An article at Consumer Affairs tells the story of Annette (not her real name) who met someone online at eHarmony and was ultimately scammed her life savings, over $37,000. The scammer named John, who she met online and fell in love with had reportedly traveled to Nigeria where his luggage and $45,000 in travellers checks got confiscated. Everyday his situation seemed to get worse (including the kidnapping of his daughter) which prompted him to ask Annette to send him another few thousand dollars. John used guilt in part to motivate Annette to send him money including comments about "if you loved me ..." and dealing with God and the church.
I really feel sorry for Annettes situation. Some people can be real vulnerable when they are looking for love and this is what the scammers are relying on. Annette did have several warning signs though. They were:
- Someone requested money from her who she had only chatted online and over the phone with. She had never actually met face-to-face with him.
- John was in Nigeria were a large number of dating scams seem to originate from.
- He had bad grammar and spelling.
- She did have doubts.
- According to eHarmony they did warn her about John who was discovered to be using a stolen credit card. This warning came 3 days before she sent the first $1,300. It is unclear in the article if she did see and ignored the warning.
eHarmony does offer some safety tips too its members to make sure their experience is successful and safe (see full list here). Under the heading "Always Use Your Best Judgment" they warn members:
eHarmony works hard to screen out dishonest applicants, but assessing a match's truthfulness and honesty is ultimately your responsibility. Don't ignore any facts that seem inconsistent or 'off.' Trust your instincts—if something doesn't feel right, close communication or if on a date, leave. You're in control of the entire process, so you can choose a comfortable pace for your relationship.
Watch out for someone who:
- Asks for money
- Asks inappropriate questions
- Wants to speed up the pace beyond your comfort level
- Tells stories with inconsistencies, some which may sound grandiose
- Gives vague answers to specific questions
- Urges you to compromise your principles
- Constantly blames others for troubles in his or her life
- Insists on getting overly close, overly fast.
The above tips are good for all dating sites (and social networks too). Remember this was an extreme example of what can happen to someone who is scammed. Above all I would recommend to trust your instincts, If the situation doesn't feel right then, it probably isn't.
Find out more of the story on ConsumerAffairs.com.
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