Statistics

Younger daters are really into dating apps – they helped bring Tinder into the mainstream, and now there are a slew of new dating apps hitting the market, allowing you to do everything from set your Instagram feed to music (Raya) and obtain the dating profile of that girl at the coffee shop you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk to (Happn). While younger daters are active on these apps, as it turns out, the fastest-growing group of online daters is 60 and older.

But do younger and older online daters date differently? University of Texas researchers Eden Davis and Karen Fingerman suspected that their were contrasts between their motivations for online dating, but wanted to determine this through the content of their profiles, so they conducted a study published this month about the differences in profile language and motivation each age group has when it comes to dating.

While we know people using dating websites and apps are typically motivated to find a partner and to date, we know little about the differences of what motivates them to use dating sites, what exactly they are looking for, or how they present themselves to different partners. Gathering 4000 online dating profiles from men and women across the United States, the researchers sampled profiles evenly by gender and from four age groups (18 to 29; 30 to 49; 50 to 64; and 65 or over). The final sample ranged in age from 18 to 95.

First, the researchers studied the most common words used in profiles by all age groups, which included: like, love, music, good, enjoy and fun. But they also discovered different age groups used different words in common when crafting their online dating profiles. For younger daters, these most frequently included the words: go, get, work, school, laugh, movies, much, find, think, try and anything.

Older daters seemed to be more focused on building connection. Their profiles most frequently included words like: man, woman, share, relationship, humor, travel, years, honest, important, well, sense, and family.

Eden said in her report: “Notably, older adults used more positive emotion words such as “sweet,” “kind,” and “nice,” more first person plural pronouns such as “we,” “us,” and “our,” and more words in the ‘friends’ category. These findings suggest that when they present themselves to potential partners, older adults focus on positivity and connectedness to others. Not surprisingly, older adults were also more likely to use health-related words such as “ache,” “doctor,” and “exercise.”

Younger adults tended to enhance their profiles, using mostly first-person singular pronouns like “I” and “me.” They also tended to focus on work and achievement.

The researchers concluded that adults of all ages were looking for love and a partner to enjoy life with, but that younger adults focus more on themselves and their own attributes, while older daters focused on positivity and connection to others.

Next time you think “I would never be stupid enough to fall for an online dating scam,” think again. According to an FBI report, Americans lost over $85 million through online dating and romance frauds last year.

It seems like common sense not to give money to a stranger you met online, but that $85 million tells a different story. The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) had a busy year in 2014 and o ne budding crime trend stood out: the increased use of social media to perpetrate frauds.

“Over the last decade, the growth and popularity of social media has increased,” says the FBI report. “Social media has revolutionized the way people interact with others and has become an integral part of life for people of all ages. Criminals have exploited social media by phishing for unwary users to fall victim to their scams.”

IC3 complaint data shows 12% of the complaints submitted in 2014 contained a social media aspect, including online dating scams. Women over 40 were the worst-hit demographic, with total losses of $68,529,135. Men over 40 followed, with losses of $13,766,588, then men and women 39 and under, at $4,417,280.

The amount lost to romance scams averaged out to a whopping $14,000 per complaint.

In one particularly common scheme, scammers assume the identities of military personnel and pretending to seek relationships online. Once they've made a digital connection with someone who falsely believes them to be trustworthy, the criminals present convincing scenarios involving family tragedies, severe life circumstances, and other hardships in attempt to solicit money.

In most cases, scammers exploit their victims' personal information using compromised accounts or social engineering. The FBI offers the following advice to online daters:

• Be wary of individuals who claim the romance was destiny or fate, and you are meant to be together.
• Be cautious if an individual says they are in love with you and cannot live without you, but need you to send money so they can visit you. If you do not send money or otherwise try to help, they will claim you do not love them.
• Fraudsters typically claim to be from the United States (or your local region), but are currently overseas, or going overseas, for business or family matters.

If you see any of these signs, especially if you see more than one happening concurrently, beware. You could soon be contributing to that $85 million dollars.

A recent article in Marie Claire surveyed single men across the U.S. to ask them about the online dating profiles they come across, and what they felt women lied about most when writing their online dating profiles.

The number one thing guys think women lie about is their looks – whether it’s their weight, “athleticism,” height, or even whether or not they've posted an old picture from five years ago. Enough women have used tricks to make themselves look more “attractive” – from using old photos to Photoshopping their features to avoiding posting full-body pictures – so that men are automatically suspicious of how they portray themselves physically, and what they might be hiding. So ladies, no more cover-ups. Include recent photos, and a body shot as well as headshots. Since there are also studies on the wide range of taste men have, you should show off your “flaws” - likely, it means more dates.

Men also believe women lie about their age. Let’s face it – I think this happens for both genders, especially for men who want to date much younger women. There is an age bias in online dating, which contributes to this phenomenon, but perhaps we should all do a reality check. Do you really want to admit you lied about something so fundamental when you meet in person, especially if you really like the guy? It pays to come clean from the start, so trust won’t be an issue.

Men are also weary of women who post that they love their independence – and include lots of photos with their girlfriends as proof. If you describe yourself as "not clingy," the first thing a man will wonder is – how clingy will she be? Instead of saying this in your profile, talk about the trips you’ve taken or the things you like to do. There’s no need to prove your independence if you have it.

