Tips

As an update to this article, Instant Messenger Dictionary for Online Daters I have a number of more terms and Acronyms that singles using dating sites may come across. This slang will most likely appear in emails, instant messaging and chatting between members of dating sites. Singles who are new to online dating personals and online chat in general will find this article about dating jargon most useful. Even us supposed experts forget some of the net lingo from time to time and have to look it up. Some of this dating lingo can mean several different things, but we have listed here the most popular definition as it relates to online dating. Keep in mine the capitalization of letters is important and can mean different things if changed.

2NITE - Tonight
420 - Marijuana
ADR or addy - Address
AFK - Away from Keyboard.
A - Asian
B - Black
B4N - Bye for Now.
B&D - Bondage and Domination.
BBL - Be Back Later.
BI - Bi Sexual
BBW - Big Beautiful Woman.
BHM - Big Husky or Heavy Man.
C - Christian
C-P - Sleepy
CWYL - Chat with you later.
D - Divorced
D&S - Dominance and Submission
Dom - Dominant
DDF or DD free - Drug and Disease Free.
DWM - Divorced White Male.
Ebony - Used by white men looking for a interracial relationships with a black women.
F - Female
F2F - Face to face.
FWB - Friends with benefits, a casual sexual relationship.
G - Gay
GSOH - Good sense of humor.
GTG - Got to go.
H - Hispanic
HWP - Height Weight Proportional
ILU or ILY or 143 - I love you.
ISO - In Search Of.
IWSN - I want sex now.
J - Jewish
K - Kiss for you.
KOTL - Kiss on the lips.
L - Lesbian
LD - Light Drinker
LMIRL - Let's meet in real life.
LS - Light Smoker or Legally Separated.
LTR - Long Term Relationship.
M8 - Mate
M - Male
MBA - Married But Available.
MM - Marriage Minded.
MorF - Male or Female.
NALOPKT - Not a lot of people know that.
NBM - Never Been Married.
ND - Non Drinker
NIFOC - Nude in front of computer.
NS - Non Smoker
NSA - No Strings Attached. Refers to either being single and/or no kids.
OLL - Online Love
OTP - On the Phone.
P - Professional
PC - Prince Charming.
QT - Cutie
RUMORF - Are you male or female?
S - Single
SBM - Single Black Male.
SBF or SBW - Single Black Female, Single Black Woman.
SD - Social Drinker
SI - Similar Interests.
S&M or S/M - Sado and Masochism.
SMIM - Send me an Instant Messager.
SMEM - Send me an E-Mail.
SO - Significant Other.
SOH - Sense of Humor.
SorG - Single or Gay.
Sub - Submissive
SWF - Single White Female.
TDH - Tall, Dark, and Handsome.
TDTM - Talk dirty to me.
TIAIL - Think I am in love.
TIC - Tongue in Cheek.
W - White or Widowed if in first position, as in WHM (Widowed Hispanic Male).
WE - Well Endowed.
WTR - Willing To Relocate.
WUF - Where are you from?
WYCM - Will you call me?
WYRN - What's your real name?
YO - Years Old.

Welcome to another article in our top ten series. The focus of this dating service article will be on the benefits of online dating when compared to dating in the traditional sense.

1. Cheaper - Before online dating, most singles went to a a bar or dance club to try and meet other singles. While this is fun, it is a hard way for a lot of people to meet someone. To succeed this way you need an outgoing personality. Plus, you do not get an accurate representation of meeting someone new in a noisy, busy environment. For the cost of going out for a single night (taxi, drinks, food, etc...) you could get at least a 6 month membership on most popular dating sites.
   
2. Faster - Meeting someone online is a lot faster than traditional dating. Just login to your online dating site and perform a few simple searches to bring up your potential matches. From here, if they are online, try sending them an instant message request or your could write a personal email that is tailored to the individual.
   
3. Dating Safety - This is important. When using your typical dating site, all mail and communication remains anonymous. This means that the person you are communicating with will know your screen name (nick name) but will not know your real name, phone number and address until you decided when and if this is the right person to give this information too.
   
4. Dating Site Security - Say you started mailing or chatting to someone online and you found out he or she turned out to be a real pain and now they will not leave you alone. In online dating this is not a major problem. Most dating sites allow you to block members from appearing in your search results, sending you mail and chatting to you. This is usually as easy as clicking on the block button that appears next to their name in the search results or on their profile detail page. If you need too, you can always go a step further and report them to the dating site customer support.
   
5. The Number of Singles - When using an online dating service you have access to potentially millions of singles from your home computer. It all depends on your search criteria and how far you are willing to travel.
   
6. Initiating Contact - It is easier to send a carefully composed email than walking up to someone to initiate contact at a bar. Plus, you know when the person is reading your mail he or she is actively looking to meet someone online.
   
