 5, 547 in the male group, as of today, 4/5/2018.

I also have several other groups in Fetlife which I own. I started another male female pair of groups, specific to Monogamous Relationships.
Classified! Monogamy Female Personals
Classified! Monogamy Male Personals

Here is a list of all the Groups, which I *own, under my profile name of “TortureCrucifyWhip”. Of course another option is to set up your own personal website, such as mine, which is (Google search for) "Master-Seth.com". Many of these Fetlife groups that I own, were abandoned by their group owners, and I picked them up rather than see them die off, so some are not very active or highly popular.

Groups I lead/own on Fetlife.com:
*A BDSM "Who's Who"
*Arizona Dominants and Submissives
*BDSM POLY MASTERS WHO OWN ONE AND SEARCHING FOR SLAVES.
*Classified! female sub Types Seeking Male Dom Types
*Classified! Male Dom Types Seeking female sub Types
*Classified! Monogamy Female Personals
*Classified! Monogamy Male Personals
*FetListAZ (Things for sale, rooms for rent, etc.)
*Mentoring, Teaching, on a group basis (schools, classes, etc.)
*Older Master/younger slave
*Partner Searching - get help, support and advice as you search
*Relyfe (hypnosis programming)
*Tucson (& AZ) BDSM Female Classified, Only for females who are Bottoms, Subs or Slaves.
*Tucson (& AZ) BDSM Male Classified, Only for males who are Tops, Doms and Masters.
*Tucson Poly/Kinky Events
*Tucson Polygamy, Polyfidelity, Plural Marriage
*Tucson Taboo
*Yahoo Poly Tucson Discussion Group


Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/04/18 06:48am
By: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

HI

ALT.com and AFF.com are two BDSM dating sites. I've met lots of guys here (I'm female) and found them great sites. try them. Cheers



Sorry, this sounds like a fake review.

Adult Friend Finder (AFF) owns Alt.com and both are full of fake profiles.

If you sign up for the free version your mailbox quickly gets messages from people who cannot have contact with unless you pay.

Once you pay, none of those people actually reply to any effort you make to contact them. Most of them are young and good looking. In other words, 100% fake plants that the site employs to make people believe it is an active and successful site.

Worst of all, Alt.com claims to be a BDSM site, and yet if you are a submissive looking for a dominant the majority of people they "match" you to are also submissives who are looking for dominant partners. If you are dominant, you are matched to other dominants and there is no way to change this. The orientation is not even an option when filling out what you are looking for, beyond Gay, Straight, Bi.

Do your research, tons of reviews show that Alt.com and AFF are scams.

The biggest shame as Alt.com/AFF bought Bondage.com and closed it down. It had the largest chatroom community.

Many other sites follow this model, like Femdom Dating, which also fills your mailbox with messages trying to get you to pay so you can read them. And all of them are from hot young women, by their photo, looking for a slave to worshi8p them, although they live thousands of miles from you, are young enough to be your daughter, and won't reply to your messages, since they do not really exist.

As for legit sites,

Fetster.com is new and has potential. It is primarily younger people however. So if you are much over 30 you may not generate much interest. Church of Chains uses the same interface, but I do not know if they are at all related. 35 and under almost exclusively.

Kinkylove.com is mainly a photo site, like a tumblr blog. It too is mainly younger people, but many appear to be real and there is a large number with dating profiles. It is international, mainly Dom Male and sub females but there are the opposite orientations too.

FETLIFE

Fetlife is clearly the best option. But as someone pointed out, no one messages you. This is not a personal ad site, it is a community. The majority of the people there already have someone and are not "looking for love."

There are a zillion more males than females on all these sites, frankly. And if you are a submissive male there are 10 zillion for every eligible female. So you have work cut out for you if you expect to be noticed at all.

But if you are a dominant male looking for more than playing in the semi-public scene with women who are already attached but allowed to "play," you are also facing extreme odds.

