Communication

Were you wondering who is most likely to reach out to you over social media or an online dating app? Social network and dating app Skout has combed its database to discover the types of people who appear to be the most social, at least online.

Not surprisingly, tall men are not only desirable, but also more sociable. According to Skout's data, the number of online friendships men have increases with their height. Short men (under 5’6”) have, on average, online connections with 11 people. Men of average height (between 5’10” and 6’) have, on average, online connections with 16 people, whereas tall men (over 6’3”) have an average of 17 online connections. (Note: Skout defines an online connection as a conversation initiated by one Skouter who receives at least one response from the other person. There could be additional conversations with the same person, but it would still be included as one connection.)

Women trend the opposite when it comes to height. Short women – under 4’11” – average online connections with 33 people, whereas tall women (over 6’) average online connections with less than half -  only 14 people. So ladies, if you are petite – you are in demand online!

An interesting finding that runs contrary to online dating stereotypes is that women who describe themselves as “curvy” or have “more to love” tend to be more socially active than their thin counterparts (28 connections on average, compared to 20 respectively). So if you’re thinking about dismissing or hiding your curves in your online dating profile, it is worth your while instead to show them off, reach out to people, and make more connections.

Bigger men however don’t fare so well. Men who say they are “athletic” and “muscular” are the most popular -  averaging connections with 19 people, whereas men who say they are “large,” “solid” or have “more to love” average online connections with only 14 people.

Age plays a role in most daters’ sociability, too. On average, 18-20 year-old who are just starting out in the dating game are very sociable online, with an average of 14 connections per person for women and 7 for men. People start coupling up or feeling jaded by the time they hit their twenties and into their thirties, with fewer connections than ever. By the time people reach their forties, they have picked up the pace again, and tend to have the highest number of connections – 16 on average per person for women and 8 for men.

The study was compiled over a six-month period with over one million Skout users in the U.S.

Before you start looking for the perfect lighting situation for your online dating photo shoot, or try a lot of make-up before you snap the picture, you might want to reconsider. A new study found that while your photo may appear more attractive when it’s “enhanced,” if you’re a woman, you likely won’t be trusted.

Researchers at the University of Connecticut conducted an experiment to determine how people judged each other based on their online dating profile photos. They asked 153 straight men and 152 straight women, ages 17 to 36, to look at one of four pictures – each looked at both enhanced and unenhanced pictures of the same person.

Both men and women thought the enhanced photos made the dater considerably more attractive. But men tended to assume that the enhanced female photos were hiding something, and that they couldn’t be trusted. The women on the other hand felt the guys who were enhanced were more likeable and trustworthy – creating a “halo effect” if you will.

While the new study looked at online dating specifically, it seems to corroborate what happens in the real world when people are checking each other out in person.

According to Today.com, the new research provides more evidence of how makeup can change people's perceptions of a woman's character. Alex Jones, a postdoctoral research associate at Gettysburg College who was not involved in the study, told the morning show website: "Attractive people are not always seen in a positive light. Attractive women seem particularly vulnerable to these judgments and cosmetics use is one area where harsher judgments are given to women."

Interestingly, the study also pointed to a lack of concern among men: “males found the beautified profile as more attractive and had a higher desire to date the person in the picture despite the lower degree of trustworthiness they reported," the authors noted. So even though the men didn’t trust the women who enhanced their photos, they did have a desire to date them anyway.

On the flip side, women seemed to trust men more when they had enhanced their photos, assuming that personality traits would match their looks.

Why did women find the guys with beautiful photos more appealing and trustworthy? It seems that this mirrors real life – women tend to fantasize about what they desire, assuming that a man who presents well is also going to be great boyfriend material. Unfortunately, in real life, you can’t know if someone is trustworthy until you get to know them – therefore, it’s fantasy to assume someone might be great based on an enhanced photo.

The researchers will present their findings at the conference of the International Communication Association in San Juan, Puerto Rico from May 21-25.

If you've spent any amount of time using dating sites or apps, you've come across this issue: the one-line compliment intro. “You're amazing.” “You're beautiful.” “Ur so hot.”