7. Get to know the person - With a reasonable degree of accuracy you have a great deal of information about the person instantly. You will have such information as their interests, location, education, description and most likely a photo. Plus, you will have such deal breaker details such as if the person is interested in having children, if they smoke and their religious preferences. This type of information hardly ever comes up in the first few times of meeting new people using traditional dating methods. You also get to communicate with this person remotely as long as you want until you decide if you want to go on a date.
   
8. Everyone is Available - Who joins a dating service unless they want to meet someone. Going out to a bar or a club to meet singles for dating can be successful but most likely less than half the people at these places are there to meet someone to create a relationship. They may be there just for a good time with their friends.
   
9. Meeting New People - With dating online meeting new people is a snap. If you find yourself always dating the same type of people and it's not working out, online dating allows you to easily search for people with different interests and personalities, who says opposites attract!
   
10. Rejection - Face to face rejection is hard. In online dating a simple email stating "No, I am not interested." is a lot easier to receive plus it is expected that not all the profiles you mail may be interested in you. These dating site members may already be talking to someone or possibly something in your profile may have not interested them .

When you use online dating correctly and with all the benefits listed here, you will almost always succeed in finding someone to date and maybe share the rest of your life together.

There are 2 main types of dating sites free memberships.

There is the free trial membership that has limited features. The main feature of this free membership type is, it remains available for you as long as the dating service is in business. You are allowed to log in and create a profile and upload pictures and most likely video of yourself. You also are allowed to search for other members and to see what matches the dating service suggest are compatible with you. What they don't tell you in big flashing letters is that you cannot communicate with any other members. These dating services usually allow you access to all the features of the dating site except the communicate features. You probably will be able to access your mail account and view any mail, winks (hugs, kisses or what ever they call the introduce yourself, I am interested in you dating one-liners) sent to you but you cannot reply back. The online dating service hopes with this type membership is that:

1. You will be hooked on the free unlimited trial period.
2. You will be impressed by the layout of the dating sites and the features they offer.
3. You will find someone you want to communicate with.
4. Someone has sent you a message you want to reply too.

If you meet one or more of these points, you will most likely want to then sign up for a paid membership that will allow you too communicate with other single members online.

The second free trial membership type is a full access membership with a time limit. These memberships include access to all parts of the dating site that normal paid members have access too. The only major difference is, you are usually limited to a 3 or 7 day time period. This is enough time to check out all the features of the dating service such as, online chatting, searching through their members for possible matches and maybe even starting a few mail conversations (it does take time for people to reply to their mail since a fair number of people tend to use the dating sites only on the weekend when they have time). One thing to watch for is that about half of the dating services (in my experiences) require a credit card for these type of free memberships. Once the time trial is up, they then start to bill you as a paid member unless you make a request after you have signed up to cancel your membership. Dating services that use this type of free trial memberships in my opinion tend to have a more accurate members list since these canceled members profiles are usually removed from the system.

How to choose a dating membership? First off you have to make sure that the dating site you found is the dating site you want to spend your hard earned money on. The best way to do this is, to signup for a free trial that, most self respecting online dating sites offer. These free trial periods usually range from 3 to 7 days and will give you ample time to search for and view their dating members profiles. Most of these sites free trials will let you do everything the site offers except communicate with their members.

If you found at least a few members in your area that you would like to exchange mail or chat with you may want to purchase a membership but, if this is you first dating site you are trying, it may be a good idea to check a few other recommended dating sites free trials just to see how their members profiles suit you. I find that certain types of members tend to migrate to certain sites and it may take joining a few dating sites to find the right site for you. To find sites that may be best suited for you take a look at our Reviews section which is divided up into over 8 different categories that singles may be looking for.

So you have found the site you want to pay for, good. Most dating sites offer a 1 month (reoccurring membership), 3 month, 6 month and 12 month memberships. The 1 month membership usually automatically renews itself at the end of each month unless you notify them within a certain time period not too (usually 7 days). Depending on the dating site, the 3 month membership may do this as well so always read your "Terms of Service" for the dating site you are joining. On a per month basis the 1 month membership will always be the most expensive, followed by the 3, 6 and then the 12 month. Some 12 month memberships, you may be able to save more than 70% off per month when compared to the cost of joining at the 1 month charge. What most people tend to do is join initially for one month. If they find that they do have lots in common with the other members they have found, they will then rejoin for a 3, 6 or 12 month period of time. This will save them money. Joining for 3, 6, or 12 months usually depends on what the member wants get out of a site. If you are joining for friendship or casual dating then the 12 month period will suit you but if you are looking for a committed relationship then you may want to rejoin for only the 3 month period.

So to wrap up if you are looking for new friends and people you share interests, etc. with, you will want to use the dating site for a long while to enjoy the features the site offers, such as chatting, using the forums and emailing your friends. Where as singles looking for a more committed relationship will just be looking for a few people to share experiences with. This would mean that the shorter 3 or 6 month membership will be for you.