Most of the single submissive females on Fetlife who are not under 25 range from extremely overweight to obese. I realize that is now the status quo in American society, but it is simply a fact that height and weight proportional people on Fetlife, who are single and looking for someone, are perhaps THE smallest population, um so to speak.

COLLARSPACE

Unlike Fetlife, Collarspace is really all about hooking up, finding significant others, or additions to one's collection of subs, ployhousholds etc. The community aspect on the forums and chatrooms are but a sideline.

This is smaller than Fetlife, and yes it is full of pro dommes. But there are also lifestyle dommes.

On the whole it is mainly leather oriented, Master/slave stuff. But occasionally there are more domestic FLR and spanko types.

Collarpace has a percentage of fake "findommes" i.e. young girls who are under the delusion men will throw money at them for no reason whatsoever. And some older women who are under the same delusion.

It is pretty easy to tell the real people from the wishful thinking prostitutes.

Dominant men dominant the population. So do not expect a submissive woman to reply to even the most appropriate and polite message. They get far too many messages to be able to read all of them. But if you make an effort to search for newest members often you may get a foot in door before they are swamped with replies.

They do have chatrooms, but regardless of your BDSM orientation you have to be up for hours of small talk about the weather if you hope to be accepted and possibly get to know someone.

iPUNISHMENT

ipunishment is a free spanking-oriented community. It runs like Facebook. While it does have people seeking others, it is not the main objective and there is no way to search for new members or search by dominant or submissive orientation. So when you browse members, you see all the women in alphabetical order and no indication of who joined when, who is currently active, etc.

COLLARNCUFFS

This is Dominant Female - submissive male ONLY. But they do a good job keeping the findomme fakes out and also the pervy subs who are just on there for cheap thrills.

If you are near an urban center you may have more luck through the personals of Craigslist.




I kid you not but I am on fetlife and I promise you I'm 25 and def not obese or have a very large figure

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/05/13 02:20pm
By: Anonymous

What about LeatherDating.com?

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/05/19 11:59am
By: Anonymous

What about leatherdating.com?


I just tried to sign up, my email address is not acceptable.

This means it is the same site I already belong to, just with a different name.

This is a major issue - ALMOST ALL of the kink or femdom or bdsm related dating sites do this. The owners have several sites with different names and addresses that use the exact same database with the exact same profiles, and they leave profiles on for years whose owners have abandoned long ago, and say the person hasn't been there in two weeks or a few weeks, when they haven't been there for four years.

So depressing.

As to the woman who responded about being on Fet, 25, and not obese. I did not say ALL single women on Fet are overweight, just a majority. And the farther one gets from 25, like into the 40s and 50s it is almost everyone.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/05/27 09:52pm
By: Anonymous

I'd love to know what kind of drugs you guys are taking.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/05/27 09:54pm
By: Anonymous

Collarspace? They send you to Alt.com to signup. Then the info you give Alt.com doesn't work for Collarspace.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/09/03 02:52pm
By: Anonymous

Is that the same if one is a switch?

Quote by: Anonymous

The kink scene is not like "vanilla" dating. There are not huge numbers of people and it is a long process to find the right people.

Definitely join both fetlife and collarme but keep expectations in check.

Collarme has relatively few women and a majority of those are pro dommes. It is worth being on there, though, and it is free.

Fetlife is a must. Everyone who is serious about kink is on it. It really is the facebook of the kink world. It does not have a search function that works for dating. However, you can join groups with a local focus and groups focused on kinks that interest you. You will find out about local events and regional/national events. If you post in the forums on fetlife it gives you the chance to engage intellectually with people, which can lead to meetings.