Perhaps thanks to the movie/ book “Gone Girl,” men also get suspicious of any woman who describes herself as “laid-back.” They immediately wonder if she’s very sensitive or highly reactive. Same thing with women who describe themselves as successful – if they have to say it, are they really? (Plus, men tend to lie about their own success.) Again, it’s best to avoid defending yourself to someone who has never met you.

The last and most important thing to note is that men don’t believe it when women say they want a “casual” relationship. When they take this statement at face value, often times, the women end up wanting more, so they avoid women who write this altogether. The important thing to remember is – be honest. If you want a relationship, you shouldn’t be afraid to admit it. In fact, it will help you weed out the ones who don’t – because you won’t succeed in changing them.

Were you wondering who is most likely to reach out to you over social media or an online dating app? Social network and dating app Skout has combed its database to discover the types of people who appear to be the most social, at least online.

Not surprisingly, tall men are not only desirable, but also more sociable. According to Skout's data, the number of online friendships men have increases with their height. Short men (under 5’6”) have, on average, online connections with 11 people. Men of average height (between 5’10” and 6’) have, on average, online connections with 16 people, whereas tall men (over 6’3”) have an average of 17 online connections. (Note: Skout defines an online connection as a conversation initiated by one Skouter who receives at least one response from the other person. There could be additional conversations with the same person, but it would still be included as one connection.)

Women trend the opposite when it comes to height. Short women – under 4’11” – average online connections with 33 people, whereas tall women (over 6’) average online connections with less than half -  only 14 people. So ladies, if you are petite – you are in demand online!

An interesting finding that runs contrary to online dating stereotypes is that women who describe themselves as “curvy” or have “more to love” tend to be more socially active than their thin counterparts (28 connections on average, compared to 20 respectively). So if you’re thinking about dismissing or hiding your curves in your online dating profile, it is worth your while instead to show them off, reach out to people, and make more connections.

Bigger men however don’t fare so well. Men who say they are “athletic” and “muscular” are the most popular -  averaging connections with 19 people, whereas men who say they are “large,” “solid” or have “more to love” average online connections with only 14 people.

Age plays a role in most daters’ sociability, too. On average, 18-20 year-old who are just starting out in the dating game are very sociable online, with an average of 14 connections per person for women and 7 for men. People start coupling up or feeling jaded by the time they hit their twenties and into their thirties, with fewer connections than ever. By the time people reach their forties, they have picked up the pace again, and tend to have the highest number of connections – 16 on average per person for women and 8 for men.

The study was compiled over a six-month period with over one million Skout users in the U.S.

Ask those who have tried online dating and most will agree: it does expand your social circles. Through the swipe of a screen or click of a button, you have plenty of new people to meet that you wouldn’t encounter if you only relied on friends and family members to set you up on dates. But sometimes despite all these opportunities, online dating is an overwhelming, confusing and even disappointing experience.

A recent article in Mic.com looked deeper into this phenomenon, asking psychologists what they make of online dating, and citing studies that maintain it’s not necessarily productive in terms of finding a long-term relationship.

There have been studies about how too many choices can overwhelm us to the point of paralysis. In a 2010 study by Psychological Science, researchers found that when we have too many choices in dating we often don’t make good decisions. They likened it to shopping: when consumers are faced with too many brands of product, whether it’s laundry detergents or chocolate, our brains become overwhelmed, which leads us to make poorer choices. In other words, we buy the detergent based on the pretty packaging, not the quality of ingredients or how effectively it cleans clothes.

The study focused on 84 different speed dating events of different sized groups. Those who met 24 or more potential dates in one night tended to feel overwhelmed, and they made decisions about who to date based solely on physical characteristics like height and weight. However at the smaller events, people felt less overwhelm, and made decisions about who to date based on non-physical characteristics, such as sense of humor, education, and career.

As one of the researchers said, “There are constraints on what our brains can do – they’re quite powerful, but they can’t pay attention to everything at once.”

And online dating has only gotten more confusing and overwhelming since dating apps like Tinder have taken over the market. People swipe left and right with little inner guidance about their choices – almost as if they are dating on auto-pilot.

The good news is, we have more choice when it comes to meeting people – we can go outside of our own circles. But we also have to understand that while there seems to be an endless supply of potential dates – and therefore it seems there’s always someone “better” to meet – we are also limiting our love lives. Taking a shopping mentality to dating prevents us from living in the present, and from enjoying the company of someone we’re getting to know. Not everyone is going to be a romantic match, but usually it takes more than one or two dates to get to know someone.

Take your time. There’s no rush. It’s time to enjoy online dating – one person at a time.

Back in December of 2014 Zoosk abandoned their IPO and hired a new CEO Kelly Steckelberg. This month she did an interview with Fortune in which she discussed the future of the dating service and how she plans to turn it around.

Zoosk earned over $178 million and was profitable in 2013. In 2014 the company earned more than $200 million, but they again slipped into the red and lost money. For this reason they let go 15% of their staff and canceled the planned IPO.

With her eye on Zoosk being profitable again, this pass November Kelly switched Zoosk to a premium model. This means a subscription is now required for Zoosk members to send messages. It is still free to create a profile and search for other Zooskers though and this is the same model that other companies like Match.com, eHarmony and Christian Mingle uses. Zoosk also plans to introduce a number of other new features for their premium service to entice more users to pay. This includes a photo verification system and a badge to identify members who have been verified.

So far it appears the turn around of Zoosk (or at least the start of it) has been a success. Kelly Steckelberg says Zoosk will soon announced that the first quarter of 2015 was profitable.

For more on this dating service you can read our Zoosk review.