Here is our second article in our top ten series. The focus of this dating tip article will be on profiles and the common mistakes that are made when creating them.

1. The Rushed Profile - The first and most common mistake online daters do when creating a profile is they rush it. A lot of singles when going to a dating site tend to create a basic profile quickly when they join because they would rather be searching on the site for other singles than filling in a profile. They have the intention of going back and fix their profile but most never do. They then wonder why no one responds to their profile. You need to put a lot of thought into your profile and it's best to do it right the first time since this is what will reflect you on the site or sites you join. Read through all the questions carefully and answer as many as you can.
   
2. Skipped Essay Questions - Most people hate writing essay questions. The best way to deal with essay questions is take your time to write them using your favorite word processor. This will allow you to have a big page to write on (most sites give you a small box to put your answer) as well as a spell and grammar checker to use. It also allows you to take your time to write your answers and not feel pressure to hit that submit button so you can finish the rest of your profile when you are writing it on a dating site. Most dating sites ask the same 3 basic essay questions. They are General Information, Describe your Appearance and finally, What are you Looking For. Once written, all you have to do is copy and paste your answers into your profile. This is also great if you are using more than one dating site.
   
3. No Pictures - This is probably the worst offender of profile goofs that a single can make. If you expect any winks, kisses or messages on a dating site you MUST include at least one picture (more is better). Studies have shown that having a picture of yourself in your profile increases your chances of a response by up to 10 times.
   
4. Picture Quality - Pictures, Part 2. When you include pictures, make sure the quality is good. It's best to have your main picture to be of just yourself in a fun pose with a smile on your face. You want people to be looking at you, not your surroundings or at other people in the picture. Make sure the picture is of good quality, the proper brightness and no red eye. These things are easy to do if you have a little knowledge of photoshop or you could always take your picture into a photography store and they will digitize it and touch it up for you for a small fee. Your other pictures should be of you having fun and showing off what you like to do in your spare time (with or with out friends)
   
5. The Boring Headline - This is probably one of the hardest thing to write. How do you some up yourself in one sentence and still make it eye catching and sound attractive to the people looking through search results? For best results try including your favorite hobby in your headline in a humorous way. As an example, if you enjoy golf you could say "New York golf gal...looking for a partner".
   
6. Personal Information - Do not include any personal information in your public profile. This would include your real name, your street address (postal code, city, state, country is ok), phone numbers and email addresses. You don't want to give this type of information out until you have at least emailed (using the dating sites anonymous emailer) each other a few times to get a good feeling about the other person. Most people on dating sites are just like you, looking to find someone special but there are a few kooks out there. For more information on dating safety read our first Top 10 article. "10 Tips on having a fun and safe first date."
   
7. Likes & Dislikes - It's pretty obvious to state what you are looking for in a person but you should also mention what you are not looking for. This should be done near the end of the profile. Too much negativity in any profile and especially at the beginning will turn off people right away. As an example, If you hate people smoking (your date killer) and you would never date someone who smokes you should mention this in your profile. Who wants to waste time getting to know someone online, start becoming emotionally attached and then you realize on your first in person date that he or she smokes. You have now wasted a lot of time and energy in this person when a simply statement of "no smokers please" would have prevented him or her from contacting you (You Hope!).
   
8. Honesty - Be honest in all aspects of your profile. In the end, if you are not, you will only be harming yourself by people being disappointed when they don't meet the person portrayed in your profile. That means if you have an average built body, say average and not athletic. Later on in the profile you could include in your essay that you are currently having fun working out in a gym. This shows that you are an active person who is intent on losing those few extra pounds (which most of us have!)
   
9. Talking Jargon - Don't use to much jargon, or you will be cutting out potential single candidates. People tend to skim read profiles pretty fast and if someone is unsure of the acronym you have used to describe yourself or something you do then the person reading will most likely hit the next button. This is not a personal ad you are creating for a newspaper where extra words cost you more money.
   
10. Expectations - This point is similar to number 8, Honesty. Try not to brag in your profile about yourself. As an example, you may be proud of your million dollar house and your new sports car in the garage but you will just attract the wrong type of people, the people who just want you for your money. Instead write that you enjoy a comfortable living. You don't want to create an unrealistic over blown exaggeration of yourself to other singles, in the end it will be you who is disappointed.

Don't be afraid to change your profile around if you are not getting any responses or if you are getting responses but from not the right type of people. Switch your photo or edit your headline and try again. This is not an exact science so it may take a few tries to get it right, good luck!

Lately most dating sites are using a new way to display search results to their single members. The old way was to display the matching profiles to your search request in rows, one after another. They included such information as:

• A Photo if available
• Location (Usually City, State/Province and Country)
• Gender and what gender you are seeking
• Your Age
• Relationship Status
• Your Username
• Headline
• When you were last online

From there you could do a number of things such as view the profile, add to favorites, send a wink and Instant Message (if the single is online). Most dating sites used a variation of this formula.