However, most kinky people have to get out to events. Look for local events. There are also some big kink events that are great if you can afford to travel. Some I can recommend are those run by Dark Odyssey and Frolicon.

if you are a submissive male, your first experiences will almost certainly be with professionals. There are few dominant women and many submissive men and the odds are incredibly against you. If you are hot, you may get some free play at parties and events. If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play. Starting with pros can gain you credibility; most dommes don't want to waste time on total newbies. But a male submissive has to network relentlessly to get free play and/or find a relationship.Also work on your career. To be completely honest, dommes are spoled and a male submissive with little money has little chance with them.

If you are a dominant the odds are less daunting, though still against you. Go to events to learn techniques and develop a reputation in the community as a safe player and a decent guy. (Dominant does not = asshole.) Once you build that reputation the women will come to you.


Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/10/26 05:38pm
By: Anonymous

Fetlife has kept me busy for some time. No, it's not a dating site but there are ISO groups you can put ads on and connect.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/12/05 05:19am
By: Anonymous

I advise Fetish.com! very respectful community and lot of good profile! I started to chat and I have to stay with one girl to try new fetish interest... Wink
I recommended it for any kinkster and bdsm people who are looking for interesting profile and website! Smile
Have a good day

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/12/21 01:05am
By: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

I made an account for "perversions.com" because some bogus review site said it's good for BDSM people, then it turns out to actually be a website called eroticads.com, which I searched and had several bogus reviews, then I found actual user reviews that verified everything is bogus.

ANYWAY, I can find normal women offline easy, but where do I find women into BDSM or fetish-related stuff? It seems inappropriate to post that on normal dating sites. The biggest fetish/BDSM community, fetlife, isn't a dating site and there is not a search engine designed to find matches.

I don't know what to do. I'm young, fit, everything good, but I don't know where to advertise myself where my type of women will see me.




Well on fet if you join groups they have regular meet ups and they are into kink so if you join one of them you can take your chance in person
I’m on fet too

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/12/21 06:19am
By: Anonymous

Actually, Fetlife is still the best bet for you. I happen to have been on there since about a year after it started, and I currently "own" a number of groups, where some of your answers can be found.

Two of those are Classified Advertising groups, sort of a Brother Sister pair of groups, where they are complimentary, one for Dom males only and one for female subs only.

I started assisting, the founding owner of those pair of groups, as a moderator, many years ago, and some years later, when he died, I ended up being asked by his widow to take over the ownership of the groups.

The total membership in that pair of groups is now over 20,000, actually, I just checked and the total for the pair is now 20.293.

(6,021 males, and 14,272 females)
There are a lot of very strict rules in those two groups, and I am on there very often, daily at least, sometimes more per day.

Location has to be shown at the beginning of the ads, and other things, such as NO *censored* pictures. Many other thing are also helping make these two groups very popular, such as no flaming, harassment, putting people down, and the women are very highly protected in these two groups. As a result the ration of women to men advertising in my groups reflects the popularity with the women.

If you go to my personal profile on Fetlife, and look down the left side, you will see I also own a number of other Classified Ads Groups, some of which are open to other outlooks, other than limited to just pure dom men seeking sub women. But I do not "work/supervise" those as much.

Here are the names and links for the two most popular of my Classified Ads Groups.

Classified! female sub Types Seeking Male Dom Types
https://fetlife.com/groups/19040

Classified! Male Dom Types Seeking female sub Types
https://fetlife.com/groups/19039

This last one above, is THE ONE you want to run YOUR ad in.
DO NOT put your male ad in the women's group, because you will get DELETED and BANNED from all my groups.
READ THE RULES carefully, before you post your ad.
These rules are WHY these groups are soo popular with women who join and run their ads in my groups.

My personal profile on Fetlife is;
TortureCrucifyWhip 80M Sadist
Tucson, Arizona, United States
https://fetlife.com/users/801408

My first profile on Fetlife was, and still is:
MasterSeth 80M Master
Tucson, Arizona, United States
https://fetlife.com/users/140998
(This profile is still open, and refers people to the newer one, so people can find me by the name I am most widely known as, "Master Seth"Wink

More people in this world know me as Master Seth, than my real name which is Robert Ernest Wadlow, same name as the tallest man on record, my 6th cousin, who died in the 1940's, Robert Pershing Wadlow.