You've either received these messages, sent these messages, or read dating advice that warns against them. They're not the worst opening lines – it gets far stranger and more graphic – but they're hardly the most inspiring.

So what's a woman to do when she receives one? If you're Claire Boniface, a 20-year-old college student, you simply start agreeing.

She posted on Tumblr that she's “doing a social experiment” she simply calls “agreeing with boys when they compliment you.” Instead of expressing gratitude when she received praise, she politely agreed with the sentiments. You can probably guess how it's been going.

Responses are often negative, with men retracting their original compliments. Boniface told The Huffington Post she thinks the negative reactions have "a lot to do with how some men believe that they have the power to tell women what they are, without considering that women have already acknowledged this themselves."

"They don't know what to do when a woman isn't grateful for their comments and so they take away the compliment as if this will change anything," she added.

Gweneth Batemen, an 18-year-old from the UK, shared Boniface's Tumblr post on Twitter and encouraged her followers to consider what it says about the way women are treated on the internet. She began responding to complimentary messages in a similar fashion, and also received hostile results.

"Many responses state how 'vain' and 'conceited' I was for agreeing with their compliment which I found baffling," Bateman said. "Why give me the compliment in the first place if you didn't want me to believe it?”

Even though Batemen attempted to continue the conversations – either by asking how the other person was doing or even by returning the compliment – she still received belligerent replies.

She speculates that some men feel women should base their self-worth off the opinions of the opposite sex, so “as soon as a woman realizes that she's awesome without their help they get incredibly angry."

On Tumblr, 22-year-old student Katie Smith added: “For many men, beauty, coolness, [and] desirability are gifts they alone can bestow upon women. They get baffled, even aggressive when you show you’ve known you possess those things all along.”

It's ok for women to doubt compliments they receive, but they're considered rude or vain when they actually believe what they're told. Anyone else see something wrong with this? Experiments like these won't fix the issue, but spreading awareness is a step in the right direction.

Now that Tinder has announced the integration of Instagram into its dating app, daters might become more self-conscious about posting selfies or an abundance of food photos. After all, if someone’s interested in your profile and wants to look further, it gives him/her more reason to judge you and move on.

That can be pretty stressful to your low-key dating style on Tinder. But if you are watching what you post – and want to put your best face forward, so to speak – then you might want to consider these tips about the kind of photos to avoid posting.

No drunk shots. It might seem festive to include a picture of you downing that margarita for Cinco de Mayo, but it might make your dates wonder if you party too much. Avoid polarizing potential dates based on a few weekend nights out having fun – find activities that represent who you are in your normal, every day life.

Keep group photos out. If you post a group photo, not only will potential dates wonder which one you are, but they are more likely to want to date your friends. Don’t fall into this trap – everyone has friends, so there’s no reason to promote it, and if you want to show off how attractive yours are, it will backfire.

Ease up on duck faces. The rise of the selfie has also resulted in the popularity of making duck faces at the camera. While you might rock your pout, don’t advertise it on Tinder. People don’t want to see your Kylie Jenner impression, they want to know who you are and what you really look like. Also, try smiling instead.

No posing with celebrities or ultra nice objects, like sports cars. I know you’re proud of that photo you took with George Clooney, or that you just bought a new car. Please don’t pose next to them for your Tinder photos. This is really screaming to potential dates: “I’m desperate for attention.”

Include a body shot. If you have nothing but shots of your face, people will make assumptions about what you’re not posting – your body. They might assume you’re hiding something, or you’ve lied about your weight or appearance in some way. Don’t let this happen. Be straightforward, and try to have a little fun with it.

Avoid all those photos of your pet and/or your food. You've heard this before, but please avoid posting all those pics of your adorable dog or cat making faces, sleeping, cuddling, whatever. Show these to your friends, not your potential dates. The same goes for food, no matter how artfully you’ve captured that plate of sushi. Endless pictures of food doesn’t tell your date anything about who you are, what you like, or how you spend time – except that you like to eat pretty things. The focus of your profile should be you.

