Profiles

The latest dating app launch is capturing a lot of buzz - and aimed at marketing to the so-called “dating elite.” If you’re single and successful, The League might be the app for you.

The League has gotten attention because of its latest round of funding. Though founder Amanda Bradford was at first looking to raise half a million according to Time Magazine, she has now received $2.1 million from investors looking for the next Tinder – but without, you know – all the low-brow hook-ups.

The League differentiates itself from its competition by offering exclusivity – you have to be accepted into its network. The acceptance algorithm it uses according to Business Insider “scans the social networks to ensure applicants are in the right age group and that they are career-oriented.” The article goes on to say: “That doesn’t mean they have to be Ivy graduates or work for a big-name firm. But they should have accomplished something in their 20s.”

If you are accepted, you are given a limited number of matches each day at 5:00pm, which The League calls “Happy Hour.” You are also given the ability to refer one friend.

The League isn’t the first app to offer more “quality” matches as opposed to the giant dating pool that is Tinder. Hinge is invitation-only, working from your social media circles and offering a limited number of matches per day, as does Coffee Meets Bagel. The difference is that The League utilizes LinkedIn to find matches, avoiding direct contacts (like your boss) and working with those a little further removed. Some have argued that this blurs the line between business and personal, although eHarmony announced earlier this year they would be offering job-matching services to employers and potential employees.

So far, The League has attracted around 4,500 users from San Francisco. Like Hinge, CEO Branford wants to move slowly, city by city, to build her network in a more thoughtful way. She discovered most couples meet through school or work connections, and she wanted to optimize these already-existing networks (hence using LinkedIn for matching). In fact, she is doing much of the business networking herself by attending parties of tech execs in Silicon Valley and fundraisers in San Francisco. She walks around demonstrating her app and offering bracelets with the app’s logo to attendees.

“It isn’t an app for everybody,” Branford told the New York Times. “We’re trying to hit home that…people do have high standards.”

Now here's something you don't see every day: someone who's trying to encourage you to settle.

Well, it's not really a “someone” so much as it's a “something.” A dating site, in fact. And it has the eye-catching name Settle For Love.

Now, before you turn into a self-help coach and start trashing the idea, hear what it's all about. It isn't so much about lowering your standards and accepting a sub-par partner as it is about embracing imperfection.

“It all started years ago when David was sharing crazy stories he had from meeting people through traditional dating sites,” says Settle For Love's Kickstarter page. “Dates were posting pictures from 10 years ago, hiding that they still lived with their parents, neglecting to mention they hate men, and the list goes on. It seemed traditional dating sites weren't encouraging users to do anything but sell themselves. Through these comical discussions, a clear gap was identified, and our site was born.”

A prototype was launched in 2013. A user's profile included both flattering and unflattering pictures, laid out the pros and cons of dating them, and explained what they'd be willing to settle for in a partner. The hope was that happier, healthier relationships would be the result of a more honest approach to dating. Besides, as the Kickstarter notes, “someone’s 'imperfection' may actually be an attractive quality to the right match.”

Self-awareness and a smidge of self-deprecating humor can be incredibly attractive. And there's something nice about knowing that a person can admit to their flaws. You're going to find out about them anyway – might as well list them all up front, right? That way you can decide immediately if you're actually compatible, instead of wasting time with someone only to discover after months that you're not a match.

Unfortunately, the Kickstarter failed to get full funding, but the idea is still an intriguing one. If someone could do the same idea – but bigger, better – would it stand a chance against other dating sites? Are people ready to focus more heavily on what's inside, or are we secretly all shallow regardless of what we say we want? And would taking the imperfections-first approach actually improve relationships in the long run, or just make us even more likely to reject people without actually taking the time to get to know them?

It looks like we won't know for sure this time, but I'm curious to hear what you have to say. Share your thoughts in the comments.

Another year, another crop of studies trying to solve the problems of online dating. Maybe I shouldn't get so into them, but I can't help it. If science can help us get even a little bit closer to finding love, I'm all for it. The end of 2014 and beginning of 2015 predictably brought on a slew of new research with some interesting insights to share.

One study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences found something that's unlikely to surprise you: men who post more selfies to social media sites are more narcissistic.

The research uncovered a connection between a penchant for posting selfies and four personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy and self-objectification. Narcissism and psychopathy were both linked to the number of selfies posted, while narcissism and self-objectification appeared to influence the tendency for men to edit photos of themselves online.

While some resolved to actually use their expensive gym memberships and others resolved to spend more time with family in 2015, you resolved to double down on your online dating efforts.

The key to keeping any resolution to is to be smart about setting your goals. Saying “I want to find love this year” sounds nice, but what does it really mean? What steps will you take to get there? It's unclear when a goal is so general.

Instead, you need to set specific goals by working backwards. If the ultimate aim is finding love, start planning the particular steps that are going to get you there. For instance, “Join an online dating site.” If you haven't done that yet, that's a simple first step that is specific (you could even mention the exact dating site), easy to take action on, and measurable (as in, you can tell when it's completed). The more your goals follow those parameters, the easier you will find it to reach them.