I also have a personal website, (http://master-seth.com/HomePage.html). On the Home page, you can find all my contact information, phone for texting, email address, etc.

Most of it is not kept up to date, but the Educational Page (http://master-seth.com/TheGSpotandMore.html) is pretty up to date. It is the required reading for my students on my teaching of Female Anatomy.

Good luck in your search.

Seth of Tucson

However, on the home page, listed above, you can find my

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2018/12/21 06:27am
By: Anonymous

I am also very active, with several profiles, on CollarSpace, which used to be called CollarMe.com.

But that website is VERY Poorly run, maintained, and many of the functions have been eliminated, I guess to streamline the loads on the website servers, but it is just a ghost of it's prior self.

It does have search abilities, which Fetlife does not have.
But there are a high percent of fakes, money seekers, travel money scammers, etc. And I have noticed that, in the case of member in Arizona, the same group of women are on there all the time, never go away, which leads me to believe some of those are just "bait profiles" created by the website, and designed to keep people coming back.

I have been a daily active member there since 2009, so I have a very deep understanding of how that website runs.

I have, very rarely, actually seen someone on there who I know in the local BDSM lifestyle. So I know there are at least some legitimate profiles on there.

Good luck
Master Seth,
Seth of Tucson.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/01/04 12:57am
By: Anonymous

I don't think there is one but what worked with me is entering normal dating or marriage & list in my info couple of my dark desires & it worked some girls contact me up on it
I tried these approach in my any marriage or dating site some will not accept it
but you can write it a very different way so that only people familiar with BDSM will know it

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/01/10 06:35pm
By: Anonymous

I have a feeling that all these sites listed on this forum makes one super moron. On one site it is impossible to specify sex of the partner, on the other it is not possible to register because does not accept mail, on the third something hangs, etc. It is amazing that for such a popular theme no one can create a normal thematic social network

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/01/25 02:15am
By: Anonymous

I'm a male sub and have gone through adult friend finder, alt.com, bdsmdate.com, and a few others. I don't have any real revelations but thought I'd toss in my recent, and on-going experience. The scammers are just never ending. Alt.com is the worst! A few pointers for those unaware. You can use google image search or tineye (or others) to perform a reverse image search. Well, most scammers are so obvious anyway, often can't even type a profile that makes any sense. Poor grammar or weird word usage or obvious giveaways. Or just use common sense - A 22yr hot blonde is NOT going to be a femdom on some BDSM site. If you create a second fake account and just do nothing with it you'll see all the scammer messages roll in. Just another method to quickly weed people out. Members that provide their email address in the first conversation are clearly fake. My suggestion is very early on just state that you will not provide money or personal information until a video chat or face/face happens.

Frankly, the whole BDSM online dating experience has been VERY depressing. I'm not claiming to be Brad Pitt but I'm a 44-yr old jacked guy. And it's a challenge just to get a response from someone that is "potentially" a real user.

Hope you have better luck than me!

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/05/09 09:42am
By: Anonymous

The hell with fetlife! Go go go go on Fetish.com! Wink You can search all you want for people who best suit your interests! I'm there and I'm really surprised!

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/06/07 02:33am
By: Anonymous

The only thing that I can say is stay the heck away from SMcult. I got scammed once and attempted scammed several more times, although there are a few legit women on the site. Biggest problem though, is they used my real name for my profile name and would not let me change it and then when I tried (still trying) to have my profile removed, they just won’t.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/06/12 07:58am
By: Anonymous

So

I have just launched as of May 2019 an alternative lifestyle dating site. I have been looking for a Slave for ever, over five years now and i am thinking the best site for this would be collarspace.com were it not so rubbish. So yeah I am making my own equivalent and would appreciate your support. You can sign up here

https://pervirtue.com/

My biggest objectives are active profiles and about as many women as men on it..

