4 Truths About Online Dating You Have To Accept

  • Saturday, May 23 2015 @ 10:42 am
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I'm the optimistic sort, but in the face of online dating, even my normally unshakable optimism can start to quiver.

It's not that online dating is bad – far from it – but it isn't always easy. If you've been slogging through dead-end date after dead-end date, online dating might feel like a quick fix for a dull love life. You basically just put up a profile and go shopping for a significant other, right? How hard can it be to swipe until someone tickles your fancy?

Optimist Me says you might get lucky. You could come across someone who's perfect partner material right away and be an instant online dating success story. On the other hand, Realist Me knows those stories are rare, and you'll probably have your fair share of dating fails before you meet your dream date.

The hard part is not getting discouraged when you're in the failure stage. If there's anything that guarantees you won't be an online dating success story, it's giving up on online dating. It will have its hard moments, but it will also have its rewarding ones. Set your expectations accordingly by accepting these 4 online dating truths:

  1. Eventually you will run into someone you know. Even in a big city, this feels like an inevitability. It could be a Facebook friend. It could be a co-worker. It could even be a sibling. Try not to feel too awkward and move on. It's pretty much a fact of modern life that this will happen and everyone just has to get used to it.
  2. You will be ghosted. You've met someone you're into. You share a few messages back and forth, things seem like they're going well, and then... the person disappears, never to be heard from again. Is it polite? No. But is it the price of doing online dating business? Yes. It will happen, and when it does, you have to let it go and move on.
  3. Photos will lie. Everyone knows this is a risk with online dating, yet we still act surprised when it happens. Most people online are genuine, but there are plenty who use filters, strategic angles, careful lighting, and years-old photos to appear younger or more attractive. You'll get burned at some point, and the only response is to pick yourself up and carry on.
  4. A 99% match could be meaningless. Fancy algorithms sound like the key to Dating 2.0, but at the end of the day it's just guesswork. No algorithm (yet) gets it right all the time. Chemistry just isn't quantifiable. Dating sites do the best they can, but don't let it get you down if a person you thought was perfect on paper doesn't hold up in person.