Let's talk about some of the goals you could set this year:

• Choose 3-5 first date spots. The first date is an intimidating experience no matter what, but picking a setting that's familiar can help reduce your anxiety. Have a few go-to spots in mind so you're always ready with a venue that's comforting and relaxing.
• Plan conversation starters. I'm not saying your whole interaction should be canned, but it doesn't hurt to have a few conversation starters for when things get awkward. OkCupid's research has found that the 3 best questions to determine long-term potential are: Do you like horror moves? Have you ever traveled around another country alone? Wouldn't it be fun to chuck it all and go live on a sailboat?
• Follow up like the adult you are. That means two things. First, follow up no more than 3 days after a date (but realistically, the 3 day rule is silly – why not day 1 or 2?). Second, if you're not interested in seeing your date again, inform them politely. Don't pull a childish disappearing act.
• Upload new pictures. How current are the photos on your online dating profile right now? If the newest picture is a year old, it's time for a refresh. Make sure you go for variety – a close-up, a full-body shot, and snaps that show a little more about who you are and what you're into.
• Reread your profile. Most people write it once and never think about it again. It's not the worst possible approach, if you put a lot of thought into it the first time around, but it's not the best either. You grow and change, and your profile should to. Read it through and make sure it reflects who you are now, in 2015.

What are your dating resolutions for 2015?

The most important aspect of your online dating profile is the photo. While visual-based dating apps like Tinder have made the photo the only determining factor in whether to swipe left or right, photos have always played a crucial role in how many times your profile gets viewed and by whom.

Does this seem shallow, or turn you off of online dating altogether? It shouldn’t. Let’s face it – when you meet someone in real life, the first thing you notice is what he or she looks like. The difference is, while you might not initially be attracted physically, having a chance to interact in person could change your opinion. Chemistry is elusive – you might want it with someone who looks a certain way, but actually have it with another who isn’t your type. But you don’t know until you meet face-to-face.

Which is why you want to give yourself the best advantage by including photos that will make people stop and take a second look at your profile, regardless of whether or not you feel you look like a model. The point is – you want to get to the actual in-person meeting to make that determination. But you have to get past the screening process first – a.k.a., the photos.

Here are some tips:

Accentuate your unique features – even the ones you don’t like. Think your unruly hair will turn people off? Think again. OkCupid did a study, and as it turns out, online daters have really varied tastes! Most are interested in people with unusual features rather than just ordinarily attractive features – so emphasize your curvy hips or regal nose. It will get you more attention.

Look into the camera. Most people prefer online dating prospects to look at the camera, and to smile. It looks much more inviting and engaging.

More is more. Posting a slew of selfies isn’t a great way to create your online dating profile, but you do want to post more rather than fewer photos. Have a friend take some varied shots that you can sort through later. Go outside where the best light is, and where you can have a little more fun with the camera.

Vary your poses, and do a close-up. You might not be comfortable in front of a camera, but you don’t want to make potential dates work hard to figure out what you look like. Embrace a close-up photo so your face is clear, and incorporate a body shot so you don’t look like you are trying to hide. Don’t pose with friends – this is a solo act.

Show your active side. Do you like to climb rocks, play volleyball, or strum a guitar? You’re much more likely to get messages if you have a visual of what you love to do.

Show your playful side. A big trend in online dating is to not take yourself so seriously. You are looking to meet people and have a good time, so it’s good to be a bit more playful and creative with your photos. People want to see your personality up front – so do that silly pose. Have more fun.

If you are among the 150,000 Tinder users in Ireland, your chances of finding a match are only one in a hundred - or about 1% - according to a new study.

Researchers for Ipsos MRBI, who surveyed people living in Ireland who say they use Tinder, discovered that dating app users’ chances for finding someone they click with are not that much greater than randomly meeting people at bars and pubs. In fact, the odds may be less favorable with apps, likely because there is the perception of browsing through a seemingly infinite number of eligible singles each time you log on to the app, making commitment seem unappealing. The more choices you have, the less willing you become to settle for just one person.

There is an addictive quality to apps like Tinder, according to its own figures. The average Tinder user spends between an hour and 90 minutes using the app every day, logging in 11 times. There are also an estimated 50 million active users of Tinder, compared to 864 million active Facebook users and 300 million active Twitter users – proving that the dating app has as much power to hold users’ attention as the major social media platforms.

Part of the reason for its low percentage of matches might be Tinder’s demographic, at least in Ireland - preferred mainly among fickle twenty-somethings who log on to the app several times a day. Only 12% of Irish Tinder users are between ages 35 and 44, and for those between 45 and 54, the number goes down to 3%.

Men are also less picky than women when it comes to saying yes to a dating app match. According to the study, they are three times more likely (46%) to swipe “like” on a woman’s profile whereas only 14% of women say yes to a man’s profile. The study also shows however that women invest a little more thought and time - women spend 8.5 minutes reading profiles on Tinder each time they log in, compared to a man’s 7.2 minutes (which are spent swiping).

So what does this mean for daters? The U.K. might not be much different from Tinder users all over the world. There is an accessibility and ease to the app, which has made it extremely popular and given its users a lot of options when it comes to meeting new people. But just like flipping through magazine pictures, sometimes it’s easier to just look at more photos than to reach out and contact someone, even if you find them intriguing. The real test is – can Tinder translate to real-world relationships?

Maybe your chances are about the same on Tinder as they are at your local bar. But until you reach out to try and meet in real life, you won’t know.