Do have a look at it, sign up and feed back on site. Try to be active and once you find a mate or not, your account will be deleted if you do not log in every three months.

Good luck.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/08/26 02:25am
By: Anonymous

Having been down the paths mentioned (many of those same BDSM site memberships), and having experienced the frustrations listed (very slim odds for the single guy), I ended up on "OK Cupid." It is a site mostly made up of straight people looking for serious relationships but, if you explore it carefully, you will find a lot of people who are clearly interested in BDSM--it's a question you're asked when you join, and you can search the site for answers to all the survey questions. "Do you like anal sex...a) all the time, b) just when I'm feeling spunky..." etc. I was on OKC for about two years and met several other members in real life. Then, I met...the ONE. She was just "wading in" to the "lifestyle," she said. But it turned out, she more like, trained for Olympic diving! She's cute, successful in career and life, sexy and nasty as hell. Yup. I found love and lust, on OK Cupid! Check it out. Be subtle. Answer a LOT of those survey questions, honestly, and you might just find what you've been looking for.

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/09/06 03:27am
By: Anonymous

forget collarspace or collarme. they are same as alt.com ... they never care people or bdsm society. if you try to be member you have to wait at least 8 months to can be approved. hundreds new members waiting and sending for feedback any answer why they are not approved sitll since 2018!!! but nobody care or give any reason to you.. collarspace dosent feel or care any respect , responsbility for their familiy.. i m regret i tried may be 20 comments to forums supports adress. but there s notting you can find any email also... its like trap tehy took your informations but they never open or visible your profile in the site... fetlife is good you can be member at the same day and can connect to people get hundreds friends in 2 days... but collarspace never visit forgot this fake liars... it should be forget collarspace cos they makes you angry and regret after 8 months...

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/10/11 03:50pm
By: Anonymous

So collarspace links to alt.com... no good reports on that one.
And fetlife is broken... can't get past verification.....

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/10/12 12:02am
By: Anonymous

Fetlife is working fine, I am on it daily, do a lot of work on my groups there. What is your problem with it???


Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/10/14 06:10pm
By: Anonymous

Hello everybody ❤
If you feel alone and want to find new friends or a serious relationship, then our dating site is the best place for you.
Register and start your communication in a few minutes.
Link to the site https://loveinchat.com/?pid=313

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/10/16 04:02am
By: OfClerk

I use KinkD for a while. He was created for BDSM people. It's only me that used it, we did it both with my partner - we search for a third person to join us. Better said we searched, because we found her already. She is a cashier in a local store, saw her a couple of times but would have never thought that she was part of our community if not finding her in that app. Now we have regular threesome sex, without needing to find another girl.
https://datingappsadvice.com/kinkd-dating-app-review-bdsm-dating-life.app

Re: Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

Posted on: 2019/10/30 09:59am
By: Anonymous

Quote by: Anonymous

Try Collarspace.com, large dating site, and Fetlife.com, the latter will give you information about local events as well , amongst other things.

Be careful, a lot of ignorant people and some scammers on Collar Space. Stay safe.

Fetlife is more like facebook for kinksters, with a lot of bells and whistles. it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting.

IMO both sites are free and safe for signup.

Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. you may laugh, but many guys still do that.

second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. Don't just go "hey i want this and that, and you are sub, so you have to give it to me. " that will get you blocked. THese are not just kinksters, they are PEOPLE .

Good luck.

Mistymouse ( my nym on either site)




First collarspace was great once upon a time but the people running it are useless and absent. I changed a few things in my profile like my age and some updated changes in my life and situation. And 3 months later still waiting for an approval and cant message or do anything really. Its absurdly poorly managed. Fet life's biggest flaw for me is no way to search for local people for those of us actually seeking something real if they added a local search by state gender (orientations) option it would become the perfect site. But for me personally without that its useles for my needs

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