For more about this dating app you can take a look at our Tinder review.

I'm the optimistic sort, but in the face of online dating, even my normally unshakable optimism can start to quiver.

It's not that online dating is bad – far from it – but it isn't always easy. If you've been slogging through dead-end date after dead-end date, online dating might feel like a quick fix for a dull love life. You basically just put up a profile and go shopping for a significant other, right? How hard can it be to swipe until someone tickles your fancy?

Optimist Me says you might get lucky. You could come across someone who's perfect partner material right away and be an instant online dating success story. On the other hand, Realist Me knows those stories are rare, and you'll probably have your fair share of dating fails before you meet your dream date.

The hard part is not getting discouraged when you're in the failure stage. If there's anything that guarantees you won't be an online dating success story, it's giving up on online dating. It will have its hard moments, but it will also have its rewarding ones. Set your expectations accordingly by accepting these 4 online dating truths:

1. Eventually you will run into someone you know. Even in a big city, this feels like an inevitability. It could be a Facebook friend. It could be a co-worker. It could even be a sibling. Try not to feel too awkward and move on. It's pretty much a fact of modern life that this will happen and everyone just has to get used to it.
2. You will be ghosted. You've met someone you're into. You share a few messages back and forth, things seem like they're going well, and then... the person disappears, never to be heard from again. Is it polite? No. But is it the price of doing online dating business? Yes. It will happen, and when it does, you have to let it go and move on.
3. Photos will lie. Everyone knows this is a risk with online dating, yet we still act surprised when it happens. Most people online are genuine, but there are plenty who use filters, strategic angles, careful lighting, and years-old photos to appear younger or more attractive. You'll get burned at some point, and the only response is to pick yourself up and carry on.
4. A 99% match could be meaningless. Fancy algorithms sound like the key to Dating 2.0, but at the end of the day it's just guesswork. No algorithm (yet) gets it right all the time. Chemistry just isn't quantifiable. Dating sites do the best they can, but don't let it get you down if a person you thought was perfect on paper doesn't hold up in person.

Are you on Tinder? Chances are, you’re also a member of a traditional online dating site – and many of you are paying for the service. According to a recent survey by Global Web Index, 70% of Tinder users also use an online dating site – and the majority are accessing all dating sites through their phones (58%).

Tinder has changed the online dating market in a big way – more people are participating, simply because Tinder has helped online dating lose its stigma by providing a low-intensity, game-like experience. It’s much easier to swipe left and right according to potential matches' looks, and have Facebook and Instagram photos populate your profile without having to do much. It takes the pressure off of the whole experience, plus it’s free unless you upgrade to Tinder Plus.

However, many people who use Tinder want to add to their online dating experience, and therefore join paid sites like Match.com along with other online dating sites, paid or free (although most free online dating services are moving to a tiered premium service model to create more revenue).

Global Web Index found some interesting statistics in their study – including the fact that 31% of those surveyed used an online dating site in the last month, but only 1% used Tinder. Six percent used a location-based dating app, which means people are looking for other alternatives to Tinder, even in the dating app market.

Obtaining revenue from Tinder Plus could be an obstacle for the company. According to Global Web Index, only 14% of online dating site users as a whole pay for a service, while 24% of Tinder users pay for an online dating site (which makes it seem likely they wouldn't also pay for Tinder). And more than a third of dating app users say they use ad-blocking software, which means premium services like Tinder Plus have to come up with compelling features to attract paying clients, in addition to promising an ad-free experience. Perhaps this is why the company is placing limits on its free service, restricting the number of profiles a user can look at each day – to get people to invest in the paid service.

One last interesting statistic from the study: men outnumber women on Tinder 6 to 4, so ladies are definitely at an advantage using the app. However, although half of Tinder users are single, a substantial amount (30%) are married, and another 12% consider themselves in a relationship – even though they are on Tinder.

So if you decide to use Tinder, it’s a safe bet that your online dating experience will be enhanced if you decide to invest in another service as well.